Hey everyone! This was my entry for the showertoflowers contest. It win anything, but I may continue this story at some point.
It had been ten years since I had walked the well beaten paths of my grandmother's summer home. I spent the summer of 2001 with my grandmother. So many things happened and changed that summer. I had always been close to my Gran, but that summer she became my best friend. Who would have thought that your seventy-eight year old grandmother would be the one you ran to when you had boy problems. Gran was so wise, and always knew what to say. Sometimes I was pretty sure she bullshitted her way through some of my problems, but she always made it better. I wish she was here to help me now. I needed her more than anything. She had gone to a better place. Maybe she was with my grandfather, but we would never know until we joined the ones we loved. I had hope that I would see her again. For now, I just had to hope that she would watch over me, and help me make the best decision for me.
A warm breeze blew, and I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and all I could smell was wildflowers. The summer of oh one started to come back with all the bittersweet memories. The only thing that was bitter was the fact that the summer had to end. If it was an option, I would have stayed at the summer house with Gran and Edward. The smell of wildflowers made me think of only of Edward to this day. He was a charmer, and he knew how to make me swoon. I still had the small bunch of flowers he gave me our last day together.
Tears prickled my eyes as I thought of our goodbye. At least I had a goodbye with Edward, I didn't get one with Gran. I swear I could still hear his voice saying that he loved me. I have had three other men say they loved me, but none ever matched up to the sincerity that was in Edward's voice. He was my one and only love; no one ever compared to him. He was probably a different person now, but what we shared was too perfect to want anything else. Edward set the bar high for any other guy that walked into my life. None of my other boyfriends were sweet enough; romantic enough; or sexy enough.
I wish Edward and I both would have tried harder to stay in contact, but life had other plans for us. The last time I saw him in person was when we had our tearful goodbye. Last time I talked to him was 2004. After that, nothing. Between summer classes and work, neither one of us had time. I was still optimistic enough to believe that we would see each other again.
Now that I was standing in front of the summer house, I let a few tears slip down my face. I was a strong person, and I hated to cry, but my emotions were in overdrive. The place that held so many good memories were suddenly sad. The thought of why I was here broke me. Then with all the thoughts of Edward, I was falling apart quickly. Feeling that life was too short, was weighing on me as well. I was a twenty-seven year old workaholic. I needed to change my life. I needed to open my heart more. I needed love in my life.
I smiled through my tears as I though of the first day I met Edward.
The sun was perfectly warm, and I was sunbathing in my favorite white bikini while reading a book. My Gran had yelled at me to not get burnt. It was inevitable, but I put on sun block to ease her mind. As I lay there reading, I heard hushed voices. When I looked over my book, I saw a man and woman walking my way. I put my book down and called for Gran to come out. A huge smile plastered across Gran's face when she saw the couple. Our land was between two other properties.
"Wait up!" I heard a voice yell. The woman stopped dead in her tracks and waited for the hottest boy I had ever seen. He had messy hair, and I was pretty sure he never brushed it. He had stubble on his face that made him look older. His jaw was so kissable, and the perfect shape for his face. As they came closer, I saw that his eyes were the prettiest gray blue. I never thought that gray could every be pretty, but his eyes really were.
"Hello, sorry if we are disturbing you," the women said. I tried not to stare at the boy, but it just didn't work. I thought my knees were going to give out when he gave me a crooked smile.
"Oh, not at all," Gran said sweetly. "I'm Maire Swan, and this is my granddaughter Bella."
"It's so nice to meet you," the woman said with a large smile. "I'm Esme Cullen, this is my husband Carlisle, and our son Edward."
"What wonderful names you all have," Gran gushed. She loved older names.
"We haven't had neighbors in a long while, so we had to come and introduce ourselves," Carlisle said.
"Would you like to come in for a glass of tea?" Gran offered.
"That would be lovely,"Esme said turning to Edward. "You don't have to stay, I know you wanted to go swimming."
"There's a place to go swimming here?" I asked. I loved to swim.
"Yeah, do you want to go?" Edward asked me.
"I would love to. Would it be okay?" I asked Gran. I knew she wasn't going to tell me no.
"Go on, just be back before dinner," she said as I hugged her. I ran into the house, grabbed a towel, and put on a pair of shorts. I slipped on a pair of flip flops and headed back to Edward. Little did I know, this was the beginning of the best relationship that I would ever have.
We walked close to one another, and fell into an easy conversation. There was a small pond in the middle of the woods. It wasn't very deep, but it was deep enough to get wet. I assumed it was a natural spring pond, because the water was freezing. It felt good again my hot skin.
I found out that day that Edward was eighteen and he had just graduated high school. He was going to Dartmouth in the fall. He wanted to major in business. I was jealous, because he knew what he wanted to do with his life. I was hoping that within the next year I would know what I would want to do with my life.
Edward liked cake and not cookies. He liked all music except for rap. He hated seafood, and he said if he ever had to eat it, he would starve. He could play the piano and guitar. He was fluent in Spanish and french. I found out most of his life in one afternoon. I loved to listen to him talk. His voice was so soothing and his laugh sounded like music.
We would blatantly ogle each other. There was no shame in it, I guess, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. I thought I was going to squeal when he asked if I had a boyfriend. When I said no, he started to get closer to me, and he told me that he didn't have a girlfriend. All I could do was blush and bit my lip. He put his arm around my shoulders as we sat in the water. My heart was thumping in my throat. Edward wasn't my first kiss, but he was the first kiss that I got into.
That first kiss became the first of many. I remembered my grandmother scolding us when she caught us kissing. She told us that kissing lead to sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I remembered laughing my ass off. Edward and I agreed to never do drugs, so we told Gran we were safe on that end. She just shook her head at us. Edward and I became one. I was where he was, and he was were I was. If Gran and I went to do something, she assumed that Edward was going with us. The same went for the Cullens. Edward and I were together from the end of June until Labor day. I even went with him to Dartmouth for his registration.
We confessed our love to each other almost a month into getting to know one another. I knew we weren't really in love, but it felt so right. It was good to have that boy who said that he loved you. Esme and Carlisle took Gran out a week after Edward and I said that we loved each other. The adults all trusted us, so there was no questions to leaving us alone. It was a hot and humid night, and the stars were shining bright. Edward and I were laying out by the pond, we talked some, but there was such tension in the air. That was the night we had our first fight.
"What's going on in that pretty head of your?" He asked rolling over to his side.
"Nothing," I said not looking him in the eyes. I didn't really know what my problem was, but I was definitely acting weird.
"You have been off all day, and I want to know what is going on." I didn't say anything at first for the fact that I didn't know what to say.
"It's nothing, really. I'm just worrying about things that I can't control." I told him hoping he would understand what I was saying.
"What's got you so worried?" He was such a boy!
"I'm just sad that the summer is going to come to an end," I said as I heard him chuckle. "Why are you laughing?"
"Babe, you don't know what is going to happen after the summer, so don't worry about it," he said. I turned to look at him and I saw him roll his eyes.
"You don't even care," I said as tears threatened to spill over.
"I care, Bella. I truly do, but why worry about something that isn't going to happen until September?" He said trying to end my rant.
"Whatever," I said looking back up to the stars. I wished on every star that Edward and I would be together forever.
"Bella, I love you, but I'm not going to make false promises and then break your heart later," he said. I knew he was just being honest, but it was not what I wanted to hear.
"God, I wish I was a guy!"
"What does that have to with anything?"
"Because, if I was a guy I wouldn't give a fuck that I made a girl fall in love with me, and then crush her no matter what happened!" I said as I got up off the blanket and walked away. I took five steps before Edward grabbed a hold of my arm to stop me.
"Do you think that is how I feel? That I won't be heartbroken after this summer? I want this to be more than a summer fling! I'm not going to dwell on what could happen and then miss out on an amazing summer! I will not fight with you for the remainder of the summer over who is going to be hurt worse! Hate to tell you, but I will be just as upset as you! So, if you want to walk away now, then go, because I will not stop you," he said. Edward stared at me for a long minute and then walked back over to the blanket and sat back down. I wanted to walk away. I wanted to never look back, but I was drawn to Edward. There were no questions about it.
I ended up walking back to him and laying my head on his shoulder. I told him how scared I was, and he told me that he felt the same. Looking back now, I knew that we were both scared, because we both knew that we weren't going to be able to be together. That summer was just the perfect ending to our childhood. Edward had just turned eighteen, and I was going to be eighteen that September. Part of me hoped that Edward wasn't that sweet young boy anymore. I wanted him to be an asshole, someone I would hate.
As I started to pack up the things that Gran kept in the summer house, I came across a box marked Bella. I had no idea what was in it, so I ripped it open. There were pictures of Edward and me, and some with Gran. The lump grew in my throat to where I felt like I couldn't breath. One picture brought back the memory of our first time together. Edward had the biggest smile on his face, and I looked as if I had a sign on my forehead that said 'I had sex'. I laughed out loud in the empty room. I was so nervous, that I wouldn't stop talking. I hugged the picture to my chest and thought of the first time I had done the deed.
"What if I get pregnant?" I asked as Edward kissed down my neck.
"I'm not worried. You have been on the pill for over a year, and I have a condom. We're good, I promise," he said as he untied my bikini top.
I felt comfortable with him, and he had already seen me naked. We knew that we were going to share our first time together. We had talked about it for days. I had already gone down on him as he had on me, but we were going to go all the way.
"I love you, Bella. I don't think I will ever be able to tell or show you how much I love you," he told me. My heart melted, I loved him so much.
"You have to go slow," I said. He smiled at me as he rolled the condom down his shaft. He was so big, I was sure he was going to rip me into two.
"I'm starting to think you don't trust me," he said with a playful pout. He brought his lips to mine as he positioned himself between my legs.
"My heart is racing."
"That's a good thing," he said with a smile.
"Maybe you should just go really fast. Ya know, it should be like ripping off a..."
"I'm trying, but I'm so nervous. I know it is going to hurt, and in two days you are going to want to do it again, and I think I'm going to be still scared. I want to be good enough for you..." I was caught off by Edward's mouth on mine. His kisses always left me speechless. As he deepened the kiss, he started to push into me. My whole body stiffened, and Edward rubbed his hands up and down my torso. The more he rubbed, the more relaxed I became. He knew me better than anyone. He knew how to make me laugh, cry, and he knew every way to calm me down.
"I love you," Edward said as he pushed into me and took my innocents. I felt a burning sensation, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. After a few thrusts, I almost enjoyed it. I would have maybe gotten off if it would have lasted longer, but Edward couldn't hack it. My first reaction was to ask if it was over, but I knew that would be a blow to his ego.
"That was the best I have ever had," I said trying to make light of the situation.
"Yeah, you top my list as well," he said as we cuddled into each other and laughed. "Was it as painful as you thought it was going to be?"
"No," I said as I kissed his chest. "Thank you."
"For loving me."
"You are amazing, baby. What's not to love?"
It was too much being at the summer house by myself. My goodbye with Edward started playing in my head. I wanted Edward so badly. I wanted Gran. I know she would tell me to get off my ass and find my man. I wanted to, but I was scared of rejection. What if he was married already? I don't think I would be able to handle that. I would rather live with the what if's than go and find him to have my heart broken again.
I looked back in the box and found all the flowers that Edward had giving me. More tears fell from my eyes. That was when I promised myself I would at least look him up on facebook to see if he was single. I needed closure, and I needed to move on. I was done with living in the past.
I had been crying for the last day. I had to say goodbye to Edward, and it was the last thing I wanted to do. His car was all packed and ready to go. I was stalling as long as I could. Edward wrapped his arms around me and my back was to his front.
"I miss you already,"he whispered in my ear. His words broke me completely. I turned in his arm and cried into his chest. It made me feel better when I heard him sniffle into my hair. He was just as upset as I was. Just like he had told me.
"I love you Edward," I said as loud as my voice allowed.
"I love you too," he said as his voice cracked. "I have something for you," he said clearing his throat. He pulled away from me and reached into his car. I laughed out a sob when I saw a small bouquet of wild flowers.
"I love flowers," I said with a not so lady like snort.
"I know. I think I have given you enough to last a little while, right?" He asked.
"Yes," I whispered. "Drive safe, and don't forget me."
"I couldn't forget you if I tried," he said. That made me feel good. "I love you so much."
"I love you just as much," I said as our lips lightly touched. We deepened our kiss and our hands touched whatever body part we could. I was trying to memorize the feel and smell of him.
He gave me three quick kisses and an even faster I love you before he got into his car. His face was wet with tears and it broke my heart more to see him so upset.
That was the last time I had seen him in person. We would have been so good together. I should have tried harder, even if he didn't, I wouldn't have live with so many regrets. I pushed the box full of memories away. The emotion inside the small box was too much. I got up off the floor and headed outside, I needed air. Once I was outside, I couldn't breathe or move. I thought for sure I was dreaming. I was positive that I was dreaming. There was no way this was happening. If it was real, I knew my amazing grandmother was behind this.
Let me know what you all think!