A SasuSaku fanfiction

By screwitall

Summary: Sakura develops a crush on Kakashi, Sasuke is horrified and Naruto is confuzzled.

A/N: Fellow House M.D. fans may notice similarities in term of the story concept and a few bits of conversation between this fic and the medical series. Inspired by an episode while watching Season One (I missed it, okay? T.T) Chase wasn't actually appalled when Cameron developed a crush on House, but he wasn't as amused as Foreman. I wish he was appalled. NO MATTER, THEY ENDED UP TOGETHER ANYWAY 8D

Disclaimer: Owning House and Naruto is the greatest dream a girl can have. Unfortunately, it is never going to happen :(

She was joking. She should be.

That was what Naruto and Sasuke initially thought when Sakura informed them that she liked Kakashi and finds him very attractive.

Naruto stammered a response. "Sa-Sakura-chan, Tsunade-baachan rammed a barrel of booze down your throat again, didn't she? You're not thinking straight, see? Don't worry, I'll tell Kakashi-sensei you called in sick and—"

Sakura silenced him with a glare. "Excuse me, but I am not drunk." She sighed wistfully, lost in love. "Just so intoxicated with love…"

The blond groaned, muttering something like 'it's hopeless', while Sasuke opened and closed his mouth like a fish. They wondered if someone who had too much to drink knew he or she was wasted.


The medic-nin blinked, then faced her teammate. "Yes, Sasuke?"

Sasuke swallowed, trying not to demand where the hell the goddamn –kun is. "Go home. I'll tell Kakashi you're not feeling well."

"Guys, I'm feeling just fine," Sakura gritted her teeth. "And I have a feeling Kakashi-kun has a mission for us."

Naruto gagged, feeling the need to puke, and Sasuke frowned.

So that's where it strayed off to.

"He is our sensei," Naruto stressed, flailing his arms around. "You can't get all sweet and cute and fluffy with your sensei. He's like a father figure, and for you to think of him as your cuddly boy toy, it's—oh, my God, I wanna throw up."

"Kakashi won't even do anything about it. You're only wasting your time," Sasuke added.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, that's exactly what I did when I liked you. Don't be so selfish. I think he deserves a shot. Think he'll do better than just knock me out when I confess?"

Scowling, Sasuke turned away and momentarily regretted all the times he rejected her. It wasn't that he liked her and it definitely isn't because he's jealous, oh, God, no. It's just that maybe, just maybe, he kind of made her develop an attraction for guys who won't like her in a million years. Damned if he did.

"You can't even see his face!" Naruto cried. "How could you like a guy whose nose and mouth are practically nonexistent?"

"All the more reason to like him."


"He's mysterious. In case you've forgotten, I like mysterious guys."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Well, next time another mysterious guy takes your breath away, remind me to take it down."

Naruto was seriously confuzzled. What is wrong with Sakura? Okay, having the hots for Sasuke was abnormal enough, but Kakashi? He's a pervert. He reads books authored by a pervert. And 'til now, Naruto still can't look at Kakashi without the memory of Kakashi sticking his fingers up his anus crosses his mind. These women are so weird.

Sasuke stood uncomfortably, like he wanted to crawl away to a universe where Sakura had a thing for pale, dark-haired, dark-eyed, lonely men her age whose faces were actually seen by most of society. Oh, come on, what does Kakashi have that Sasuke doesn't? Looks? Discussion of the matter has already been completed, thank you very much. Charm? Sasuke can be charming. Just not…all the time. Only when no one's around and he feels like it. Strength? Sasuke's strong…

…but he was never given a second thought when people talk about the next Hokage in line. Hm.

"I promise to train harder if you'll stop this foolishness," he said, staring into her eyes intently.

Sakura tore her gaze from his and crossed her arms across her chest. "You don't have to. I'm seriously in love with him and nothing will change that."

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" Naruto wailed.

Sasuke grimly nodded in silent agreement. How indeed. "But…but…"

All right, for the record, Sasuke does not normally stutter. He may hesitate; he may have a tendency to completely disregard a question that hit him where it hurt and made him wallow in darkness and depression, but Uchiha Sasuke is never caught showing any display of weakness or nervousness. Well, at least, that's what he says. Naruto stared at him expectantly.

"But what?" Sakura challenged tauntingly.

"He's so old," Sasuke said.

His female teammate smirked. "And you're so young."

"And Kakashi's older than you by more than a decade."

"Orochimaru was older than you by more than four decades. Don't try to fool me. I know he's been in your pants the whole time you weren't here," Sakura countered.

Sasuke scoffed. "I don't even have any romantic feelings towards him."

"That's what you want me to think."

Naruto watched in awe as the tough, cocky, arrogant son of a bitch he'd known for so long engaged in a battle of words with…well, Sakura. Sure, she's rather gruff-mannered and freakishly strong, but when faced with Sasuke, she usually morphs into some kind of Hinata. All sweet and polite and shy. What's even more mind-blowing than seeing Sasuke waste his so-called precious time defending himself to Sakura is that Sakura is actually fighting. What else, you say? She's kind of winning.

"It doesn't matter. Right now, you're the one with the problem here," Sasuke snapped.

"Problem? Having a crush is a problem? Oh, and Sasuke, I didn't expect you to be so affected when I mentioned I liked Kakashi-kun." Sakura was enjoying herself, seeing how flushed Sasuke was at that statement.

The former avenger was indignant. "What are you talking about? I was a little concerned."

"Okay. Now, pull another."

"I was not joking."

Sasuke was getting annoyed here. If he was utterly baffled earlier, now he's just plain impatient.

Sakura, on the other hand, was in a playful mood. "Why would you be so concerned, Sasuke? I think Kakashi-kun would be a terrific boyfriend."

There was a murderous look in Sasuke's eyes. Stop. Attaching. The. Damn. Suffix.

By then, Naruto had already sat down on the ground and idly played with the hem of his pants. Obviously, Sasuke isn't going to admit how jealous he is and Sakura isn't going to stop being so disgusting. Naruto still had a bit of a crush on a Sakura (though it's waning), but even he could see how affected Sasuke is.

"I don't like seeing my friends get hurt," Sasuke said.

"Oh, that's right. You want to protect the people precious to you. That's adorable."

Naruto thought about cutting in, but decided against it. Things are turning out pretty interesting. He wondered how this would end.

"Reality check, Sakura. This man you're allegedly 'in love'"—here, Sasuke actually did quotation marks with his fingers—"will still see you as his student. For him, you're a daughter or a niece." Sasuke folded his arms across his chest, confident he made his point.

"Um, okay. Your point?"

"This is going to get you nowhere. Get over him."

Sakura didn't even see him coming. One second, he was just standing several feet away from her, looking all arrogant and annoyed. And then, in the blink of an eye, his arms were on either side of her, his hands gripping the red railings of the bridge. The metal pressed against her lower back uncomfortably. He has certainly gotten taller; the top of Sakura's head was only on a level with his collarbone. His eyes, dark as the blackest night, bored holes into her legs, her waist, her chest, her lips and finally on her eyes.

"Don't—don't—" Sakura mumbled as his smoldering stare sent tremors breaking out all over her body.

"He isn't supposed to be the guy you like," Sasuke hissed and drew back his arms, letting Sakura breathe.

Sakura merely nodded, bewildered, as Sasuke walked back to his place Naruto, who was open-mouthed in a mixture of both shock and amazement. Then, as if on cue, Kakashi appeared, together with his ever-so-cheerful demeanor.

"Hi, guys," he greeted. "Sorry I'm late again today, I was—"

He stopped when nobody screamed, shrieked, rolled his/her eyes, sighed, snorted or made degrading comments. Something happened, he realized. Sakura was looking pale; Naruto looked as if Orochimaru just jumped out from Sasuke's pants and declared an ambush, while Sasuke was, compared to the other two, the only one looking normal. It's crazy.

"Anyway, there's this Festival of the Northern Winds at Suna, and Gaara invited you guys over. Also, you need to get these treaty scrolls while staying there. I won't be able to come with you guys since there's a three-day Jounin conference and I'll be one of Konoha's representatives." Kakashi cleared his throat after nobody reacted. Seriously, he expected at least one person to shout for joy and/or groan. "I'm sure you'll be fine without me. Be prepared to leave in ten minutes."

Again, no one moved a muscle. Kakashi was confused. Did he do anything wrong and they're ignoring him as a consequence? Maybe they're fed up with his tardiness. They've been with each other for seven years. Except Sasuke, who's been with him for three or four years. But that wouldn't explain Naruto and Sakura's questionable states. These teenagers are so weird. He left, hoping to ask them what happened once they got better from whatever happened to them.

Two days later, Team Seven arrived from Suna. Sasuke's admirers—boys and girls, young and old—stood by the Konoha gate and anticipated his return. Once they caught a glimpse of the former avenger, they cheered and waved their little Sasuke flags and Sasuke banners, but there was an almost eerie silence the very moment they saw his hand clasped in Sakura's. Behind the two, Naruto was grunting as he struggled to carry his, Sasuke's and Sakura's luggage.

"Am I—am I actually seeing this?"

"No freaking way!"

"They're together?"


Angry protests ensued as Team Seven walked past them. The three paid them no attention. Even Naruto didn't participate in the arguments.

No one really ever did know what happened in Suna except, of course, Team Seven and a few Suna guards. Whenever anyone asks them, they'll give them really cryptic answers. Ask Sakura and she'll just blush and smile. Whenever anyone asks Naruto, he'll roll his eyes and say, "These people are so weird." But Sasuke would always have the clearest answer. It's crazy.

Sasuke would smirk and say, "Anyone else isn't supposed to be the guy she likes."

A/N: WEIRD O.o Sorry to those reading FYI! I know FYI's new chapter is taking SOOOOOOO LONG but I've hit a block. We're all familiar with that block. And finals are coming up where I am. So by next week, I PROMISE THERE WILL BE A NEW CHAPTER :D Thanks for being patient :) Yeah, I know, LOL, there are those reviews telling me to update XD I'm really sorry! Thanks for reading!