I just don't understand why everything is so different.

One second, everything was fine; we hung out, watched movies and, on occasion, we playfully wrestled. And now, he won't even make eye-contact with me, and he gets a look of fear in his eyes whenever I'm around him.

What the hell happened, and why can't I remember? Why can't I even try? It's all just so confusing.

Do you understand what it's like? Can you even try, try to understand how much it hurts for someone so close to you to be so afraid around you, and you don't even know the reason why?

Can you understanding how frustrating it is to lose hours, sometimes days, in the blink of an eye?

No, I suppose you can't. After all, you're just a bunch of paper, bound together with a bit of metal. How can I expect you to know? To understand? To care?

Sometimes, I don't even know why Sensei had us keep journals. Hell, I don't even understand why we still do; the old rat's dead. But, I suppose it is a good way to vent my emotions.

Look, I've got to go. I need to figure this shit out.