A Life of Regrets

Andy was sitting alone in the lunchroom clutching his empty coffee cup when thought he felt someone watching him. He opened his eyes. Standing in front of him was Dr. Lisa Reed. He would normally feel flushed around her presence, but not now. Andy hung his head. Scott Becker, a patient of his, had died of a failed heart transplant. Andy had operated on Scott beforehand, but several weeks later Scott was positive for a rejected heart. Andy still remembered his encouraging self as he wheeled Scott into the operating room. "Let's get a few more." Andy almost laughed at himself. Scott was now dead, and now Rhonda and George Becker were without a son.

Dr. Andy Yablonski was without a patient – who had more been like a protégé, a friend. Andy and Scott shared something in common. They both were screw-ups. Andy had a second chance. Scott didn't. The words whispered in Andy's ears again. "You know what, Andrew, you can hear the wake up call or walk away." A wave of emotion threatened to overwhelm the attending, and he felt the beginning of tears sting his eyes. What a waste.

Andy barely heard Lisa speak. "It's time like these when you wished hospitals served alcohol." He glanced up, and gazed at the small blonde beauty before him. He chuckled, but the laugh wasn't his at all. Andy was still in his thoughts as Lisa sat in a chair next to him. He sighed, noting that she waiting for an explanation. After all, he had been the one that had told her not to get close to her patient, Dylan, three weeks ago. He sighed and decided to speak.

"I've lost patients before." He took a deep breath. "You can't do this kind of work, and not lose patients, they're all so close to death." Andy paused, raw emotion spilling out from his voice. "But Scott...he was turning it all around. He was turning it all around, but he didn't have enough time. Makes me want to walk away and not do this work ever again." Andy felt defeated, as if a spear had pierced right through his living heart. He painstakingly remembered the anguished faces of Rhonda and George Becker. He wondered if his nameless parents, if they were alive, would have acted the same way when the doctor informed them that their teenage son didn't make it out of surgery. If he was given the chance, Andy would have rather died from getting beaten to death as a teen than what Scott went through.

He was aware of a warmer and smaller hand wrapping around his. Andy looked up, noticing that Lisa's smaller hand was entwined into his. "You should get some rest before your meeting," she stated simply. Their eyes locked, and almost immediately, his heart pounded. It was the same feeling that he had felt so long ago to another person. Rena… he remembered. Andy was sixteen at the time, an unwanted and abused youth, and a robber, a talented one at that. How different he and Rena were from their hated youth. He was now a doctor. She, a detective. Their "marriage," that had survived twenty-eight years, was broken.

Andy looked into Lisa's eyes again. She understood. She understood his pain. And she understood that she wanted him as much as he wanted her…ever since Andy had tried to kiss her weeks ago.

Later, feeling Lisa's bare skin against his own, feeling her passionate kisses across his own body, kissing her fondly, and feeling his erection, Andy Yablonski realized that he hadn't felt this way for a long time. Seventeen years since the thrill of touching Lisa Reed's smooth skin ever matched to prowling through the night as a robber.

But this time, he had no regrets.