Soul Nomad Evangelion: Gig is a Dick.

(three days before the Fourth Angel's attack, inside a gunmetal gray storage room...)

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Misato?" Shinji asked, unsure of what Misato had just finished telling him.

"Trust me! It's just training to help you get used to using the progressive Knives!" Misato said cheerfully.

Shinji eyed the weird-looking black sword Misato was offering him with suspicion. "But…why use…that?"

Misato scratched the back of her head. "Well, we don't have any practice knives around, So I kinda…had to use what I could find. Besides, it's just to get you used to the…i..dea. Idea! Yeah, it's just to get you used to the ideaof holding a weapon until the real ones show up. Okay?"

"O…okay. So…I hold it like-Gah!" Shinji yelled, as a black glow jumped from the sword into him. It vanished as quickly as it appeared, and Shinji fell to the floor in a heap.


Shinji awoke with a start, only to find himself floating in a black void. "…What just…?"

"Ahahahahaha! Finally! It's good to be back!" Laughed a rough voice. Shinji spun around, scared of who might be here with him.

"Wh-who are you?" Shinji asked fearfully, staring at the striking young man in front of him. The black pants, shoes, and the greyish vest with a green broach in it made the man look somewhat normal, but the rest of his attire wiped that impression out. With ashen hair, black bangles on his wrists, two massive bluish shoulder pads sticking out like veined wings and a maniacal grin on his pale face, the young man in front of Shinji looked positively terrifying.

The man shrugged, his shoulder pads bouncing slightly. "Me? Oh, just the most hardcore ass-kicker to ever walk the planet, that's all. The destroyer of everything! The commander of the World Eaters! But hell, you can call me 'Gig'."

"World Eaters?" Even through his all-consuming terror, Shinji still had enough brainpower left to be confused.

The young man's ever present grin twisted into a snarl, like he had just tasted something unpleasant. "What? You don't know what the World Eaters are? Man, you're…" The man trailed off, before shutting his eyes in concentration. "…Hang on…What the hell? Where are they?" The man snarled, the veins on his shoulder pads pulsing a bright purple. "...Geh, so they managed to get themselves killed. Oh well. Just means more fun for me, now that I've got you!" Gig shrugged, turning back to Shinji, his grin returned.

"Wh-what are you planning to do?" Shinji cried fearfully, backing away from the terrifying boy.

Gig chuckled. "Man, I haven't even done anything yet and I feel right at home….Do you seriously not get it? I'm taking over your body, dumbass!" Gig declared, advancing on Shinji with a toothy grin.

"No, I won't let you!" Shinji declared, his voice wavering. This declaration seemed to stop Gig in his tracks. Huh? That worked?

Gig put a hand to his forehead and sighed. "Dammit, why can't this ever be easy... Okay, look. We have to make a deal before I can use your body. Once we've done that, you can command power totally unknown to the average peon. And if you need more, then you can call on me! I'll lend you all the powers of a god…for a price. The more of my power you use, the more control I get over your body. You scratch my back, I crush yours. Pretty awesome, huh?" Gig spread his arms, his smile widening into an ear-to-ear grin.

"…I don't need you." Shinji said resolutely, silently hoping that this was just a bad dream.

Gig's face fell for a moment, before regaining a slight grin. "Well, do what you want. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me…ahahahahahahaha!" Gig continued to laugh as Shinji's vision darkened, and he fell unconscious.


"…inji-kun! Shinji-kun!"

Shinji opened his eyes, looking around the room as his vision cleared up. He was lying on the floor, and Misato was kneeling next to him, looking at him worriedly.

"Mrrrgh…Misato?" He slowly got up, his whole body feeling stiff and sore. It almost looked like Misato was crying.

"Oh, thank god you're all right! I thought you-"

"Whoa-ho! Seems I didn't give you enough credit, kid! At least you've got good taste in floozies." Shinji clamped a hand over his mouth as Misato stood bolt upright and looked around the empty room.

"Who's there?" Misato commanded, her gun drawn.

"Hello! I'm right here, you stupid floozy!" Gig laughed mockingly.

Misato spun back around. That came from behind me, and there's no one else here except me and…"Sh-shinji-kun? Did you say that?" Misato asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"No, the walls did! God, just how dumb are you? Hey kid, check and see if those are real!" Gig commanded mockingly, Shinji's mouth moving in time with his words.

"They are real, you jackass!" Misato yelled, anger replacing the concern she felt for her ward.

"Oh really? They look a little saggy to me…" Gig replied flippantly, enjoying the sight of Misato's steadily reddening face.

"Th-They do not sag!" Misato said hotly. "I don't have to take this from you, Shinji!"

"Really? Cause it looks to me like 'taking' is the only thing you're good at." Gig replied.

"WHAT!" Misato yelled, her face moving on from red and into purple. She took a deep breath, ready to shout the insolent Third Child out of the room, when a thought struck her. Okay, hang on. People don't just do a 180 personality flip for no reason. Which means…The sword did something to him. Maybe it possessed him? Which means…It might be an Angel in disguise!

Shinji chose that moment to attempt retaking his body from Gig, expecting a mighty struggle with the foul-mouthed intruder. It was quite a surprise when he learned that Gig's hold over his body was about as strong as a wet piece of paper.

"Um…mi-Misato?" He ventured.

Misato looked up, apprehension written all over her face. "Oh…Are you Shinji…or….?"

Don't tell her anything!

"Um….The guy inside me said his name is Gig."

What did I just say?

Shinji tried to ignore the mildly irritated voice in his head. "And he's the commander of the 'World Eaters', whatever those are."

Okay, seriously kid, you suck. Shinji had the distinct feeling that Gig, if he had his own body, would be sulking in a corner right now.

Misato looked thoughtful. "I see. Shinji, it's possible that the…'thing' inside you is an Angel."

Shinji looked slightly terrified at that realization. "Wh-what? Then, what should I do?" he asked, feeling a horrible uncertainty descend upon him.

Misato opened her mouth only to be interrupted by Nerv's intercom squawking to life. "Would the Third Child please report to Dr. Akagi for a Sync Test?"

Misato and Shinji looked at each other, feeling a bubbling pit of dread open up inside them. "…oh." Shinji finally got out. He turned to the door, and began walking woodenly towards it, Misato following right behind. "M-Maybe Dr. Akagi'll know how to fix this?" Shinji said hopefully.

Aw, sick of me so soon? Tough shit. I'm sticking around whether you like it or not. Hahahahaha! Gig countered, laughing the entire way to Dr. Akagi's office.


Dr. Ritsuko Akagi sighed. "Misato, what did we say about you coming in to work drunk?" the tired blonde scientist said reproachfully.

"I'm serious! Shinji's been possessed or something!" Misato's pointed at Shinji, and he nodded vigorously.

Like I'd willingly possess this loser. First chance I get, I'm ditching this body for a new one.

"Riight. Possessed."

"No, really! The ghost even started insulting me!" Misato's voice was getting increasingly desperate.

Oh yeah. That was fun. I should do that again sometime.

"Alright, Misato. I'll humour you." Ritsuko's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Alright then, Maya? We'll check for mental contamination. And if we don't find anything, you drop this, okay?" Ritsuko turned away from Misato and began to instruct Maya.

"…Fine Ritz." Misato grumbled, incensed that her best friend would just brush her off like that. She turned to Shinji, only to find the boy sporting a mile-wide smug grin…that vanished the instant Ritsuko turned back around.

"Alright Shinji, could you come over here for a moment? Just stand in the chamber, this won't take more than a few seconds."

This…isn't gonna be pleasant, is it?

"…Alright, Dr. Akagi." Shinji followed the doctor out of the room.


A few minutes later, Ritsuko came back, followed by a seemingly unperturbed Shinji.

"Welp, we didn't find anything, Misato. Perhaps you were hallucinating? " Ritsuko smirked, enjoying the sight of Misato fuming impotently.

"…Shut up, Ritz." Misato grumbled, only to blanch as Shinji leaned out from behind Ritsuko, grinning and waving.

"Hmmm? Are you all right, Misato? Do you need to see a psychiatrist?"

"…Dammit Ritz, I'm telling you, he's got an Angel running around in his head! It just hid during the test!"

"Really? So all of NERV's long range sensors, not to mention the ones inside the base, plus the test I just did, can't hold a candle to your Angel-detecting skills?"

I like this woman already.

"I'm serious, Ritz! It's incredibly dangerous to put him in the EVA when he's-"

Dr. Akagi raised her hand, silencing Misato. "Misato, as much as I enjoy these wonderful conversations with you, the joke's wearing a little thin."

"Dr. Akagi, she's…not joking." Shinji offered helpfully.

Really? Cause I gotta say, this is hilarious.

"The evidence says otherwise, Shinji." Ritsuko said, before her lips curled into a slight smile. "Then again, you wouldn't believe some of the excuses she made in college-"

"Dammit, Ritz! I'm not lying!" Misato yelled, pounding her fist on Ritsuko's desk.

…I can't tell if this is funny or sad. Hmm…Nope, it's funny. Ahahahahaha!

Ritsuko was nonplussed. "So you say." Shaking her head in disbelief at Misato's antics, Ritsuko got up and walked over to Shinji. "Anyway, we need to start the Sync Test with Unit-01. Come with me, Shinji." She beckoned.

"…Yes, ." Shinji added, dreading what would happen if he got inside the plug with an extra 'passenger'.

I just don't get why he's keeping quiet now. I mean, he was certainly talkative on the way here...

Well, that's easy to…to…huh. Wellll, looks like this place isn't as worthless as I thought...


"Setting plug depth…."Maya rattled off steps, her hands flying over her keyboard.

Standing at the back of the room, Ritsuko turned to Misato and grinned slightly. "And you thought there would be problems, Misato." Ritsuko said smugly, enjoying Misato's venomous glare.

". Report." Squawked a speaker on her computer.

Ritsuko turned from Misato and tapped a button on her desk. "We've just begun the test, commander, and so far-" Ritsuko began.

"Holy shit, kid! You bathe in blood as a job requirement? This place is awesome!"

Everyone in the command center stopped what they were doing and looked up to the big screen. "…?" Ritsuko's gaze flicked over to Misato, who was standing there with a smug 'I told you so' grin. "Um…Shinji…Are you alright in there?" Ritsuko asked slowly.

Gig wisely kept silent, but his response was clear as day to Shinji. Oh yeah, it's great in here! Sittin here, bathin' in the blood of the innocent…hell, the only thing that could make this better is something to kill! The command staff watched as Shinji's face twisted into an entirely too wide grin.

"…Um….Maya…What's his Sync rate right now?" Ritsuko asked slowly, trying very hard to supress a shudder at Shinji's terrifying grin.

"We…haven't started yet, Sempai." Maya replied, her eyes still fixed on the image of Shinji's manic grin.

"Doctor. Begin the test."Squawked Ritsuko's computer, scaring the hell out of everyone in the room.

Ritsuko needed only a second to regain her composure. "But Commander! The pilot is clearly mentally unstable! It would be inadvisable-" Ritsuko said, straining to keep her tone civil.

"This shift in personality can only make him more useful. Begin the Sync test." As distorted as Gendo's voice was, there was no disobeying thattone.

Ritsuko's shoulders slumped. "…Yes, sir." Ritsuko said, turning to Maya and nodding.


(Within Unit-01's Entry Plug, 3 hours later)

Shinji had managed to wrest control of his face back once Gig had realized that no one in the command center was paying attention to his antics anymore. Since then, Gig had started complaining nonstop about how boring the sync test was. Shinji had put up with it, waiting until Gig finally ran out of things to say.

That had been over an hour ago, and Gig hadn't said a word since. I guess I kinda have to agree with him though, it is kind of boring. It's probably even more boring for a…World Eater…like him. Come to think of it, what is a World Eater? His curiosity piqued, Shinji decided to try talking to his 'passenger'.

Um…Mr….Gig, sir?

Mrh? What is it, kid?

Ummm….who are you?

What! Gig spluttered. Weren't you listening the first time? I'm the baddest of the bad! The maddest of the mad! The killer of kings and worlds! The-

I-I know all that. Shinji interrupted, almost feeling Gig's irritation at being silenced.

Then why'd you ask? I know it's boring as shit in here, but asking about stuff you already-

I meant…Well, you said you were the commander of the 'World Eaters', right? So, does that mean you're one yourself?

The hell kind of question is that? I'm the Master of Death! The commander of the World Eaters. Those guys carve a path of destruction and death across the world. All your pitiful works of civilization are as nothing to a World Eater. As for me? I'm above those guys.

Master of Death? Does that mean you're the… Shinji floundered for an example that the otherworldly Gig would understand. …Grim Reaper or something?

You know, I'm not actually sure. I might be, considering all the peons I've killed. Or maybe it's because I don't bother with any pansy-ass abilities that don't kill people. It almost felt like Gig was shrugging, despite not having shoulders.

"Oh…"

The plug fell silent again. Shinji had the distinct feeling that Gig really didn't know the answer, and was making it up as he went.

"Beginning Desynchronization…" the Plug's internal speaker called out.

"…Hey, kid." Gig called out, breaking the silence within the Plug.

"…Um…yes…?" Shinji responded carefully. What's he want now?

"Are the walls in this thing supposed to look like a rainbow?" Gig asked pointedly.

"Um…No?" Shinji responded, confused by Gig's odd question.

"Huh. Cause they're lookin kinda-aaAAAAAAAAGH!" Gig began, only to segue straight into a scream.

"His sync rate just crashed to zero!"Maya cried out.

"…Shinji? Are you alright?"

Misato asked carefully.

"Yeah…I'm fine Misato." But I don't know what happened to Gig! Shinji actually felt rather concerned about what had happened. Though whether it was for Gig or the rest of NERV, even Shinji couldn't tell.

"Well, anyway Shinji, we just...uhh...Ritz?"

"Yeah?"

"Are the EVA's eyes supposed to be red?"

The radio cut out, leaving Shinji completely confused. Red? What does eye colour have to do with anything?

"…Well this is new."

...Oh.


Unit-01 had just been launched, to keep the thing from crushing everyone in the test chamber. Now it was rampaging around the city, flattening cars and leaving craters everywhere.

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! Unit 01 roared, in tune with the laughter of the soul within. These peons don't know who they're dealing with, do they? Well I think I'll be nice and refresh their memory! Hahahahaha!

"Please stop!" Shinji yelled unevenly, pressing against the command chair in fear as Unit-01 continued its rampage. He winced as it rammed through an apartment block. "PLEASE!" He cried, yanking on the control yokes in a futile attempt to control the rampaging monster.

Screw that noise! In case you forgot, I've been stuck in a sword for the past two hundred years! Gig mocked, before slamming a hand down on a city bus. You can run off like a little girl if you want, but I'm going to test out this new body! Gig laughed, the EVA stomping through a daycare center as if to punctuate his response.

"Why do you have to hurt all these innocent people, though?" Shinji yelled, hoping to at least make him stop and think for a second.

Gig's response was most disheartening. I'm the Master of Death, dumbass! Didn't the name tell you anything? Besides, I-…Huh? H-Hey! I didn't want to break that yet! Stop!

"Sync rate is rising rapidly! 90%! 150%? 300%!"

"Gig? What are you-" Shinji said, only to stop as the plug wall in front of him disappeared. He soon found himself standing on a featureless red plain, with Gig cursing and shouting only a few steps away.

"The damn thing's not listening to me! Work you piece of crap body!" Gig stomped the ground, cursing and ranting.

Thump…

Was that…a heartbeat?

"Eh? What the hell was that?" Gig paused in mid-rant and looked around, seemingly unaware of the fact that he had sunk a foot into the ground.

He's sinking…but, should I help him? I mean, he's a horrible person. He caused the deaths of all those innocent people! He used m…The Eva's hands to destroy Tokyo-3!

Thump….Thump…

"H-Hey! What the hell! Stop!" Gig yelled, attempting to pull himself out of the ground and failing, sinking up to his waist.

But…He said the Eva was destroying things without his command, so…The Eva itself might be just as bad as he is…and… does anyone really deserve to die like this? I…I…

THUMP….THUMP….

I can't let this happen!

"Gig!" Shinji yelled, unable to sit back and watch the scene unfold before him. Gig's head was already under, his outstretched hand the only part of him still sticking out of the smooth red plain. Shinji raced forward, grabbing Gig's hand and pulling as hard as he could. The red plain parted like a pool of water as Shinji pulled Gig out. However, Shinji had pulled a little too hard, and Gig slammed into Shinji, knocking the both of them to the floor, with Gig landing on top of Shinji.

"...Damn that was close…" Gig bit out, getting up off Shinji and beginning to check his extremities.

"A-Are you okay?" Shinji got up, and inquired carefully. Aside from Gig's missing shoulder pads and damaged clothing, he didn't exactly seem the worse for wear.

"…Barely. The damn thing almost ate me! I should snap this stupid robot in-Son of a bitch! It stole my power!"

System Message: Gig has lost his levels to Unit-01. And that's terrible.


Such power…And to think I was going to wait…Now, there's no need. With this power, humanity shall be reborn on another world, and I shall become an eternal testament to us all.

Now, to begin…


A roiling sphere of darkness rose over Tokyo-3, spreading out from the kneeling Unit-01 and enveloping everything in its path. People ran, for what little good it did them. It passed through buildings, the uncovered roofs crumbling and falling into the opaque blackness. Parents screamed as their children were consumed by the black cloud, some throwing themselves in after them.

To those who could see it coming, it was a truly terrifying sight. Like the bridge crew of NERV, who watched the security cameras dissolve into static as the wall of blackness covered them.

"Oh my god…what's happening?" Maya squeaked fearfully, frozen in terror at the spectacle she was witnessing.

"I don't know…Can you raise the pilot?" Misato asked, hoping against hope that the boy could somehow stop this.

"…We aren't getting a response. It's hard to say whether he's alive or dead right now."

"What of Unit-01 itself?" Ritsuko asked quickly, struggling to keep her fear from showing.

"We aren't getting any signals from it. It might as well have disappeared off the face of the planet. " Makoto said grimly.

"I see. Is there anything we can do to stop it?" Misato asked, already trying to figure out a plan.

"It's already consumed half the city. We have as much chance stopping this as you would trying to stop a train with your bare hands."

"So what? You want us to just sit here and wait for our deaths?"

"…That's the only thing we can do, Misato." Ritsuko admitted, sinking into a chair.

Misato slumped into a chair, her head in her hands. "Couldn't even die in a blaze of glory, huh? Just…snuffed out, like a flickering candle…" Misato laughed quietly.

"…If it's any consolation…I'm sorry for not believing you." Ritsuko stated, a twinge of regret in her voice.

Misato snorted. "Don't be. It's not like I was that convincing. I probably would've said the same things, in your position."

"Still…"

Misato waved her off. "…It's alright. Besides, we all did what our jobs said. We defeated the Angels, even if there was only one of them. Right?" She said, a false smirk on her face.

"It seems to have entered the Launch chutes, Ma'am." Makoto called out.

Makoto's statement was punctuated by the lights abruptly failing.

"…Damn." Misato swore, just as the emergency lights reactivated…for about five seconds.


This….isn't right….


"So, did you ever expect to die like this, Ikari?" Fuyutsuki stated, watching as the camera feed to the main command room dissolved into static.

Gendo didn't even bother looking up from his hands. "Did you?" he deadpanned.

Fuyutsuki chuckled. "Do you believe there could've been any other end for us?"

Gendo turned to Fuyutsuki. "Now that it's too late, you're going to philosophize? I didn't think you'd fall back on such old habits."

"It's not like I have anything else to do." Fuyutsuki stated tiredly, watching as the door at the end of the office vanished.

Both men fell silent, watching as the black wall inched forward, almost seeming like it was taunting them with its sluggish pace.

Gendo broke the silence, as the wall was merely a few feet away. "So everything ends here."

Fuyutsuki smirked. "Just like it was always going to, right?"

Gendo's only response was silence as the black wall swallowed both of them.


"So, wh-what just happened to us?" Shinji asked. The featureless red plain had stopped being scary a while ago.

Now it was just boring.

"I have no idea, kid. I think that mech of yours ate us or something….!" Gig said, only to turn sharply halfway through his sentence and squint into the distance.

"…Gig?"

"Seems we've got company, kid."

Shinji looked up. There was a shadowy figure in the distance, slowly walking towards them. With every step it took, it gained definition. First, its figure was revealed as female. Then, they could see it wearing a labcoat, and a short skirt. Finally, it was revealed to have short brown hair, and a face remarkably similar to Shinji's.

"Who the hell's this wench?"

The figure's head jerked up, surprise apparent on its face. "Sh-Shinji?" The woman asked slowly, before her face lit up in a bright smile. "Shinji!" the figure cried, rushing forward.

"…Mom? Mom!" Shinji said, before he began running forward, almost breaking into tears before Yui pulled him into a hug.

"Oh great. More mushy 'I missed you' crap. Count me out." Gig turned, and walked into the distance. "See if I can continue the story or something…"

"I missed you so much!" Yui cried happily, the tears flowing freely down her face and into her son's hair. Yui was completely unaware that her boy was being crushed in her over-enthusiastic grip.

"M-mom...you're…crushing…help!" Shinji squeaked out, hoping that his long-lost mother would hear him and let go. Unfortunately, he was currently being smothered by her, and as such, his call went unheard.

Thankfully, his prayer did not go unanswered.

"Sweet merciful crap! There's nothing left at all!" Gig's yell broke the hug. Yui looked around confusedly before focusing on the distant form of Gig.

"Wh-what? But, that can't be! I was supposed to be an eternal testament to humankind! There must be something left!" Yui called out, hoping that this 'Gig' person was lying to her.

"Nope! No stars, no planets…wow, you did a really thorough job! I'm almost jealous!" Gig laughed mockingly, taking pleasure in how Yui's face contorted in shock and horror. He began walking back towards Yui and Shinji, the evil grin on his face seemingly stretching wider and wider the closer he got. "As far as I can tell, you managed to destroy not only the planet, but the whole damn universe!" He started clapping for a moment, before stopping and grimacing. Wait, if everything's gone, then that means…Dammit!

"Wha….but…my dream….!" Yui spluttered, unwilling to believe that her lifelong goal had been so thoroughly crushed. "It can't be…Everything I've sacrificed…It's not fair!" Yui cried angrily.

"What? Are you seriously trying to play the victim? We can't even move on with the story because youdestroyed the world! And we can't even start over. Seriously, thanks a lot!" Gig said angrily, striding over to Shinji and folding his arms.

Shinji looked over to Gig, confusion written all over his face. "S-so now what?" He asked cautiously, trying to ignore his mother's heart-wrenching sobs.

Gig shrugged. "Well kid…It's going to be a looong eternity."

Fin.