Jade Harley was sitting on her bed, holding a bunny that she and her pen pal had recently built to send to her friend John Egbert. Suddenly, her computer rang out, signifying that someone was trying to contact her on Pesterchum, her preferred instant messaging client. She opened up Pesterchum and was surprised to find that the unknown chum was actually an internet troll. There were so many trolls out there, and they all seemed to specifically target her! Despite the annoyance, she decided to respond to the cyber bully.
cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] CC: Glub glub glub glub glub!
CC: Glub glub glub glub glub!
CC: )(ey, take it easy!
CC: I'm not )(ere to give you a )(ard time like my buddies )(ave been
GG: but youre a troll
GG: and thats what trolls do!
GG: even when they say they wont
GG: sometimes especially!
CC: Ok t)(en, you can be t)(e judge of t)(at. I won't be long!
CC: I've just come to say a couple t)(ings.
CC: None of t)(is is really your fault!
CC: T)(is is swimmingly obvious to everyone )(ere w)(o takes a glubbing moment to t)(ink about it rationally.
CC: W)(ic)( isn't many of us! But still.
What? What the hell? What was her fault? And what was up with all of the annoying fish puns? This was all so confusing.
GG: even though i still have no idea what youre talking about
CC: I mean, your lusus jumped rig)(t in t)(ere to save you!
CC: Just like mine did.
CC: Well ok, mine was dead at t)(e time. 38(
CC: And s)(e just kind of...
CC: F-ELL IN!
CC: Kinda drifted down like fis)(food, and POW, GL'BGOLYBSPRIT-E.
CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e)(e)(e)(. S)(e was so funny.
GG: whats a lusus!
CC: It's a big ol' monster custodian you grow up wit)(!
CC: S)(-E-ES)(, )(ow freaking retarded do you )(ave to be not to know somet)(ing like t)(at?
CC: I'm joking, of course. 38)
Jade did not like this at all. Was cuttlefishCuller really being sincere about this gobbledygook? It was so hard to tell and it made her feel very uncomfortable…
CC: I wanted to glub somet)(ing -ELS-E to you well before you started playing.
CC: Just to get t)(e idea in your )(ead!
CC: I am Feferi, by t)(e way. Abdicated empress to be!
Feferi? What kind of name was that? Not American, at least. Maybe it was Mongolian or something? Did they even have trolls in Mongolia? Why would the Princess of Mongolia be an internet troll anyway?
GG: ok feferi. what is it?
CC: Soon I will go to sleep and speak to t)(e gods.
CC: I will convince t)(em to establis)( a series of stable dream bubbles, w)(ere we can meet in our sleep!
Gods, Dream Bubbles…? What was this she didn't even… The confusion factor increased significantly as the conversation went on, and Jade continued to ask herself far too many questions for her own good. Though, given the strange circumstances, anyone would act as befuddled, she hoped.
GG: i dont understand
GG: whats a dream bubble?
CC: YOU'LL S-E-E! 38D
GG: feferi i thought you said you were going to stop using your typing quirk!
CC: Did I?
GG: i dont know... im sure i remember you said that
CC: Jade, t)(is is t)(e first time we )(ave ever talked!
CC: Isn't it?
Uh… Wait, what? _ Befuddled x2 Combo…
GG: yeah it is
GG: i dont know what i was thinking...
GG: i just had a major case of deja vu!
CC: W)(at's t)(at?
GG: i felt like we already had this conversation
GG: it still sort of feels that way
GG: its not going away :o
CC: Well, maybe we did!
CC: )(ey, by t)(e way.
CC: W)(at exactly are you doing t)(ere wit)( t)(at toy?
CC: You never did explain it to me!
GG: what do you mean i never explained it to you?
GG: if this really is the first time we talked, why would i have?
CC: Good point.
CC: Maybe I'm feeling it too.
CC: I )(ave... w)(at was it? Orca vu?
GG: feferi that one was a stretch even by your fish punnery standards
GG: aaah why do i know that you like to make fish puns?
GG: i do remember this conversation
GG: it was in the past!
GG: but if it was in the past, then where am i now?
CC: In the future! Duh.
GG: so what is going on?
GG: i dont think i am asleep...
GG: i am not on prospit
CC: Yes, you are asleep. But your dream self died, just like mine, remember?
CC: Now you don't dream about Prospit. You have normal dreams!
GG: so this is a dream?
CC: It is a dream, and a memory. It is the past, brought back to life by a witch! It's all those things.
CC: Although we are getting off the script here!
CC: This is not how the conversation originally went, obviously.
CC: You were a lot less patient with me! When I was just trying to ENCOURAGE you.
Ah, now it made much more sense. Jade began to finally remember all the things that happened in real life. She had just entered the medium after her best friend Bec prototyped himself and destroyed the meteor that was headed for her island. Everything went dark, but as she ascended into the incinisphere, she saw snow for the first time in her short life.
GG: i think
GG: i am in the game now, right?
CC: Hey, why don't you tell me about this cool robot bunny you we're making?
CC: I've been pretty glubbing curious about it!
CC: Mind if I take a look?
Feferi suddenly appeared in her bed next to her. The fishy troll grabbed the bunny and cuddled with it as they chatted right next to each other.
CC: It's great!
CC: Wish I could make something like this. Never had the gills for technology.
CC: Hard to work with under water!
GG: why are you here!
GG: are you asleep too?
CC: I woke up from my nap a while ago.
CC: Remember how I woke up and then messaged you? You had just had a bad dream!
CC: And I told you there was nothing to be scared of.
CC: Which there isn't!
GG: oh yeah
GG: i do remember that
GG: then why are you here now?
Feferi turned her head and looked into Jade's eyes. But something was wrong. She had no pupils. Blankly staring at Jade with a menacing smile, she finished their conversation and Jade's dream.
CC: Because, stupid.
CC: I'M D-EAD!
Jade woke up. She needed to stop falling asleep...
Jade hopped out of bed. For some reason, her bed was floating several meters in the air, and was also outside. But that didn't matter. All her attention was focused on the blanket of white that had appeared all over her previously tropical island. The snow was quite deep, all the way up to her waist, and the snowfall was still continuing. She scanned the area and gazed in awe at this frozen wonderland. It was just… vast. There was no other word to describe it. Not colorful, no particular emotions to describe it, just vast and covering everything. Green and yellow auroras also streaked across the sky playfully, but something was just a bit unsettling about them.
Jade realized that she left her computer back at the tower. She had wanted to contact John, but she lacked any communication devices whatsoever. This was bad. Being caught without a computer is one of the worst possible actions. What if some grimdark monster suddenly wants to attack you and you're too weak to fight back, but you have no way of getting help? You're screwed, that's what. She had to climb up to the atrium immediately-
Good thing her grandpa had taught her to carry her rifle at all times, because something nefarious was stalking her and was readying itself for a sneak attack. It was time for a…..
Trying her best to aggrieve this imp, she rapidly fired several shots. Apparently, these mooks had obtained Bec's teleportation abilities, as they suddenly transported to several different locations across the incinisphere. She paid little attention to the scenery as she blasted away, trying to concentrate during heat of the strife, but the stupid thing wouldn't die! A few minutes of useless ammo depleting, they were back where they started, area-wise, and absolutely no farther, progress-wise.
Bec finally decided to draw the strife to a close. He created a nuclear explosion on the imp. Good dog. Best friend.
Time to advance on the echeladder! This was Jade's first level-up, so she advanced from the measly Greentike rung to the somewhat more respectable Kiddo Eclipse rung. Not much better, but hey, at least it was something. She would have gotten more experience if she was actually able to kill the imp herself. She'll try to do that next time. In the meantime…. Oh no! She forgot to thank her best friend!
"Thanks Bec! Good boy!" she told her dog. Now that he was a sprite, his power had increased immensely, which was hard to fathom considering his near-omnipotence before being prototyped in the first place! She had noted from her time as Dave's server player that sprites could also talk to their respective player via a mysterious form of communication called the "Sprite Log". Definitely not a way to avoid text bubbles… Wait huh… Jade had no idea what sensation just came over her… Less meta, more talking-to-Becsprite-ta!
Sprite Log- Jade Harley and Becsprite
JADE: can you talk now?
JADE: what do you have to say
After several seconds of intense gamma radiation dosage, Jade had realized that being able to talk to Bec was not a complete benefit. She would try to keep conversations with her sprite to a minimum from then on…