A/N: First Supernatural fic!
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, unfortunately.
"Well?" Dean demands.
"Well?" Gabriel says back, opening one eye lazily.
"Why haven't you smited them so that we can get the hell out of here?" Dean snaps.
"I'm not your attack dog," Gabriel sniffs.
Sam can see a muscle in Dean's jaw twitch.
He's standing there with blood dripping down the rather deep and certainly painful gash on his arm, watching his brother and an archangel bait each other, and there's nothing he can do but breathe deeply and resist the urge to lose his temper. There's already enough testosterone to go around without him reverting to a teenager with something to prove as they seem to whenever they're around each other. So basically, most of the time, now that Gabriel has for whatever reason joined the so-called Team Free Will. Sam wonders mournfully when he'll get used to it so that he can start tuning them out.
"And it's smote, not smited," Gabriel says with a smirk.
"Gabe," Sam says hurriedly, because he needs to intervene before his brother's head explodes. And then Cas will probably blame him for not keeping them under control while he's away. It's not like it's his fault. He doesn't have any angel powers. Quite the opposite in fact, but he's over that and he's not sure if anything short of that is going to keep them from killing each other any longer.
Gabriel turns to give him an affectionate grin, "Yeah Sammy?"
"Can you just," he flaps his hands at the monsters that are trying to get free of the traps, "so that we can go before I die of blood loss or something?"
"You know I'd never let that happen! Who else am I supposed to spend every day and all my nights with?" Gabriel says with a flourish and a long, slow rake of his eyes over Sam's body.
Against his will, Sam blushes.
Dean notices and lunges at Gabriel.
"Stop eying my brother," he shouts.
"Make me, Dean-o," Gabriel singsongs.
Sam sighs as the sniping begins again and tries to figure out how Cas always keeps them under control. He doesn't think anyone could for Gabriel, so it must be Dean he does his 'angel mojo' on. Unfortunately for Sam, this mostly comes in the form of kissing his brother senseless.
"Sammy!" Gabriel admonishes, looking disturbingly delighted at what his peeping into Sam's mind had gotten him this time. "What a dirty mind you have! No wonder I like you so much."
"What? No! No, what the hell Gabriel?" Sam shouts.
"What!" Dean demands. "What's he thinking of?"
Don't you dare tell him, Sam thinks threateningly at the archangel.
Who promptly ignores him. "Why, kissing you! 'Kissing you senseless' in fact. Is this why you're so annoyed about Sam and me? You don't have to be jealous you know. We can always have a threesome."
Sam turns beet red.
Dean looks like a fish, his mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out.
"I don't want to kiss Dean," Sam hisses at Gabriel.
And this, of course, was when Cas chose to appear.
He looks at Dean's gaping expression, Gabriel's amused smirk, and Sam's red face, and demands menacingly, "Who wants to kiss Dean?"
Sam groans and wishes he would just lose consciousness already.