I kinda scared myself writing this. o.O This has just been an idea floating around in my head for a while. I know the whole crowbar theme isn't very original, but the whole Painting the Roses Red theme is. It seems like something Joker would do. *Shrugs* Anyway, it's crappy, I did it in fifteen minutes, and it's two hours past my bedtime. Tell me if it sucks, okay?

"I'm painting the roses red, I'm painting the roses red!" Joker chimed as he brought the crowbar down on one of the six lifeless forms now huddled at his feet. At this point, the teens were so crumpled and bloody that it would be impossible to tell which one. Said figure flinched and let out a shrill screech. It might have been Artemis.

"Stop!" Another one cried. Kid Flash. "Stop this… please…" The Joker only replied by giggled manically and smacking the bar against Wally's head with a sickening crack. Wally didn't say anything else.

I dare not stop, or waste a drop, so let the paint be spread…

"See, now, children, THIS is art," The Joker stated matter-of-factly. "You are the roses, my little crowbar is the paintbrush, and your blood… is none other than the red paint." He erupted into that awful uncontrollable laughter and whacked Superboy just as the clone began to stir. Which usually wouldn't have any effect, but of course, this crowbar was infused with kryptonite. Where he got a crowbar infused with kryptonite, they had no idea. Joker most likely had it custom-made at 'Maiming Devices-R-Us'.

"Oh, painting the roses red, and many a tear I shed! Because I know you'll cease to grow, and soon-" He struck Aqualad. "You'll-" Miss Martian. "All-" Kid Flash. "Be-" Artemis. "Dead!" Robin.

Of course, he made sure to hit the Boy Wonder extra-hard, for Batsy's sake. Cue insane laughter.

"The Bat, he likes 'em red. If he saw white instead… he'd raise a fuss, and each of us-" Joker chuckled. "Well, just me, actually-"

"Would surely lose his head. Too bad you lost that a long time ago, Joker." Out of the dark shadows came a spinning batarang. It lodged itself between Joker's eyes and he dropped like an anvil. Blood trickled from the unconscious man's forehead, slowly, ever so slowly, dripping down, pooling in the mouth molded into the ever-present mental grin.

Robin looked up just in time to see a black cape, that familiar cape that always assured him everything would turn out okay. He let himself slip into unconsciousness, smiling slightly, because when Dick felt the strong hands lift him up… He knew that he and his friends were safe now.


"How is everyone?" Robin inquired, silently gazing at the heart monitor on his right. It had been two days since the… accident, and Robin still had no news on his friends' condition.

"Aqualad and Superboy have only a few major wounds, nothing serious though. Miss Martian broke multiple bones and suffered tremendous blood loss. Kid Flash had surgery yesterday; the doctors say he'll be all right. Artemis went into surgery twenty minutes ago. Joker's been tucked away in Arkham for the time being. And as for you… You have twelve fractures. Concussion. Internal bleeding. In other words, you've had worse." The corner of Batman's mouth tilted upwards halfheartedly.

"I was wondering why I hurt so much." Dick slowly and painfully sat up against the white cotton pillow. Looking Batman in the eye, he suddenly became very stoic and serious. "Bruce, promise me one thing."


"Burn our copy of Alice In Wonderland."

There. I had to add my little spit of humor at the end.

Please review, tell me if I had any punct. or spelling errors. Also tell me if this was actually a decent idea, and if I portrayed it well. TY!

Lots o' love,


Reviews=epilogue? another one-shot? (I swear, I have a bajillion ideas in this crazy head of mine.)