Adam pushes Tommy gently through the door, closing it silently behind them.
"On the bed Tommy and lose the shirt." Tommy shoots him a glare.
"You're sure you know how to do this? You won't make it worse?"
Adam smirks. "Would I ever bullshit you about a thing like that?"
Tommy tugs the shirt over his head and a small whiney sound escapes his lips. Damn it!
"That bad, huh?"
"Yeah, it fucking hurts!"
"Lose the jeans too." Tommy look at Adam, one eyebrow rose. Because sarcasm is the best self-defense ever and Adam sure as hell doesn't need to find out about Tommy's dumbass `falling in love with your best friend´ thing. Adam chuckles at his expression.
"Keep the briefs on please." Tommy flips him a finger and walks over to the bed; he looks at Adam and then the bed.
"Go on, it won't bite you. I'll just get the massage oil." Adam's tender laugh makes Tommy's lips curl.
It isn't the bed that intimidates him, but the fact that Adam insists that he can make the pain in Tommy's back and shoulders go away. Tommy isn't too sure about that or the whole idea about Adam's hands on his 'naked' body, the thought is disturbing at the best. Maybe he should just work up a pair of balls big enough to tell Adam that. But damn it, the last thing he wants is to see that hurt puppy face if he did. So instead he decides to suck it up and take it like a man. He will talk to Lane about the ache later if this doesn't help, which it won't. And he will ignore the living hell out of the need that is threatening the best fucking friendship – ever.
Tommy slowly bends down to take off his boots and pants, the pain in his shoulders and back shoot through him. He grits his teeth and lets out a hiss. It takes some effort but he gets it all off without making any loud noises of hurt. Sweat is breaking out on his forehead, fuck this is bad. Like really bad.
Tommy is used to pain, practicing with the guitar hours a day and concerts at night naturally make him ache. It is normal and a small price to pay for doing what he loves. But sleeping in a bus and one really bad move had taken this ache further than ever before. Oh yeah, that hair whipping probably didn't help either, but a guy is allowed some fun, right?
Adam returns from the bathroom, carrying a small bottle and a towel. An amused look dominates his face.
"Well baby, I can't work my wonders on you if you don't lie down."
Tommy tries to send Adam a corky smile, but fails miserably. Adam take a closer look at Tommy and concern takes over the amusement.
"Tommy?... Oh, boy this is really killing you! Why didn't you say something sooner?"
Tommy shrugs, ouch! Bad decision, the kind that almost brings tears up. Fuck!
Tommy gets down on the bed and slowly fidgets with himself to get comfortable on his stomach; he uses his arms as a pillow.
He closes his eyes and tries to block the thought of Adam's hands on his hurting back, or at least block the erotic thought of Adam's fingers on his sensitive skin. Not that he succeeds at that but at least he tries.
"You're good?" Adam asks.
"Uh hmm." a little more than good but no point in saying that!
"Um… okay, so I'm gonna get on the bed too and I'll put a leg on both sides of your hips, don't worry, I won't make your poor back carry my weight." Adam said, talking himself through this as much as Tommy.
Why the hell he suggested this was beyond him. Fucking self-torture. Giving a massage to the man you secretly are in love with. Oh and could never be with because he doesn't bat for your team. How fucked up is that?
"I'll start with your neck and work down your back…"
Adam carefully moves until he is positioned the way he told Tommy he would. He looks at the lines of Tommy's body, and takes it all in. The sharp edge of the shoulders, to the lean muscles and pale skin.
"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and get on with it wonderboy." Harsh words, but said in such an affectionate tone that it pulls a smile, that would've made the sun envious, from Adam.
"Aww you're sweet talking me, how cute is that?" Adam laughs as he uncaps the bottle and lets the oil run into a palm. He puts the bottle away and warms the oil between his hands. A rather feminine sent fills the room.
Tommy closes his eyes and inhales it, locking his thoughts on defining the sent, instead of the tingling anticipating of Adam's hands on his back.
"Lavender! Adam! Really? I'm not a fucking chick." Adam's soft laugher rumbles in his chest and Tommy feels it in his own body, like tiny shock waves. Not in a bad way, at all. It just makes Tommy ache in far more interesting places than his back.
"Massage oils are supposed to smell like that. Doesn't make you any less masculine."
"If you say so," Tommy frowns. The banter helps. Distracts.
"I do." Tommy has to smile at that. Not that Adam can see, but Tommy knows that Adam will know he is smiling, so it doesn't matter.
"Okay, tell me if it gets too much. And please try to relax as much as possible. Can you do that?"
"Sure." Tommy bits his lip, willing himself to relax.
Adam puts his oil covered hands on Tommy's shoulders and lets them run over his abused muscles. Up to the neck, ever so lightly, testing how much pressure Tommy can take.
"Hmm." Tommy feels the heat from Adam's slick hands and bits down on a moan. Damn it. Tommy has no fucking idea what to do with this want, need and fucking love. How do you go from being best friends to this without fucking everything up? Since Tommy doesn't have an answer for that, he decides to let it be and ignore the shit out of it.
Adam lets his hands work down Tommy's spine but stops where the shoulder blades end, thumbs firmly circling. Tommy whimpers, but doesn't ask Adam to stop. Because yeah! Adam really does have magical hands. And this isn't too bad. In so many ways.
Slowly Adam's hands loosen up Tommy's sore shoulders, muscles, and neck. Putting pressure on all the right places. Tommy feels like he is melting under Adam's hands and slowly seeping into the mattress. It feels incredible and small sounds of pleasure, that he isn't even conscious about making, pours from him. He feels how his body relaxes for the first time in days and sighs in relief.
"That good, huh?" Adam has to focus on something else because those small relatively innocent sounds have a direct line to his libido; talking instead of listening seems to be a good idea.
"Hmm." Tommy's voice is muffled from speaking into his arms. Adam almost beams.
"Smug bastard." Tommy says in a soft voice, it almost comes out as a sigh.
"You don't think I can feel that? That huge smile on your face for being right? Again!"
"You know me so well." Adam chuckles.
"I do, now focus. My back still hurts." That and Tommy really needs Adam's touch, craves it. He is so fucked.
"Yeah?" Adam hands goes from firmly messaging to tenderly caressing Tommy's back without Adam really noticing it; he just loses himself in the sensation of Tommy's muscles and soft skin.
"Say please." Tommy smiles and obeys.
Feathery light touches run over Tommy's skin, making him tremble and bite his lips hard to suppress the arousal that's running in his blood.
Adam repositions himself so it is easier to massage Tommy's back and he pours out some more oil, but this time he doesn't warm it first, he pours it directly onto Tommy's back, making Tommy squirm.
"Fuck Adam. That shit's cold."
"I know, just making sure you're not falling asleep." And trying not to read too much into the sweet sounds coming from Tommy.
"You love me."
"Hmm, now please work your magic." Tommy closes his eyes again and surrenders to the feeling of Adam's magical fingers.
"Oh god Tommy! No wonder you're hurting, you're tense. How long have you been aching?" Adam sounds like he is the one in pain. He focuses on the knot in question. Tommy squirms a bit.
"Since forever and I know! I should probably have done something about it days ago, so please don't go all mother hen on me!" Tommy sounds exhausted.
"Then just promise me not to let it go so far next time Tommy. Maybe we should make it a habit to do this after a concert. I can't afford you to go down because I'm pushing you too far."
"You're not! I made a wrong move that's all and I didn't do something about it right away. My fault not yours."
"But if you're…"
"Shut up Adam!" Adam is silent for a while, trying to concentrate only on making Tommy feel better. But millions of thoughts run through his head. Things like how Tommy feels under him, pliant and buttery. The curve off his back and….how he would taste like if he licked along that curve. How he would sound like if he did just that. Stupid things all out of reach but so hard to give up on. Adam let out a deep sigh.
"Fine, but I'm getting you a massage after concerts now and if you don't want me to do it, we'll find someone else, like a gorgeous female in a uniform."
"Yeah, you would love that wouldn't you?"
"Who wouldn't? But it isn't necessary; you're doing a fine job."
Adam keeps silent and lets his hands do the talking, fingers working those stressed muscles and chasing the pain away, until the sounds coming from Tommy aren't painful whines and growls, but small moans, sighs and tiny whimpers of pleasure. Those sounds messes with Adam much more that he wants to admit and the way he touches Tommy changes again even though Adam isn't completely aware of it. His hands have a will of their own, moving only to pull those mesmerizing sounds from Tommy's lips. Adam shifts a little because an ache of his own begins to demand attention. Damn he is hard, so fucking hard. And it is pretty damn impossible to hide when he has Tommy between his thighs. It isn't anything new, that Adam gets hard around Tommy, but sitting on his haunches straddling Tommy while the guy is almost naked, probably pushes the whole laid back kinda thing that Tommy is always working a bit too far, Adam is sure of it.
Meanwhile Tommy tries desperately to think about anything else other than Adam and those damn talented hands of his, but isn't succeeding. At all. He ponders a little about how to move without it being obvious that the reason for rearranging is because he is turned on as hell.
Adam's hands are on the small of Tommy's back when Tommy shivers noticeably.
"You cold?" asks Adam in a hoarsely voice.
Tommy moves as if he isn't comfortable, his ass brushing against Adam's erection, making both men hitch their breath. WOW. Right there, Tommy is god damn sure, that is Adam's hard dick nudging him in the ass. He swallows. Not sure what to do about it. Should he say something? Act on it or just pretend it didn't happen. Where the fuck are they supposed to go from here? Tommy's mind is spinning because ever since Tommy began to feel all these stupid feelings, things have changed, shifted. Tommy isn't about to let go off the best fucking thing that ever happened to him for a fuck, no matter how earth shattering it might be. He would fuck it up, he fucking knows it. But this isn't good either. Tip toeing around each other, it just isn't them so maybe they needs to talk it over, soon. Like now? Before things get seriously out of hands. Tommy sighs.
"Um.. no, are you done?" Tommy's voice is tiny and sharp. Adam tilts his head and moves his hands away from Tommy's back because there is a plea in Tommy's voice that pulls at Adam's heartstrings.
"Tommy?... are you okay?" Well he didn't sound okay but Adam doesn't want to even think about Tommy realizing that he is so turned on, just by giving a back rub, that he seriously thinks that he is gonna cream his pants like a fucking teen if Tommy touches his junk again.
"Yeah, but maybe this wasn't our brightest idea ever." Tommy moves a bit under Adam again and Adam feels his dick twitch. He grits his teeth and as easy as possible, he crawls off the bed; thanking every god he can think of, that Tommy is on his stomach and can't see him.
"Um…I'll wash my hands and let you get dressed." Adam's voice is thick, the desire evident in it. The sound of it makes Tommy frown a bit, this conversation is one he isn't ready for and probably never will be. But Tommy is the kind of guy that goes in head first, and sees where the fuck he ends up.
"Yeah, and then we need to talk." his voice comes out ragged. Adam stops in his tracks, turning around and looks at Tommy. Tommy has rolled over and is almost sitting up. Adam's eyes run over Tommy's body and linger at his crotch and WHOA. Adam forces himself to look up. Tommy is biting his lower lip, keeping it between his teeth, but meets Adam's eyes with a steel like gaze. Making sure that Adam knows that Tommy saw exactly where Adam had his eyes fixed and that is why they fucking needs to talk.
"Talk?" Adam whispers.
Tommy eyes Adam as he goes into the bathroom; and mentally kicks himself in the ass, because Adam had looked like a rabbit caught in the headlight of a car going full speed towards it. He gets off the bed and stretches his back. Adam has loosened the muscles, allowing Tommy's back to pop. Tommy moans in relief. That was fucking wonderful. He feels like a new person again and locates his t-shirt, it will probably be better having this heart to heart while being dressed a bit more. After he puts the shirt on, he shoots his skinny jeans a glare while rearranging his junk, yeah not gonna happen! Adam just has to cope with him in his undies. Tommy sits down on the bed again, waiting for Adam to return. After a while Tommy gets off the bed and walks towards the bathroom, he softly knocks on the door.
"Adam?" Tommy listens.
"Yes?" the voice is muffled as if Adam has his head in his hands. Tommy shakes his head.
"You gonna hide forever? Coz that won't work, I'll still be here! So man up and talk to me."
"I know, but we have to, so open the door….please?"
The door opens and Tommy steps back, letting Adam have some space to get out. Adam brushes by him and starts pacing up and down the floor. Tommy follows but sits down on the bed again. Several times Adam stops, looks at Tommy and starts to pace again. Tommy is beginning to feel a little ridiculous. The next time Adam stops, Tommy pats the bed and in a firm voice says,
"Sit." Adam shrugs but does as told.
"Okay, so I will go first, that seems only fair….um.. Something has changed. And it is scaring the living daylights out of me, do you understand?" Adam looks down at his hands, not wanting to look at Tommy, but he nods.
"I mean when you are around me….. well… you turn me on…..and I kinda hate that."
"O..kay." Adam had that hurt puppy face now and Tommy hated himself. For a tough rockstar, Adam is so, so vulnerable and Tommy fucking knows that.
"No, that is so not what I mean….. Adam…. I'm not scared of the sex, it is not the idea about that that I hate; you wouldn't be the first so that is not it." Adam tore his eyes from his hands and stole a surprised glaze up at Tommy's face. Shock waves runs through him. The world as Adam knows it clearly must have ended. Not the first?
"Let me finish okay?" Tommy puts a finger on Adam's lips.
"You mean the world to me. And I can't risk that for anything…..what we have is amazing, I've never experienced anything like it, the way we just clicked. The connection with you is so strong and I'm not gonna let mine or your dick ruin that, I'm not! So we gotta find a way so work out around it okay?" Tommy moves his finger away and Adam misses it instantly. Tommy keeps his eyes locked in Adam's. Begging Adam to understand, when Adam doesn't say anything, Tommy nudges him with an elbow.
"Your turn…..say something Adam….anything." Adam tries desperately to wrap his head around what Tommy just told him.
"Not your first?" is the only thing coming out of his mouth. Tommy's eyes widen.
"Really, I just poured my fucking heart out and that is what you come up with? I take everything back!" Tommy tries to get off the bed because the frustration demands movement of some kind. Adam reaches out and hauls him right back.
"No seriously Tommy, you've been with a man before? I fucking need to get that one clarified." Tommy sends an annoyed look.
"Yes, I have…Is that gonna be a problem?"
"Hell yeah, it is."
"Because I based our whole friendship on the fact that you're straight. That you weren't available and now you're dropping this bomb on me. That you might have been. Available that is."
Tommy just looks at Adam, waiting for more.
"Tommy if I had known that you were bisexual I would have…I don't know….."
"Exactly! And we would have screwed that up or I would. Didn't you hear what I said? I. DON'T. WANT. THAT. Adam I really don't want to ruin this…" Tommy closed his eyes and swallowed hard.
"..this friendship. You mean too much to me."
"Are you saying that you love me Tommy Joe?" Adam had a rather mischievous look in his eyes.
"I thought I made that pretty obvious." Tommy palmed his head.
"For how long?"
"Donno. Six…eight month maybe longer. Does it matter? Coz it doesn't change a thing."
"Oh baby. It does. It totally does." Tommy raises his head and looks Adam in the eyes for a second before looking away again. Adam puts a finger under Tommy's chin and forces Tommy to return to his gaze.
"A bit longer for me." says Adam.
"I've loved you a bit longer than that Tommy. I just didn't think that it would ever happen….. you being straight. You have no idea what kinda hell it is when you're in love with someone that you think isn't seeing you."
"I do see you." Tommy whispers.
"Apparently you do." Adam smiles affectionately and pulls Tommy's face closer towards him and leans in for a kiss. Tommy yanks back.
"But…. Why? If…"
"Damn it Adam you used to listen when I said something. I told you that we need to work around it. That I didn't want to fuck it up, which means we're not doing this." Adam looked puzzled.
"So you love me …but don't want to be with me?"
"Yes…no. I want to but I don't want…..okay what happens when one of us - most likely me - fucks up? Huh? Then I will be without my best friend and possibly a job. Can't risk that. Sorry Adam, I just can't."
"Let me see if I get this straight…. You trust me right?"
"With my life."
"You're in love with me?"
"And it doesn't scare you away that I'm a dude?" Tommy chuckles.
"You've been with a guy before?"
"Which bring up all kinds of questions but the one I am dying to know the answer to is did you get fucked or did he?"
"You're one toppy bitch, you know that right?...I did." Adam swallows hard. He feels how his hands shake a little but he keeps going because well this is god damn important.
"You're scared off fucking things up?"
"And me leaving you behind?"
"Without a job?"
"In worst case scenario, yes."
"Hmf….I thought you knew me."
"Tommy Joe Ratliff I am a little offended. I love you and maybe I even have since the day we met. I want to be with you. And yes we most likely will fuck things up – both of us – because that is how life works, but we can deal with that so long as we're honest with each other. And I would NEVER leave you behind. That is not my thing you fucking know my exes, they are like family. So sorry but your arguments are like…bullshit. I don't buy them."
"No buts….. I will not live my life on regrets and if you and I don't go for this, I will fucking regret it Tommy, I will and so will you. Don't be so stubborn and please don't stand in the way of your own happiness….or mine for that matter."
"You really want to do this?"
"Tell me why, I need to know."
"Why you want to be with me. Coz I'm a total brat and I'll drive you fucking insane with all my weird habits."
"Oh Tommy. You break my heart. I know all of your weird habits and they don't annoy me one bit. You are a brat but you also love fiercely and you will do pretty much anything for the people you love. You give every inch of yourself to everyone around you. I love the way you let the music lead you astray sometimes. And how you always need to poke at things you don't understand until it makes sense to you and how you are perfectly happy by yourself but gladly give up your personal space when others need you too. I love how your default mode is sex and I love your dirty mouth. Basically I just love you for being you. Nothing more, nothing less and I want that. All of you."
Something breaks inside Tommy, all the walls he has been building around himself crumble. Adam tears them down brick but brick with his words and the loving expression on his face. With his light touch that holds Tommy captured and with the way he keeps his eyes locked in Tommy's as he tells him all the reasons that he needs so desperately to hear. Tommy is still scared but mostly of not giving into what he wants. He fucking needs Adam as much as he needs to breathe.
"Do you believe me?" Adam asks.
That does it. Adam is fucking perfect. Tommy launches himself at Adam knocking him backwards onto the bed, straddles him. Kisses him. The kiss is needy and messy. Too rough and too wet and he fucking loves it because it is real. Adam gives back as much as he gets which only make Tommy want more, more of everything Adam wants to give him. They break the kiss when air becomes an issue. Adam cups Tommy's face, forcing Tommy to slow down, putting their foreheads together and whispers with a shaky voice.
"Jesus Tommy! I want to…. Can I?" Tommy pulls back and send Adam a heated look.
"Duh!" Tommy hauls his t-shirt off and goes for Adam's.
"Baby slow down." Adam catches his hands and kisses them. Licking along the knuckles. Tommy moans. He wants that tongue all over his body, like now.
"Fuck you." Says Tommy. He doesn't want slow, he just wants right the fuck now. Adam laughs mischievously.
"No Tommy, that would be the other way around." Tommy fumbles with Adam's belt and Adam bats his hands away.
"Yeah? Then what the fuck are you waiting for hot stuff." Frustrated Tommy drops down on his back and raises his hips tugging off his briefs.
"Come and get it. I know you want it." Adam swallows hard because that is one very naked Tommy on the bed, wearing nothing but a wicked smirk. He is absolutely beautiful as he lies on the bed, legs spread wide, his eyes dark and pupils blown. Dick hard and leaking with precome. Adam is certain he is the luckiest man on the face of earth. He unbuttons his jeans and frantically pulls them down. Screw slow they have a whole life for slow.
Tommy's eyes never leave Adam. He takes it all in, savoring it. This is really happening. Tommy loves the sight of Adam's long lean thighs, every single line of his toned body. He will never comprehend why Adam doesn't think he is beautiful, because what Tommy is looking at right now has to be the sexiest man in the world. And the freckles, oh god the freckles he is gonna spend a life time mapping those with fingers, lips, and tongue. Tommy unconscious licks his own. Adam is naked to now and rolls around to straddle Tommy, as he bends down to kiss the collarbone and follows the curve with his tongue. The sounds coming from Tommy is much better than the ones in Adam's imagination. Tommy trails his fingers on Adam's upper arms, chasing those damn freckles.
"I fucking love your freckles."
"Yeah? I kinda hate them."
"I do, and you won't hate them when I am giving them the attention they need." Tommy pulls Adam in for a kiss. A long thorough kiss and he thrust his hips to meet Adam's. They easily find a rhythm as if their bodies have been doing this forever. Adam moan into Tommy's mouth. And the sensation of that almost does it for Tommy. It all becomes too much. To finally be like this, feeling Adam's thick leaking dick throbbing against his, the delicious friction they create! This right here is everything he ever wanted and now it is his. His heart swells to the point of breaking. The only sounds in the room are of kisses, licks, shallow breathing, and skin grinding against skin. And then Adam says.
"I love you Tommy Joe." These words send him right off the cliff and into an orgasm that threatens to take away his conscience forever.
"Shit, sorry Adam. That.." Tommy says after coming around again. He hides his head at the crock of Adam's neck.
"Shh it is okay baby; we've got all the time in the world. You can make it up to me later." Adam continues to kiss and caress Tommy in a soothing and loving, fucking patient way. It makes Tommy want to squirm or fucking cuddle. He loves the way Adam takes care of him right here, but his ego is slightly bruised.
"Guess you shouldn't sweet talk me like that, makes me fucking come like a teen." Adam raises an eyebrow.
"You're adorable y'know? And a total sab, but don't worry I don't kiss and tell." Adam releases his embrace and sits up.
"Hey where do you think you're going? Get back here!" Tommy reaches out to grab Adam but Adam gets away.
"We need to clean up and then I am gonna smother you with cuddles." a statement that makes Tommy smile, a small but very content private one that Adam feels blessed for earning. He knows for a fact that that is a smile reserved for him and him alone.
"But don't you.." Adam cuts him off.
"Later baby. Right now, I just want to enjoy the fact that I can have sex with you whenever I want to because you're mine. I got the most amazing, sexy, and god forbid, sabby guy in the universe in MY bed, so that is just fine for now. Rest and regain your strength, you're gonna need it." The last comes out as an `I dare you´, which make Tommy raise an eyebrow his whole expression saying, `game on´.
Adam gets back with a washcloth and gently wipes Tommy clean. He leaves the washcloth on the nightstand and crawls right back in bed with Tommy. Pulling him in close, inhaling the scent of sex, sweat and the one that is Tommy's personal. Feeling slightly intoxicated by the right to do so.
"Is that a thing of yours?" asks Tommy.
"Nevermind. I fucking know the answer to that."
"You're totally gonna mother hen me from now on aren't you?"
"No, I am gonna be a good boyfriend and spoil you like hell!"
"So I better get used to that, huh?"
"Adam?" Tommy sounds sleepy and oh, so satisfied. His voice muffled against Adam's broad chest. Adam loves the sound and knows that he could easily get addicted to it.
"I love you too." Adam tilt up Tommy's head and leans in for a kiss. It is soft and loving and filled with promises.