From KhallieGurl and LadyStrawberryFields:
The Black Cauldron is probably one of the absolute worst movies you will ever see. It is most definitely the worst animated Disney film, notwithstanding the straight-to-DVD sequels they feel the need to constantly churn out like butter. And so, LadyStrawberryFields and I have adopted a quest. A quest better than that of escorting a magic pig to safety and destroying a cauldron that can bring the dead back to life in a supposedly invincible army of creepy skeletons. Our quest is to completely rewrite this movie that brings shame upon the name of Disney.
The question is how. Originally, our idea was to write down everything we felt made the movie awful, change it, and turn it into an epic medieval quest movie that actually makes sense. However, upon watching what Disney attempted to pass off as cinema, we realized this is much more difficult than it seems. We think we can save it. It will take all of our fake medical knowledge to do so, but with some EXTREMELY radical changes, it could actually turn out kind of cool. But it is still a daunting task.
And so, we ask whoever's reading this: Would you rather see us attempt to do this, OR…would you rather see us rewrite the movie in a satire? Tell us your votes in your reviews. Because we officially can't decide.
If we've offended anyone who really likes The Black Cauldron, we're not really that sorry. If you like it, all the power to you. (Hey, I used to like it so much I carried a stuffed pig around with me all the time that I called Henwin.) But after watching it recently…as in fifteen minutes ago…I kind of want to burn it. (AVENGE THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE!) In short, if you're offended, don't read the story. And then it'll be like we don't even exist.
Cast your votes!