I just cashed in my Fan Fiction writing V card here on this one shot. I hope it is enjoyed and not that lame. I need to thank my pre readers: 2lilGents, Caseygrath, Stace811, GoAskAlice, Skeezon. My two Beta's who before this never beta'd, they kinda got thrown into it: yourmomspanties and ACRCullen. I love all those girls like woah and they better know.

I do not own the following characters, but I do own the plot, along with a picture of me and Robert Pattinson whom I met last month and he was Magically Delicious.

The song for this story is "Bump & Grind" by R Kelly

My Mind is Telling Me No…

"I can't move my feet are stuck!" Rose was yelling this from the ground that she was laying on.

Emmett looked up from the conversation he was having with Jasper.

"What the hell are you two doing?"

"Emmett help us!" I laughed. "Rose's socks are stuck on the fence."

We were in Emmett's back yard chilling and drinking forty ounce malt liquor.

Rose was laying in the yard with her socks stuck on the bottom on the fence. How she got that way was beyond me, we were both standing there drinking our forty ounces minding our own business.

Emmett was laughing at us. We were laughing at us. We were all a bit tipsy.

"Rose, why do you have socks on in August? It's hot as Satan's balls out here."

Emmett was also wondering how she got into the predicament.

"Shut up and get me off the fence before I laaaaayyyyy here for all of eternity." Rose giggled.

I was laughing too hard to help.

"Emmett get your ass over here!" I yelled across the yard.

He picked Rose up from under her arm pits to drag her off of the fence. Her

socks were getting longer and longer and longer. We were all laughing our asses off at the fuckery that was Rose's sock debacle.

"You know you could take them off Rose." Emmett suggested.

With wide eyes she responded. "Oh yeah, that is a delightful idea, why didn't I think of that?"

"Maybe because you are a drunkity drunk drunk." I said as I snapped her picture.

"I'm not drunk, I am buzzing." She declared.

I shook my head at her crazy ass. "Same shit girl."

We spent the next few hours on Emmett's back porch laughing, drinking and having a great time. Then I became the fifth wheel. Emmett, Rose and the other couple, Jasper & Alice were getting all snuggly. I was getting gaggy. I let myself in the house to watch some TV. The four freaks came in the house minutes later and went down stairs to do their business. I just rolled my eyes and stayed up stairs to watched TV. The front door opened, then closed and a guy walked up the stairs. He looked at me with a confused look. I looked at him and said hey. I was coolin' on the couch like I lived in the house and I belonged here.

"Hey" he said "Do you smoke weed?"

Um what did he just say? Oh, he was still staring at me. I thought maybe I should answer.

"Oh yes, yeah sure." I said wondering if this is trick question.

"Then come on." He said waving me to come along with him.

I followed him out back through the kitchen and return to the back deck. He is

Edward. Emmett's older brother. He was lighting what looks like a cigar & joint. "What is that?" I wondered out loud. "What?"

"That." I said pointing to the cigar joint thing.

He laughed at me.

What did I say? Why am I funny? I'm not even trying to be funny.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You." He answered.

Um ok.

"You said you smoked." He says giving me the side eye.

"I do."

"You never smoked a blunt." He said at a statement not a question.

"A blunt what?" I asked

"A blunt, you know Philly Blunt with weed wrapped in it?" Edward questioned me looking into my eyes for the truth.

This dude probably thought I was lying to him.

"Nope," I answered confidently "just joints, bowls and bongs."

I totally sounded like Cheech & Chong's love child.

"Oh ok, well you will enjoy this. Where are Emmett, R and the others?" he asked while lighting the reefers.

"Down stairs and I'm pretty sure they are getting their freak on." I said with a shrug.

Edward rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to kick Emmett's ass. I know that fucker is in my room."


"Why aren't you getting your freak on?" he questioned taking another hit from the blunt.

"Ummm I don't know if you noticed I am the fifth wheel today."

He looked in my eyes again like he could see through me. "No boyfriend?"

"I didn't say that." I said while nodding my head.

"I know you didn't say that I was asking." He said grinning.

This dude was a cocky fucker.

I shrugged my shoulders.

Would I consider Riley my boyfriend-boyfriend? I mean I guess he could be. He is hot as fuck, but is scared and shy. We've been talking on the phone for 2 weeks. I've seen him 3 times in person. Yes, so I lack in the department of experience with boys, boyfriends what ever.

I snatched the blunt from Edward and take a hit, a deep hit. Whoa, then I began choking.

He started laughing at me again.

After I was done gasping for air to save my life I looked at him with a "what the fuck" look on my face.

Shaking his head and pounding me on the back he took the Philadelphia weed blunt out of my hands.

"You can't hit these like a joint or a cigarette!" You're about to be fucked up."

I thought I was already high high hiiiiigh. Yep I'm singing in my head.

He passed me the blunt again after he took a hit. This time I was careful. We

smoked it until it was small then extinguished. I light up a ciggy as if I needed to put anything else in my lungs and just chill on the chair.

We went back into the house, which felt like after forever but it was only twenty minutes.

The freaks were still down stairs. I sat back down on the couch in the spot I was before Edward entered.

I was guessing with no where else to go, since Emmett was banging in his room

Edward sat about two feet away from me. We were watching TV as he flicked through the channels. Time passed extra slow, finally he had settled on a movie. I wasn't really paying attention to it, my eyes wanted to close. I decided to lie on the arm of the couch. Edward peeked over and laughed at me again. What the hell was this dude's problem? But I laughed too. He picked my feet up and he scootched closer to me while lying my feet in his lap. Ummmm. Okay.

We continued watching the stupid movie. I was high as hell. My mouth was dry.

"Are you thirsty?" He asked.

Was he a mind reader?

I responded in what felt like slow motion "Um yes, very much so." I thought. I just used a British Accent.

He chuckled and got up. He returned with two glasses of red Kool Aid. I took it and chugged it down my throat like I had been lying in the dessert for 27 hours. I finished it off with a big ahhhhhhh then licked my lips and wiped my

Kool-Aid smile off with my hand. The whole time Edward was staring at me like I grew some boobs on my forehead.

"What?" I said. I would get to the bottom of his amusement.

"You're funny."

"How am I funny? I just drank some Kool-Aid" I said.

"No you housed that shit like you didn't want to share it with anyone." He responded.

"I'm a very thirsty lady here." I clarified.

"You have cotton mouth." Edward replied.

"Not anymore." I answer smugly.

He shakes his head with a smirk took a sip of his drink, set it down and sat back down. He turned to me.

"You can lie back down if you want."

"Okay." I replied

He grabbed my feet again and put them in his lap. I was wondering if he was this friendly with everyone he met. But then again I've talked to him on the phone when asking for Emmett. So I am sure he knows who I am. Instead of watching the lame ass movie I decide I'm going to check him out from the corner of my eye. He's pretty cute. He has dark brown messy, unkept hair, built not lanky not chubby, but built. I can't really tell if he buff or not. His shirt is loose. He has a bit of facial hair going on, maybe a two day shadow? His eye lashes were long but I couldn't see the color of his eyes. And the eye brows were under control. So far Edward was the opposite of his beast of a brother. Emmett's hair is shaven close to his head so his hair looks light,

Edwards was not light. Emmett also has a big loud voice when he talks, Edward was quiet. I have been friends with Emmett since the 7th grade and this is the first time I have met his bro in person.

Edward looked over at me and I quickly turned my attention to the movie. He chuckled then started rubbing my leg.

My vagina just sighed.


No, no vagina don't be a slut, we just met him.

You've talked to him before; he's your best friend's brother.

Is my vagina trying to reason with me? No Gina, shut up and don't be a whore.

I'm no whore, we've only has sex once and that was months and months ago.

Yes I'd like to keep that way; it was not the best experience to be had for a first time.

Try it again it might be better.

No, I'm waiting until I have boyfriend and we are dating for real this time.

Oh come on Bells it can be a fun time…

Stop! Stop trying to kegle, that's just ignorant. He is just rubbing my leggggggg, I mean my thigh now. Holy fuck, I am really having a convo with my vagina? I am high as hell. My eyes began to hurt like I blinked fifty-two times in the past minute and they were dry.

"Can you turn that ceiling fan off?" I heard my self say.

He chuckled again.

Is asking to turn off the fan is it that fucking funny? Maybe he laughs in place of words. What a strange pretty boy. He moved my feet off of his legs and turned off the fan, he also turned off the light. Oh fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck. I wondered what my other freaky friends are doing; I guess they fell asleep after their buzz and sexcapades. He sat back down pulled my legs on to his lap and propped his elbow between me and the couch.

"Are you ok?" he asked me to gain permission to lie next to me.

"Huh? Oh, yeah I am fine." I just mentally kicked my own ass and wondered when my vocabulary turned into one syllable words only.

Hey kegle pumping vag, are you laughing at me?

Don't be a slut. Don't be a slut. Don't be a slut. I wondered if my chants will work. I am saying this as he is rubbing my thigh; his thumb started grazing Miss. Slutgina as she began cheering.

Okay, okay I can do this, a little makey outy is no big deal, and I've done this before. Albeit a long time ago but it doesn't automatically mean I've got to mount the dude.

He scotched up a little, not ninja like. I mean he was not that slick he is only a 17 year old boy. I continued just looking at the TV like nothing is going on.

Edward looked up and grins at me, "What are you giggling about?"

"Huh? Oh nothing." I answered.

I giggled? I didn't even recall why. Also, why do I keep saying Huh? I hear him; he is right in my fucking face. I wasn't hard of hearing. Did the weed make my hearing weak? Like it made my vag be a slut? However it made me thirsty like

I ran a triathlon. I could never do a triathlon, I can't swim. If doggy paddle and counted I could do that, but then I'd be left in the dust. FOCUS. Wow I was thinking of some dumb ass shit. Maybe it was to keep my mind of the cutie patuttie that was rubbing on my thighs and on my vavavaginaaaa. Oh yeah he was totally touching me there and I have no desire to move. I looked down at him.

His head was at my boob level, oh fucking great. I had to worry about the baby twins dissing me too. He decided to pass the baby twins and began to put his tongue on my neck. Small pecks, then he went for my lips.


Kiss, kiss, makey outy, I began kissing him back and I liked it, it was nice.

I ram my hands through his hair, nice this is soft.


No, that was not me. That was him, wow ok. So I took it that liked my phalanges in his hair huh.

We kissed for a little bit more, and he was rubbing on you know who, tradergina.

He then snuck a finger in my shorts, straight through my underpants.


He then stopped are you kidding me?

"Are you ok?" he asks

"Yes. Fine thanks." Continue please.

We went back to kissing. Ok so I am a hoe bag.

No you're not.

Oh now she wanted to be nice. I still can't believe I am talking to my Cookernanny, then calling it a ridiculous name!

I should really have my brain checked or maybe lay off the reefers.

His fingers were having a good time down there. I was enjoying that up here, I can't lie. It had been a long time since I had allowed access to my hotspot. Moan.

Shit yeah that was me. I am moaning and breathing like I ran in that triathlon.

SHUT UP! I yelled at my inner monologue I wanted to enjoy it! I began to feel a tingle down there and a good tingle. He began moving faster and I was matching his thrusts. I began to feel a tingle in my feet. That was feeling good. I had never felt this before and I liked it, Allot.


That was the pair of us.

"You left them outside, remember you took them off after the fence attacked them." Said a voice that is retreating up the stairs.

Shit. Emmett.

Edward scootched up as he removed his hand out of my shorts. My feet were back on his legs. Our breathing was a little heavy. I mean too heavy for sitting on the couch watching a movie.

Emmett and Rose were then on the top of the stairs looking at us. I pretended I didn't know they were there.

Edward turned his head.

"What's up brah?"

Rose laughed; I turn my head and looked at her. Be innocent.

"What are you guys doing?" Rose dragged her u you in the word.

"Watch-" I had to clear my throat "watching a movie."

"Mmmmhummmm." Emmett started cackling at us.

"What dude, we are just chilling. Just keeping Bella company since she was left here while you freaks took care of business. Which by the way you are changing my sheets tonight."

Up walked Alice and Jasper with grins on their faces.


I sat up and straighten my freshly not fucked hair.

"So what are we doing guys? Did you enjoy your naps? Are you recharged?" I asked trying to take the eyes off of Edward and me.

"Bella, what's wrong with your eyes?" Rose walked over to me and began inspecting me.

"What nothing, they are dry like a desert." I said which was not a total lie.

"Rose fetch your socks and shoes off the deck! We are going to head out."

Emmett, Rose and wheel three and four, Alice and Jasper that is, went out back

to get their things. I looked over at Edward; he looked at me and we both burst out laughing. He leaned in and kissed me again.

I got up and put my glass in the kitchen sink.

Rose and I walked down to the front door. Emmett was talking to Edward.

"I need to smoke." I told Rose, "Come outside with me."

"Okaaaaay." The smirk was still on Rose's face. She knows me all too well.

I lit my cigarette; I gave the lighter to Rose. She couldn't resist not asking.


"So what?"

"You and Edward?"


"You lie like a dirty dog."

"Nothing really happened, we just made out a tad. Oh and I smoked a blunt and I am super duper high right now. I can't go home yet."

Emmett walked outside; he had a smirk on his face too.


"Oh nothing, what do you guys want to do?"

"I can't go home yet. I can't open my eyes and I need a drink. Where are we going?"

"Slow down Dale E," Emmett said draping his arm over my shoulder walking us to the car. "We can go to the courts and see if there is anyone there."

So I was the fifth wheel once again, but that's nothing new. We headed over to the basketball courts, there were too many people. I got out of the car and walked up to the bleachers with my arm hooked with Rose's. "Rose, I can't see well enough. I feel like I'm going to yak Rose took my hand, Alice took my waist.

"Just lay me down in the car; I want a nap, to much work to stand."

They laid me down.

"Bell we're going to get the boys, then we will go to your house." Alice said.


Nap I want a wee little nap. Next thing I knew I was being lifted and my head was being placed in Emmett's lap. Rose had my feet, she began rubbing my leg.

I felt gaggy, I seriously needed a drink.

We all started laughing.

"Dude, how much of that blunt did you smoke with my brother."

"Like close to half of it." I shrugged.

"What? Half of a whole one?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah, what the hell was in that weed." I asked.

"Nothing chick you are just super high." Jasper informed me of that fact as if

I didn't already know.

We got to my house they took me down stairs to our room like stealth ninjas.

Rose talked to the parental units and we were good.

I was lying on my bed which felt like I was floating on a cloud. I told the four wheels this. They were laughing at me. I thought I should be a fucking comedian because apparently I was a funny bitch.

Emmett and the two wheels leave. Why the hell I called them wheels I have no stanking idea.

Rose came over to me to feel my head and look in my eyes.

"Are you ok there Snoop Dogg?" she asks.

"Yes Dr. Dre, I am good but I think there was something that laced that weed man." I said.

"I'll call Edward and ask if you'd like." she suggested.

"No not tonight, let's call him tomorrow." I said

"Yeah then you can get some boom boom." Rose giggled.

"No I told you I'm not doing that unless I am dating, I don't want a repeat of last time and I don't want to be a slut." I said.

"OK freak do to sleep because your eyes are really freaking me the hell out." Rose declares.

"Night, thanks for taking care of me, and Rose?" I said getting her attention.

"What up hippy?" she said.

"It's August, keep your socks at home next time." I laughed.

We laughed and I fell asleep with a grin on my face, thinking of the cocky grin of a boy I made out with today.

Thanks for reading. Please tell me what you thought. I would like to improve my writing, and your feel back will help me.

xoxo glam777