Rating: M, for language and lemons
Characters: This is a Jasper/Edward slash o/s
Disclaimer: SM owns everything Twilight related.
a/n This was my o/s for the Fandoms Fight The Floods compilation. Thank you to the amazing Twiweasel for her awesome beta skills and her vast knowledge of slash.
Just a Coffee, Please
I wiped my cloth over the counter in front of me, glancing at the clock on the far wall out of the corner of my eye, hoping that no one would see. 11.55am, he'd be here soon. I felt my pulse quicken and my cheeks heat up as I thought about him,and imagined the look he would give me. With a soft sigh, I quickly dropped my eyes and focused on the task at hand.
"He'll be here, don't worry lover boy." An irritatingly cheerful voice whispered in my ear.
I should have known that she'd notice. Nothing got past Alice.
"How many times have I told you Ally, I'm not gay. I'm not interested in him that way."
"Mmhmm," she responded, cocking her delicate eyebrow at me. "Then why have you been watching that clock for the last half an hour?"
She had me there and she knew it. I had no answer for her, so she just smirked at me and disappeared into the back. I wasn't gay, or at least I didn't think I was. I had nothing against it, each to their own and all that, I just didn't think it was for me. I'd been with my fair share of women before, and it was ok. Not great, but I figured I just hadn't met the right one yet. It wasn't like I lusted after men either, because I sure as fuck didn't usually, but there was just something about him. The way he walked, so self assured, verging on cocky. The way his eyes raked over me with a hungry, yet slightly amused look. He knew he had an effect on me, I was sure if it. I didn't know if he knew just how much of an effect. If I was honest, it scared the crap out of me.
The sound of the door being opened snapped me out of my musings. One quick look at the clock told me what I already felt. He was here.
I slowly looked up towards the front of the shop and there he was, in all his glory. Tall, lean body, muscles just visible under his fitted white t-shirt. Jeans slung low on his narrow hips, black biker boots finishing off the look. One hand running through thick, copper streaked hair, piercing green eyes now trained on me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and gripped the edge of the counter to hide the slight shaking of my hands. It was always the same. He came in Monday through Friday at 12pm without fail, ordered a simple plain black coffee, and I always served him.
Six feet, two inches of walking temptation.
"Hello, Jasper." His smooth voice washed over me, instantly relaxing and soothing my frayed nerves.
His eyes roamed up and down my body, pausing at my groin, one side of his mouth curving up in his trade mark smile. Nobody else, male or female had ever made me feel like this before. I was terrified and confused all at the same time, but I was also embarrassingly aroused. I could feel my jeans getting uncomfortably tight, and I knew he could tell.
"Just a coffee, please." It was the same every day. It had been for the last six weeks. Each time he came in, my reaction to him was more pronounced, my body now recognizing his presence and acting accordingly, always without my permission.
His green eyes stared into mine, his look intense and suddenly serious.
"When, Jasper?" I was momentarily stunned as I watched his lips move, before I realized he'd spoken.
"When what?" he chuckled slightly at my dazed response, before turning serious once again.
"When are you going to admit, that you feel it too?" He asked this at least once a week, and each time I gave the same answer.
"I don't know what you mean." I couldn't look at him when I said it because we both knew it was a fucking shameful lie. I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself. I also didn't want to see the flash of hurt that would mar his perfect features, before vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. I heard him sigh in disappointment, and I felt a small stab of guilt because I knew I was the cause.
I slid his coffee over to him and took his money, watching as he picked it up and walked slowly over to his usual spot in the corner.
"What's holding you back Jasper?" I hadn't heard Alice come back out and I started slightly at the sound of her voice.
"What do you mean?" I asked, feigning ignorance. There was no fooling Alice though, and she huffed in annoyance.
"You know exactly what I mean, Jasper Whitlock. That beautiful man comes in here every day for one reason and one reason only, and its not for the fucking coffee! I know you feel something for him too, I can see it written all over your face." she cocked an eyebrow at me, daring me to disagree.
"That's not-" I started to protest, but she cut me off with a raised hand.
"Don't give me that crap! You almost drool over him." Her voice softened a little and she placed one of her small hands on my arm. "I just don't see what the problem is, since you clearly both like each other."
I rubbed my hand over my eyes, trying to think of what to say. I didn't fucking understand it myself, so I sure as fuck didn't know how to explain it to Alice.
"It's not...What I mean is … I don't know what's going on, Alice. I don't like men that way, I like women."
"But you like Edward?" She asked quietly.
There was no use denying it any longer, she knew how I felt better than I did it seemed.
"Yes." As I said the words, I felt a huge weight lift of my shoulders. "Yes, I like Edward." There, I'd said it, out loud. It felt like such a huge fucking relief to finally admit it to myself.
"You don't just have to like men, or women, Jasper," she said smiling warmly up at me, "You can just like Edward, for being Edward." She reached up and gave me a tight hug, whispering softly in my ear.
"Now, go get him tiger." she giggled, slapping my ass as she moved to serve the customer that had just come in.
I took a deep breath, trying to gain some courage for what I was about to do. I was nervous as fuck, but I knew I wanted to explore whatever it was that was going on between us. I looked over to where he sat, nursing his nearly empty cup, watching me with an amused expression on his face. I hope he hadn't heard Alice's impromptu pep talk, she had a tendency to whisper loudly when she got excited. He picked up his cup and drained the last of his coffee. It was now or never.
I squared my shoulders and slowly, but purposefully, made my way over to him. Stopping just in front of his table, I stared at him for minute, unsure what to say now that I was actually over here. He looked up at me expectantly, cocking his head to one side while he waited for me to speak.
"I feel it too." I blurted out, saying the first thing that came into my head. His mouth fell open slightly and he looked a little shocked, like it was the last fucking thing he was expecting me to say.
What if I'd got it wrong? What if he'd been messing with me and didn't actually want me like that? What a fucking fool, of course he didn't! I'd seen the way women looked at him, lusted after him, there's no way he'd be interested in me that way. What was I thinking?
I felt my face heat up as mortification spread through my body. I wanted to fall into a deep, dark hole and never find my way out.
"I'm sorry. I thought... well I ..." I stuttered, trying to get the words out so I could make a hasty retreat and go hide. "I'm just fucking sorry, ok.."
I dropped my head down, cursing my now flaming cheeks and turned to rush back to the relative safety of behind the counter.
"Wait!" I felt a warm, strong hand grab my wrist, halting my movements. I turned to face him, slowly, not sure what to expect when I met his eyes.
"I'm sorry. That was just the last thing I expected you to say." I met his gaze then and what I found there caused a warm feeling to stir deep within my belly. His eyes were darker than usual, filled not only with desire, but also tenderness. I felt his thumb start to rub soothing circles against the back of my hand, easing my anxiety.
"I've been in here every week day for the past six weeks, Jasper. I was beginning to think maybe I'd got it wrong and you weren't interested after all."
I smiled at his choice of words, having only just felt that way moments before. I relaxed slightly, but still felt a little unsure of what to say next.
"I don't know how to do this." I said, gesturing between the two of us. I figuring I might as well just put it out there, since he must already know how new all this was for me. He smiled then, a big heartwarming smile that lit up his whole face and I knew in that moment that I had nothing to be nervous about.
"Don't worry, Jasper," he said softly, reaching up to stroke my cheek, "I won't rush you, we'll take things nice and slow."
I thought I'd freak out at the touch of his hand in such an intimate gesture, but as his fingers came into contact with my overheated skin, strangely it felt, right.
"Here," he said reaching into his pocket for a piece of paper. "Do you have a pen?"
I nodded and passed him mine. He quickly scribbled down an address and handed it to me, along with my pen.
"This is my address. Can you come round about seven thirty tonight? We can talk."
"Just talk?" I know I'd started all this, but I was suddenly scared shitless again.
"Yes, Jasper. Just to talk." he reassured me.
"Ok. I'll be there." I could do talking. Hell, I needed to talk about it to figure out what the fuck was going on.
He rose from his seat and paused in front of me, taking the ends of my fingers gently in his.
"I have to go now, but I'll see you later?" I nodded slightly and he must have sensed my nervousness coming back because the grip on my fingers tightened just a little.
"Promise you' ll come tonight? Just hear me out, and then if you decide it's not for you, then that's fine. I just want to try." He looked at me with just a hint of desperation in his eyes, and I found myself wanting to make it go away.
His grip on my fingers loosened and he gave me another breathtaking smile, before leaving.
I watched him go and let out a big sigh. I felt like I'd run a marathon and needed to catch my breath for a moment. I'd just agreed to go round to his house to talk about us. Whatever that might mean. I had no fucking idea of what to expect, and although I was full f apprehension, I found myself starting to look forward to it. By the end of my shift I was itching to get home and change. I had three hours before I needed to be at Edward's and suddenly they couldn't go quick enough.
It had been a long time since I'd felt this level of nervous excitement before a date, or whatever it was we were doing. After several hugs and embarrassing words of unsolicited advice from Alice, about always using lube, I was out the door and heading to my apartment.
Half past seven, on the dot. I'd been standing outside his door for the past five minutes. Ok, I'd been pacing up and down his expensive hallway for the last five minutes, but the result was the same. I couldn't bring myself to knock on his door. The worst thing was, he'd buzzed me into his building, so he either knew I was out here or thought the elevators were broken. I figured it was the first one and he was just giving me time to grow a pair. Before I could change my mind again, I raised my hand and rapped sharply on his door.
Two seconds later it swung open to reveal a smirking Edward, dressed only in dark pajama pants and a grey fitted t-shirt, instead of the white one he'd had on earlier. He ran a hand through his hair and I noticed a few drops of water fall to the floor. He'd obviously just come out of the shower and was still a little wet. I had a fleeting vision of his wet, naked body as he stood under the falling water.
What the hell?
I swallowed thickly and licked my lips. I noticed his eyes flick down to my mouth and back up again and my heart rate increased a little more, if that were even possible at this point.
"Finally," he said, smiling at me, his eyes darkening slightly. "I thought you were going to wear out my carpet."
"Sorry," I replied, blushing. "I was feeling a little nervous."
He moved aside and gestured for me to enter, his hand settling on the small of my back as he guided me over to the huge leather sofa in the middle of his living room. I felt the heat from his fingers through my shirt, causing me to shiver slightly.
"There's no need to be nervous, Jasper," he said softly, my name falling of his tongue like a velvety caress.
"I won't bite...for now anyway." The last part was said so quietly, I don't think he'd meant for me to hear. But I had and my mind raced with the all the possibilities of that statement.
"Sit down, and I'll fix us a drink"
I sat and relaxed into the plush leather as he left to get our drinks.
"Is beer ok?" he shouted from the kitchen area.
"Yeah, that's fine. Thanks"
He returned with two beers and set them down on the table before joining me on the sofa, sitting close, but not touching. I reached for mine and took a long drink, hoping to take the edge off my nerves. An awkward silence settled between us and I began to second guess my decision to come here, until he reached over and stroked the back of my hand. Once again, his gentle touch smoothed away my worries and I shifted slightly in my seat to look at him.
"I know all this is new to you," he began. I smirked at him, because yeah, it was clearly fucking obvious that it was new to me.
"I know you're nervous," he continued, all the while still stroking my hand, "but you needn't be."
"I don't know what I'm doing, Edward." It was the first time I'd said his name and the biggest smile lit up his face, it was infectious and I couldn't help but smile in return. It gave me the courage to say the rest of what was on my mind.
"I've only ever been with women, I'm not sure I can do this. I've never ...wanted a man before, the way... I want you." I finished softly, looking up at him, unsure of his reaction.
His hand reached up and cupped my cheek, I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, trying not to think but just feel.
"I know it's fucking scary as shit, I've been there."
He went on to tell me a little bit about himself, how he liked both men and women, that it was the person themselves that he was attracted to. Alice's words from earlier today ran through my mind and I decided to stop trying to put a label on this, to just enjoy it for what it was.
He said it hadn't been easy to accept that he was attracted to men as well as women, since he'd been brought up to believe you either liked one or the other. He told me he knew exactly how I felt, and he would never push me to do anything I wasn't ready for. If all I ever wanted to do was talk, then he would be more than happy to become my friend and nothing more. He just wanted to know me.
The more he talked, the more relaxed I became. We talked for hours, not just about the possibility of us, but about our life, our interests and anything else that came up. As I watched him explain about his work as an ER doctor, I found myself focusing on the cut of his jaw, the way his full lips moved as he spoke, occasionally wetting them with the tip of his tongue.
I began to imagine what it would be like to kiss those lips, how it would feel to run my hands through his hair and have his warm strong hands touch me in return. I must have been staring for a while because he stopped mid sentence and tried to get my attention.
"Jasper? Are you ok? You seemed to disappear there for a minute." He was smiling at me, but I could see a hint of worry in his eyes. "I hope I'm not boring you."
I swallowed slowly, but continued to stare at his lips, eventually dragging my gaze up to meet his. I could feel the mood start to change between us and the air became charged with tension.
"Jasper?" He asked again, almost willing me to speak. I was terrified of making this move, but I knew at that moment what I wanted to do, so I decided to do it before I could change my mind.
"I want to kiss you."
I heard his small intake of breath and the hopeful expression on his face made my chest swell.
"Are you su-"
"Yes." I cut him off.
It was all the confirmation he needed and he slid closer to me, running his hand slowly up my thigh. My breath hitched as he leaned in, his nose skimming down my cheek.
"I've wanted to do this since the very first time I saw you," he whispered, his face so close I could feel his breath on my lips. I waited excitedly for his lips to touch mine, my heart beating so loud I swear he could hear it too.
I closed my eyes and felt his soft mouth on mine, gentle at first, letting me get used to the idea. Passion coiled inside me and suddenly it wasn't nearly enough, I reached up and fisted my hands in his hair, pulling him hard against me. He groaned into my mouth and deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding along my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I opened up eagerly and let him in.
He pushed me back so I was now lying flat on the sofa, with him settling between my hips. He continued to kiss me, long and hard, his hands underneath my shoulders holding me in place.
I liked it.
I liked the feel of his weight on top of me, his strong arms gripping me tight. I'd always been the one in control during sex and never thought I'd enjoy it the other way round. But having Edward take control was driving me fucking crazy. He swiveled his hips slightly and I felt his arousal as he rubbed his rock hard length against mine. We both moaned at the sensation, it felt incredible and I almost whimpered as he pulled away to look down at me.
"I want you so fucking bad, Jasper." I immediately froze. Although the feeling of his cock grinding against mine was hot as hell, I wasn't sure I was ready for that step just yet.
"Don't look so scared," he chuckled softly, reaching up to smooth a lock of hair out of my eyes. "I know you're not ready." I relaxed at his words and pulled him back down for another kiss, he willingly obliged.
His hand traced a path down my body, making my stomach muscles clench as it ghosted over my abs and rested lightly on the button of my jeans. My cock twitched in anticipation of what I hoped might be coming next.
"Can I? Can I make you feel good?" he murmured.
"H-how?" I asked, immediately wanting to slap myself for my stupid question, but he just smiled.
"I want to suck your cock. Can I, please?" He asked, stroking his thumb across my now swollen lips.
Desire and want flooded through me at his words and I felt my jeans get impossibly tighter. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I really fucking wanted this. Wanted him.
"Fuck... yes!" I replied trying not to push myself against his hand, but failing miserably. He palmed me through my clothes, teasing me and I had to bite my lip in an effort not to moan out loud.
Edward grinned, moving in for one last kiss before turning his attention to getting my jeans off. He slipped off my shoes and socks, then peeled my jeans and underwear down agonizingly slowly, trailing wet kisses wherever my bare skin was revealed to him.
Finally, they were off and he made his way back up my body, hovering over my throbbing erection and licking his lips. I moaned at the sight, silently begging him to touch me before I exploded. He ran a hand along my bare thigh, my legs trembling as he edged closer to where I wanted him most. Without any warning he slid his hand over and wrapped it around me, causing me to cry out and thrust my hips.
He looked up at me then, and without breaking eye contact, leaned forward and took me painfully slowly into his mouth.
"Oh, God!" I cried, my hands immediately finding their way back into his hair.
The feeling of being inside his hot, wet mouth was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. It was almost too much and I had to think of dead kittens, my grandmother naked, anything to stop me blowing my load straight away. He pulled back, circling his tongue around the tip of my cock before sucking me back in, all the way down til I hit the back of his throat. I felt the familiar tightening in my stomach, and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Holding his head, I guided him how I wanted and he hummed his approval making me fist his hair even harder. He reached round and grabbed my ass, gripping me firmly as I pumped in and out of him
I was barely holding on, so when he ran his fingers down between my ass cheeks while grazing my cock with his teeth, it was more than enough to send me spiraling over the edge.
"Holy fuck! I'm... gonna... cum!" I shouted out.
He gripped me tighter as I emptied myself in hot spurts down his throat and he swallowed it all.
I released him from my mouth but hesitated before looking up at his face. I'd not anticipated going this far tonight, but when we'd started kissing, after he initiated it, I kind of got carried away with wanting to show him how good we could be. I'd really had every intention of just talking tonight, I hoped I hadn't scared him away with my over enthusiasm. It had taken six weeks to get to this point, the last thing I wanted to do was fuck it up on the first night.
I slowly raised my head to look at him and assess the possible damage. My heart stuttered a little at what I saw. He had his eyes closed still, a lazy grin plastered across his face, looking utterly relaxed. My chest swelled, knowing I'd put that look there. I blew out a long sigh of relief as I sat up, reaching out to gently stroke the side of his face.
"Jasper?" I asked, softly, not wanting to startle him.
"Mmm..?" he muttered
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah," he answered, he eyes still closed. "That was... it was just... wow..."
"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?" I smirked, licking my lips slightly, a hint of his taste lingering there.
He opened his eyes, blinking slightly at the sudden invasion of light. He looked at me, then down at his bare bottom half and blushed furiously.
"Hey," I whispered, causing him to shift his eyes back up to me.
"Don't be embarrassed."
"I'm not... I just.. Well I guess I am a little." He gave me a small smile.
"Look," I said, trying to ease his discomfort. "Why don't you get dressed and I'll get us another drink. Ok?"
He looked instantly relieved at that prospect, so I immediately got up and headed to the kitchen area, giving him some privacy to put himself back together. He was obviously on the verge of freaking out a little about what we'd just done, and I needed to tread very carefully. There was nothing I wanted more than to leap head first into a relationship with him. It was all I'd thought about for the past six weeks for fuck's sake, ever since I first saw him. But the whole situation needed very delicate handling.
I took our drinks back in, to find him fully dressed and sitting upright on the couch. He still looked a bit tense, so I handed him his beer and reached for the remote to put some music on. Unfortunately I'd forgotten what I'd previously been listening to and as the dulcet tones of Etta James singing At Last, filled the room, I couldn't help but smirk and maybe cringe a little at how appropriate that song choice was for us.
I held up my hands and glanced over at Jasper, who thankfully was also looking amused.
"I didn't plan this, honest." I said, trying not to laugh, but failing miserably.
To my utter relief Jasper burst out laughing and the tension, that was threatening to ruin everything, was broken just like that. I'd never been so grateful to my father, for introducing my to the delights of old music..
We spent the rest of the night talking about anything and everything. Our likes, dislikes, favorite films, musical tastes, we had more in common than I could ever have hoped for and I was having trouble reigning in the hope that was building inside me.
All too soon, it was time for Jasper to go and I reluctantly walked him towards the door. I wanted to ask him the all important question, but despite how well the evening had gone, I was still unsure what his answer would be. I turned to him before opening the door and swallowed down my apprehension.
"So," I looked him straight in the eye, checking for any hesitancy "Can I see you again?"
He smiled and reached his hand up to cup my cheek.
"I'd like that very much."
I couldn't help the huge grin that his answer had caused. Nor could I stop myself from grabbing him and kissing him hard on the mouth. I eventually released him and opened the door to let him out.
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at 12?" He asked as he backed out of my apartment, grinning broadly now as well.
"I wouldn't miss it."