I smile wryly at her thoughts as she watches me strolling toward her on the beach. She thinks this is something out of a fantasy. A nightmare would be a more apt description; she just doesn't know that yet.
The night is cloudy… typical for the Pacific Northwest. The nearly full moon is trying to make an appearance through the thick cloud coverage, and a narrow stream of moonlight highlights my shadowy figure as I leisurely make my way toward the young woman waiting for me on the beach.
I only allow myself this luxury one time a year, and I don't want to rush this. On April 24th, the anniversary of that day; the day I lost everything.
It's only been nine years since Isabella Marie Swan left this world. I was with her that day. That April 24th was an unusually bright, sunny day in Seattle. I'd visited Bella for the first time in forty-one years. The last time I had seen her in person before that had been a few days after she turned eighteen; the day I left her life for good. She was now fifty-nine and dying from a brain tumor. Alice had seen it in a vision, and while I had almost become catatonic with the force of the pain the knowledge caused, I knew I had to break my promise and go to her one last time. I had to tell her good-bye, and let her know that I loved her...that I would love her forever.
Despite my intentions not to, I had kept tabs on Bella's life through Alice's visions. Alice never deliberately looked, but the visions came to her, nonetheless. I saw Bella graduate from college, start her job as a journalist, and watched the wonder that covered her face as she gazed upon her daughter for the first time. I focused on those images for years, as they anchored me. They gave my dreary existence a purpose. I knew as long as I stayed away, Bella was getting to live the life she was meant to live-a human life with human experiences.
However, as I entered her bedroom on that fateful day, I realized my existence would no longer hold purpose. Bella would be gone, and I would have to find a way to end myself. I took solace in the thought that at least the pain and torture would soon be over.
Bella had been moved home to rest comfortably once the doctors told her daughter that there was nothing they could do. I entered her room just before dawn to find her sleeping. I gazed upon her form for what seemed like hours. As the sun began to rise, Bella opened her eyes.
She hadn't been angry or even surprised to see me. It was as if she'd known I would come. Her first words to me were, "It's today, isn't it? Alice saw?" I swallowed with great difficulty and nodded.
I spent a total of nine-and-a-half hours with Bella before she took her final breathe. In that time, she told me about her life, and about her daughter, Emily. She'd said that even though she cared very much for Emily's father, she couldn't marry him because her heart still belonged to me. I told her I had never stopped loving her. She told me, that over time, she had come to realize I'd lied to her and that I had left her so she could live her life. She also told me she'd forgiven me. Then she did something that would change the course of my existence forever. She begged for, and finally obtained my promise that I would look after her daughter from afar. Bella told me she would feel better, able to leave this world in peace, knowing I was watching out for her Emily, even if it would always be from a distance.
Bella forgave me all my transgressions. She gave me only comfort in her final hours. How could I deny her this final wish? So, I abandoned my suicide plans and kept my promise; but it's not easy living in a world where Bella no longer exists. I've been forced to find ways to cope. Unusual, and depraved ways; which is why I find myself here on this beach, just south of Seattle, intent on seducing a young girl who has just turned eighteen.
She has long brown hair, but unfortunately, her eyes are more hazel than brown.
Her name is Marissa, but I told her I liked to call her 'Bella' because it means beautiful in Italian. She liked that. They always like that.
She's a high school senior, with plans of attending Berkeley next year. She's studious and her favorite past time is reading. I found her at a small bookstore in Seattle. She was perusing the Classics section much to my delight. She'd acted so shy when I introduced myself and asked her to join me for coffee.
I learned she wasn't a Bronte fan, another disappointment. However, after talking to her and perusing her thoughts for nearly two hours, I discovered enough to know she would suit my purposes. There were enough similarities, and most importantly, she was untouched. She'd never even had a proper boyfriend.
I listened intently to her, saying all the right things, and thoroughly dazzled her over the course of the next two days. That's why now, just fifty-four hours later, she is sitting on a blanket on this deserted beach, waiting for me to take her.
Her appearance is as I had requested. She is wearing a simple white dress, and her hair hangs loose. As I reach her I lock my gaze onto hers. I use all of my vampire charms to calm and lull her into a false sense of security and of trust. Her eyes glaze over and her smile is almost dopey; it's working. I drop to my knees and face her on the blanket. She's also sitting on her knees, and her hands are nervously bunching in the fabric of her dress resting just above her knees.
I close my eyes and reach out with my hand to cup her cheek. She's so warm and soft-just like my Bella.
Oh, God. What am I suppose to do? I can't believe someone this hot wants me. He's gotta have experience. I'm going to disappoint him.
I concentrate hard to block out her juvenile ramblings. This is always the hardest part of playing out my fantasy of being with Bella, because if it was really Bella, I would hear no thoughts.
"Edward, I'm, I'm..." Her voice is all wrong, too. It's much higher than Bella's.
"Shh," I tell her softly, moving my hand down to cup her neck. I breathe out as I lean in and kiss her lips very lightly. "Don't talk," I whisper against her skin as I kiss along her jaw and up toward her ear.
The smell of her blood is delicious. Not nearly as exquisite as Bella's scent, but I have to admit is it one of the most tantalizing scents I have encountered in years. I place soft kisses under her ear and down her throat.
"Bella," I whisper, imagining the skin I am kissing is actually that of my Bella. I sweep her hair back from her other ear and continue to languidly kiss her jaw and neck. When I reach her collarbone, I groan with the intensity of her scent. I always wanted to kiss Bella here. Back in Forks, I had avoided it all costs, knowing her natural scent and the proximity to her breasts to this area would have broken my control. But now I can indulge in my every want, my every desire, and I can have Bella the way I always wanted.
"Oh, God," she moans. I fight the urge to grimace as her voice pulls me from my fantasy.
"Don't speak," I growl as I move my mouth back up to her neck and nip at her flesh there. I move my hands to her knees and push her dress up toward her thighs. She tenses again and I whisper soothing words in her ear. As I find myself falling back into my fantasy, the words come easy.
"Mine, only mine."
"Oh, Bella. I want you so much, need you so much."
My words, my caresses, and my gentle kisses around her ear are working. Her head lulls back and she moans. I wrap my arms around her, kissing her exposed neck even more and leaving marks as I pull the blood to the surface of her pale skin. I can smell how aroused she is as she lies limply in my arms quivering with desire. I slowly lower her until she is lying on the blanket.
Her blood is rushing so fast, and coupled with the potency of the smell of her arousal, I am quickly losing control. I reach down and roughly pull the bodice of her dress apart, giving no mind to the buttons that are lost as the fabric easily rips under my strength. Her only response is another moan and a push of her hips up toward me. I smile; my Bella is always so eager, so passionate. I gently remove her breasts from the cups of her bra. At first, I can only stare at them, remembering all the times I wanted to touch her breasts when I held her as she slept in her bed in Forks. But tonight, I don't have to be restrained. I can touch, fondle, and knead. I can do all the things I've wanted to do for so long.
I tenderly caress her right breast as my lips find the equally perfect left globe. She jumps slightly and I'm sure the coolness of my touch is shocking. However, as her nipples harden, I know she is enjoying it. I carefully pull her nipple in to my mouth. God, it's so warm; so delicious. The blood in the veins in her areola seems to be beating just for me, taunting me; making me want to bite into her soft mound and enjoy the nectar that is waiting there for me.
I move my kisses downward and as I move, I rip the tattered dress from her, exposing her to me in her askew bra and small white lace panties. I groan at the sight of her heaving chest and quivering tummy.
Should I ask him about protection? Certainly he brought a condom.
I growl lowly as her inane thoughts once again interrupt my fantasy. Bella would know that I could not create a child and that birth control was irrelevant. In all of my fantasies of my first time with Bella, nothing of the sort is even discussed.
With an impatient sigh, I pull her panties down her legs and away from her, more roughly than I normally would due to my aggravation at her invading thoughts.
"Don't worry about a condom," I tell her dismissively as I struggle once again to tune out her thoughts.
Did I say something out loud about a condom?
I cut her protest off as I reach down and wrap my hand in her hair. I pull her face closer to me as I loom over her. I exhale and quickly feel her relax as my scent washes over her face. I whisper against her lips, "Don't you trust me?"
It works. She nods, her eyes hooded with lust. She is completely seduced, beguiled, dazzled. She will do whatever I want. With effort, I am once again able to tune out her thoughts.
I don't like seeing her hazel eyes. They confuse me. "Close your eyes," I order. "Keep them closed."
She nods and obeys my command as she swallows thickly. The motion brings my attention back to her neck and I watch the blood pulse through her left artery. Venom floods my mouth, but I swallow it back.
I kiss my way down her body, again imagining Bella beneath me. I pause as I kiss her flat stomach and whisper how sorry I am that I'm unable to give her children. I continue my kisses down until I am kissing the inside of her thighs. My Bella's hands are in my hair, urging me on; it feels so good. She has waited so long for this. We both have. I want to make this experience perfect for her.
I moan and my eyes roll back in my head when I reach her center. She is so wet, and her taste is on my tongue as soon as I open my mouth. I lick her languidly, relishing her cries of pleasure and the pulling of her hands in my hair. Before long, I am concentrating my efforts on her clit, my tongue circling it repeatedly as I move to insert a finger inside of her center. So hot and tight. My Bella has never been touched. She saved herself for me and I have saved myself for her.
I don't want to cause her unnecessary pain. I want to make this as special and pleasurable as possible for her.
I make tighter circles on her clit with my tongue as I move two fingers in her. She gasps and stiffens slightly from the additional intrusion. I hush her with loving words, telling her of my devotion and love for her. She relaxes and I resume thrusting my fingers into her slowly. Soon, she is flexing her hips in time with my thrusts. Her skin is flushed, and the blood rushing just under her folds indicates to me she is close to having her first orgasm. Her moans are constant now, and I urge her to say my name in her ecstasy. She screams my name as she releases. I relish the feel of her contracting around my fingers, and the taste of her essence on my lips.
I move quickly, knowing the penetration will hurt less while she is so wet and still reeling from her orgasm. I quickly strip my clothes, barely keeping up the pretense of moving at human speed. I hover over her as I line myself up at her entrance. I focus on her chest, watching it move quickly with her rapid breaths as I take my own calming breaths. When I feel in control enough to continue, I latch my mouth to the skin just above her left artery and let my tongue lap at her skin there.
"Oh God, Bella, I love you, forever!" I say, just as I push forward, moving slow, but steady. As I break the barrier of her innocence, she cries out. I pause my movements and I soothe her with whispered words of love.
"Bella, it was always you. I waited for you. Oh God, how long I waited for you!"
"You are mine forever! Nothing can separate us now."
After a few minutes, she makes a mewling sound and I can tell the pain has lessened. I begin moving again slowly, but keep my pace steady. I continue to kiss the skin along her artery. My teeth ache with the desire to sink into her skin and taste the red ambrosia flowing underneath.
Not quite yet.
Instead, I focus on the beauty of this moment. I have finally claimed my Bella. I have given her what she wanted from me. I have loved her the way a man should love a woman. Nothing can separate us now. I feel powerful. I feel complete.
I groan with the intense pleasure that courses through me as I pick up the pace of my thrusts. I pull back, resting my weight on one hand as I use the other to grip her left hip, giving myself leverage as I speed up my thrusts even more.
The moment is coming all too quickly. I'd hoped to make her orgasm again, but I can't hold it back any longer.
I reach up and move her head to the side, giving me a perfect view of her neck. My eyes, once again, focus in on her artery. "Bella, say it! Say you want me forever," I hiss as I fight the urge to thrust at vampire speed. I fight for restraint, knowing that without it, I will instantly crush her.
"Yes," she whispers.
"Tell me I can have you! All of you," I command urgently.
"Yes," she groans, her small hands clutching my hips.
Just then I feel the tell-tale tightening in my abdomen, and then in my testicles, I give in to my deepest, darkest desire. I groan as I lurch forward onto her body and sink my teeth into her neck, simultaneously emptying venom into her artery and her womb.
I cover her mouth with my left hand, using my right to keep her head still while I drink my fill.
I keep my hand tightly latched over her mouth as I move downward and sink my teeth into her left breast, drinking from her there as well. I know I am supposed to stop. If I want to turn my Bella and make her truly mine forever, I have to stop. But the heady mix of my orgasm and the relief of finally giving into my vampiric urges make it impossible. I surrender to the darkness and move down to her thigh as she becomes too weak to protest or scream. I sink my teeth into her right femoral artery and from there, I fully drain her.
Sometime later, maybe minutes, maybe hours, I am dressed and sitting on the blanket, my arms folded on my bent knees. I'm turned away from Marissa's body. I am no longer lost in my fantasy and I can no longer delude myself into believing she is Bella. The fantasy is over and I have once again, drained my victim. This happens every time. I take some solace in knowing just how fortunate it was that I never actually made love with my Bella. The overwhelming urge to bite when I mate would have been too hard to overcome. And as I now have proven, nine times, once I start, I cannot stop drinking during such an intimate act. This is the closest I will ever get to having Bella that way.
I sigh as I turn and prepare for the aftermath. I will dispose of the body and then go straight to Bella's grave. I will confess my sin to her, and beg her forgiveness as I do every year. I will receive the inevitable visit from Carlisle in a few days, where he will assure me of his love and his forgiveness. He will then beg me not to do this anymore, not to take any more innocent lives. He will urge me to deal with my pain and grief by coming home and letting my family help me. I will assure him this is the last time, but I will once again inform him that I can't yet return to the family until I fulfill my promise to Bella. He doesn't need to know that after Emily is gone, I will go to the Volturi and finally end this cycle of depravity.
But, as long as I am forced to exist, I need to do this. For approximately one hour out of each year, I grant myself a reprieve. I indulge in a fantasy where Bella is alive, is young, loves me, and we are together.
Emily is now thirty-nine years old, which means there will only be forty or fifty more victims before this all ends.
Thank you for reading. I am so happy and proud to report that this story won as Jasper Naughty Girls' blog's choice winner.
The picture prompt used for the contest was Prompt 8 from the contest. I am posting it to the Twilighted Forum for How to Win Back the Love of Your Existence/How to Get Your Balls back. If you want me to email you a copy, let me know.
Thank you Robin (Just Robin) for beta'ing this bad boy.
I would love to hear what you guys think.
This is a one shot that I will not be continuing. However, I did enter another entry called Breaking Away that I will likely be continuing...to be posted soon.