Title: Tiny and Big (1/1)
Summary: Arizona doesn't just see the tiny coffins anymore
Warnings/Spoilers: Post-White Wedding
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights for the characters and the world go to their owners (like Shonda Rhimes and ABC). I, in no way, believe – or would lead others to believe – that I own Grey's Anatomy. I am merely a fan of the television show who has ideas for things that Shonda could do/could've done.
Author's Note: Please review if you read.
(1/1) TINY AND BIG
Some mornings, Arizona couldn't even look at Callie. She couldn't handle seeing those baby loving eyes when she saw them break and splinter and fill with tears only seconds before in a nightmare. She tried making up for it with crazy nutritional supplements, but goo wouldn't stop the dreams. They continued to develop beyond the tiny coffins.
The first dream of its kind was short. Arizona stared blankly ahead in a long, black dress. No one spoke to her. No one looked at her. She asked, "Where's Calliope? Where's Callie?" Someone pointed down the hall. She followed as it got progressively lighter. So much so that she could hardly see the door at the end. She grabbed onto the handle and flung it open. Right on the inside of the door, directly at her feet, was a large casket. There's no point in saying who was inside of it. Arizona collapsed. Oddly enough, it was the first dream in a long time where Sofia didn't die. She crawled to Arizona and glared at the blonde as if Callie's death was entirely Arizona's fault. (Months later, Arizona would hope that the dream was anything but foreshadowing.)
Callie died in many different ways. Crashed plane on the way to Spain. Sunken cruise ship for their anniversary. Horrible disease caught in Africa. Cancer that spread to her heart and lungs. Shot by Gary Clark. Fire. Suicide. Car crash. She simply didn't wake up. Each dream started out the same. Each dream had that first moment where Callie said yes in the elevator and the doors closed between them. Then, they would open to whatever horrible circumstance took Calliope away.
It grew hard to tell what was reality and what was a dream. She would need to feel Calliope, to hear Calliope's voice and kiss her beautiful, beautiful wife just to convince herself that they were reality.
They were all alive. Sofia slept in her crib, peacefully and upright. Callie waltzed around the kitchen, sipping coffee and singing along to the radio. Hell, Mark sat on the couch, bragging about his latest surgery. Her family was alive and well. She wasn't. And she couldn't handle it alone.
"Calliope!" she called.
The singing stopped and Mark grew silent. A few seconds later, Callie peeked her head into the bedroom. Her face glowed. Could Arizona really pop her bubble?
Arizona plastered on a tiny smile and asked, "What's for breakfast?"
Callie stepped into the room and pecked Arizona on the lips. She grinned and said, "You'll just have to wait and see."
That seemed to be Arizona's specialty. All she did at night was wait and see how many hours she could actually stand it. That part, the being in anticipation, she could handle. She did handle.
She turned from Callie and grabbed her robe, tying it around herself. It was morning. She had a whole day for the living.
She wrapped her arms around her wife and said, "I love you."
Callie laughed lightly and returned the sentiment.
"I love you too, but the food is getting cold. I still can't believe you're not a morning person," Callie said.
It would have been the perfect moment to come out with it. 'I'm not a morning person because I have dreams of people dying, of you dying.' Arizona even opened her mouth to say it, but what came out was -
"Do I smell bacon?"
Callie broke away, nodding. "And eggs and pancakes and french toast and coffee and- don't look at me like that, it's a big day, today!"
Mark poked in, "Six months today, I officially became the father of that child in there. Don't ruin it for me, Robbins. Move! Move! Move!"
He rushed away again, probably off to pick up the aforementioned child. Callie pulled Arizona along, laughing once more.
The kitchen was decked out with flowers and food. Light streamed through the curtains. Sofia's highchair had a little tiara on top of it. Everything was beautiful and sappy and awesome. So why was Arizona sniffling?
"Are you okay?" Callie asked her just as Mark walked into the room with Sofia. They all looked at Arizona, though one was definitely less purposeful
Arizona couldn't go on like that anymore. She would tell Callie that night. See a therapist the next day. Sleep soundly a few weeks later. Her family was right there, and she'd be damned if she let some nightmares and imaginary coffins ruin that for her.
Arizona sniffled again, answering, "She's just getting so big."