Title: Beneath the Song
Summary: Arizona's thoughts during "Song Beneath the Song"
Warnings/Spoilers: Takes place during "Song Beneath the Song"
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights for the characters and the world go to their owners (like Shonda Rhimes and ABC). I, in no way, believe – or would lead others to believe – that I own Grey's Anatomy. I am merely a fan of the television show who has ideas for things that Shonda could do/could've done.
Author's Note: Please review if you read.
(1/1) BENEATH THE SONG
Everything moves around her as if she isn't even there. The world isn't spinning in circles because the only way that would happen would be if Callie was by her side. Callie isn't. Callie is on a cart. Callie is on a fricking cart being wheeled through elevators and yelled over by the people who care about her the most in the world. And Arizona is right here, still seeing the dull lights of that truck in front of her, still screaming for help and 911, still wiping at the blood on Callie's face in that damn ambulance that just didn't come fast enough. Why didn't it come faster? Why wasn't it there already? Just why?
Arizona blinks. A flurry of trauma gowns rushes by. She barely recognizes each person for who they are. Right now, they aren't Owen and Derek and Meredith and the Chief. They're these nameless doctors that pay her no mind. She didn't fly through a windshield. She only drove the car. She isn't pregnant. She only makes Callie drink sludge to keep the baby healthy. She isn't even next of kin. She's only the girlfriend who didn't get an answer to her proposal. Will she ever?
Callie might die without having her dream baby. Her dream baby might die never getting to meet her. Arizona could die without either of them in her life ever again. And what would she do then? Sit back and listen as Mark Sloan falls apart over his best friend and his last chance at parenting since Lexie is off with Avery now. Get blamed for this. Die herself.
She should have left Callie's phone alone. If she didn't throw it in the back, Callie would have never unbuckled her seatbelt. Or, she should have been watching the road and waiting until she got to the B&B like planned. She doesn't even have a ring yet. She shouldn't have rushed it. She should have just never come back from Africa - never gone to Africa. She did this to herself and to Callie and to Mark.
Then again, Mark was texting Callie. He knew it was their special time, and he invaded it. He invaded like he always does into everything involving Callie. Calliope is Arizona's girlfriend, not Mark's. He should have left her alone. He should have been a man and taken the news of Jexie in stride. He should have comforted Callie without getting her pregnant in the process. He did this.
But, can she blame it on him that he's addicted to Callie? Everyone is. Maybe Callie should be less beautiful, and accepting, and understanding, and loving, and perfect. Maybe it's Callie's fault. She should have worn the damn seatbelt. She should have never checked her phone. She should have answered. She should have said yes. She should have said, 'Arizona, I will marry you because I couldn't imagine anyone else meaning as much to me as you do. We'll grow old together, and we won't have ten kids. But, we'll have Mark and this baby, and that'll probably be just as much work. And I love you. I love you and I will marry you.'
It's nobody's fault. It's everybody's. It's the truck driver's. It's the bed and breakfast's. It's God's.
The whole thing sinks in just a bit more. The crash, the ambulance, the doctors. They're her friends. Her family. Will Callie ever get to see them again? Maybe not.
The flurry of trauma gowns is gone by the time she says it, but she still does because saying it is the only way she can believe this is happening.
"I asked her to marry me, and a truck came out of nowhere."