I know I started to write another Jori story but this just came to me and didn't fit with the story of the other one so I made it a new story. :) x I
I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what I felt, who I loved, if I wanted him back, why I felt the need to go see Tori, why as much as I tried to hide it I actually like Vega, why every since she had been my 'friend' I'd not felt so bad and was able to forget about my parents , everything, when I was with her.
' I don't want him back...' Tori stopped her rant about how we were going to get Beck back when I said those words, she'd been talking for 5 minutes and it was getting annoying.
' I don't want Beck back.' I said it stronger this time, truly realising that I didn't and not just trying to get Vega to shut up.
'Then , why are you here?' She sounded kind of annoyed.
'I don't know , Vega. Why am I here!' I let the words come out and added a bit of bitterness , stood and attempted to leave for the door. I hated seeing the hurt on her face but this was kind of a weird thing for me to do and I couldn't let myself show her , me. She could humiliate me instantly.
'No, Jade, please stay.' She said kindly and touched my arm , stopping me in my tracks.
I couldn't help but listen to her, she really wanted me here. She really cared, unlike my drunk mother , my 'over-worked' father and my unconcerned boyfr- ex-boyfriend.
' Fine' I huffed and sat down again and she sat beside me as I (unsuccessfully) tried to hold back my tears.
After Jade burst into tears ; I didn't know what to do. She was so closed off and - (for lack of a better word) mean normally that it frightened me to see her like that. I used to think that she could just not show any other emotion than , well , pissed off but I was beginning to think she was just hiding her feelings.
It scared me that she was usually so strong but now she was vulnerable and I was usually weak so what would happen if... It scared me that her walls were falling and that it was around me.
' Jade...It's ok.' It was kind of awkward with her face in the cushion so I patted her back for comfort.
' I'm not crying over him' she blurted through the now calming sobs. She raised her head, moved closer to me, wrapped her arm around my waist and rested for head against my shoulder.
I was fine with it , it was really nice but I was shocked , I mean Jade West was laying on MY shoulder with tears down her face, Jade West!
' It's ok Jade, tell me when you want to.' I could tell she needed it, something was really bothering her.
'I'm sorry.' Wow, I was surprised with this 'new' Jade.
'Come on Tori, I'm so mean to you and you treat me better than anyone ever has.' Tears form again in her eyes and I wipe a tear that falls.
'Don't cry, it might ruin your reputation.' I joked trying to lighten the dark mood. She smiled.
'I think Beck already did that and I don't care about that anymore. I just can't keep my feelings that far hidden anymore, I lost myself in the act.'
I smiled at her confession.' I knew you weren't that mean.' She laughed this time, moving closer into my side.
'Thank-you Tor , I know I might not show it but you always make you happy ... and the only reason I was mean because I was so jealous, of you. You have it all ; your voice is amazing ; you're great at acting ; you are so amazing at everything ; everyone loves you , even me and you're beautiful...'
I was (yet again) shocked at the words coming out of Jade West's mouth. ' I'm not that great Jade, thank-you but I'm not.' I blushed anyway at her comment, the new found closeness was making it hard for me to think straight, (no pun intended)
I didn't mean to say those things, they're true but it might seem a little weird especially with us sat like this.
'You are Tor don't hide it.'I wasn't gonna hide it anymore, I wasn't just gonna tell her but I couldn't 'hate' her anymore.
'Okay...well this isn't weird.' Trina was stood looking confused half way down the stairs. I moved away slightly from Tori ,still sat so our legs touched softly.
'...um...I...She was upset, I was comforting her, not that you would know anything about that...'
'Oh whatever Victoria , I don't care about your sad pathetic life.' She stormed of into the kitchen. I always hated her but I thought this was more of a sister fight where they loved each other really.
' It's kind of late , won't your parents be worried?' She spoke worried and kind of embarrassed from the Trina incident and possibly her own reaction which was to turn bright red. (Why would she blush, I mean she can't feel like I do.)
' I don't want to sound rude or pushy and I really hate to ask and you can say no , but would you mind if I stayed here for the night. It's just that...' Might as well tell Tori , she might care . I tried to say 'Mymum' and I kind of get put in the middle of everything somehow .' It sounded nothing like the sentence I had thought in my head and probably just sounded like a jumble to her.
' Of course Jade, I'm sorry...' 'We can watch a film upstairs?' I could tell she wanted to avoid the awkward conversation and I did too so I followed her in silence.
Once we were upstairs Tori passed me some pyjamas , got her own and got changed in her bathroom.
'Are you sure this is ok ? I really don't want to push my way into your home with some sob story.'
'Yes, Jade. Its a bit weird though, this afternoon at school you were shouting at me because you thought I breathed on your sandwich.' She smiled her innocent smile which made me laugh.
'Yeah well I don't want germs.' I joked back.
'And you think I would do that' placing her hand on her chest in innocence and smiling her innocent smile again.
' Yes, Tor, yes you would.' We smiled at each other.
'What's with that? Not that I mind the change from the last name thing.' We were still stood up at the bathroom door so she grabbed my hand and dragged me to the bed. She didn't let go of my hand once we were both sat on it , the contact made me forget about everything and I could only stare at our clasped hands.
'...Jade...you alive in there?'She snapped me out of it but our hands were still together and it sent shiver down my spine.
' Yeah ...I...umm...' I pulled my hand away and suddenly blushed at how damp it felt.'Sorry...I...you..'
'Jade, don't.' To my surprise she slowly tuck my hand again after she turned on some sobby girl film.
I knew it, I knew Jade felt the same! She had to , the signs were there: she came to me when she broke up with her boyfriend ; she told me she didn't want him back; she confessed why she 'hated' me ;she confessed several other things that I'm pretty sure she hasn't told anyone else; she , Jade West, was shuttering ; her hand was moist when I held it.
'Just leave it Tor.' She said as she intertwined our fingers and put her head on my shoulder , moving close into me.
I didn't want to get into it now, the thing I'd been feeling since I first saw her, I wasn't jealous of her , I was jealous of Beck I wanted her to look at me like that. She was, wasn't she? Looking at me with her those beautiful brown eyes.
I knew she was asleep so I turned the film off, slowly moved so that she would move down to put her head on her pillow , I put my head back next to hers and slowly held her hand which was resting on her leg.
I couldn't say this, ever, to her when she was conscious. ' I...I love you, Tori... You're the only person that ever cared and you're still my friend after the way I treated you. I'm sorry.'
I felt her grip on my hand tighten slightly and her mumble the words ' I love you too.' She smiled still with her eyes closed, she was definitely awake and I smiled too, glad I'd finally told her.
It wasn't such a stupid idea after all, I had fallen asleep but I woke up when I felt her let go of my hand to turn the TV off ; so I thought I'd just pretend to be asleep and maybe she would tell me what was really bothering her. She did, she told me. I had only dreamed that she felt the same but I never thought she actually did.
'I'm in love you, Jade. I love you, I love you I love you.'
'I get it Tor ...I love you too. Just shh.' She turned around in the bed so we were facing and our noses were nearly touching.
'Ok' she pouted and I couldn't help but move my face forward slowly to kiss her perfect lips. She moved forward too and when we met shivers ran through my whole body .It was the best kiss ever and she pulled away too soon but I let her.
'Wow.' She sighed as she left our foreheads touching.
'What, do you want?'
'Just you, I don't care Tor, whatever you want. If you don't want to tell anyone then that's fine , if you do then that's fine too.'
'Well...umm... I meant snacks? I can't sleep now so we should watch another film, you can pick this one.'
'Oh...well...popcorn...' I blushed. She laughed.
'It's ok, I wanted to know that anyway , and thanks' she blushed a little too.
' You know , that last film wasn't that bad , you pick again.' I smiled at her, she was so beautiful and I couldn't get over what had just happened.
'You really are going soft, aren't you? ' she laughed.
' No! And even if I were it's your fault.'
' How's it my fault?'
' Because you care and you're happy and you make me happy which makes it harder to hide how I'm feeling.'
' Well then I'm glad' she smiled smugly at me. ' But you should really stop telling me all these things. I don't think I'll be able to not feel bad because you barely know anything about me and I might not let you go back to who you were.'
I laughed at her, there was no way I was going back anyway. My phone buzzed from my jeans pockets on the floor. I reluctantly got up and answered it, Tori was pouting again.
'I'm so sorry Jade, I was stupid, really really stupid. Take me back please I love you.'
'Beck, I don't want you back, there's no point in trying.'
'I'm sorry Beck.'
' I'm not gonna give up, not till you take me back.'
'I do-' he hung up, not letting me say no.
Now Tori looked worried. ' Is everything ok?'
'Yeah, just Beck wants me back and I don't want to hurt him, he won't give up though. I know him.'
I saw her thinking for a few minutes ' I don't want to hide.'
'What?' I didn't understand.
' I don't want to hide us.'
'Oh, good, I don't think that I could.' I sat back down on the bed and moved for her lips.
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