Gilbert stares at the blank page. It has been a half hour since he opened the Microsoft Word document and it is still blank. He glances at the tiny clock at the bottom right hand corner on his laptop and panics when he realizes it is almost midnight.

And he still hasn't started. So of course, Gilbert decides to do what any diligent 16 year old student would do in a situation like this.

He goes on MSN.

Awesome has just signed in

Francis says:

* how far are you on the English assignment?

Awesome says:

* lol i didn't start yet

* u?

Francis says:

* im still reading the book

Awesome says:

* lol wasn't the notes for hte book due last week?

Francis says:

* oui

Awesome says:

* n u didn't finish?

Francis says:

* oui

Awesome says:

* niiice

Tomatoes~! has just signed in

Awesome says:

* dude toni's online

* add him into the convo

Tomatoes~! has been added to the conversation

Awesome says:

* sup?

Tomatoes~! says:

* hi guys!

* I just finished the English thing!

Francis says:

* ...

Awesome says:

* ...

* is that u, toni?

Tomatoes~! says:

* yup it's me :D

* why?

Francis says:

* are you sick, cher?

Tomatoes~! says:

* i don't think so...whY/

* why?*

Awesome says:

* since when do U do hmwrk?

Tomatoes~! says:

* since lovi said i was stupid ._.

* so now i do all my hmwrk so i can prove him wrong!

Francis says:

* you are

Awesome says:


Francis says:

* so clearly in love with lovino

* ...

* and whipped, gilbert's right about that too

* oh shit – papa's calling me

* im not supposed to be online atm

Awesome says:

* aiight

* see u tmrw

Francis says:

* only if i finish the book tonite

Awesome says:

* dam i wish my dad'd let me do that

* but he's got a stick up his ass like luddy

Francis says:

* lol sucks

* k bye

Francis has just signed out

Tomatoes~! says:

* bye francis!

Awesome says:

* lol fail toni – francis already left

Tomatoes~! says:

* aha whoops :D

* i shoud go to sleep nwo too – i promised mi padre that i'll try to stop coming late to school all the time

Awesome says:

* D:



Tomatoes~! says:

* but i have to D:

* srry

Tomatoes~! has just signed out

Awesome says:

* u suck.

Awesome has just signed out

Gilbert glares at the blank document. It's totally taunting him with its blinding whiteness.

After a five minute stare-off with the blank document, Gilbert's eyes begin to water. He breaks contact, vowing to get revenge on the blank document later. It is then he notices that it is 12:36.

"Argh!" he lets out, pulling at his white-blonde hair.

"Gilbert?" a voice asks and Gilbert looks up to see his younger brother, Ludwig, peek into the older boy's bedroom, looking concerned.

"Yeah?" Gilbert asks.

"Are you alright? I thought I heard screaming," Ludwig asks. Gilbert shoots him a grin.

"You must've been hearing things – go back to your homework," he says teasingly. Ludwig's eyes narrow.

"Why did you say that weird?" Ludwig asks suspiciously. Gilbert is the picture of innocence.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replies with wide eyes. Ludwig rolls his own.

"Go back to doing your homework – you don't want vati to hear you not working," Ludwig advises him and Gilbert scowls.

"I'm doing my homework. I'm almost done it," he lies. Ludwig looks disbelieving.

"Is that why your Word sheet is blank?" Ludwig asks. Crap. Gilbert glances at the offending paper; he had forgotten it was still up there. He turns back to reply, but Ludwig's already gone, probably to go jack off to some creepy shit as usual.

"Loser," Gilbert mutters under his breath. He turns back to his laptop. The blank document is still staring back at him. "Okay," he says, taking a deep breath in, "I can do this – it should be pretty easy to write an essay about Memoirs of a Geisha or something. There's only..." he glances at the little clock on his laptop, "only six hours until sunrise." Gilbert lets out a nervous laugh. "I can do this."

Memoirs of a Geisha – an essay

By: Gilbert Awesome Beilschmidt

Gilbert grins. There; that's ten words done. Only a drillion more left to go. Now, what to write? Gilbert grimaces; maybe reading the book would've helped. But since he doesn't have a copy of the book on him and he wouldn't have read it anyways, Gilbert decides to do the next best thing.

He texts Kiku.

Yo do u no neting bout geishas?

He barely has to wait for a reply; Kiku's text comes 30 seconds later.


Well, that was certainly helpful.

isnt ur mom a geisha?

After all, Kiku is Japanese, so it makes sense. Gilbert grins at his intelligence and is sure that if he manages to get a first hand interview or whatever from a legit geisha, it'll make his essay even better [even though he knows that has nothing to do with the book]. Gilbert's phone buzzes with Kiku's text.


Gilbert lets out a sigh of annoyance. It's obvious that Kiku isn't going to be any help today.

Ur a jerk! |:(

Well, since that didn't work, Gilbert decides to do some work.


Not really.

Okay, he decides to go on Facebook.

Gilbert Awesome Beilschmidt

English essays suck.

2 seconds ago · Comment · Like
8 people like this

Unfortunately, that isn't as effective as Gilbert had hoped it'd be. He scans the list of people online on Facebook and groans at the fact that there is no one to talk to. Well, there is Raivis and Eduard but Gilbert barely knows them and can't even remember when he added them.

"Kill me," Gilbert moans, slamming his face onto his desk. Why is this so hard? Gilbert smirks a little; that's what she said.

He glances at the clock casually as he chuckles to himself [chuckles – not giggling; giggling's for pansies like Roderich] and the air in his mouth makes him choke.

1: 14 AM

"What the hell?" Gilbert exclaims, staring at the clock in horror. Did it really take him that long to go on Facebook? All he did was make a status update! And play Farmville a little. And Mafia Wars [Lovino was beating him, he had to fight back!]. Okay, so maybe it did take him that long to go on Facebook. "My life sucks," Gilbert moans, staring at the open word document.

It's still blank, save for those 10 words he wrote like an hour ago. And now there's only 5 hours left. So finally, Gilbert decides to start using his brain and do something productive.

He calls Arthur.

"Hello?" the distinctively British voice says on the other line.

"Yo Artie," Gilbert replies, "wanna do my English homework for me?"

"...are you serious?" Arthur asks. Of course Gilbert's being serious; why would Gilbert joke about something like this?

"Yeah..." Gilbert replies.

"I'm not going to do your bloody homework just because you're too lazy to!" Arthur fumes from the other line.

"But Arthur," Gilbert whines, "you like doing shit like this. Didn't you read Memoirs of a Geisha? You could totally write my essay!"

"You read it too; you do your own bloody work," Arthur snaps.

"You're no fun," Gilbert grumbles. What happened to the old Arthur? The one who used to harass kids and was all badass and stuff [not as badass as Gilbert, of course, but close]?

"Why thank you," Arthur replies and before Gilbert can say anything, hangs up.

"Douche," Gilbert says into the phone. His only reply is the dial tone. He hangs up and tosses his cell phone back onto his desk. He still hasn't written anything more. So he calls Elizaveta. Maybe she can help – that is, if she's not too busy helping her douche of a boyfriend, [icky, pansy] Roderich.

"Gilbert?" a groggy voice answers after 15 rings.

"Hey Lizzie!" Gilbert says cheerfully. He hears a groan.

"Dude it's like 1 in the morning – why are you calling me?" Elizaveta demands, her words slurred from sleep.

"I need help with my English essay," Gilbert replies.

"And you ask me now?" Elizaveta demands. "Dude you're so gonna get beaten up at school, just you watch," she threatens.

Gilbert laughs it off. "As if you could hurt my awesome face! Anyways, how do I write an essay for Memoirs of a Geisha?" he asks.

"Uh... start with the introduction?" Elizaveta suggests.

"That's a good idea – what should it be?" Gilbert asks. He hears Elizaveta sigh.

"You're not going to let me sleep until you finish your stupid project, are you?" Elizaveta asks.

"Yup!" Gilbert replies cheerfully. Elizaveta sighs again.

"Okay, let's start with the first sentence..."

It is 5: 43 AM and the sun is close to rising; the sky has gotten lighter and Gilbert thinks he can hear birds chirping.

Either that, or his sleep deprived mind is finally hearing things.

"And...done!" Gilbert exclaims, saving the finished essay [6 pages baby, who's totally gonna get a 90%? This guy!] and printing it.

"Mmmff," Elizaveta replies, but Gilbert ignores her. She's been saying stuff like that around the 4 o'clock mark, so Gilbert supposes that the girl fell asleep or something unawesome like that. Hanging up his cell phone so he can get his freshly printed essay, Gilbert stands up for the first time in hours. His knees crack like his grandfather as he walks to the printer. He scans over the essay again before stapling it and stuffing it into his backpack.

He smirks as he flops onto his bed to get some last minute shut eye before getting ready for school. He can't wait to see his teacher's face when he handed in his super awesome essay on time.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Antonio asks as Gilbert stumbles into the classroom. Gilbert shoots him a grin.

"A good half hour of it!" he says cheerfully. "Why?"

"You look like a vampire," Antonio says, pointing out the very visible bags under Gilbert's eyes. Goddamn his pale skin!

"Alright class, settle down," the teacher says, standing up, though 'class' is a bit of an exaggeration. Gilbert glances around the room and notices that there's only 5 people in class; him, Antonio, Arthur, that kid who looks like Alfred, and Yao. He supposes that Francis never did get to reading his book. "Since there's an obvious amount of students missing today, I've decided to postpone the essay's deadline," she states.

It takes three seconds for it to register in Gilbert's brain.

"Wait, what?" Gilbert demands, leaping to his feet. "You can't give us a deadline – I worked so hard on my essay!" he exclaims.

"That's good for you, Gilbert. Unfortunately, most of the class didn't so I'm afraid I'll have to do that," the teacher replies.

"Why can't you just fail them or something; I stayed up all night for this stupid piece of shit – it's not fair!" Gilbert yells.

Gilbert spends the rest of his day in the Principal's Office, still fuming over that changed due-date.

A/N: [The End] Hee, this request was fun to fill~! It's kinda based off my own struggles with my English essay [I did Memoirs of a Geisha too]. Fun fact: my msn screen name is the same as Gilbert's.