AN: My second The Great Gatsby story. This one is also a project I had to do for English. I hope you all like it! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Great Gatsby. F. Scott Fitzgerald does.
Many years have long since past since I was first created, my sapphire eyes rising above the world on a mountain of ash and a palace of steel. I can still remember the feelings that had raced through me in those early days, fear, joy, wonder, and pride twisting together within my cardboard to give me my mainly imagined power. At the time, I had thought myself godly, the powerful supports that my base raising me high above those pitiful creatures to proclaim the name of my lord and master, the one I had to thank for life, to the world around. 'Doctor T.J. Eckleburg,' I had screamed, drawing the eyes of all who passed. For them, I was a messenger from God himself.
But no longer do I entertain such foolish notions. Life has made sure of that.
No longer do I keep track of the endless days that pass with the repetitive dance of the sun and moon, the two rising and falling in a swirling circle of life, death, and rebirth. No longer do I morn for the days when the stains of rust did not weaken my home, nor for the hours when I was free of the skittering slap of mice feet as they come to feast on my exposed center. Instead, I turned my gaze towards the creatures I had once scorned, watching their comings and goings with a weary interest that comes from the passing of the ages.
Funnily enough, although most of my more recent memories- with recent being a relative term, for time lost all meaning for my long ago-have faded and blurred as the creatures lived and died beneath my gaze, I can still remember the day my newest set of pets moved into the house across the way, a young newly wedded couple that held an entire world of possibilities in their hands. Or so one would have thought, as the passage of time proved my initial assessment wrong.
Perhaps the memory is so poignant because, even then, when my eyes had first sought them out, an invisible poison had been spreading through their lives, tainting what should have been the happy tasks of having a family and making a home with the bitter feelings of disgust, sorrow, and hate. Even the underlying thrum of love had not been enough to dispel the evil cloud that hung over their house, and for the longest time, I will admit, I had no idea as to why.
It did not take long for me to discern where each of the emotions was spilling from, to find out that the love belonged solely to the male of the couple, while the smothering blanket of negative emotions bled from the wounded heart of the female. This I could not understand. The male, while not of the highest order of the species, I will give her that, was a good, honest, hard working man who did his best to provide for his little family. They may have been without many of the luxuries I had seen driving by during my time looking over this road, but, by all means they should have been happy. So why weren't they?
My question was answered when he arrived.
At first, his arrival at my pet's domain was not noteworthy, for it had seemed to me that he was just another rich traveler stopping by to revitalize the strange beasts the creatures rode in on his way into the city. And to any other pair of eyes, that is exactly what it would have been. He stayed for no more then a few minutes, idly chatting with my male as his beast feasted upon the dark liquid that rose from the ground. My female hovered in the doorway, her hands wringing a piece of cloth in an uncharacteristic bought of nervousness, as if she was eager for her husband to return from the slowly fading twilight into the warm embrace of their humble home. Confused, I watched on with baited breath as the man in the beast pulled out some paper from his pocket, handed them over to my male, and waited quietly as my male shuffled off around the side of the house to go get something else in return for those crinkled bills.
In a single flash, my world turned up side down.
The moment my male disappeared from view, my female was at the other's side, her head bent in an arch as her lips sought out his, her arms entwining around his neck in an embrace more intimate then she had ever graced her husband with. The other male murmured something against her throat then, for her head automatically started to nod, a desperate movement that reflected the want in her eyes. Then, just as fast as the encounter had started, it ended, with my female returning to her home just as her husband came around the corner, a pile of bills and coins carefully clutched in his hands. Handing them to the man within the beast, the two said a quick farewell before the other one drove off, leaving my male standing alone in a bright circle of light that did nothing to lighten the clouds that covered his sight.
The man in the beast had looked straight into the eyes of mine, smiled, and drove off, all the while still tasting another man's wife on his lips.
Although that man in the beast only came around a few times during the next couple of months, I could not, and did not, try to curb the wretched hatred that grew within me, turning the dusty gray world that surrounded me a pounding red, one that would have given me the strength to hurtle my entire being onto his beast had my own self preservation not held me back. He was ruining my male's one chance at happiness with the woman he loved, and for that I hated him.
Most of the time, I remember watching as my female wandered out of her house during the middle of the day, calling to her husband some form of instructions or excuse before running off towards the train station, her eyes sparkling as man her way towards her disgrace of a lover. Occasionally he would come with one or two of his friends, heading out to meet either my female in town right under her husband's nose or to find more friends to spend his time with. It was on one of these nights, after he had stopped in a yellow beast to see my male, that it happened.
Hours had passed since the other male had first visited, more then enough time for the yellow beast that rounded the bend to be his. For a while now, my humans had been fighting, my female struggling for release from my male's property, pleading for the freedom that had never been hers to begin with. Somehow, just as the beast was coming towards the house, my female had somehow managed to get loose, to extract herself from the tight bounds that held her to my male.
She ran straight towards the yellow beast, her eyes searching for her forbidden love.
Even before she fell to the ground with a dull thud, I knew she was dead.
Without warning, as the yellow monster drove off into the night, a high pitched keening filled the air as my male ran to his wife, his eyes wide in shock as his neighbors crowded around him, pulling him away from the massacre even as they themselves pushed forward to get a better look at the sprawled body. A blur of activity sped up time then, pausing for a few moments as the police pulled in, fighting to restore order to the chaotic scene. It stopped again when he arrived, sitting proud and tall in a blue beast that did the man, the other man that had stolen the heart of my female, justice. He stayed only for a minute, maybe two, before leaving, tears dripping down his face as drove off after the yellow into the darkness. From then on, time continued faster then it had ever before, spinning my head until I felt nothing at all for the horror below me. Turning my eyes to the sky, I waited.
By morning, my human had disappeared.
It has been a long time since that night happened, long enough for the building that had once been the home of my most beloved pets to fall into disrepair. It has also been a long time since I last gave up hope that my human male would ever return to me, easing the pangs of loneliness with his presence. Just like he had needed a god, and so had found one in me, so I too had needed a companion, and so had found one within him. I needed him, wanted him, but so he was gone.
Funnily enough, I can remember everything for the short while my humans lived within the house across the way, for they stand out amongst the blur of faces that I have seen in my many years. If one was come walking down that road right now, even mixed into a crowd that spilled over the side of the street and onto the tracks that edged the property, I would still know them, for they were mine. But amazingly, if this is even possible, there is one thing I remember even better then the faces of my two humans.
Just a few days after my female died and my male went missing, I can remember the sight of three somber funeral cars parading down the lane, making their way towards the upper class cemetery that stood at the edge of town. The sight of those three cars, carrying the body of some human I had never know, that I had no ties to, struck me for some reason, implanting two desires deep within my cardboard center.
The first of these desires was that I could cry, that I could cry and scream and weep to release the pain that grew within me, a pain that had nothing to do with rot or being eaten. It was a pain that I still carried with me today, one that I still longed to release in the shimmering coolness of a single tear that held all the hurt in the world. I would cry for my humans, both lost far too soon, and for that person I had never known, yet had come to love in the single passing of his coffin down my road. I would cry for those who were hurt and lost in this twisted game called life, for those who dared to dream and reach for their happiness, and for those who struggled to hold on when they should have long since let go.
I would cry for myself.
The second desire goes much deeper then the first, a single yearning that had woven itself into my very being, my very existence. It was a whispered wish that rose up to consume my mind each night as I searched the horizon for the dawn, waiting with a kindled hope that my prayer would be answered the next day. Although my hope has proven false, I can always wait until tomorrow to see if my god will finally answer.
My second desire was that, if it would set me free from this accursed duty as the eyes of God, that I would finally die and be allowed to join my humans.
AN: Thanks for reading everybody! I hope you liked it!:)