Disclaimer. I don't own Harry Potter. Unfortunately i'm not JKR.
That name had been floating around in Hermione's head for the past weeks. He was the only thing she could think and dream about. She would spend hours and hours laying awake in bed at night just thinking about how it would be like if she had told him that she loved him all these time. She wasn't stupid. She knew that Ron has feelings for her.
But why he hasn't said anything? Why is he so afraid? Is it the war? Is it that he still has feelings for Lavender? Or is it me?
Maybe it was only her imagination. Maybe Ron had never show any signs of attraction to her. Maybe it was all in her head. Was she really that desperate to believe that Ron fancy her that she misunderstood his actions? No, it can't be. "No, i'm sure he fancies me. There are so many evidence".
Compliments. He always found time to express his admiration for her intelligence, calling her smart, genius or the most amazing compliment ever, when he said to her that she is the most wonderful person he ever met in his life! Well, these are not the typical compliments a girl dying to hear, but every time he says something nice about her she feels like she's the happiest person alive. She still had dreams about that time when he told her "i love you". He only said that because I helped him with his homework, but a girl can dream, right? Just hearing those three words coming out of his mouth was enough to cause Hermione endless nights of romantic and sometimes naughty dreams.
Jealousy. All she had to do is say Viktor's name and Ron's face turn red with anger. At first she thought it was because Viktor was a triwizard champion and Harry's opponent. He had to support his best friend, right? Even against his Quidditch hero. But Ron was angry with Harry too during that time so she started to wonder what made him feel so much hate for Viktor. Then it hit her.
I went with Viktor to the Yule Ball. Ron asked me to go with him. Well that if you call the "Hey, you are girl. Come with one of us" a proper invitation and I refused. I choose Viktor over Ron. Not that Ron ever wanted to go with me in the first place. He was just out of options and he thought that someone like me could never get a date, so he would do me a favour. A favour! I showed him though! His shocked face when he saw me. His eyes widen, his mouth on the floor and the blood rising up his face showing his clear anger. I honestly thought he was going to hit someone!
Protection. She'll never admit that to Ron, but every time Draco and his buffoons calling her names like "filthy mudblood" and he goes all mad at them and he tries to protect her, she feels wonderful. Hermione knew from the start not to paying attention to what pathetic losers like Malfoy could say, but Ron is another story. Ron is like her own Knight in Shining Armor. Every time someone insults her, he is there to defend her and comfort her. He doesn't let anyone to hurt her. Other than him of course. I suppose he is the only one allowed to hurt my feelings , Hermione thought bitterly. Ron is the only one who can make her feel truly happy or deeply hurt and he doesn't even know.
Himself. Ron can't hide his feelings. I see the way he looks at me sometimes and I know what that look means, because it's the same as mine. The first thing he does when he sees me, is to give me a smile. Oh, that smile... And then we start a bicker. I'm sure he's doing it for the same reason as me. He wants my attention as I crave for his. So we start bickering. We are not fighting. Sometimes I see Harry how scared he is that one of our rows would go out of control and we are going to say something that would ruin our friendship. But he can't understand. Ron and i know the line and we never cross it. We bicker because we want to. It's our thing.
Her-my-nee. I can still hear him saying my name, lying on that hospital bed, almost dead. Despite his pain and unconsciousness , he had me on his mind. Not Lavender, not Harry, but Me. How do you react to something like that? I wanted to hug him and kiss him like there was no tomorrow, but I restrained myself. After all, even if I kissed him he wouldn't know it because of his condition. So I wait. I wait for him to get better. Foolishly I thought that his nearly-death experience would make him see that it's pointless to fight his feelings. That he should start taking risks because life is too short. But 7 months later i'm still waiting.
Tomorrow we'll go get Harry from the Dursleys. It's dangerous. I don't even want to think what's going to happen if we have to face Death Eaters. Are we ready? We weren't in the Department of Mysteries. I almost die. What if tomorrow is the last day of my life? What if tomorrow I actually die? I already saved my parents by sending them to Australia with changed memories. But what about me? I've never told Ron about my feelings. I don't want to die without telling him that I love him. I must tell him now! I wonder if he's sleeping. Well, there is one sure way to find out...
Hermione climb up the stairs to the second floor and found herself outside Ron's bedroom. After a moment of hesitation she knocked gently the wooden door.
"It's open" Ron, almost yelled.
Hermione open the door and slowly walked inside and closed the door behind her. "Hey, it's me."