Dear Readers, I know that this story has been up for a bit. I am glad you found it. It is kind of a staying in/coming out sort of story. Alternating angst, humor, romance, drama… well a bit of everything really. I hope you enjoy it and even if you don't, please consider reviewing it. I always love to hear from you and appreciate the opportunity to learn and improve in regard to my stories.




Hiroki's mother has figured out a way to find out what is really going on in the life of her closemouthed son. Will Hiroki come out of the closet or only end up going further in?

This story emerged from an old joke that someone told me and I thought it would be amusing to see it put into play with this couple and their situation.

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or any of its characters.

Rated: T or PG-13

Contains: Mild language, mild violence and adult situations

The Spatula Test

Chapter One: Preparations

Nowaki watched as Hiro-san nervously fluffed and then straightened and then fluffed his thick auburn hair again while looking at himself in the hallway mirror. He'd been doing this off and on for the last fifteen minutes. Nowaki thought it was just too cute, but as much as he wanted to say something he didn't. Hiro-san had been adamant about having him practice his restraint all week.

Hiroki turned when he noticed the big goof watching him over his shoulder, biting his lip. He knew that his boyfriend was fighting not to tell him how adorable he looked. The anxious blush on Hiroki's face deepened. While Nowaki had been able to curb his verbal commentary, at least in part, Hiroki had no idea what he was going to do to tone down the blatant look of affection in the tall man's eyes.

He had a bad feeling about this whole situation. Instead of articulating his anxiety however, he snapped.

"Don't just stand there like an idiot! You're sure that everything is okay. We haven't forgotten anything?"

"No Hiro-sa… Hiroki." Nowaki had caught himself just in time. It seemed so foreign to be using his lover's first name. He remembered a time when he had desperately wished for his lovely professor to allow him to address him as such, but now he only wanted to be able to return to his dear "Hiro-san" as soon as possible. "Everything is perfect."

Nowaki gestured with one of his long arms sweeping the room. The apartment was immaculate; even all Hiro-san's books were neatly stacked. There was an elaborate flower arrangement on the kitchen table he'd brought home from the florist shop where he was still moonlighting and he had made sure to prepare everything so that when he cooked dinner tonight the meal would be seamless.

"And your room? You made sure you didn't leave anything incriminating out? Nothing embarrassing?" Concern furrowed Hiroki's lovely brows.

"Like what Hiro-sa…Hiroki?" Nowaki asked innocently.

Hiroki ground his teeth. "You know, you big dork!"

"I'm sure I don't." Nowaki replied his blue eyes guileless. Though actually he did, he just thought Hiro-san's shyness was so sweet he could not help but be just a little bit wicked.

Hiroki could barely bring himself to say the words out loud. "We talked about this before. You know…" his abnormally quiet voice slipped even lower. "Lube, toys, that ridiculous maid costume you bought me for Valentine's Day, that you refused to burn like I told you to."

"Oh, those things." Nowaki's face lit up in a beatific smile. "Of course Hiro-san, I tucked all those things away. I am sure that your mother will never find them."

Hiroki was so relieved that he didn't even scold Nowaki for slipping with his name.

"I am so delighted that your mother is coming to stay with us for a whole week," Nowaki went on cheerfully. "I have been wanting to meet her for so long. She always sounds so nice when we speak on the phone."

"Hrrumph," Hiroki growled. "Well that makes one of us whose happy she's visiting." He went back to nervously mussing his hair.

The lady Kamijou had been waiting for years for an invitation to see her son in his professional life, but Hiroki had successfully been able to keep her at bay until today. Now that all of her friend's children were married and many bouncing grandchildren joyfully on their knees, Hiroki's mother had decided finally that she could stand their gloating faces no longer. She had determined she must see her only son's life for herself and figure out what she could do, as a concerned parent, to help him find his way down what seemed to be for him an elusive path to marriage and a family of his own.

She had informed Hiroki a week ago that she was coming on a rare trip, to do some shopping with friends, and that she wanted to not only see, but also to stay with him while she was there.

"Surely you'd be more comfortable in a hotel," Hiroki had suggested, his stomach already clenching in a terrible fit of nerves at her announcement. "It's also a really busy part of the semester for me, I am not sure I will be able to spend much time with you." Usually the lady Kamijou would have simply agreed and withdrawn from the conversation, but today she was determined.

"Of course," his mother sighed, "I am sure all of my friends will understand why my only son is so busy that he cannot see his own mother. I am positive they will not interpret my staying with them in the hotel, while you have a perfectly good apartment that I have never seen, as odd." She went on her voice sadly resigned. "I know that they will not think that my dear son is ashamed of me. That he is so cold as to deny an old lady of the joy of seeing her successful only child." Following such words, Mrs. Kamijou's reluctant son was given no choice but to relent.

After this disastrous conversation, Hiroki had originally discussed having Nowaki stay with his Senpai, Tsumori, while his mother was visiting (as much as he hated the idea) but the look of sadness on Nowaki's face had been just as guilt-provoking as his mother's words. And he could still picture the radiant happiness in Nowaki's eyes when Hiroki had finally allowed that he could stay, as long as he adhered to some basic rules.

Besides he figured that his lover would be gone most of the week at the hospital or with his various jobs, so that the interaction between Nowaki and his mother would be minimized. Of course, however, with his luck; Nowaki had just been given a four-day furlough.

Yes, Hiroki had a very bad feeling about this indeed.

Thank you for reading and please review.