A/N: Hey guys this is CarminaxBuranax and Midnight Cheesecake O.o (HEY LOYAL FANS!) We already know this is really bad, so please flame all you want! Enjoy! (Or not)


Harry, Hermione, Ron and Draco didn't know where they were. They had woken up in the most odd looking place, compared to Malfoy Manor. Dobby had definitely not taken them to Bill and Fleur's. Before they could really gather their surroundings, two boys walked in. They were dressed like they had walked straight of the 1700's. Then it clicked. THEY had apparrated into the 1700's. Hermione had been wearing her time-turner, after all. The two boys stared at them like they were aliens. They improvised.

"Hi!" Ron said. Harry and Hermione looked at him like he was an idiot. "I'm Ron, and this is Harry and Hermione!" They looked puzzled at the name Hermione.

"Hey, what about me?" Draco cut in. "Don't I exist?"

"No, Draco, no one likes you," Harry snapped. Draco looked hurt.

"You people are BRITISH?" the younger boy shouted at them.

"Thomas! Gabriel! What is all that noise in there?" they heard a man call from another room. Then he walked in and looked at the four of them like they were... well- aliens. "What's going on here?" he asked. "Take the girl into the kitchen, I want to talk to these three." Hermione didn't need telling twice. "Thomas, Gabriel, go see what the ruckus is outside." The man ordered.

Then he came closer to Harry, Ron, and Draco. "All I want to know it what exactly is going on here."

Again, Ron was the only one who spoke.

"With all due respect sir, we're not exactly sure."

"You are British? And why are you dressed so oddly?" They didn't have an answer. Before they could answer however, the door was knocked open and a flood of British Dragoons came in.

"Whoa!" Malfoy exclaimed. "Are you guys redcoats? Cool! Can I help you?" Ben, Thomas, Gabriel, Harry and Ron looked at him incredulously.

"Why of course young lad," Tavington said with an evil-looking smirk. Just then Hermione came bursting back in followed by a little girl whose name they later learned was Susan. "What's going on?" Hermione asked, looking and sounding absolutely confuzzled.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Susan, Thomas, Gabriel, and Ben all watched as Tavington looked at a Dragoon, and nodded. The random Dragoon took a match and lit it.

"No! Not the house!" Thomas explained, but to everyone's surprise, the Dragoon threw the flaming match at... Draco? Draco screamed out in pain, saying words that Susan should not have heard. Tavington then threw Draco out the window. They heard a scream, a crunch, and silence. After several moments of stunned silence, Susan burst out clapping. Those who were wearing hats, threw them into the air. A random disco ball came out of the ceiling and those in the room had a brief disco party.

After the party had ended, and Tavington was totally wasted, him and the Dragoons left the house, drunk and probably knocked up (naughty Susan! Were they really even guys then?). Ben Martin looked back at Harry and Ron and said, "Well, seeing what just happened made me suddenly think you're on our side. We shall not kill you."

If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain

If you like making love at midnight
in the dunes of a cape
I'm the lady you've looked for
Write to me and escape.

"What the hell?" Harry asked, as a shadowy figure came walking slowly into the room, hair billowing in the wind. "Who is that?"

"…... WILLIAM WALLACE!" Hermione screamed, running into him and giving him a hug. "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!"

William Wallace looked at her for a second, but only looking up when an enraged fan came crashing through a window, wearing a shirt that said 'Screw Edward and Jacob, I'm on team William Wallace!' She took out a tranq gun, and tranqd Hermione. "Hi," she said, dreamily looking up at William. Ron and Gabriel take a baseball bat and a club and knock out the jealous fan for tranquilizing Hermione.

Then the door was thrust open YET AGAIN and a man came through the door riding on a horse followed by at least half a regiment of African-American soldiers. "Who, hang on!" Harry said. "Now we've people from the Civil War, too?"

"What's the Civil War?" Thomas asked.

"It's a long story," Ron said grimacing. "Who are you?" Ron asked the blue man on the horse.

"Colonel Robert Gould Shaw of the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry, at your service."

"Whoa." Everyone in the room said unanimously. Robert's horse, for some reason did not like William Wallace. He kicked him in the shin and Robert came crashing down. He stood up, but William decided he wasn't going to take that from a horse. After about two minutes of watching William and the horse kick each other, people got bored and turned back to the conversation.

Meanwhile, during all this chaos, Gabriel had confessed his "love" for Hermione. Ron is jealously fuming and hit him with a baseball bat. No one know where all the weapons came from. Hermione is outraged and tases Ron. "He was always hotter than you!" Hermione shouted at him.

Robert gets up from the floor and puts his cap back on. He glares at his horse. A Private in the regiment name Jupiter as we probably earlier learned, decides to use his rifle for target practice, but Trip (another Private) grabs the taser from Hermione and stops the man before he can shoot the Target dog in his red-painted eye.

Hermione shouts. "Give me my taser back!" Trip refuses, and Hermione grabs the bat from Ron and starts "sword-fighting" with Trip, baseball bat against taser.

"HEEEEEY!" Susan shouts. Everyone stops in their tracks. She holds out her hands on both sides and Hermione and Trip reluctantly hand over their weapons. Susan hits Trip with the bat and tases Hermione, and they both collapse unconscious.

"NOOOOOO!" Gabriel called, and was about to go absolutely psycho, but William Wallace held out a hand and said quietly, "No... Watch..." As if on cue, Trip jumped up, pulled out a sombrero out of nowhere, and started to do the macarana. Colonel Shaw gave him a blank stare, and Trip stopped suddenly, looking ashamed and tried to tase Colonel Shaw, but Robert grabbed the taser and instead tased Trip.

Thomas Martin just stood there, looking absolutely gorgeous. (A/N: hehe, according to us) He poked Robert hesitantly, to see what he would do, but Robert just took off his cap and put it on Thomas's sexy head, covering his eyeballs. Two figures appeared in the window, eating popcorn and laughing their heads off. Who were these mysterious girls? Emma (AKA CarminaxBuranax) and Meg (AKA Midnight Cheesecake O.o).

Emma, the short one, shouted, "I LOVE YOU THOMAS MARTIN!"
"NO, HE'S MINE!" Meg shouted back and slugged Emma. They started to strangle each other.

Harry, getting more pissed off by the minute because he wasn't getting enough recognition, said to Emma, "I thought you loved me, not him!" Emma gave him the magical finger. While she was distracted, Meg grabbed the taser and tased Emma. Meg then waved at Thomas Martin all lovey-dovey, when Emma woke up and knocked her unconscious with the baseball bat. Robert, having taken his cap off Thomas's head, put it on Emma's head, covering her eyes. Emma took off the cap, glared at Robert, and crossed her arms.

William Wallace randomly snuck up behind Robert and bonked him on the head. An outraged Emma jumped on William Wallace's back and started attacking him. Harry and the others were staring, starting to get extremely confused, when Hermione shouted, "That's it; we're leaving!" She grabbed Harry and Gabriel's hands, and turned the time-turner back so they could get to their own time, leaving Ron behind.

Back in the Harry Potter world at last, Harry, Hermione and Gabriel were relaxing at last, when Dumbledore came up.

"Have a nice trip?"