Rated: K +

Summary: Atobeville, where happiness and Orwell comes together to die

Pairings: implied, not really. Except for Adorable pair

Category: Humour/general

Characters: Hyoutei

Disclaimer: I don't believe I own PoT.

Part of my Hyotei series!


Atobeville

Sitting back, Atobe happily stared at the word on he just typed on the computer screen, smirking to himself.

"What the hell? Atobeville?" Shishido commented, leaning over Atobe's screen.

"You have a problem with that, ahn?"

"I thought we were supposed to create our ideal societies in geographical and legal terms, not start a self worship session." Gakuto rolled his eyes.

"This is ore-sama's ideal society."

"And what goes in Atobeville?" Shishido was almost afraid to ask.

"It's on the coast of Kyushuu, with a population of fifty thousand."

"That sounds way too normal for it to be true."

"Cars aren't allowed in Atobeville. Atobeville needs no pollution. Our special recycling facility is top class. All polluters are condemned to die slowly and painfully."

"Die?"

"Die."

"… oookay."

"The official religion of Atobeville is Atobeism." Oshitari joined them, reading off the words on the screen.

"Atobeism?"

"Yes, ore-sama has the bible here." He dropped the rather thick leather-bound book in front of the other regulars and smirked.

"You're not going to make us read it… are you?" Gakuto gulped.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"We shall have religion tests after Saturday morning practise."

"…You're not kidding."

"Ore-sama does not kid."

"…so, uhm, anything else about Atobeville?"

"Yes. It's going to be an autocracy, with the most enlightened and magnificent king."

"More like tyrant." Gakuto coughed.

"What was that?"

"No-nothing."

"Plato says the wise should rule."

"I don't suppose this 'king' has anything to do with the name of the religion and town." Oshitari sighed, wondering why he even came into this conversation.

"Of course." Atobe glared.

"However you put it, it sounds like a cult and a compound." Gakuto coughed again.

"What was that?"

"No-nothing!"

"I thought so."

"Also, it says in your notes that Atobeville has an abundance of people aged 15-25 years old. How do you even explain that?" Shishido demanded.

"They're more agile."

"Excuse me?"

"Good for tennis. Atobeville is a tennis haven."

"Oh." Shishido's mind was actually thinking of another explanation.

"And what if someone dissents from the political order?" There was a smirk on the sadistic tensai's face as he asked that question.

"A rebellion?"

"Yes."

"That's impossible. Ore-sama is the most charismatic leader."

"But surely you have a mechanism." Oshitari prodded.

"Are you stupid? Of course. They go in the Temple of Atobeism, located on an acropolis, to go through a special … training… session. There should be no problem when they come out."

"…" Take a large step away from Atobe, now.

Except for Oshitari, who didn't seem to know when to call it a day."And…?"

"And they shall be publically executed so they can be made into an example."

Gakuto coughed once again, "Yeah, I think someone else had that sort of idea. I think his name was Stalin."

"…Are you calling ore-sama a communist?"

"N-NO!"

"Good idea, Gakuto. What're the living conditions in Atobeville?" Oshitari was having way too much fun with this.

"Ore-sama takes care of all the citizens. Whether they choose to use the special facilities or not is their own choice. If they do not, they will be made an example of, through public humiliation."

"…Right."

"So… you're submitting this in for marks?" Shishido asked, incredulous.

"Of course. Don't you want to live in Atobeville?"

"Uh…" The regulars inexplicably drifted away, leaving Atobe to his own evil machinations.

Until…

"SUGEE, ATOBE! ATOBEVILLE! CAN I LIVE THERE? CAN I?"

"Yes Jirou. Of course you can."

"Oh god…."

Atobe was happy that everybody was so interested in living in Atobeville. He has vowed to model his tennis club after his brilliant social creation. He thinks everyone will one day write books about the brilliance that is Atobeville.


A/N: I don't know what possessed me to write this, other than the fact that my Atobeism fic was staring at me right in the face. I don't even know. This is the purest drabble of drabbles.

Credits to Ica for editing.

If you want to know what's in the Atobeism bible, you can clickie my name and read the Atobeism fic.