Rachel noticed Puck had left his notebook on her bed. Casually she flipped it open to the front page. Seeing his hardly readable scrawl. She started reading.

Rules to dating.

1. Never cuddle.

Never cuddle the chick before or after sex. It's too intimate and gives the chick the wrong idea.

2. Don't complement her.

If you complement her after sex it means you actually like her for more than a fuck. Only use complements to get into her pants.

3. Don't take her out.

Taking her out involves you paying and why waist your money on something that will be boring in a few weeks?

4. Don't touch her hair.

It never feels as good as it looks or smells. Plus it's a form of affection. Which is a big NO.

5. Don't pick up her calls unless your horny.

Why waste time talking to a chick you don't wanna invite over?

6. Never EVER let her meet your mother.

Meeting Ma means its getting serious. Ma asks questions and before you know it she's got the wedding planned.

7. Don't spend any time with her.

Don't spend any time with her other than in situations where you can get some action.

8. Don't go down on her.

Chicks love it but its rank. They never taste as good as you think and its way to intimate.

9. Leave after.

STRAIGHT after. Like don't even get undressed so you can leave as soon as you get your breath back…or kick them out.

10. NEVER say the 'L' word.


Rachel's eyes started to gather tears. His words had hurt her heart. Slowly she flipped through the pages, finding another one at the back, she started reading.

Rules to dating your girl.

1. Always cuddle.

Cuddle her as much as possible. You may think its not badass and you hate it but feeling that little midget all snuggled up against you, sighing and all sleeping and soppy is fuckin' awesome. Plus she's all soft and shit.

2. Complement her.

She's so perfect she's worth 100 of you. So make sure she knows you fuckin' appreciate her.

3. Take her out.

Show her off on your arm. And the little excited squeals she makes when you take her some place nice is worth taking her to the moon and back. Cost doesn't matter when it comes to making your girl feel special.

4. Her hair.

It really does feels as good as it looks and smells. Sooo soft and silky and smells like strawberries. Best thing ever to hear the little moan at the back of her throat when you gently tug on the ends.

5. Always answer her calls and ring her too.

Shits worth it just to hear her voice.

6. Let her and Ma see each other.

They love each other and damn if Ma doesn't plan the wedding then you sure as hell will.

7. Spend as much time with her as you can.

Every minute with her is worth it. Even just her smile is worth hours of musicals.

8. Go down on her.

Fuck she tastes so sweet and her noises…fuck you know you cum in my pants every time.

9. Stay after.

Always stay after. You'll be tired. And you can do the important rule number 1. Plus she's sooooooooo fuckin' cute after. She's all naked and sweaty and cuddly. She's so soft and sweet. She usually starts a really important conversation then falls asleep before its solved. My advise is to spoon her, nuzzle her neck-smells good there-and hum to her so she falls asleep quicker then you can just cuddle her until she's able to think straight again.

10. The 'L' word.

You do love her. Very much. And she's worth it.

This made Rachel smile and tear up for a different reason. She looked at her clock, 11.54pm. She hopes he'd be awake.

He answered on the third ring.

"Baby," He greeted her sweetly. His voice dripping with sleep.

"I love you," She whispered.

"Love you more. Now why aren't you sleeping?" She could hear him rustling around.


"Hmm, I'm now walking across our gardens come unlock your back door," He said. She loved how they lived next door.

"Okay, but be quiet." She smiled, creeping down stairs.

"I will." He hung up as she opened the door. She smiled as he took her in his arms. He was wearing navy sweats and a grey hoddy. While she was in a white tank top and blue lacey panties.

"C'mon lets go to bed," He whispered into her hair. She led him upstairs and slipped into her bed, she watched as he slipped off his shoes and his hoddie, revealing his toned chest. He nudged her over and got into the bed, slipping his arm around her waist and pulling her close, kissing her lips slowly.

"Thank you Noah," She whispered, turning over and snuggling back into him.

"Welcome baby. Night." He whispered pulling her even closer and nuzzling her neck with his nose. He started humming 'Sweet Caroline' into her ear and they both drifted off to sleep. In each others arms.

Where they would always belong.