Disclaimer: I do not own Glee Fox does.
AN: Okay all writers should know those scary big thug plot bunnies that just show up and make you write the stupidest stuff. Ouch! I mean the best fan fic ever! …..Okay he's gone I am so so sorry for this but it just wouldn't leave me alone and I guess you can take it as some kind of crack fic.
Warnings: gender bender, boy's loving on each other, swearing, a plot that probably makes no sense but hell read it anyway I bet I can make you laugh.
When Kurt Hummel woke up one Monday morning he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary until he had pulled off his silk pajamas to take a shower. He screamed like a girl because well he was a freaking girl. Kurt stared at his reflection in his full length mirror in horror praying he'd wake up soon. Someone pounded on the door. "Kurt!"
"Sorry dad it was just a spider." Kurt called back jerking his towel off the rack and wrapping it around himself.
"Jezze Kurt don't scare us like that." Finn huffed.
"He just surprised me I'm fine." Kurt was too shocked to feel offended at Finn's attitude. "I'll be down in fifteen. Finn you better be ready to go in twenty minutes." Kurt stood shaking opening the towel and looking at himself. It probably would be easy to hide it. His chest hadn't swollen much maybe an A cup. The most noticeable was the distinct lack of his male anatomy. Maybe he should tell his dad he was going to stay home. Kurt felt tears fill his eyes. This was just some cruel kind of joke. Kurt got in the shower rushing through his usual routine. Thankfully his hair wasn't suddenly longer but his face was rounder again. Kurt sighed just when he'd grown into a more angular face.
Kurt wrapped a towel around himself and hurried across the hall to his room. He shut and locked his door. His full length mirror showed that he was screwed. He couldn't walk around all day without doing something to at least hold his new mounds of flesh. Kurt worried his lip before he went to his personal first aid kit and dug out an ace bandage. It was probably silly but it was his best bet until he could work up the courage to tell one of the girls and get them to help. Kurt fumbled with wrapping his chest tight enough but no so tight it hurt. His vest would hide any evidence of the wrap. Kurt pulled on his clothes and looks his reflection over in the mirror. Something wasn't right. Kurt stared hard at his reflection before realizing his Adams apple was gone too. That would certainly be noticed. Kurt threw open his closet and went through his scarves desperate to find the perfect match. He'd settled for one that was close enough. Mercedes would be the only one to make a comment so it's not like it was that bad.
"Kurt what's taking so long we're going to be late." Finn called from outside his room.
"Give me five more minutes Finn!" Kurt snapped. He fixed his hair letting most of it lay free of and holding product. Finn was waiting in the living room. "Come on." He said grabbing his things and heading out to his navigator.
"Kurt did you change your skin care routine or something?" Finn asked after staring at him for a minute.
"No why?" Kurt asked glancing at him.
"Well your skin just looks softer." Finn shrugged and sat back in his seat. Well that was one good thing he guessed. Kurt took very good care of his skin. When they arrived they were joined by Puck on the walk up to school. Puck was looking at him funny from the corner of his eye. Kurt was already stressed enough.
"What?" He snapped turning to look at Puck.
"Nothing." Puck growled back and stalked down the hall.
"What was that about?" Finn asked.
"Nothing." Kurt replied leaving Finn at his locker and heading toward his own. Mercedes hugged him just like every other day.
"What's with the scarf?"
"I got a pimple and I already had this outfit picked out so I looked for the best match."
"You a pimple?"
"It happens and I'm hiding it so don't go spreading word around." Kurt got out the books he needed.
"Did you and Puck have an argument or something?" Mercedes asked gaining Kurt's attention. Puck was looking at him. Kurt blushed and looked away.
"No he just started. Who knows with Puck he's probably doing some bet or something." Kurt shrugged.
"Oh come on he's better then that Kurt." Mercedes sighed shutting her locker.
"It doesn't matter as long as he doesn't do something offensive I just don't care." They walked to class arm and arm. Kurt just wanted to get through the day without any incidents.
By lunch Kurt was in a total freak out. Guys were actually being nice to him. Kurt had dropped his pen and found it returned to him with a shy smile from a guy he didn't really know but had been classified as strait. It wasn't just that he felt eyes on him. Most people ignored him but suddenly he felt eyes watching him and it just freaked him out. Kurt hid in the Glee room during lunch mostly playing with his food. He jumped when someone entered but relaxed when he saw it was. Santana looked at him a moment before walking up to him and grabbing his face. "Ouch Santana the hell?" He whined trying to pull back.
"Gezze Hummel I'm not holding you that hard." She huffed letting him go. "I don't get it."
"You don't get what?"
"Look we both know we play in the same league but suddenly I find my panties in a twist over you." Kurt just gaped at her.
"Excuse me?" He stuttered.
"And it's not just me guys are actually looking at you." Kurt closed his eyes against the heat of unshed tears. He couldn't do this by himself it was already out of hand. Kurt grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her to the nearest girl's bathroom locking the door.
"You have to swear you won't tell." Kurt whispered already pulling off his vest. "I can't handle this on my own." A few tears slipped down his cheeks as he pulled off his shirt.
"Did someone hurt you!" Santana hissed looking like she was going to murder someone. Kurt grabbed her.
"No I honestly promise I… I'm not hurt." Kurt bit his lip and undid the wrap letting it fall to the floor. Santana just stared at him in shock. "I woke up like this. I…Santana please don't tell anyone. It's scary enough without everyone knowing." Santana leaned down and picked up the bandage quietly helping him wrap himself back up. Kurt sniffled a little as he put his shirt and vest back on.
"I won't tell anyone. Do you have any idea what happened?" Kurt just shook his head trying to hold back the tears. The Latina pulled him into a hug. "Don't cry Kurt. You just look even more pathetic." Kurt laughed against her shoulder. "I think I still have some bras that will fit you. Let's skip the rest of the day there's no Glee. And I think you need a crash course in female how tos."
"No offence but I really don't want to be a girl."
"Don't worry we'll figure it out." Santana took his hand and led him back to the Glee room to get his things. As they were heading out to Kurt's car they were joined by Puck.
"Skipping class ladies?"
"Go away Puck." Santana shot not even looking at him.
"Seems to me you know what's going on with Kurt."
"Nothing's going on." Kurt snapped.
"Oh but there is." Puck leaned against Kurt's car.
"Get lost before I claw your eyes out." Santana hissed getting in Puck's face.
"I will if you answer me one question." Santana hugged and folded her arms. "Why is Kurt suddenly all soft and curvy again? Why is his voice softer and higher pitched just slightly? And where the hell did his cock go?" Kurt choked on the air he was breathing. "Oh seriously I spend hours pondering how you fit into those damn skinny jeans." Kurt blushed bright red and felt tears fill his eyes. Santana pulled Puck buy the front of his shirt away from Kurt's car.
"Tell anyone and you're a girl for the rest of your life. And not in a pleasant way." She threatened gripping him through his pants hard enough to make Puck wince. Kurt winced in sympathy because owe that just hurt.
"Santana let him go." Kurt said opening his car. "If we don't leave soon we'll get caught trying to skip." Kurt held out his keys to her. "I don't think I can focus enough right now." He explained at her look. Santana took his keys and went to the driver side.
"If you're coming get in the damn car Puck. I swear to god if you upset Kurt I'll castrate you." Puck got in the back seat and Kurt settled morosely in his passenger seat. The radio was the only sound on the way to Santana's house. Puck easily made himself at home while Santana brought Kurt upstairs. Kurt looked around her room with an appreciative look. It wasn't that bad décor wise just a little dark. Kurt sat on her bed as she dug through her closet.
"I really appreciate your help." Kurt said as she dropped a box onto the bed.
"Why didn't you tell your girl?"
"As much as I love Mercedes she can't keep a secret. I was just tired of holding it all in. The eyes on me just bother me. I'm use to being invisible unless I'm covered in slushy." Santana smirked.
"Do you know how a bra works?"
"Sadly yes." Kurt looked at the bras Santana had pulled out. She seemed to really focus on the style of her undergarments.
"You're not already pairing them with outfits are you." Kurt blushed.
"It wouldn't matter I can't go to school with breasts."
"You could always say you're transgendered." Kurt snapped his head around and glared at Puck.
"Oh yes because that wouldn't get me beat up despite the bully whips. If you're not going to help then kindly keep your mouth shut. This is hard enough without your being instinctive. How would you like to wake up one day and have a mostly female body? I haven't even let myself think how this will affect me and Blaine. He's gay meaning he likes dick which I no longer have." Kurt was panting after his rant. Both were looking at him with a pitying look.
"Kurt, why don't you pick a bra so you can get use to it? You can wear them when not at school trust me it'll feel better then binding them." Santana rubbed his back. Kurt picked up the powder blue with white lace and went to the bathroom. Kurt slid down against the door and started crying this was all a horrible nightmare. Taking a deep breath he took of his vest and shirt again blushing a little remembering he'd just outright bared his new chest to Santana. Kurt didn't get what the big deal was there were some guys who had bigger pecks then he did breasts. Kurt shook his head and worked on getting the bra on. It was really strange but he did get it figured out and he did feel a little better without the extra pressure around his chest. Kurt looked at himself turning side to side. He could wear jackets to hide them. As long as no one else found out. He definitely didn't want Blaine to find out. Now that he'd brought it up he couldn't stop thinking about how Blaine would dump him. Kurt may have sometimes wished he was a girl just so life would be easier for his dad even himself. Kurt's jaw dropped and he rushed back to Santana's room.
"Tina has a crazy old Grandma who I swear is right out of some racist science fantasy asian witch movie and we were all at Tina's house this weekend and I think I remember saying that sometimes I wished I was a girl. But I didn't mean it I was just depressed because my date with Blaine had gone bad the night before because of some homophobic jerks!" He looked at them wondering why Santana was snickering and Puck was staring at him.
"Oh sweetie you're going to have to remember you're not a boy and allowed to run around without a shirt." Kurt blushed and folded his arms over his chest. "Puck stop staring." Santana slapped him on the back of his head. "Go bring me Kurt's clothes from the bathroom." Puck automatically followed her order.
"Oh that's cool how did you do that?"
"Trained him and a little blackmail." Santana shrugged. "It's not too small or too big?" Kurt shook his head and let her check for him. Puck retuned with Kurt's shirt. Kurt pulled it on leaving it untucked.
"So what, do you go to Tina's grandma and demand she change you back?" Puck asked hopping onto Santana's bed.
"I think talking would be better. If she did this to me I don't want to make her mad." Kurt sat in Santana's computer chair. "I'm going to be a girl forever." Kurt whimpered.
"I'm sure we can get you changed back before you have your period or something." Puck offered not helping.
"Okay stop both of you." Santana pulled Kurt to the bed so he could sit between her and Puck. "First things first we go see Tina's grandmother and talk to her. She changes you back we never speak of this again. If she doesn't we're going to tell your parents."
"I don't think my dad could handle that kind of shock." Kurt felt tears overcome him.
"Don't interrupt me. Then we see what your dad wants to do and if you stay you're going to have full protection. They wont dare touch you as a girl."
"What about Blaine?" Kurt asked sadly.
"Well I guess if you stay a girl you two can't well I know he went through that quick phase but…" Puck leaned against Kurt. "It's going to suck but you can't force him to like girl you."
"He told me he loved me right after Nationals." Kurt pulled his knees up and pressed his face against his knees.
"And what?" Kurt snapped.
"Well do you love him back?"
"Of …of course I do!" Kurt shouted at Puck. "You wouldn't understand you never have to fight for anyone. They throw themselves at your feet. I've been praying for years for a nice boy who would kiss me and hold my hand in public." Kurt turned and leaned against Santana. "No offense but being a girl sucks." The younger rubbed his back.
"Let's see if we can't get this fixed." She hugged him and rubbed his back till he calmed down. Kurt's phone buzzed.
"It's Blaine." Kurt flipped open his phone and answered it. "Hi."
"Kurt where are you? Finn just called me he says that you aren't in school."
"I'm not. I didn't think he noticed. I woke up feeling a little off." Both Santana and Puck snorted in laughter at that. "I made it to lunch before I left. I kind of forgot to text Finn."
"That just doesn't sound like you Kurt. Is this about this weekend? I know our date ended badly."
"No it's not I'm over it. You were right it was better to just leave." Kurt traced the grey zigzags on Santana's duvet. Puck made another sound. "I'll call Finn before he freaks out."
"Alright I've got to get to class. Call me later and get some rest."
"I will bye." Kurt hung up and let out a breath. "Finn noticed I wasn't at school." He said writing a text and sending it. "I didn't think he would."
"Of course he did I told you we'd watch your back." Puck slid off the bed. "Let's go see the witch lady and get you sorted out. It's not even fun cause I can't make fun of you."
"Well I'm sorry my predicament brings you no joy." Kurt snarked shoving past him and heading back down stairs. Kurt drove to Tina's house. "Please don't make her mad. I don't want her to do something worse." Eventually the door was opened with a smiling face.
"I was wondering when I would see you again. Come in children." Kurt entered and sat down in the living room. Santana and Puck on either side of him. "I know why you're here so let's cut that out."
"So you can change me back?" Kurt asked hopeful.
"I thought you said you knew why Kurt was here." Puck growled.
"Puck please." Kurt put his hand on the bigger teen's knee. "Please I can't explain this to my father it might literally kill him and I kind of like not getting beat up anymore. I have a boyfriend who kind of expects me to have certain parts."
"So you're worried about your physical relationship?"
"No." Kurt blushed. "He's gay I'm gay. It won't work like this. When I said what I said I was upset about our date that went bad. You honestly can't do things like this to people."
"The spell wouldn't have worked if no part of you wanted it." She replied.
"I don't. Sure it will make things easier on my dad if I'd been born a girl. But me suddenly being a girl will just make things worse. It's hard enough being gay but transgendered is something even many gay people have a hard time with. Unless you can change everything before so I was a girl change me back."
"I can't, my magic only works on a person once."
"I'm not me though!" Kurt shouted at her feeling tears come. Santana pulled Kurt to her and hugged him tight. "Things were finally getting better." He sobbed.
"Could another change him back." Puck asked.
"Not for sure but it probably wouldn't hurt him to try."
"I don't want to be like this." Kurt whimpered softly.
"Come on." Puck stood up.
"Where are we going?"
"To visit my nana." Puck said hauling both to their feet. "Next time think before you act." Puck growled at the old woman leading Kurt and Santana out.
"Puck you can't seriously think to bring her to your nana. She's hates me and I'm not leaving Kurt alone with her." Puck rolled his eyes.
"Give me the keys." He said holding out his hand. They got back into the car Santana and Kurt in the back the Latina soothing Kurt's intermediate tears. It was a long drive and Kurt fell asleep on the way there. When they stopped Santana shook him awake. Kurt looked around. "Where are we?"
"What why?" Kurt asked distressed.
"It's where my nana's nursing home is. We probably won't see your boyfriend so chill." Puck led the way in. He greeted the receptionist and walked right by.
"They seem to know you very well."
"We spend every weekend here." Puck shrugged. Kurt smiled at the taller boys back as they walked down the halls. Puck knocked on a door frame. "Nana are you busy?"
"Noah darling boy what a surprise." Puck's grandma certainly didn't look like she belonged in a home. Her hair was still dark brown and she hardly had any wrinkles. "And you brought friends." She frowned a bit. "Shouldn't you be in school."
"This is kind of more important." Puck turned and pulled Kurt forward. "Nana this is Kurt Hummel."
"You're Elizabeth's boy aren't you?"
"You knew my mom?"
"I was one of her nurses she was such a lovely woman and you were such a quite baby. But what happened to you?" She reached out for him. Kurt hesitated. "I don't bite baby. Santana exaggerates." Kurt laughed a little. "Oh you are your mother's son." Kurt took her hand.
"Tisk tisk some witches have no morals."
"Can you fix him?"
"I don't know. If even a little part of you wants this it won't be easy to change."
"But I don't. My dad's heart can't take this. I'd rather die then lose him because of this."
"Oh hush don't talk like that. Sit, sit we'll talk this out." Kurt took the chair next to her while Santana and Puck sat in other chairs. They talked Kurt felt so calm around Puck's grandmother. They spoke till there was a commotion in the hall. Kurt saw blue and red blazers pass by his heart just stopped beating. Kurt felt like it was being ripped out when Blaine knocked on the door frame.
"Mrs. Goldenburg would you like an escort to the recroom?" Santana and puck both snickered. Kurt felt frozen. "I'm sorry I didn't know you had…Kurt?" Kurt flinched and wrapped his arms around himself feeling tears. "I thought you were a home resting?"
"So this is the boyfriend. Oh Kurt you've got a good eye for the handsome ones." Kurt said nothing.
"Kurt?" Blaine's concern was just dripping from his voice. Kurt stood and faced Blaine. "What happened?" Blaine walked up to him and really noticed the difference. "I thought…"
"I am." Kurt shook. "Something happened. I don't know if I'll change back."
"This…I don't…god please tell me this is some kind of joke."
"Joke!" Kurt screeched. "Do you want me to prove it's not?" His trembling hands went for his clothes.
"Whoa easy there lady fingers." Santana jumped up and wrapped her arms around him.
"Noah why don't you head on home I've done all I can." She stood and walked up to Blaine. "Come now Mr. Anderson you and I should be in the recroom right now.
"I think he needs to calm down." Kurt watched them leave and slumped in Santana's arms. "Let's get you home lady fingers." Santana kept her arms wrapped around him as they walked back out. Kurt isolated himself in the passenger seat just staring at the window.
"I don't want to go home." He said about half way beck to Lima.
"You can stay at mine." Puck offered. "No one's home tonight so no questions." Kurt bit his lip and nodded. "So we'll hit 'Tana's so you can get your things. Then your house so you can grab some clothes." Santana said nothing.
Kurt hugged her tightly after they gathered up his things and the bras she'd given him. "I'm sorry I cried all over you."
"Well if you're stuck like this and get tired of boys you come to me first." Kurt laughed and kissed her cheek. "Puck behave yourself."
"I'm not going to molest him." Noah pouted. Kurt patted him on the shoulder.
"I trust you." No one was home when they arrived at Kurt's. Puck lay back on Kurt's bed as Kurt selected an outfit that would easily hide his new flesh. "Puck?"
"Thank you for taking me to see your grandmother. She was really helpful."
"But you're still a girl."
"But she told me she was going to try. And she knew my mom." Kurt picked up his bag. "I'm ready.
"Sure you're not a girl. My mom doesn't even have that many bottles."
"Don't be an ass." Kurt snapped clutching the strap on his bag. "I take good care of myself that doesn't make me a girl. My looks have to be on top if I'm going to get on Broadway."
"What about your voice? I mean you have to sing and shit more then be there."
"Be realistic Puck that's not how everything works. You have to be everything." Kurt sighed. "I wish this was all some crazy nightmare."
"Maybe you be lucky and wake up as a dude again." They climbed back into the Navigator. "Don't you have to tell your dad you're not going to be home?"
"I will once we're at your place." Kurt replied. Neither of them expected Puck's mom to be home so when they almost bumped into her in the hall they both froze.
"Ma you're home. Aren't you late?"
"I took a later shift." Kurt shrunk back from the hard look she gave him.
"Ma this is Kurt he kinda got mixed up with some spell."
"Hello Ms. Puckerman. I really don't mean to intrude but I can't go around my house like this. My dad's heart won't take it."
"Puck did you do this?"
"What? No! I can't do any of that shit."
"Kurt you're welcome to stay. I hope things sort themselves out." She reached out and pulled each of them close for a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to be late if I don't leave now. You boys be good."
"I thought your mom was going to kill me."
"Well get one girl preggers and you know." Puck shrugged.
"Actually I don't think I will."
"Oh yeah, right." Puck looked at Kurt. "Well you can either sleep on the couch or take my bed. Neither are super comfortable like your bed but better then the floor. "
"I'll take the couch."
"Cool. I'm going to make us something to eat."
"You cook?" Kurt asked setting his bag down on the couch.
"Nothing fancy but my mom works nights a lot so I had to learn to feed my sister."
"Can I watch?"
"Watch me cook?"
"I don't watch much TV and I like to cook. I make most of the meals at my house. My dad's the only person in the world that can burn water." Puck laughed hard and motioned for Kurt to follow him. As Puck cooked they talked. Kurt was very interested in Pucks family and how it seemed to be a family trait to be a witch. Puck repeatedly assured Kurt he wasn't one. They ate dinner in the living room finding a decent movie on television. Puck had made pasta Kurt loved it. As they washed dishes, Kurt refused to do nothing, Puck brought up the subject of what Kurt was going to do if he ended up stuck with a female body. "I'll learn to live with it. Maybe transfer to a different school or do online. I can't go back to McKinley like this." Kurt rinsed the last dish.
" And Blaine?"
"Break up with him I guess. I can't ask him to remain in a relationship that would basically be one sided. I won't like it but I can't be selfish and ask him to love me when we can't do anything."
"Have you guys done anything?"
"No." Kurt blushed. "We always stop when it get's to heated. We don't exactly have privacy since I can only see him on the weekends and the occasional week night. I want to. I mean I am…was a teenage boy. But he's always trying to be the gentleman."
"Sometimes you just want him to throw you down and take you. You're also still male don't let this shake you."
"Maybe not that far forward but he acts like since I was so uncomfortable about it before that I still am."
"What do you mean by uncomfortable?"
"I've never watched porn. I mean I tried but it was always depressing. Then I didn't get the sex talk till the past year. I think I want to find the man who invented pamphlets and double kill him." Puck chuckled.
"Try getting the sex talk from a woman." Puck argued, Kurt sighed.
"I just might. But I get your point I guess it's never comfortable." Kurt pulled his legs up on the couch. "Maybe I'll just ask the girls."
"Don't if you're gonna have to learn talk to my mom or Carole they're nurses so it's only less awkward."
"I don't even remember the last time I went to a doctor." Kurt admitted. "Oh god I just remembered girls go too…I want to be a boy again. I want to be a boy again." Puck sighed and pulled Kurt to him settling the countertenor on his lap and rubbing his back.
"Kurt you'll be fine. You'll be a boy again, we'll explain it to Blaine and then left it die. You'll have incredible guy sex and forget." Kurt laughed.
"Sorry it's just the way you said incredible guy sex."
"Well if you ever get tired of the male hobbit not rocking your socks you can always come to me." Kurt stiffened and looked at Puck.
"What no you're just saying that cause I'm a girl right now."
"You still look like you Kurt. Maybe a little younger but still you." Puck shrugged. "Remember I never picked on you because you were gay. You came out after that." Kurt looked away. "Look it's been a long day and it's really spooky to see you cry." Puck moved Kurt back to the couch. "I'm gonna get you some blankets and pillows before I forget." Kurt sat there a second before gathering his creams and pajama's. He didn't think he could sleep in a bra so he took it off deciding to sleep in just silk pajamas. He stood in front of the mirror working on his skincare when Puck knocked.
"You'd better be decent because I've got to pee." Kurt gaped at Puck as he walked right in and to the toilet. It was partially walled off so Kurt didn't have to avoid seeing anything. He kept his eyes on himself.
"Don't worry about it." Puck said hip bumping Kurt over so he could wash his hands. "I'm the only guy in this house. Either I get here first or I wait." Kurt opened the last bottle and rubbed the lotion into his skin.
"So I thought you said all you skin."
"I take a shower everyday with a special soap and I put lotion on if I feel a little dry."
"Oh all over?" Puck growled teasingly.
"You're hopeless." Kurt sighed looking at Puck in the mirror.
"Hopelessly sexy sure." Puck grinned at him. "I put an extra blanket because it looks like it's going to storm and the heater takes a while to warm up the house."
"S…storm." Kurt hated storms. His irrational fear had seen him in his father's bed into his teen years. It wasn't until Carole moved in that Kurt huddled under his covers for every one.
"You too?" Kurt turned and looked up at Puck. "Forget the couch my bed's big enough for both of us.
"How do you cope?" Kurt asked.
"I kidnap my sister from her bed and put her in mine. I don't sleep when she's not here and a storm comes up. What do you do?"
"Hide under the covers." Kurt replied softly.
"Ready for bed?" Kurt nodded Puck stepped out into the hall and Kurt followed him. "Go ahead and get comfortable I'm going to go turn off the lights down stairs." Kurt nodded again and got into the bed. He sat there unsure what side Puck slept on. Puck returned and stepped over Kurt to the side against the wall. They settled as the first waved of thunder rumbled through the room. Kurt closed his eyes and tried to sing songs in his head. After about twenty minutes puck sighed and pulled Kurt closer. "Go to sleep Hummel." He said against Kurt's hair.
Kurt woke up blissfully warm and achingly hard. Kurt gasped and jumped up. He was himself again. He didn't know whether to cry in joy of frustration. All that mess and headache for one day. Kurt was so giddy he jumped on top of Puck straddling the bigger teen's hips. "Puck wake up." Kurt said shaking the boy under him.
"I am awake jezze Kurt don't you know better then to jump on people."
"I'm male again."
"I can feel that." Kurt paused and blushed bright red realizing his erection was pressed against Puck's abdomen and Pucks morning wood was hot against his backside.
"I'm sorry." Kurt squeaked.
"If you don't plan and fooling around could you please get off." Kurt blushed brighter and moved to the side pulling his knees up to his chest. He was still hard. "Kurt it's fine. I told you last night that if Blaine didn't work out you could come to me." Kurt watched Puck adjust himself.
"I…I'll remember that I guess." Kurt watched puck get out of bed.
"I'm gonna take a shower." Puck grabbed a towel and left. Kurt groaned and let himself fall over. He lay there willing his erection away. He got his body under control and went down stairs to grab his clothes and shower things. He fished his phone out of his bag noticing he had four missed calls from Blaine that morning. Kurt set his clothes and shower gels down to call him.
"Oh thank god Kurt I was so worried. Are you alright what happened? What happened to you yesterday?"
"Yesterday I woke up as a girl because some meddlesome old woman over heard me say I wished I was a girl sometimes. She cast a spell on me. It was horrible Blaine people were staring even though I hid everything. At lunch I broke down to Santana I don't care what people say she's a fucking angel and took care of me all day. Puck's nana was so helpful and explained a few things to me. But today I woke up as me again."
"Kurt is there something you want to tell me?"
"I told you what was going on I mean the short hand version. I was so afraid I wouldn't run back and I'd be a girl forever. I'm sorry I freaked out on you yesterday it was just the stress of the situation."
"I think we need to talk."
"Of course I want to see you show you I'm me again." Blaine sighed on the other line and Kurt's stomach sank. "When?" He asked trying to keep the worry out of his voice.
"I have a half day so I'll come pick you up after school."
"I'm driving to school today and there's no way I'm leaving my baby for Finn to drive. I'll just meet you at my house. We can go up to my room and Finn won't bother us."
"Kurt shower's free. We'll stop somewhere for breakfast I'm out of milk."
"Who's that?" Blaine asked with a controlled tone.
"It's Noah I stayed at his house last night. Look I'll see you after school."
"Yeah I'll see you."
"I lo…" Kurt stopped when the other line hung up. Kurt frowned and pulled his phone away. "I'm going to go take my shower." Kurt said quickly gathering up his things. Kurt scrubbed every last inch of his skin and washed his hair twice before he deemed himself clean. Feeling like his skin needed extra care he started applying lotion from head to toe. He'd give Blaine the benefit of the doubt and explain his strange behavior to yesterday's events. Kurt was ready and was putting all this things away and double checking that he didn't leave anything behind. "Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah. Look Kurt if you need me to I'll tell your boy nothing happened between us."
"No I think he's just stress about yester day I mean it's a lot to take in for me already." Kurt smiled. "But thank you for offering." Kurt paused at the door. "Really I want to thank you Pu..Noah. I'd probably still be a girl if it was just Santana." Puck smiled at him and leaned over to plant a chaste peck on the corner of his mouth. Kurt blinked up at him.
"I'm glad you're back to being you. You being so upset wasn't easy to watch. I'm here for you and so is Santana." Kurt smiled again and they left. Puck wanted to stop at a fast food place but Kurt refused to eat that junk. When they stopped at the lima bean Puck pointed out that their food had just as many calories. Kurt's reply was that it tasted better.
Santana hugged him when she noticed he was back to himself. "Keep the bras just in case." Kurt giggled with her and walked to class with her. Kurt didn't see much of Puck till Glee. He looked a little tired. Kurt felt kind of bad because he'd gone almost instantly to sleep once puck had cuddled up with him. After Glee Kurt walked with Finn to his car. He told Finn that Blaine should be waiting and if he wouldn't mind giving them a little privacy. Finn just shrugged. Kurt always gave him and Rachel their space so he tried to do the same.
When they arrived Blaine was waiting. Kurt went to greet him as Finn went inside. Kurt wasn't expecting a stiff greeting or a simple kiss on the cheek. "Blaine what's wrong?"
"Can we talk inside?"
"Sure." Kurt smiled but didn't reach for his boyfriend's hand knowing it would have been rejected. They went up to his room and Kurt set his bag down to go through later. "Blaine I know yesterday was kind of off but I was just panicked. I didn't want you to see me like that."
"Dressed like a girl?" Kurt frowned. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was a girl. Honest to goodness breasts and lack of penis. You can ask Santana she saw them. I didn't want to tell anyone but Santana kind of cornered me and it was all too much. I hated how all their eyes were on me it was like Prom all over again. It was kind of funny if you think back on it she was all confused because she was suddenly attracted to me."
"Sorry I'm talking to fast again."
"No stop lying and just admit to me what you were doing."
"I'm not lying. Blaine I had girl parts. You have no idea how awkward it is to remember to sit down to pee." Kurt looked at Blaine. "You don't believe me." Blaine looked away.
"This is why I didn't tell you it was hard enough believing it myself but to get you to believe me over the phone." Kurt hugged himself. "I was so worried I'd be stuck as a girl and would have to break up with you because I would be a girl." Kurt closed his eyes tight. "Here I thought my biggest worries were going to be convincing you to go further but if you can't believe me on this then…you saw Blaine!"
"I saw you wearing fake breasts of some kind."
"You're kidding me then why would I be so desperate to strip myself and show you?"
"Guilt or shame." Blaine reached for him. "Being Transgendered is nothing bad."
"I'm not!" Kurt shouted jerking his hand back. "I am a boy inside and out. You wouldn't know because you refuse to touch me!" Kurt shook in anger Blaine didn't believe him. What else didn't he believe? "Get out. I'm not doing this. I'm done."
"No. I'm not lying and the one time I need you to believe me you refuse to do so. I was so scared and uncomfortable like I was in someone else's body. I was afraid I'd lose you. When I woke up this morning I never felt so relived. You don't trust me."
"Do you hear what you're saying? How am I supposed to believe you? And why the hell are you spending the night at that one guy's house when he's interested in girls!"
"Because he's my friend and he was there for me. He didn't treat me any differently then who I was and he didn't need to see proof he could see it. I can't believe you don't trust me. It's not Noah you don't trust it's me."
"Kurt what do you expect me to think?"
"That I'm a loyal boyfriend and that I wouldn't cheat on you. I don't think you're doing anything with Dave or Wes or the other boys at Dalton." Kurt shook his head. "I'm sorry Blaine but I'm done. I can't stand that you don't trust me when I've done nothing more then kiss you and let you stop us each time. I was understanding that you weren't ready I was willing to wait. But I refuse to be seen as a cheat."
"So we're through."
"Sadly, yes. If you believe it once you'll always believe it. I don't think I have anything of yours and I don't think you have anything of mine."
"I'm sorry Kurt." Blaine said getting up. "I am too." Kurt whispered as Blaine left. Kurt stood there looking at his wall till Finn knocked.
"I heard yelling but since you were too I wasn't sure if I should interfere."
"You did just fine Finn and thank you for watching out for me." Kurt tried to blink back his tears. Finn walked over and hugged him. Kurt broke down crying against Finn's chest. Finn was a fumbling sweet brother who honestly did try to comfort Kurt. Kurt took deep gasping breaths to try and calm down. "How about we make cookies and order Chinese for dinner?"
"You're not just going to make me get the mixer and kick me out are you?"
"No Finn I want you to help me." Finn smiled and happily went downstairs to grab the mixer. Kurt fixed his face before joining him. When Burt and Carole got home they found Kurt sleeping against Finn's side and Tupperware containers full of maybe a hundred cookies. Finn lay Kurt down on the couch and joined their parents in the kitchen. Where more cookies were in a mix of bags and containers.
"What's with the sad day cookie explosion?" Burt asked.
"I think Kurt broke up with Blaine. He uh said we could order Chinese food since we spent all afternoon baking." Finn pressed his pointer fingers together flexing them.
"I'll put the order in. Burt honey, why don't you wake Kurt up and see what he wants to do with all these cookies." Carole said grabbing the house phone and having Finn try to clear some flat surface to place things.
Burt gently shook Kurt awake. Kurt blinked up at him knowing from his dad's expression he knew. "Want to talk about it kido?"
"He didn't trust me. I told him I spent the night at Puck's and he basically accused me of cheating. And not to get to personal things just aren't going anywhere." Kurt blushed a little. "I really cared about him dad."
"I know Kurt." Burt pulled his son into a tight hug. "I saw the mass army of cookies is there any flour left in the house?"
"No and I even sent Finn out to get two more bags." Kurt pulled back. "He's really great even let me pick one of my musicals to watch. I think that was because I let him help." Burt smiled. "I'll figure out how to get rid of them. Just don't eat too many."
"Promise. Carole's ordering the food so what are we going to do?"
"I'm sorry I just." Kurt's voice faltered.
"No Kurt, don't worry about it we'll just move take out night up this month." Kurt smiled.
"Well Deadliest catch is going to be on we can watch that."
"Yeah dad I'm sure." Kurt replied softly. Burt rubbed his son's shoulder.
"It won't hurt as much tomorrow kido and so on and so forth. To be honest a part of me's kind of happy about your first break up."
"Not funny dad." Kurt laughed anyway. "I think you'll be waiting for boyfriend number two for a while."
"Good enough time for me to get a new gun."
"Dad." Kurt laughed as Burt ruffled his hair and chuckled with him. Kurt was never so glad he'd changed back.
" Wholy Crap Kurt what's with all the cookies?" Puck asked then noticed Finn making a cutting motion and shaking his head. Santana crossed the room and hugged him.
"Oh lady fingers it'll be alright."
"It'd be even better if I can get an all glee girls weekend at my house this weekend."
"Anything for you sweetie." When Kurt sat down all the girls surrounded him patting his knees or holding his hand. The guys just looked on until it clicked.
"Kurt's single." Artie said with a bit of awe.
"What?" The other guys asked.
"Well look at them, even Santana is cooing over him. And since his dad didn't kick the bucket…"
"Dude not cool." Finn snapped.
"Wow I didn't think they would ever break up they were so sickingly cute." Mike commented.
"Yeah Burt and Mercedes call the cookies his Sad Day cookies. I guess when he's really upset he bakes. There's like a hundred at home."
"Dude how many did he make?" Sam asked.
"Two and a half bags of flour worth." Finn replied. When Mr. Shue walked in he surveyed the teens with a questioning eye.
"Um what's going on?" He asked leaning closer to the guys.
"Kurt broke up with Blaine. " Finn stated. "Mercedes and Tina have been doing that all day then this happened. Oh he made cookies and he brought some for everyone. We kind of need to get rid of them." Finn indicated the duffle bag full of baggies filled with cookies. That seemed to settle how bad it was. Schue nodded and decided not to start another boys versus girls competition. He doubted the girls would let Kurt go.
Kurt arched up against the calloused hands that caressed down his bare chest. It had been maddening for both of them to not know how long to wait. Apparently it had to wait till everyone else was out of town for the summer, Finn at Rachel's, Sarah in day camp, and the parent's at work. Puck had shown up at Kurt's house and it just kind of happened. They didn't go past heavy making out cooling off while they talked that first week. It was Kurt that set their pace. Puck only stopping them the first time they moved forward making sure he wasn't pressuring Kurt into more.
Their relationship wasn't exactly secret. Finn had caught them week two both shirtless on the couch. He told Rachel who told everyone else. Burt caught them when Kurt first took Puck's erection in hand almost to the fifth week. That had been one of the worst awkward moments that lead to a slightly awkward dinner of the two families meeting. The sex talk that followed had left Kurt and Puck bright red for two days.
"Oh Noah." Kurt whimpered as his boyfriend sucked Kurt's member into his mouth. Kurt whined and tried to hold his hips still. Puck had a sensitive gag reflex when Kurt had almost none. "Oh please." Kurt moaned.
"Please what babe?" Puck asked with a slow lick along the slit.
"Mnn I want you inside." Kurt whined. Puck studied him a moment before moving up.
"Please Noah we talked about this. I went out and bought condoms and lube yesterday. I'm sure I'm sure." Puck kissed him battling tongues with Kurt.
"Where?" Puck asked pulling back.
"Bag under the bed." Kurt answered watching as Puck leaned over the bed and pulled the bag out. He broke the seal on the lube before pausing. He climbed out of bed and retrieved a towel from the hamper.
"Up, no use staining your sheets if we make a mess." Kurt arched off the bed making Puck lick his lips in anticipation. Satisfied Puck opened the bottle and slicked up two fingers. "Just tell me if it's too much."
"I will." Kurt shifted and lifted his legs. "Please Noah." Puck kept his eyes on Kurt's face watching as he stretched him. Kurt's eyes fluttered open and closed as Puck readied him for the final step in their intimacy. He'd thought about it and they'd talked about it both of them wanted it. Puck had no problem working through the steps. Kurt had been a natural once he got over his nerves. "I'm ready." Kurt stated bringing Puck back to the present. He removed his fingers wiping them off on the towel below Kurt.
He opened the box and pulled a condom off the strip. Kurt watched him with lust darkened eyes as Noah rolled the latex on. "You look so beautiful right now." Puck said moving between Kurt's supple pale legs.
"See what you say when you're inside me." Kurt replied with a smirk. Puck snorted in laughter before coating himself in extra lube. One hand, free of lube, took hold of one of Kurt's as Puck pressed in. "Nhh." Puck slid in slow having to stop twice. It was hard Kurt felt so good around him.
"You alright Kurt?" He asked one in to the hilt.
Kurt opened his eyes. "Just so full." He mewled. Puck leaned down kissing him.
"Just focus on relaxing babe. We won't move till you are." Kurt nodded and took a few deep breaths. Puck was certainly longer and thicker then just three fingers. Kurt's inner muscles protested fluttering to clamp back down. Puck placed soft kisses along Kurt's jaw and neck as Kurt got use to being full. He shifted his hips making Puck groan.
"Move Noah." Puck didn't have to be told twice. They started slow Puck didn't want to hurt Kurt. He'd go pull down Burt's shotgun himself if that ever happened. "Ohhh." Kurt let out a long low moan rocking his hips up. Kurt writhed below him gripping at his biceps and shoulders.
"Fuck Kurt you have no idea how amazing you feel and look right now." Puck moaned shifting his stance to move faster. Kurt cried out digging his nails into Puck's shoulder.
"Right there." He sobbed in pleasure. Puck grinned and settled into hard thrusts aiming for that spot. It was a good thing they were home alone because Kurt was loud. He was loudest when he came his low moans taking on his usual high pitch. Puck called out Kurt's name as he spilled his own essence into the condom. Puck pulled out only because he had to. Kurt made a distressed sound when he got up to throw the condom away.
"Shh Kurt I'm not going anywhere." Puck used the side of the towel to clean off Kurt's abdomen before pulling the cloth from under Kurt. "See."
"Shut up and cuddle with me." Kurt growled pulling Puck down. Puck grinned and pulled Kurt to rest half on his chest. Kurt sighed and relaxed as Puck stroked his spine. "I love you." Kurt said softly. Puck paused in his touches making Kurt tense.
"I love you too Kurt." Puck shifted them so they could see each other. "It's going to be a little rough but I don't want to hide it at school. The Gleeks already know so that's all that matters. I can't go all day without touching you." Kurt smiled softly at him. "I'll be that boy who wants to kiss you and hold your hand in public. I won't let people push us around." Kurt touched his cheek.
"I'd settle for just the hand holding Noah. Please don't think you have to do anything rash. I'm not a girl I can take care of myself." Puck smiled and kissed Kurt's nose laughing when the slighter boy wrinkled it in response. Kurt pulled the covers over them and cuddled closer. The fell asleep like that till Finn woke them before their parent's came home.