5.

It was the next night, with a still sick Bruce Wayne and his guardian, butler and friend, Alfred Pennyworth, was there to tend to him properly.

Far away, where neither would see, a man hopped onto a building. He wore a purple hoodie with pointy cardboard ears glued to it. He wore a purple cloth "Batman" suit that was droopy and sagging and he had to keep rolling up the sleeves. And nothing could cover the ghastly pale skin.

Or the wide manic grin he was known for, which was on his face.

"I am the Dark Knight!" He stated this loudly, cupping his hands over his mouth so everyone nearby could hear. "Come my faithful bird assistant!"

A loud complaining groan and soon Harley appeared, pouting and covered in green and red feathers. "Mr. J-"

He walloped her at that. "No!"

She stomped her foot, "FINE. 'Batman,' is it time for us to patrol?"

"Yes, my dear birdie!" The Joker-turned-temporary-Batman turned, facing a security camera, and growled dangerously, "I am the night. I am the low ratings that cancel your favorite show. I. Am. BATMAN." With this, he ran off, Harley groaning and running after him.

The nights were fairly quiet after that; after all... everyone knows, to scare each other, criminals would tell Joker stories. The Clown Prince of Crime owned the city and if he were taking Batman's place for now...

It was the only time in history where criminals wished the real Batman, the Dark Knight, would show up in the skies.

They continued to wish this for five nights.

On the fourth night however, at Wayne Manor…

"ALFRED!"

The older man quickly rushed to Bruce's side. Said man was watching the news with obvious disbelief.

Alfred looked over his shoulder and barely managed to keep a straight face.

On the screen, on the news, was a battle between… "Batman" and a gang—the "Batman" being Joker throwing pies and wearing a horrible imitation of the Batsuit made of purple cloth.

His "Robin," covered in feathers, on the other hand, was running around with a mallet and cheering her boss on.

Bruce just stared at the screen and looked at Alfred with horror and disbelief.

"… He got you soup…" Alfred stated, causing Bruce to make never-before-heard sounds of confused disbelief.

"H-H-H-U-Unf…"

The butler turned off the television. "Bed. You are obviously hallucinating."

Bruce just nodded mutely and actually obeyed, though Alfred knew the younger man was obviously feeling better. Perhaps tomorrow he would return to his patrols.

As for interrogating Alfred about the "replacement" he had found, well, the butler truly had no idea when those questions would arise. But he would handle them as he handled everything that came his way: with elegance, grace and dignity.

Right now, however, he had a manor to clean.