Note: Please rate, my first fanfic/yaoi lemon ever ^^" I just loved this pairing, and randomly came up with this idea! Haha. Thankyou very much!
I exclaimed, my goggled eyes glued to the screen of my PSP. Once I was in that "zone", it was practically impossible to shake me out of it. Sitting cross-legged on my bed, I was in my own little world. In my state of complete fixation, I didn't even look up when the door opened and someone walked in.
But, when I felt my bed bending under the weight of someone crawling on it, it distracted me a little. And as soon as the small, delicate hands started to make their way down my shoulders and my chest, I almost immediately switched my PSP off. I tilted my head back to see Mello kneeling behind me, peering down at me with his blond hair hanging in his face. He jerked his head to the side, signaling that it was time to leave.
Like I said, nothing can break my focus... Well, except Mello.
We climbed down the ladder of my bunk bed, and walked out the door. Passing by the playground, we went off into the woods. As he lead the way deeper and deeper into the forestry, I let my hand slip into his. He interlocked his fingers with mine loosely as I trailed behind him. We reached the door of the old, abandoned shed. He reached his hand back to me.
I searched my big pockets and produced the key for the lock we'd placed on the door. The door creaked loudly as we opened it, and I pulled the hanging string twice to switch the light on.
We'd been coming here since not long after we met. Both of us seemed to be born a little angry at the world, and we gravitated towards each other because of it. As children do, we promised each other we'd always be best friends. The weird thing was that it had actually happened for us.
When I was in first grade, Mello was a second grader and already pounding the shit out of all the kids on the playground. I'd stand back and cheer him on, too afraid to fight for myself. Then I'd go and wait outside Roger's office until Mello had received his punishment. Although he was trouble, Roger always favored him. He wouldn't have lasted long here otherwise.
By second grade, truth or dare was our game. That's how we found the shed, actually. We spent a while daring eachother to go into the forest alone. And once we'd found the shed, we deemed it MUCH cooler to play in than anywhere else.
By third grade, we'd exhausted every truth out of eachother, and the game evolved to just being "Dare". And by about 4th grade, Mello had said "I dare you to kiss me." I shrugged, and did it. I enjoyed it a lot, though I wasn't exactly sure about why at the time.
We didn't kiss again until sixth grade. I had asked him who he was "in love" with. He stared at me for a second before pressing me against the wall and smashing our lips together. Our tongues played gently, and neither of us could really believe what was going on. A few seconds later, he pulled away and wiped his mouth.
"Who do you think I'm in love with, you idiot?" he asked, almost sheepishly.
The next few years, we just grew closer. I began to chain smoke constantly from the cartons of cigarettes I'd stolen from my dad as a child (though I'd only taken them because I knew they were something he treasured). That shed was like our safe place; we could say and do anything we liked, and we cherished that time.
Secretly, we took very much pride in being the "rebels", and in "not needing anyone". In the way we had it worked out, we got to feel like we were still breaking rules. At the same time though, it was nice to have someone (even though we'd never really admit that).
I sat on the thin spare mattress and blanket we kept in the shed (having sex on the bare ground proved to be most uncomfortable). We had everything we needed in here. I had many cartons of smokes all stacked up, with Mello's various stacks of chocolate bars next to them.
As I lit my cig, Mello gave me a disapproving stare and sat across from me.
"What?" I said, seeing his gaze. "I always smoke in here."
"You shouldn't smoke so much, Matt... It's bad for your health, you know. You're ONLY 17, after all." He truly loved enforcing over and over again that he was older than me.
"You're only a year older than me, Mello... And all that chocolate's bad for your health too, incase you didn't know. Lots of sugar and caffeine," I retorted, even though his candy addiction didn't bug me at all.
He clutched the chocolate bar in his hands protectively.
"Shut up..." he mumbled, biting off a piece.
I put my cigarette out and edged my way right next to Mello. I ran my hand through his neat, blonde hair. He carefully removed my goggles and tossed them aside. He brought my face close to his, leaning back and causing me to fall on top of him. I pressed my lips to his, touching his tongue gently with mine. He broke the kiss, and flipped me over so he was on top. He slid his hand up my shirt and pulled it off over my head in one smooth motion. Mello claimed my lips once more.
I ran my hands down his back and groped his ass tenderly. He let out a quiet moan against my lips. I felt Mello's body weaken a little against mine. Ceasing my opportunity, I flipped him over and pinned him down.
"Wha- Ah, Matt, you bastard!"
I kissed him again, our tongues tangling and battling for dominance. My hand fumbled, trying to undo the lacing on Mello's pants- Why did it have to be so damn hard to untie?
Finally, I loosened the tie and pulled his pants down. By the time I'd achieved this, Mello had already gotten me down to just my boxers. I straddled his hips and sat up to take his vest off. I pulled the zipper down before sliding it off his shoulders painfully slowly. He hated this- me taking my sweet time- because he was so impatient. When I was done, he sat up to face me, his pale eyes flaming with anger and lust.
"I'll make you PAY for making me wait..." Mello growled.
"My my, how dramatic we are today," I said, just to provoke him further.
He lunged forward and bit my neck, causing me to yelp a little. Then he flipped me onto my back. Before I could retaliate, he had shoved his hand into my boxers. The sensation of his cold hands gave me chills. I shuddered, moaning quietly. Mello continued to stroke expertly at my growing arousal. I ran my fingers through his hair, and moaned louder as his palm grazed the tip.
With a smirk, just because he knew he'd gotten me and I knew it too, he slid my boxers off. Slowly, making me wait purely for revenge, he lowered himself to my hardened length. He breathed hot mist over it, causing shivers to shoot up my spine. He did this again, gently dragging his lower lip over the head. I gasped sharply as pleasure shot through my entire body.
He extended his tongue and licked all the way up the shaft. I was gripping the sheets so hard my knuckles turned white and practically begging by the time he actually took it in his mouth.
He moved up and down at a steady pace, eliciting small, choked off moans from me while my body twisted and writhed in pleasure. Right as I could feel myself about to climax, Mello took my entire member in his mouth and let out a deep, rumbling moan. Waves of pleasure racked through my body. I could feel my tool throbbing as Mello continued to send vibrations down it.
"Mmmm... Ahh... Mello.. I'm going to... Nngah!" I called out, releasing into his mouth. He swallowed in an accomplished fashion, clearly proud that he'd made me call out.
As I was catching my breath, Mello crawled his way back up my body and rested his head where he could hear my heartbeat. I ran one hand through the back of his long hair, brought his face close to mine, and kissed him passionately.
"Ready?" he asked, looking innocent yet somehow still a little predatory.
I took a deep breath. "Let's go."
He handed me the small jar of Vaseline we kept under the mattress. I coated my fingers with a good amount and put two in his exposed entrance, slowly working in a third.
"Fuck, Matt, get on with it already!"
I pulled my fingers out and thrust my dick into him hard. I heard him let out a sigh which turned into a quiet moan. I did this a few more times before looking for his "Spot". I thrusted in at various angles before I felt him shudder below me and buck his hips with pleasure.
"Matt, ah... I... I need you!"
It was almost funny seeing Mello this vulnerable. I thrust in hard a few more times at the same place, and groped around a little to find Mello's length. I stroked up and down in time with our thrusting, feeling his member swell. My body hunched over a little with pleasure, and i could see his black nails digging into the mattress. we let out a simultaneous moan and both released all over ourselves, each other, and the bed. We stayed this way for a second, sweating and catching our breath.
I reached for a cloth to wipe off the bed, my hand, and Mello's stomach.
Rolling off of Mello and onto the bed, I gazed up at the ceiling. Mello laid on my chest again, his head buried in my neck, his hand playing with a piece of my hair. I took a deep drag off of a cigarette I'd just lit. Then I offered it to Mello, who rolled his eyes and laid down again.
"For gods sake Matt, are you stupid? Get that damned thing away from me."
I chuckled and continued my smoking. I knew he'd say something like that. We actually first tried smoking at the same time, and needless to say, it wasn't his thing.
Once I'd finished my smoke, I put my hands below my head and we lay there quietly for a few minutes, before I heard Mello mumble something.
"I... I have to tell you something."
I sat up, picking my shirt off the floor and pulling it over my head.
"What's going on, Mels..." I got a little worried, seeing his expressive eyes turn fearful as he bit his lip.
"L is... Is dead."
My heart skipped a giant beat. L was dead? How could L be fucking dead?
"And Roger said he hadn't chosen whether me or Near was to be the successor... So he asked if we could work TOGETHER on it, what bull... I said Near could do it. I just can't make myself work with that... That..." I could see him practically fuming with anger at just the thought of working with Near, and forcing himself to relax. "And what am I supposed to do? I can't stay here. So... I'll be leaving Wammy's house. For good."
My heart stopped. My mind went blank. My whole body felt as if it had frozen solid at the sound of the words. I tried to say something. To do something. But nothing would stir within me. I'd always imagined this happening, Mello leaving, but I also thought I would be able to handle myself. And, it was becoming very apparent that I couldn't. As I was about to open my mouth, Mello's watch went off. He was pulling his pants on, and his vest was only half done up. He looked down to see what the alarm was.
"Shit! Matt, I've gotta go..."
But I was just silent. He left the shed and I knew he looked sincerely sorry- but there was nothing I could do. He, my Mello, my best friend, my only friend, my boyfriend. I'd be alone in this god forsaken school, pining for someone a million miles away. And life for everyone around me would continue, just as it always had.
The rest of that day was a blur. Walking around, trying to get myself to say the words. 'Mello is leaving.' For once, I didn't feel like gaming or coding. For gods sake... I was listless already. It was such a helpless feeling, and it disgusted me. But my mind wouldn't be averted. How could he be leaving?
After dinner, where I didn't actually eat anything, I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling again. Finally, the whole situation started to descend on me. I grit my teeth and tried to be strong. My attempt failed, as I felt the familiar choking sensation in the back of my throat. The tears pricked at my eyes, and rolled gently down my cheeks. I sniffed, trying to compose myself.
"Matt..." a voice purred from the bunk below me. I thought I'd imagined it at first. But it came back again.
"Matt, I know you're still awake. Can you come down here please?"
I climbed down the ladder to Mello's bed. He was sitting propped on his elbow in black silk pajamas with his shirt half unbuttoned, staring at me with his cattish blue eyes. He had one of his earbuds in, listening to music. I couldn't help but notice that he even looked stunning in his pajamas.
"Come here," he said, opening the covers for me. I climbed in, making myself comfortable against him. For safety reasons, we usually kept to ourselves in the dorm room. I hadn't slept in his bed for years; not since we were little kids, back when it didn't matter.
"What is it, Mels?" I asked. My voice sounded choked up. My face was visibly tear-streaked and exhausted. I was a real fucking mess.
Mello really did feel bad; I could see it in his expression. All of his emotion made him very easy to read. He bit his lip in the way he does when he's ashamed. Suddenly, he embraced me tight.
My body stiffened at first in surprise, and then relaxed at his touch. We did a lot of very... Intimate things, but it wasn't often that Mello would actually hug me. It felt good.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled into my collar. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Or end this way." he rubbed my back soothingly.
"I-it's okay," I said back, whether it was or not.
"Yes, Mail Jeevas?"
"I love you."
He pulled away for a second and took my face in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs.
"I love you too. Very much. Now get some sleep."
He kissed my nose, and went back to holding me, stroking my back until I fell asleep.
When I woke up in the morning, Mello was all ready to go. He was wearing his big black boots and coat with the fur on the hood. His suitcase was all packed. Without saying a word, I stood up next to him. He took my hand, and we set out silently to the front door.
People were already awake and bustling around in Wammy's House. As soon as people saw we were holding hands, they began to stare. How could I blame them though? We were quite a sight. Mello was decked out in his leather, rolling a suitcase. He was looking pretty striking, if nothing else. I was wearing my giant grey sweat pants and black t-shirt. My goggles weren't with me, and my hair looked as if a tornado had hit it.
And above all, we were two guys holding hands. In the middle of a rather homophobic orphanage.
As we stood in the doorway, not exactly knowing how to leave things from here, Mello slid his hands around my waist. I slid one of my hands through the back of his hair, and pulled him in to kiss me. I didn't care who was watching. Neither of us did.
He pulled away, staring directly into my eyes.
"I promise you, one day, out in the real world, I'll come back for you. This isn't the end."
He traced one finger around the place where my heart was.
"Don't forget me," he whispered, marking an 'X' over my heart. "I'll always be right here."
He put his big hood up and walked away, not daring to look back. He stepped into a black limousine that appeared to be waiting for him and closed the door. I watched the car slowly fade into the grey clouds; it was a pretty miserable looking day. Returning up the stairs, I could see everyone REALLY staring now.
I stared right back, returning all the disgusted, confused, and appalled gazes.
"What are you all looking at?"
"I'm sorry, Roger..." I droned, slumped in a chair in the big office.
"Sorry for what?" He looked at me with blank eyes.
"Sorry for flipping off the kid who called Mello and I... Faggots." My fists clenched at the memory. I wasn't sorry at all. I hated that word.
"Yes, yes," said Roger, folding his hands. "And...?"
"And I'm sorry I broke his nose..." I averted my gaze and mumbled "The bastard deserved it though..."
Roger pretended not to hear me say the last part. He chuckled. "you're acting just like Mello... You love him, don't you?"
My mind jolted a little at the question.
"W-what? Mello? No, I... Uhh..." I stammered, blushing.
"Oh, save your breath, Matt. I knew before you did. It's okay. If you truly care for him, please believe when he says he'll come back for you. Mello lets his emotions run away with him, but he's strong minded. If he says it, he means it. Trust him. He also never gives fake apologies... Like you just did."
I shot him a look. Damn that Roger!
"Also," Roger began, "He'd be very proud of what you did. Even though I'm not... Week's worth of detention for you."
I rolled my eyes at the punishment. All the same, the conversation left me a little surprised, and confused, but hopeful.
"Thank you very much, Roger."
I left, feeling a little better. On the way back to the room, I thought about everything Roger had said. I flopped down on my bed, tracing an X over my heart as Mello's words rang in my ears.
"Don't forget me, I'm always right here..."
For now, all I could do was hope he meant it. Hope that Roger was right.
Thus far, I had survived alright without Mello. It was hard, but I could do it. One of the toughest things about love is you end up getting hurt quite a bit. But I guess that's what proves your love; the fact that you ache when they're gone and feel alive when they're around. The fact that it kills you to sit and wait, but you do it anyway. To me, Mello was definitely worth waiting for.