Summary: What goes through Andy's mind at the end in Paris as she decides to walk away. With alternate ending.
Disclaimer: I hope to gain no profit through this writing. Purely for entertainment purposes only and just borrowing characters.
AN: My first fiction. This is a one-shot. No Beta so all mistakes are my own.
Andy looked on at Miranda as she climbed the steps, lights flashing all around her.
The words replaying in her head over and over again like a broke record player.
I see a great deal of myself in you.
You already did. To Emily.
You want this life; those choices are necessary.
Everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us.
No, thought Andy, not everyone.
As she stood there watching Miranda climb those steps, she knew she had to choose. She was at that point in life where one choice could make or break her. Where one choice would do determine how she looked at herself in the mirror. With respect or with disdain.
And she knew deep within her heart that staying with Miranda would tear her apart. Hurting her more than she could bear. And that was something she would not stand for.
Resolve hardening, she allowed herself another brief look at Miranda before turning her back and walking away.
Walking away from the woman that had become the most important part of her life. The woman who had occupied her every waking thought for the last year or so.
It was a bittersweet pill to swallow, to know that after she had excelled at the one thing she had wanted since the day she put on her first pair of Jimmy Choos, she was the one walking away.
After having become the best assistant that Miranda had ever had she was abandoning her in Paris, during the most important week of her life.
And as suddenly as the thought crossed her mind she stopped.
That's what she was doing in this moment wasn't she.
Like Nate had abandoned her.
Like Stephen had abandoned Miranda.
Was this the type of person she had become, that when things got bad she would run away. When something that she didn't approve of occurred she walked away, instead of facing the problem.
Sure, it had hurt that Miranda had betrayed Nigel in that way, but it was to save her job. Could she really blame her for that?
After all, Miranda was getting a divorce, her daughters would be upset, was she really going to sit back and lose the only other thing that mattered to her?
And to top it off now Miranda would have to deal with a wayward assistant that had decided to grow a back-bone and develop a conscious.
Could she really do this now? Leave Miranda when she needed her the most? Walk away and never look back at the mess she left behind?
She remembered the look of devastation and hopelessness on Miranda's face as she walked into her suite last night. She saw the sadness, the self-loathing, and disappointment in her swollen eyes.
Andy saw a glimpse inside the woman that was called the devil. She had seen what it was like for Miranda to put on this cold exterior in front of everyone, this façade that she maintained. She saw how much it cost her. How much it still cost her.
No she wouldn't run.
Just then her phone rang.
She stared at it for a few seconds.
In case you were wondering, the person whose calls you always take that's the relationship you're in.
"I sincerely hope, that you crossed the street to make a wish at the fountain and not because your walking away Andrea," Miranda's voice floated through. She did not sound happy.
Turning back to look at Miranda she saw her staring right back at her through her dark sunglasses. She held her gaze for a moment before she realized what Miranda had said.
Realizing Miranda had given her a lifeboat, she grabbed on to it like a woman drowning n the ocean.
"I'm sorry Miranda, I saw the tourists-"
"I do no care for your pitiful excuses, Andrea. Do what you must on your own free time, not mine, " hissed Miranda, she was fuming. And then she paused, her voice losing some of its iciness. "I expect you back at the hotel by 8pm. " And with that she hung up.
Andrea stood shell shocked.
Miranda not fired her on the spot for almost walking away. She had instead given her the day off. No doubt there would be hell to pay for this when she got back tonight. And Andy was already dreading it.
With nothing to do Andy simply walked on.
She needed to think.
Come up with an explanation. Figure out what to do. See Paris week through and then leave, give her two weeks notice, or stay on.
But most of all she needed to know why now. Why today of all days she had decided enough was enough. Why today seemed to be the day she cracked.
She knew it wasn't just Nigel. Sure that had been the cherry on top but that wasn't the main reason as much as she would like to tell herself it was.
Andy had been startled by the conversation in the car. She wasn't Miranda. Nor did she want to be. But that wasn't what had caused her to take her step away. Run away like a frightened cat, afraid to turn into the one thing she despised, despite her growing respect for Miranda.
No, it wasn't her growing a conscious, now of all times.
Coming out of her musings when a car honked at her, Andy crossed the street, making her way over to the park in front of her. Walking to a bench she sat down ignoring the stares she got on her way. She was still wearing her dress. Not the ideal clothing for a walk in the park.
Andy observed the lush green grass and the beautiful trees. She watched the children playing, couples walking hand and hand, enjoying the brisk weather.
The peacefulness of the area surrounded her, enveloping her like a warm comforter, until all she wanted to do was just snuggle in deeper.
Andy was calmer now. Relaxed.
She allowed the wind to gently blow across her face, her hair coming across her face.
Content in this new change of atmosphere Andy allowed her mind to wonder back to the matter at hand.
But for some reason she was unable to focus on her decision to stay or not. Her mind kept wondering back to Miranda in that gray bathrobe, her eyes red and puffy, face with no makeup. The vulnerability she had seen in Miranda having touched her in a way she hadn't thought possible.
Something had stirred inside of Andy when she saw Miranda so lost and devastated. Something broke inside of her.
She felt sadness, sympathy and even a small amount of pity for Miranda. And then all too soon it was replaced by anger and rage at Stephen for daring to hurt Miranda in such a way. For not having the guts to wait till Miranda was done with fashion week. For not having the balls to say it to Miranda's face in person. How dare he.
Watching Miranda in that state, Andy wanted to reach out and hold her. To help her through this. To be the shoulder that Miranda cried on. To be the pillar of strength that Miranda so desperately needed and then when she reached out, Miranda rebuffed her.
She had asked if there was anything else she needed, hoping that Miranda would lean on her. Bur instead all she was told to do was her job.
Andy had felt hurt course through her when Miranda rejected her offer. It was then that she knew Miranda would never see her as anything more than an assistant. And that did not sit well with Andy.
So Andy did what Andy did best, she ran, throwing herself in the arms of Christian. She needed to feel wanted. To feel as if someone cared for her personally. Nate had up and left, he no longer desired her and Miranda did not want anything more form her except her to do her job.
Sitting there, in that small park the truth hit Andy like a ton of bricks. She was hurt that Miranda had not confided in her more. She was hurt that Miranda did not care more for her on a personal level. She shouldn't be. There was nothing to be upset about. After all Miranda was her boss and Andy was her assistant. And yet she was so upset over this revelation that she almost walked away. Thrown everything she had worked so hard to accomplish down the drain, because Miranda Priestly did not care for her.
Sitting there watching the sunset Andy could no longer deny it to herself, no matter how hard she tried, and try she did.
Andy was in love with Miranda. It was the only explanation.
And just as the truth revealed itself to her, the peacefulness vanished and the panic set in.
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
I'm in love with the devil.
And I'm late. Fuck.
Paris, Ritz Hotel: 8:15pm
Andy walked up to Miranda's room slowly, her heart growing heavier with each step. Dread setting in around her. Not only was she going to be chewed out by Miranda, but she was also late.
She arrived at Miranda's room, closing her eyes and she strengthened her defenses. She would not let Miranda Priestly walk all over her. No more.
The wait felt like hours instead of the seconds it actually was. The dead silence of the hallway did nothing to improve that notion.
And at last the door opened.
There stood Miranda in all her glory. She looked gorgeous wearing comfortable Chanel jeans and an off the shoulder red Valentino blouse that seemed to hug her curves in all the right places. And to think she was about to walk away from this.
But all thoughts of gorgeous Miranda flew out the window when Andy finally saw the expression on her face.
Or rather lack of.
No it was her eyes that terrified her the most.
Miranda's face was blank, lips pressed together, and her eyes held all the iciness in the world.
Andy felt a cold chill pass through her body as she met Miranda's icy gaze head on.
"Your late, " she hissed abruptly turning on her heels.
Andy hesitantly took a step pass the threshold, her steps becoming more sure and powerful as she followed Miranda deeper into the suite.
"I'm sorry, I-" Miranda interrupted her with a raised hand ceasing all excuses.
Miranda had sat down on the same couch Andy had found her on last night.
Miranda said nothing simply looking on and observing Andrea as she stood there.
As they sat their simply staring at each other, Andy saw a flash of hurt in her eyes disappearing as quickly as it came.
Disbelieving, Andy thought that couldn't be right. Why on earth was Miranda hurt? She could not be upset about her almost leaving could she? Barely allowing herself to hope she stood there under her intense scrutiny.
Finally after what felt like hours, Miranda motioned for her to sit and rubbed her nose as she closed her eyes sighing deeply. Miranda seemed tried and resigned as if this was causing her an immense amount of pain.
Andy, confused as hell sat down opposite Miranda in the plush armchair, waiting for her to speak.
At long last, Miranda opened her eyes to look at Andrea. Her blue eyes piercing Andy as if she were staring deep into her soul.
Andy tried very hard to shake under her intense gaze.
"You will hand in her two week notice when we return and find a suitable replacement for yourself," Miranda ordered, her voice resigned containing a hard edge.
'Miranda, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to walk away, I mean I did, but I was going to come back, I swear, when your phone rang I was just about to turn back and I'm so so sorry it won't ever happen again. I was just confused and needed some time to think I-"
"For goodness sake Andrea, cease your incessant babbling this instant. Tell me Andrea, how can I possibly trust the girl who almost walked away during the most important week of my career."
"It was a mistake Miranda, one that will not happen again."
"Your right it won't happen again because you will no longer be working for me. That's all," Miranda whispered in that quiet voice of hers.
Andy simply sat there for a second, stunned. She could not believe Miranda was seriously punishing her for something that she had not even committed. In fact, Andy wished that she had left, then, she would have at least been able to maintain a semblance of dignity, instead of sitting here begging for her job.
Andy got up to leave, dumbfounded. But just as she was about to reach the door she spun around. If she was going to be fired then she might as well have her say because she was never going to get that chance again.
Miranda simply stared in surprise as Andrea stalked back towards her.
"I assure you Andrea, that the door-"
Andy cut her off and she was pissed.
"I can't believe you. You know I thought that everyone was wrong when they called you the Dragon Lady, Ice Queen, because you know what, I saw the real you, the one that no one else got to see. I saw the Miranda Priestly who is a great mother to her daughters, I saw the Miranda Priestly that tried to make her marriage work, I saw the Miranda Priestly who was devastated when her Stephen asked for a divorce, but most of all I saw the Miranda Priestly who despite the impending divorce forged onwards separating professional and personal lives. But now I'm standing here not looking at this woman who is not Miranda Priestly but rather a mere shadow of her." Andy whispered sadly, looking down at Miranda with sadness and desperation in her eyes.
"How dare you. If you think for one second that you will ever get another job-"
Andy laughed bitterly, interrupting Miranda once again.
"Job, you think that I just shouted at you for my job. God dammit Miranda, I could care less about the job at the moment. I care about you onl-"
"Don't be ridiculous Andrea. You are making a fool of yourself. Leave at once and I shall simply mistake this as a folly on your part due to the shock of being fired," She waved dismissively.
Andy was having none of that though.
"A fool….folly… you really think that I would lie. No one in their right minds would risk everything to tell you they care about you, knowing exactly what you will do to them."
"Care about me? Tell me Andrea if you truly, as you say, care about me you would not have left me without an assistant during the most important event of Paris Fashion Week, "Miranda replied, voice laced with steel.
"But I didn't leave, I came back. I was not going to leave. Don't you know by now Miranda I always come back to you," Andy pleaded.
"Andrea, the idea that you think that it matters to me if you are here or not is laughable. You are and will never be anything ore than my assistant. I don't see what it is you want from me if not your job. Perhaps a recommendation. Is that why you are working so hard to convince me you care about me?"
Anguish tore through Andy. Of course, she was a fool to think that Miranda would see her as something other than a lowly assistant. But to say that she was doing all this to get a recommendation that infuriated Andy more than anything else.
"A recommendation, you think I am baring my heart out to you for a recommendation," Andy cried outraged.
"Enough Andrea. I have put up with your silly outburst. I will have no more. Leave before I decide to blacklist you from ever working again. TV Guide will look good compared to the jobs you will find. I will put up with no more-"
Enraged and determined to shut Miranda up and prove her point Andy leapt forward and grabbed the back of Miranda's head, entangling her fingers in her silver locks and slammed her lips against Miranda's as she straddled her.
Andy's tongue pushed inside her mouth, and Miranda gasped. A hand caressed her cheek, trailing down her jaw, her throat. Miranda gripped the collar of her shirt. Andy felt Miranda finally give in and start to kiss her back, tongues fighting for dominance. The kiss angry and rough with Andy trying to prove a point left Miranda gasping for air.
When Andy finally pulled away, Miranda's lips were swollen and bruised, her eyes glazed and cheeks flushed. Her hair wasn't in any better state, locks sticking out everywhere. It was in a complete disarray.
Andy leaned her forehead against Miranda's as they tried to catch their breaths. Miranda, whose eyes were closed, opened them to stare into deep chocolate brown eyes. Andy looked at her for any signs of anger and disgust. She found nothing but pure happiness and well what seemed like arousal.
"Don't ever walk away from me again," Miranda's voice laced with hurt.
"I won't. I promise."
Andy looking her in the eyes leaned forward and delivered soft kisses to her lips again teasing her, licking her bottom lip with her tongue, trying to worm her way in and them pulling back when Miranda leaned in for more. Miranda growled, grabbing her and pulling her in for another deep and passionate kiss that left them both yearning for more.
Pulling away Andy rested her head in the crook of Miranda's neck as Miranda ran her hand up and down Andy's arms.
Andy lifted her head up and grinned staring down at Miranda.
"Don't" growled Miranda, knowing exactly she was about to say.
"You were saying? Ah yes that's right, lowly assistant, means nothing to me," Andrea teased punctuating each word with a kiss.
Miranda accepted the kisses with a small smile on her lips.
"You wouldn't have me any other way."
Miranda chuckled kissing her softly once more.
"Does this still mean I'm fired?"
"Would you like to stop this?"
"NO!" Shouted Andy horrified at the thought.
"Then yes, your still fired," Miranda replied wryly.
Breathing in deeply Andy rested her head against Miranda's shoulder. She was content to just be held by the woman of her dreams. They would deal with what ever else came their way later. Right now in this moment it was just the two of them and that's how she wanted it. Knowing Miranda thought of her as more than an assistant she allowed her self to succumb to a deep sleep, glad she hadn't walked away.