She stood in front of the NCIS building. She had been here a couple of weeks earlier, but then it was not so pleasant. She hoped that she could start a new life here without her father's control. True, she didn't know others as well as the director, but she had met them under not so good circumstances. Now she is permanently here, though she is a little early. Hopefully it's not a problem. She could feel the nervousness inside of her, except she was not scared easily. Terrorists don't scare her, bombs don't scare her, but the idea of change and the start of something new scared her too much.
So she just stood in front of NCIS. People walked pass her in suits and carrying brief cases. Women looked fabulous in their suits and had their hair done in hair salon for sure. Their nails were sure manicured and pedicured or whatever things done, that she doesn't understand. She feels like an outsider. She is not in suit or fancy skirt – she looks like someone, who lives in barn and sleeps with cows and sheep. That's how she felt with her clothes. She also had an back-bag, while others carried fancy bags from Armani and Gucci and others, that she has heard about, but never has had those. In her home life is cheap and expensive things don't stay long – they get blown up and ruined with blood splashing all over those fancy and expensive things.
She knew the people inside the building, where she was supposed to work now. There was a great bunch of people starting with serial divorcer and ending with farting stuffed animal. They were all different and unique people and now she is part of them. When she walks in of course. Maybe she doesn't fit it ? After all she comes from very different culture and place. Nothing is the same. She is not like them. She didn't play with barbie dolls and think about prince charming – she had to play with guns and think about surviving. She comes from that kind of place. And it's hard to fit in here, but she'll do it, because she has to. She can't go back and face her father and everybody else. She simply can't. Not after what happened. She can't look her father in the eye and lie, despite her training and knowledge and skills. Still she has conscious and she can't lie to her parent.
The funny thing is that she had made profiles of them all. They knew little of her, except for one person. Thanks to her, she is starting her life here now. It's huge. Nothing remains the same, but it's not bad. It's good. This change is good. Sometimes it's like that. She deserves to be here. She wants to be here. She needs to be here. She will be here.
She needs to be here. But it's weird to go there and take the place of dead girl. She doesn't want to and probably never will replace the agent that fell on the line of duty. She was a good agent, great friend and very attractive woman. Why would anyone want to kill her ? Apparently it was her half-brother, who killed that agent. The last living sibling, until he is dead. She killed her half brother and now she's going to work for the man, who is the blame for all of this. Weird ? Yeah, she could feel the weirdness in the air – it's almost palpable. Yet she is still here and even thoughts of her dead half-brother can't make her go. The thoughts of a dead NCIS agent, whose desk, place and salary she'll be taking. She is a burglar, the bad guy. They might see her like that, she might see herself like that, but it's not good reason either. There is no good reason to left and fly back home and forget NCIS.
The woman could come up with ten reasons why she should turn away and run and few reasons, why she should stay. Maybe her head was not working properly yet. Maybe she didn't want her head to work properly. Sometimes it's good not to think. But she has to figure out what she wants. She left her father – the only living family, her friends, her boyfriend, her luxury Tel Aviv apartment, her flowers on the window and her country. She left her home for this job. The change is gonna come. Or has it come already ? Who knows... What she does know is that she needs it and she has to do it. It'll be okay. She'll fit in and be one of them. She can do it. She is professional spy after all.
Positive ideas on her mind – the woman with brown frizzled hair, deep brown eyes, Mediterranean tan and military back-bag walked into the big building in Washington DC. Her new life started that very moment she entered the NCIS building, because then there was no way back anymore.
She knows that she'll forever be Israeli, Mossad assassin and the half-sister of man, who killed their friend. She can't change that, but she's gonna try like hell not to be like her half-brother. To prove them wrong about her. Yeah, she's gonna do that and that is the goal she tried to archive at that moment.
She has no expectations, no hopes and no fears. Not anymore. She feels nothing on the surface. But the gnawing fear of deception lies under the hardcore killer image. Though she'll never admit it. She is a little scared, a little hopeful, a little ordinary... a little normal human, behind her strong well kept mask. She never let anyone know that, but she was scared deep inside her soul, deeper than the blood flows, deeper than the deepest secret locates, deeper than the ocean flows, deeper than her past goes...
She put her necklace with the star of David under her shirt and turned a page in her her life. Just like that. On that moment she became NCIS special agent and stopped being Mossad officer. She is investigator now, not an assassin. The change has been made, the page has been turned, now the life must go on towards... something better.
Ziva David was changed.