I was awake. I was bored. Need I say more?

Yes, I do XD

Naruto is not mine, and I don't profit in any way from this story, other that the fact that I use it to improve my writing skills. Enjoy.

Why do I feel so weird?

One moment, I'm just fine and dandy, and the next…bam, I hit rock bottom. It all started with those two words Zetsu said to me:

"Itachi's dead."

…Why did that bother me so much? I mean, I had some sick fantasies about things I could do to him, but that was it. I didn't plan on acting on them. Itachi would have me castrated before I even tried.

Besides, he wasn't that kind of guy. He didn't like guys…or girls, for that matter. He seemed to be, to quote Shakespeare, "As chaste as ice, as pure as snow." About as virgin as virgin gets. I doubted that he'd ever been kissed, or that he'd ever let me kiss him.

He was like the forbidden apple in the garden of Eden- beautiful, desirable, tempting, yet ultimately untouchable. I never got anywhere with him. I wrote it off as lust. He was sexy, I was horny, and that was all there was to it.

So why did I care so much when he died?

Ever since that day, I'd been unable to forget him. I couldn't focus, and Madara wasn't helping matters any.

Itachi's kid brother joined up with Akatsuki…or, rather, what was left of Akatsuki. With Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Hidan all dead (or buried, in Hidan's case), the organization was a shell of its former self. He was just another reminder of what I'd lost…what I'd never had.

Something about Itachi…drew me in, so to speak. His cool demeanor, perhaps…his charming (once you got to know him) personality? His 'don't fuck with me' attitude…something about him made him attractive to me.

I wasn't supposed to be sentimental. Love was foreign to me. I'd only ever known lust. I was supposed to be a ruthless killer. But now, here I am, poised to die, having already bitten out my own tongue. All for some new emotion I felt toward a coworker. Why was I doing this? It wasn't who I was.

"We only know who we really are right before we die. As death comes to claim you, you finally realize your true nature. I think that's why we die in the first place, don't you?"

Maybe I wasn't so bad…I mean, I was willing to die for what I believed in…an honest world, where my life wasn't a lie. That had to count for something.

Well, Itachi-san, I thought, as I readied my summons to kill me, thus going, hopefully, to where Itachi was. We were fighting for the same thing. Did that mean we got to go to the same place?

I guess you were right. In the end…

Even if I never got to say "I love you." Even if I never had the guts to tell you how I felt…

I'm not so terrible after all.

D'aww, Kisame fluff :D

Please review :D