Lord Of The Books.

A/N: This is my first black books story like ever ... i love black books and its an extremely funny series please Reveiw after saving my story. Reveiws make the world go round...

(Little challenge for you...Can you name the song in this that bernard is singing?)

It was about 10pm at night and Manny along with Bernard were walking back to the store. They had just been to a wine tasting and just got kicked ot of the tasting for getting completely tanked and threating all the party members with wine lazers (basicly an empty bottle of wine was pointed at the poor party members while they went 'pew''pew') and it resulted in the body gaurds being called and the two of them being shown the front door with still an empty bottle of wine in their hands which was 10 times worse because they began to terrorize the civilians with their lazer wines.

As they got to the front door of Blacks Books, Bernard smiled at Manny as if he was the grinch who wanted to steal christmas.

As Manny was trying to open the door Bernard put his arm around Manny's shoulder

As Manny opened the door Bernard began to sing

'Outta my way im running

Im gonna catch you if i can'

Instead of walking through the door, Bernard fell through, still singing as crawled himself over the mountains of books that were littered all over the floor towards the desk.

Manny just skipped in singing the Miami Vice theme tune suddenly turning around for no reason doing finger pistols at the door while he closed it.

Bernard just belly crawled his way to the desk using both hands to pull himself up with the desk grinning evily.

Without warning, a large encyclopedia of birds came hurtling towards Manny as he dogged it so the book hit a bookshelf causing it to fall of the wall and crash on the floor.

"BOOK (*hic*) WAR!" Yelled out Bernard.

"your on!" cried out Manny

Manny responded to Bernards attack by throwing three hardback books at Bernard which missed him as one hit the phone, the other Breaking a bottle of wine (missing the bottle of Absinthe) and the last one flying into the kitchen where something got broken with a loud 'crunch' and 'squelch'.

Bernard took one look behind the curatin to see the damage that one of the Dan Brown novels had done. His head reamerged from behind the curtain to face Manny, grinning stupidly.

"Manny you bastard you crushed my kerbab" he slurred as he fell to the floor once more.

"Bernard that kebab has been on the kitchen floor for three days and its starting to grow organisms" said Manny falling on the floor next to Bernard.

"hey hey did you see the chairman of the wine tasting group" asked Bernard

"do you mean the one who looked like a melted rabbit which was stuck to the ceiling" answered Manny

"what about the tall bouncer"

"you could use his head s a solar pannel all you had to do is shove a power connection up his arse"

"you know what" started Bernard "that dave syndrome that you said you suffer from i dont think its a real disease

"it is Bernard"

"is not"


"is not"

"is a real disease"

"is not a real disease"

"it is Bernard and its serious"

"i find it hard to believe that you caused all that damage, the road, the police car, the..."

"I DID DO THAT!" yelled Manny.

"it was skinheads, thugs"

"i was not. it was me"

Feeling sleep overtaking him, Bernards eyes began to slowly close soon he was fast asleep on his front over a pile of childrens books.

Manny slowly got up, grabbed the blanket from the seat and covered Bernards sleepy form with it.

"goodnight mate" siad Manny quietly as he curled himself up on couch.

**I hope you liked it if there are mistakes please forgive me i will get the corrected*

Tarya Ni'Awtu xxx