Disclaimer: Still haven't convinced J.K. to hand over the rights to Harry Potter.
Author's Note: Here you go Mara. Hope you like it.
"Potter! I can't believe you!" Lily Evans screamed. "Every single day you ask me out and every single day I tell you to stop! Can't you just grow up and stop stalking me!"
"But I love you!" James claimed.
"We're only twelve!" Lily reminded him. "How do you know you love me?"
"One, you're the most beautiful girl in the entire world," he told her. "Two, you're incredibly brilliant. Three, you're a kind person. Four, you have a gorgeous smile. Five, you're funny and wonderful and you always know the perfect thing to say. Six, you're feisty and brave. Seven, you stand up for your friends, even though I don't approve of them. Eight-"
"That's enough, Potter!" Lily snapped. "I do have to do my homework sometime!"
For most girls, hearing that list would have completely melted them. For Lily, it was just another annoyance.
Sirius Black, James' best friend, watched the scene with an amused smile. He'd seen this spectacle every day for the last year and it was still funny.
"We really need to do something about those two," Regulus Black, Sirius' younger brother, remarked.
Sirius turned to face him.
"When did you get here?" he asked.
"I've been standing right next to you for the last five minutes," Regulus told him.
"What do you mean by do something about them?" Sirius asked.
"I've been listening to Snape complaining about Potter every single day and it's starting to get on my nerves," Regulus told him.
"So we should break them up?" Sirius asked. "That's going to be bloody impossible."
"I was thinking more get them together," Regulus replied. "I've got to do something to get back at Snape for interrupting my homework all the time."
"We'll make a Gryffindor of you yet!" he declared.
"Don't get your hopes up," Regulus replied.
"So, do you have a plan?" Sirius asked.
"You're the man with the plans," Regulus reminded him. "I just do all the work."
"I'll need you to lend me that book," Sirius decided, the gears in his head already spinning.
"It's mine this year!" he whined. "You had it last year and you promised I could have it this year!"
"Do you want a good prank?" Sirius asked.
"How will a book of muggle fairy tales help us get Potter and Evans together?" Regulus asked.
"Same way we got Narcissa and Lucius together," Sirius told him, smiling at the memory.
Regulus looked unimpressed.
"I thought you told me true mischief makers never use the same trick twice," he recalled.
"Not the same trick," Sirius insisted. "Just something along the same lines. Snow White, maybe."
Regulus shook his head.
"How about Sleeping Beauty?" he suggested.
"You might be on to something," Sirius admitted. "Just get me that book. I need to do a bit of research."
"Fine," Regulus agreed. "Just be sure to give it back."
He reached into his bag and pulled out a battered copy of 'Grimm's Fairy Tales.' He handled the book reverently as he handed it to Sirius, who held it with equal care. Both brothers would cite this book as their most prized possession. They had found it hidden in Regulus' room when they were kids and they had loved the stories. The heroes, the princesses, the magic, the battles. It was heaven for two young boys who had been raised reading political treatises on the Ministry of Magic. Although both had now found new books, by wizarding authors, that they enjoyed, 'Grimm's Fairy Tales' remained closest to their hearts.
"I'll return it within a week," Sirius promised.
"It won't take you that long to think up a scheme," Regulus told him.
"Please!" Sirius begged. "I want to re-read it. I've missed these stories!"
"Okay, fine," he agreed. "One week. But no more."
Sirius punched the air.
"Lily!" Sirius hissed. "Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily!"
"What is it, Black?" she snapped, looking up from her breakfast.
"Want an apple?" he asked.
"I don't like apples," she told him.
"How can you not like apples?" Sirius asked, gasping in mock horror.
"They taste terrible," she said.
Sirius shrugged and took a bite from the apple he'd been offering her.
"Oh well," he sighed.
He was quiet for about five seconds.
"Lily!" he began again. "Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily!"
"What?" she snapped.
"My brother just threw a spindle at you," he told her.
She turned around to see what he was talking about. There was most certainly a large spindle flying through the air towards her from the direction of the Slytherin table.
"What on earth?" she gasped.
Sirius grinned, waiting for the spindle to crash into her and send her off to dreamland. Then, James had to ruin it by doing the most ridiculously brave and stupid thing Sirius had ever seen. He jumped in between Lily and the spindle. The spindle instead crashed into James, who had just enough time to look at Sirius and ask "What did you do to me?" before he collapsed. Sirius jumped over the table to his friend's side. Lily Evans glared at him.
"I wasn't involved!" he insisted.
Of course, Regulus had to ruin it by running over to see what had happened.
"YOU said it would work! 'Perfectly safe! Nothing could go wrong!'" Regulus snapped in a surprisingly good imitation of his brother.
"Well I wasn't expecting James to jump in front of it!" Sirius retorted. "We engineered that potion for Lily! Who knows what it will do to him!"
"We didn't engineer the potion!" Regulus reminded him. "I'm getting Snape!"
He ran off and returned seconds later, dragging Severus Snape with him.
"Sev! You were involved!" Lily shrieked.
"They didn't tell me what they wanted the potion for," Snape told her. "They just read me a muggle story and asked me if I thought it was possible to make a potion that would imitate the effects from the story. I told them how to do it."
"Why did you tell them that?" Lily asked.
"Because I didn't expect Regulus to do something this stupid," Snape said.
"He's my brother, what did you expect? It was actually his idea."
"It was your plan though," Regulus reminded him. "I wasn't the one who thought it would be a good idea to throw a poisoned spindle across the great hall."
"It would have worked if James hadn't been such an idiot," Sirius protested.
"You should have factored in your friend's idiocy," Regulus insisted.
"Stop arguing!" Lily shrieked. "Stop arguing and fix things!"
The brothers looked at Snape.
"You messed with my recipe," Snape observed, carefully sniffing the spindle.
"We couldn't find nutmeg," Sirius told him. "So we left that out."
"It's in the kitchens," Snape told them. "It's a spice. And…wait! You left the nutmeg out!"
"Yeah," Regulus agreed. "And we didn't have a lot of time, so we only let it sit for twenty minutes before adding the gillyweed."
"Damn!" Snape muttered. "Damn! Damn! DAMN!"
"What is it?" Lily asked.
"Hold on," Snape said.
He pulled a quill and a piece of parchment out of his bag and began working out complicated equations. After several minutes, he looked up.
"He has three hours," he told them.
"Before what?" Sirius asked.
"Before he dies," Snape replied. "Assuming it was James' hair you threw in there."
"Lily's," Regulus corrected. "We were aiming at her."
"Then James probably saved her life," Snape said.
"What do you mean?" Remus Lupin asked, joining the group. "What happened?"
"James jumped in front of a poisoned spindle for Lily and now he's going to die in three hours," Sirius told him glumly.
"Are you serious?" Remus asked.
"Very," Sirius replied.
"Wow, you didn't make a joke about your name," Remus observed. "It must be really bad. I bet it was Avery."
"It was me," Regulus admitted. "We made a mistake with the potion. It was only supposed to send Lily to sleep until James kissed her."
"We being you and Sirius?" Remus guessed.
The brothers nodded.
"So there's nothing we can do?" Remus asked.
"You're lying!" Lily accused.
"Why do you say that?" Sirius asked, looking hopeful.
"He always bites his lip when he's lying," Lily explained.
"You notice things like that?" Regulus asked.
"We're friends," Lily said defensively.
"There's one upside to your mistakes," Snape admitted. "You put in Lily's hair, instead of James' like you should have. That means, if Lily kisses him, he'll wake up and be fine."
Lily looked torn.
"We should ask Dumbledore if he can help," she said. "I don't want to kiss him if I don't have to."
"I'll go get him," Regulus offered.
They turned to see Dumbledore standing behind them.
"I figured something must be happening if Sirius and Severus were talking without hexing each other," he remarked. "Now what's going on here?"
"Do you know the muggle story Sleeping Beauty?" Sirius asked.
"Me and Reg wanted to get James and Lily together, so we decided to make Lily fall asleep and have James kiss her and wake her up," he explained. "But we messed up the potion. And now Snape says James will die in three hours unless Lily kisses him."
"May I see the recipe?" Dumbledore asked.
Regulus fumbled around in his bag for several minutes before holding out a piece of paper in Snape's messy scrawl.
"This is complicated," Dumbledore observed. "I don't think even I could find a cure in three hours. I'll have to see what Slughorn says. Why don't you boys take him up to my office? Lily, you go too. The password is 'chocolate frogs.'"
Sirius and Remus picked up James' unconscious form and began carrying him upstairs. Regulus, Snape, and Lily followed.
"What do you think I should do?" Lily whispered to Regulus as the group sat waiting nervously in Dumbledore's office. They had laid James out on a table and Sirius was filling Remus and Snape in on a more complete version of the story.
"You should kiss him, marry him, and have lots of beautiful children," Regulus told her.
"Darn it," she muttered. "I forgot you were involved. I can't get an unbiased opinion, can I?"
"No one is unbiased," Regulus told her. "Just kiss him. Do you know how lame Sleeping Beauty would be if the prince didn't kiss her?"
"How do you know that story anyway?" she asked. "I thought purebloods avoided muggle things like the plague."
"Our mother would kill us if she knew about that book," he told her.
"You're not as much of a perfect pureblood as everyone seems to think," Lily observed. "You're really a lot like Sirius."
"Thank you," Regulus replied. "I try."
"You're welcome?" Lily replied, giving him an odd look.
Clearly, she couldn't fathom the fact that Sirius and Regulus actually got along quite well, despite the fact that both of them claimed to hate the other and they hexed each other as often as possible. Some people just didn't understand.
"How long has Dumbledore been gone?" Remus asked.
"I don't know," he said. "An hour, maybe?"
"I'm worried," Sirius admitted. "My best friend is going to die and it's all my fault."
After one last accusing look at Lily, Regulus hurried over to his brother.
"It's not your fault," he told him. "It was my idea. And if he dies it'll be Lily's fault, because she could have saved him whenever she wanted to, but she was just too mean."
"It's not that!" Lily insisted. "If I have to, I'll do it. I just don't want Potter to steal my first kiss."
"Is that what you're worried about?" Regulus asked.
"That and the fact that James will never let me forget it," Lily said.
"Well, I can't do anything about the second one, but the first isn't a problem," Regulus remarked.
"What do you mean?" Lily asked.
"If I can make it so he doesn't steal your first kiss, will you do it?" Regulus asked.
"I guess," Lily agreed. "But how are you going to do that?"
Regulus ran up to Lily and planted a light kiss on her lips before she could even think to back away.
"You are brilliant!" he declared.
"I know," Regulus replied. "What else is new?"
"So, you have to do it now," Sirius said to Lily. "You promised!"
Lily glared darkly at the Black brothers, before making her way to James' side. She closed her eyes, leaned down, and kissed James lightly. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he wrapped his arms around Lily, pulling her into a deeper kiss.
It was approximately ten seconds before she managed to get away from him. Not that anyone was counting.
"Get off me!" she screamed.
"But, Lily!" James whined. "You kissed me!"
"Not by choice!" she insisted.
"But all that was stopping you from kissing me was the fact that you didn't want me to steal your first kiss," James reminded her.
"I wasn't just going to let you die!" she retorted. "And wait! You could hear that!"
Behind her, Sirius and Regulus were laughing hysterically.
Lily turned on them.
"You!" she declared. "This was your real plan, wasn't it!"
"I can't deny it," Sirius replied, still chuckling. "Did you really think I'd use one of Snivellus' potions?"
"Sev, you were in on it too?" Lily asked quietly.
"No!" he insisted.
"We did ask him about the potion," Regulus told her.
"And Reg figured out how to manipulate it to make him say James would die in three hours," Sirius added.
"And we had Peter drink polyjuice and turn into Dumbledore," Regulus continued. "Dumbledore's actually away from school on business."
"You are so evil!" she declared. "And you!" She turned on James. "I can't believe you'd do something like this to me! You swear you love me, then you try to trick me into kissing you!"
"I didn't try to trick you into kissing me!" James insisted. "I did trick you into kissing me! And admit it, you loved it."
"I did not!" Lily claimed.
"Anyway, what did Regulus do to make you do it?" James asked.
Regulus made desperate hushing motions behind James' back, but Lily ignored them.
"He kissed me," she announced.
James turned on Regulus.
"You did what?"
Regulus ducked behind Sirius for protection.
"Easy, James, easy," Remus said. "It was just a quick peck on the cheek and it got her to do it. Remember that. If he hadn't done it, she wouldn't have kissed you."
"Not helping," James growled.
"Hey! Stay away from the kid brother!" Sirius demanded. "You'll have to go through me first!"
Suddenly, Peter ran into the room.
"Help!" he screamed. "There's an army of Slytherins out there! They're gonna kill me!"
"Why are they going to kill you?" Lily asked calmly.
"I was taking a bunch of points from Slytherin and then the polyjuice wore off and now they want to kill me!" Peter explained hysterically. "I'm gonna die!"
"You're not going to die," James promised. "We'll protect you! Well, I can't speak for Regulus, Snivellus, and Lily, but the rest of us will."
"You're on your own," Snape told them.
"I'll help!" Regulus said, transfiguring his tie colors to red and gold. "I can always say that someone from Gryffindor used polyjuice to turn into me."
"I'll help too," Lily agreed reluctantly.
"Great! Now let's go kick some Slytherin ass!" James declared.
The assembled group cheered.
Thanks for reading.
Hope you enjoyed.