A/N well, I thought that the revelation in A Good Man Goes To War would change the way River lived her life if the Doctor had never existed in the universe. So, spoilers for Pandorica Opens and A Good Man Goes To War.
"He doesn't really know me yet"
River knew that the implications of this statement were really for all persons in the room. Not only would the Doctor never know who she was, and would never ever love her.
But she wouldn't be her. Her parents stood before her would never had gone though the agonies that they had to just to have their daughter safely returned.
She wouldn't be a Time Lady, or half of one anyway. She wouldn't be able to fire a gun or speak every single language in the universe.
But she supposed none of that was truly important, not to her. The Doctor would never know her.
She wanted to cry.
She wouldn't exist.
Melody Williams. Geography teacher might, maybe even Melody Pond. But seeing as River Song was a direct translation from a prayer leaf given to Amelia Pond a month after her daughter's birth written in the language of the Gamma forest. No, she would never be River Song.
But she had to admire him. Her darling Doctor. Her training and entire life would all be non existent. She would never have been taught to hate him and kill him, but instead she'd fallen in love with him. And he with her.
She would never been in that position again.
What if Amy didn't work it out? What if he never could come back? What if the Doctor never came back to the universe?
What happens then?
Melody Williams was Amy and Rory's first child. Her Aunt Sharon had disproved the name of course, but Mrs Pond loved it.
She was a strange child, drawing circular pictures and calling them her secret language. She was intelligent and loving languages the second she started school. Her parents loved her. But they worried so much.
Like mother like daughter.
Melody was sent to physiatrists, not for delusions, but for nightmares.
Melody's nightly terrors.
A woman with an eyepatch, who merely stared at her, smirking. No matter how many people told her that the woman couldn't hurt her, that she was just looking at her. Sometimes she heard the woman speak "wakey wakey" the woman would say.
Sometimes she would be attacked by a space suit. It would eat her up and make her kill a golden man on a beach far away. She would be trapped till she woke up screaming in her Father's arms.
There was one where she is in a Library. And she is in a great chair. And she is crying. She is sobbing her heart out to someone just outside her blurred line of sight and she knows that no-body can help her.
No matter how many physiatrists, or how old she got, Melody had nightmares.
But she also had an imagination, a lust for fiction.
She wrote them down. Her ideas and her dreams. Childhood scribbling became great works of literature.
Melody Williams. Author. Her father had preferred the idea of a more stable career. Teacher perhaps, the name was more suitable.
But Melody had always dreamed, be it good or bad.
And no one could ever take her terrors away.
A/N I know, its rubbish, but how would River cope? Would she have dreams? R&R if you want too.