Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters, but I do own the plot!
Please be nice, this is my first lemon. I hope you enjoy! This is just a little switcharoo on how BD should have went down on the honeymoon!
"I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again." -Edward Cullen, Breaking Dawn, pg. 98
I took his words as a challenge. There was no way in hell I was going to let some measly bruises ruin my newfound relationship with Edward. He needed to learn to get over it, I easily bruise. Now that I've had a taste of the wine, I'm not going back to the stale beer. I was not letting this stupid accident, if you call it that, ruin our honeymoon.
Hell, I married him. He's my husband. This is one of the things that come along with the beauty of marriage. I went against my parents' wishes, married young. I broke my best friend's heart. I ignored the stares and whispers of covering up an unexpected pregnancy. I gave up so much for him. This is something I do not want to give up, to have a physical relationship with my husband. Two could play at that game.
Let the games begin.
I finished eating my breakfast that Edward cooked for me, the same eggs and bacon. I downed my glass of orange juice then set the glass down. I was starting the competition against Edward's beliefs today. I was not going to let him ruin our honeymoon.
"What would you like to do today, love? Maybe swimming with the dolphins or hiking?" he asked.
I admit, both sounded fun, but I had other ideas.
"Actually, I'm going to take a jog on the beach. Work off my breakfast," I said standing up.
He raised an eyebrow.
"Since when do you jog?" he asked.
"I've always jogged. I just haven't done it lately. But I need it," I said. It was true, that was how I use to work out. I need to clear my mind some anyways.
"Okay. Would you like me to join you?" he asked.
"No, that's fine. I just need some time to think to myself, you know," I said heading towards the bedroom.
"Okay. I'll just stay here and clean up then," he said.
I didn't look at him as I nodded at him. I hated leaving him here, but if I was ever to get back to our physical relationship, I needed to be strong.
I went to my suitcase and grabbed a sports bra and some Nike shorts. I'm sure Alice saw I would need these and packed them. I sent a silent thank you to Alice in my mind. I dressed quickly and put on my jogging shoes. I didn't bother to put a shirt over my sports bra, considering it was just us two on the whole island, and I hoped it would temp Edward. So my whole stomach was bare to the world. The shorts were a little shorter than I remember them being, but it only added to my appearance. I threw my hair up into a high ponytail and headed out of the bedroom.
Edward turned to me from where he was doing the dishes and dropped his jaw. I tried to hide a smile to keep up the I-don't-see-you attitude. I grabbed my ipod and headphones from the kitchen table. I swooped by to kiss his cheek, then headed out the door.
"She's going to be the death of me," I heard him mumble to himself.
I giggled and started my jog.
I blasted the music as the sweat started dripping down my neck. I needed to get my thoughts straight on how I was going to approach Edward. His guard was going to be up, but I was ready to tear it down. And I knew exactly how to do it.
An hour later, I came upon the beach house again. I caked in sweat and seriously needed a shower. I got up on the porch and leaned against one of the wood chairs to catch my breath. After my heart started calming down, I headed inside the cool house. Edward wasn't in the kitchen, and I didn't know where he was. I went to a cabinet and grabbed a glass to fill up with water. As I leaned my head back to drink the water, I could myself being watched. Edward was close.
When I put the glass down on the counter, I felt two cold arms wrap around my overheated skin from behind. I smiled to myself and turned in his arms.
"Your skin feels good," I said seductively.
He smiled at me and kissed my lips softly. I wasn't having any of that. I took his hair in my hands and pulled my body even closer to his. I opened my mouth to let him enter, and he pulled away immediately.
I pouted and he chuckled.
"Behave, Bella," he whispered.
"I don't want to behave. I want to be a bad girl and you, my punisher," I said, tugging on his collared shirt.
Before he could speak, I kissed him again. I heard him groan then felt myself lifted up onto the counter. I wrapped my legs around his waist and continued to kiss him. It stayed this way for a few seconds before he pulled back and put arms length between us.
"Bella, I'm serious," he warned.
I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever. I'm going to take a shower," I said hopping down and heading towards the bedroom.
When I got to the door, I leaned against it and turned to look at him.
"Would you like to join me?" I asked seductively again.
He visibly gulped before saying, "I don't think that would be a good idea, love."
"So, it's not like you haven't seen it all before. You're my husband. You're allowed to see it all," I said playfully.
"I'll just wait for you in the bedroom," he said.
I rolled my eyes and headed to the bathroom.
I took a quick shower, ready to put my next plan into action. I stepped out of the shower, took the towel off the hook, and wrapped it around my wet body. I purposely grabbed the smallest towel and forgot my clothes. I opened the door to find Edward sitting on the bed.
He turned to look at me when I opened the door, then turned away when he saw I wasn't dressed.
"Bella, what are you doing?" he asked not looking my way.
"I forgot my clothes," I said innocently.
I just stood there, waiting for him to look at me. When he didn't, I growled mentally.
"You can look, Edward," I said in a annoyed voice.
"I think I'll just go get your lunch," he said heading for the door.
I stood in front of the door, blocking his escape. He turned his head to the right, still not looking at me. He was not going to win.
"Bella, please move," he said.
"No," I said.
"Bella," he growled looking me in the eye, finally.
"I'm not moving until you look at me," I said determinedly.
"I am looking at you, Bella," he growled back.
"You know what I mean, Edward," I said.
"Bella, I told you. Not until you're changed," he said.
"Edward-" I was cut off when he lifted me up by my waist, and I found myself facing his back.
I stared with my mouth open at his retreating form. At first, I felt humiliated and rejected. It sent a sense of déjà vu my way. But then I was angry. I was not going to give up so easily.
I grabbed my clothes and put them on, some white short shorts and a blue tank top. I put everything on, saving the shirt for last. I opened the door and headed into the kitchen, throwing my shirt on as I went. I looked at Edward as I did this. Nothing.
He set a sandwich in front of me and I ate it without either of us talking. He just sat down and watched me eat. I kept my eyes on the sandwich, until I was done. Now what?
It was quiet for a few minutes before I heard him exhale a breath. I kept my eyes on the plate as he began to talk.
"I'm sorry," he said.
I looked up at him quickly to see he had his head down. I was confused.
"What are you sorry for?" I asked, my confusion leaking through my voice.
"I don't mean to be such….a prude. I just care about your safety," he said.
I grimaced. I didn't want to hear that. It made me feel horrible and guilty. I started to second guess my advances on him.
"It's fine. You're forgiven," I said quietly.
He smiled and looked me in the eyes.
"Thanks for understanding," he said.
I understood, I just didn't like it.
"Yeah," I mumbled.
"I'll make it up to you tonight. I'll make you a nice dinner and we can go for a walk on the beach. How does that sound?" he asked.
I smiled weakly at him.
"It sounds fun," I said hiding how I truly felt.
"Great. Wear a nice dress, Mrs. Cullen," he winked and headed into the bedroom.
I stared after him. He was teasing me and he knew it. I felt the guilt go away, which was replaced with anger. Realization dawned on me then. He guilt tripped me so he wouldn't have to face the sex topic again. He knew I would forgive him so easily. The Edward I knew would have noticed I was guilt ridden. He thinks that he made me feel guilty that I would give up so easily? Well, he's got another thing coming to him. Tonight, I'm bringing the guns hot and fully loaded. I would make Edward Cullen give into me. No one, not even Edward himself could stop me.
That night, as Edward stood in the kitchen fixing my dinner, I looked for the best dress to wear. I had on a black lacy set of underwear to wear underneath. The bra was a pushup and made me look like I had really big boobs. I ended up picking a tight blood red dress that hugged my every curve. It stopped at mid thigh and had thick straps. It had a v-neck that cut low, in between my boobs. I curled my hair and pulled it into a loose bun, something I could pull out easily. I must say, I looked pretty hot. Edward was going to drop dead, no pun intended.
I opened the door to the bedroom and leaned against the doorframe, waiting for him to look at me. I crossed my arms over my chest, which pushed my boobs up even more. When he did, his jaw fell, much like it did this morning. He looked me up and down. I felt satisfied. I would have him in no time.
"Wow, you look….wow," was all he could say.
He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I wrapped mine around his neck and pulled my body close to his.
"Thank you, Mr. Cullen. You look pretty nice yourself," I said, my voice low.
He was wearing a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top three buttons undone. His black pants hugged his butt nicely and made my mouth water. I would enjoy taking those off tonight.
"You're welcome, Mrs. Cullen," he said.
He leaned down to kiss me, barely touching his lips with mine. I behaved myself, letting him believe I wasn't going to try anything tonight. I was later on as the night progressed, and he would never expect it.
"Let's get you fed before the food gets cold," he whispered.
"Okay," I said quietly.
He pulled our bodies away from each other, taking my hand in his cold one. He pulled out my chair for me, like a gentleman, and I sat down. He went to the stove, put something on a plate and brought it over to me.
I took a deep breath of the spaghetti and moaned.
"Smells good," I said.
"I hope it's good. I'm not the best cook," he said.
"I'm sure it's wonderful," I said.
I picked up my fork and started eating. It tasted even better than it looked. I ate it greedily, moaning after the first bite. I had the satisfaction of watching Edward squirm in his seat when I moaned. It was starting to get to him.
When I finished eating Edward took my hand, pulling me up and leading to me the door, the dirty dishes forgotten. I went to sit down to take my shoes off, but he beat me to it, taking my feet out of the death traps I put on. I thanked him quietly and he helped me stand up. His shoes were already off and his pants were rolled up. I smiled at him, reaching down to unbutton the fourth button on his shirt before taking his hand.
He led me out to the shore line and we began our walk along the beach, the water hitting our toes. He held my hand the whole time and we talked aimlessly in the moonlight. We walked for thirty minutes before turning around and heading back.
When we got back, we stood at the edge of the sand, letting the waves wash up and over our calves. Edward was holding me from behind, covering my midsection, and my arms were covering his. I laid my head back against his chest and we watched the shooting stars pass by.
It was a romantic night, and it wasn't even over yet. I was enjoying it so much, I almost forgot about my goal for the night. Almost. If Edward gave in tonight, it would make this night even more perfect.
"Let's dance," he said.
I gave him a questioningly look and he smiled at me. He was gone for a second, then was at my side the next. He used his vampire speed. He held in his hand a small stereo. He set it down and clicked the play button.
Soft music flowed through the speakers and he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, mine going to his neck. My hands went into his hair, playing with the little tuffs on his neck. I laid my head on his chest, him laying his cheek on the top of my forehead.
"This is perfect," I said in a small voice after a while, scared to disturb the peaceful moment.
"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," he said back just as quietly.
I lifted my head off his chest and looked into his golden eyes. He looked down at me before reaching down and kissing me. I smiled against his lips and pulled him closer. Before I knew it, my arms were empty. I opened my eyes in shock to see Edward a few feet away from me, a playful smile on his face. I smiled back.
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you better get your butt back over here and finish kissing me!" I said playfully.
He seemed to think about it for a minute before saying, "Nope, I don't think I will. If you want to kiss me, you better come get me, Isabella Marie Cullen," he said, a smirk on his face.
I laughed and started chasing him. He kept his speed at a minimum, until he would wait for me to get a few inches close to him, then use his vampire speed to shoot away ten feet. Finally, after playing this game for a few minutes, he stopped and I crashed into him. He laughed and we both fell down, me above him.
"Edward Cullen, you are the meanest vampire I know," I said, pushing myself off his chest.
He rolled us over, laughing, making me trapped under him.
"You love it," he teased.
We laughed for a few seconds before we sobered up, looking into each others eyes. He looked into my eyes for a minute, both of us silent now. I knew it was time. It was now or never.
I reached up and pulled his face down to mine, our lips meeting. I kissed his lips hungrily, his doing the same. I opened my mouth to gain him access to my tongue, which he accepted. They fought for dominance, his winning in the end.
When I need to breath, he went down to my neck, licking and sucking lightly. When I had caught my breath, I pulled his face back up to mine.
He rolled us back over again, me on top this time. I used this position to pull away from his lips and let my hair down. I shook it out before leaning down again, letting my hair create a curtain around our faces, kissing him again.
He rolled over again, pinning me to the ground. I started kissing down his face to his neck, biting lightly. He growled and I could feel his hands drift from my neck to my breast.
My hands went to his shirt, greedily unbuttoning each button. When they were all undone, I pushed it off his shoulders. He finished taking it off, throwing it somewhere on the beach.
He leaned down letting his cool chest come in contact with my covered one. I felt his hands at the lowest point of my v-neck, then heard a ripping sound. I didn't bother to look down at the now ruined dress.
He pulled the trashed dress out from under me and threw it where he had thrown his shirt. My hands went to the button on his pants, quickly undoing them. I slid the zipper down, and he kicked them off.
I kissed him deeply again, letting all my passion and need fill the kiss. Soon, I was only left in a bra and he was left bare to the world. His boxers had come off some time ago.
He didn't wait for my bra to come off. We both wanted to just go at it already. I could feel him against my leg, hard as stone. He took my hands in his and stretched them above both our heads into the sandy ground as he pushed in. Finally, I was getting what I wanted.
I couldn't help the loud moan that escaped my mouth.
And that was the biggest mistake I ever made.
Neither of us had made sounds throughout the undressing process. I guess the silence is what kept him from coming back down to Earth. But he was back now.
I felt him freeze in me and opened my eyes to see his horror stricken ones. Before I could say anything, I was empty again and he was twenty feet away from me, his boxers back on. He was breathing heavily as I sat up on my elbows to fully look at him. I could feel the tears starting to fall.
We made eye contact and I could see the guilt in his eyes, before it was replaced with anger.
"Dammit Bella! What did I tell you? I told you not until after you've been changed! But no, you just couldn't help yourself could you? You took my weakness and played with it! We're both lucky I pulled out before you were hurt again!" he yelled.
Never, and I mean never, had Edward been this angry at me. I've never seen him this mad. I felt ashamed and let the tears fall as I stood up and went to put my clothes back on. I covered my face as I put my panties and Edward's shirt on since my dress was ruined.
"I try to make this honeymoon nice for the both of us, considering the circumstances. But you just intend on making it hell with your stupid human needs!" he yelled.
I gasped and looked up at his face. Never had Edward called me stupid. This wasn't my Edward. Suddenly I was angry. And I mean very angry.
"If my human needs are so stupid, why did you fucking marry me?" I yelled.
He noticed what he said when I spoke up, and his eyes suddenly got big and wide. But it was too late.
"No, Bella, I-" he stuttered before I cut him off.
"Save it, Edward. Don't worry, I'll do you a favor. As soon as we get home I'll pack my stuff and leave. I always knew I was never good enough for you. You just proved it right there. I should have just listened to Renee and Charlie. They were right. Marriage changes everything. It's changed you. I can't even get you to have sex with me. You don't have to bother changing me, I wouldn't want to burden you with my stupid newborn needs. You won't have to worry about having sex with me then either. Is that why you won't have sex with me? Because I'm not a vampire? I don't have a perfect body, perfect strength, I'm so weak? Don't worry, I won't bother you anymore with my stupid human needs. This marriage was over before it even started," I said, turning my back on him and walking inside.
He was in front of me then, blocking my path. I tried to go around him, but he grabbed me and held me to his chest.
"Let me go you asshole!" I yelled hitting his chest.
He took my wrists in his hands and held them so I couldn't hit him.
"Listen to me, Bella! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to protect you," he said.
"I don't need fucking protecting, Edward! I can take care of myself!"
"Bella, please. It's not that I don't want to have sex with you. I do. I just-"
"That's just it, Edward! I'm your wife! I shouldn't be begging you to have sex with me! It should be an automatic thing! It's something new and exciting, a new chapter. But while I'm going on, you're still stuck on the same page! It's just like it was before we even got married. And I don't want that! I want you to love me fully! But you can't even do that! Now, let me go so I won't bother you with my stupid human needs!"
"Bella! Will you listen to me? I wasn't angry at you. I was angry at myself. I didn't mean to take it out on you. Your humans needs aren't stupid. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered at the end.
My heart started breaking for him, but I stayed strong. I couldn't stay angry at him, but he hurt me. He deserves to suffer for a little.
"I want to be alone tonight," I said, my voice still angry but calmer.
He nodded and released me. He followed silently with his head down to the bedroom. I shut the door in his face and locked it. I went to his suitcase and got him some clothes to wear. I unlocked the door and opened it to find him standing in the same place. I threw the clothes at his chest before closing the door again and relocking it.
I got ready for bed quickly, feeling the sobs threatening to come out. I crawled in the huge bed and pulled the covers around me. There was a moment of silence before the first sob escaped. They came out one after the other after that. It seemed to take forever for them to stop. I hugged a pillow to my chest tightly and waited for them to stop.
When they finally did, I felt my eyes start to droop then. I fell asleep to a quiet sob that came from the other side of the door.
I have fucked up. That was becoming the story of my life lately. Everything I do has done nothing but hurt the one person I love. I didn't mean to call her human needs stupid. It slipped out. But that was all it took for her to hate me. She probably will never look at me again, let alone love me.
I only wanted to protect her. I don't want her to get hurt again.
Our first night as husband and wife was amazing, the best I've ever had. Feeling her warmth surround me was better than I could ever imagine. But there were complications. I left bruises on her perfect skin. She tried to play them off as her bruising easily, but I knew better.
I heard her cry herself to sleep and it made me sob like a girl. But I didn't care. Her heart was breaking because of me, and mine was breaking for her. I was such a monster. She was crying because of me.
My one act of carelessness tonight has caused us both pain. I knew ignoring her advances was going to be difficult until her change, and I believed I could fight her off. But my one moment of weakness almost cost her her life. It felt amazing being surrounded by her warmth again, but I wouldn't risk that for her life. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
A vibration in my pocket made me stop sobbing. I heard silence and a steady heartbeat on the other side of the door and knew Bella had fallen asleep.
I knew who was calling and I knew I had to face her.
"Hello?" I asked quietly.
"Why the hell do I see Bella living in Seattle in a year? As a human?" the pixie asked on the other line.
"Because I've fucked up," I said.
"Yeah, I saw that. Seriously, Edward. You couldn't control your anger for one second?"
"I didn't mean for it to happen Alice. It slipped out. I was just angry at myself for giving in so easily."
"Edward, do you know how selfish you sound right now? Tell me something, why do you think Bella is angry at you?"
"Because I called her human needs stupid."
"Ehhhh! Wrong! It's because you won't have sex with her, Edward. She knows you didn't mean what you said about her needs. Do you know how much rejection she has taken from you? Every time you pull away from her or stop kissing her, it adds on to the little thing in her mind that says it's because she's not perfect enough for you. She's convinced herself she won't be as good at pleasuring you as a human. She believes if she's a vampire, you'll get the pleasure you need to enjoy sex."
"Alice, that's not the reason I'm refusing to have sex with her as human. I'm trying to protect her. I don't want her to get hurt again."
"But that's what she believes, Edward. You know how insecure Bella is. It doesn't help the fact that you're the first guy she's ever been intimate with. She's never had anyone before you, Edward. This is her first time ever doing anything with someone."
"I know that, Alice. It's the first time for me, too. I went into this not knowing what was going to happen. Do you know how much that scares me? That first night I was so scared I was going to hurt her. And I did, as much as she won't admit, I hurt her."
"I know it scares you. But that is something you two experience together for the first time. And you didn't hurt her. She bruises easily, Edward. I saw you wouldn't hurt her. If I did, I would have told you."
"You saw me giving her bruises!" I was angry now.
"Yes. And I didn't say anything because one, I knew it wasn't going to be bad, and two you wouldn't have had sex with her that first night and her honeymoon, something she's been looking forward to since she agreed to marry you, would have been ruined. It's already ruined enough with your prudish acts, why add to it? Am I right?"
I released a breath. "Yes."
"I thought so. You need to learn to loosen up. You weren't going to hurt her tonight. I saw that much. She was going to come out fine. But you changed your mind the last minute. You need to fix this, Edward. You have one more chance or Bella will be gone forever."
"What do you mean, Alice? Is she really going to leave me?"
"I see her leaving if you don't fix this. You have one more chance to change the future. I'm not telling you when, but let her come to you. If you go to her, you'll make it worse. So help me God, Edward, if I have to come all the way down there, I'll cut your balls off myself. Fix it."
And with that, she hung up. I sighed and buried my hands in my hair. She was right. I knew what I had to do.
I woke up with a jolt. I couldn't remember what I was dreaming about, but I knew it wasn't good. I rolled over, expecting my vampire to be there to take me in his arms, but then remembered what happened. I rolled on my back and just laid there.
I knew he didn't mean what he had said, but it still hurt nonetheless. And rejection after rejection was getting to me. I needed to confront the problem. I didn't want to face him yet, at least not until morning, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep until I was in his arms again.
I sat up and glanced at the clock. It was one a.m. I pulled the covers back and quietly jumped out of bed. I was in nothing but one of Edward's button up shirts that went to my middle thigh.
I unlocked the door and quietly opened it. I saw him sitting on the couch with his hands over his face. He looked like he had been running his hands through his hair a million times. He looked like a mess. There was no lights except a lamp beside the couch on, giving the room a warm glow.
I cleared my throat to gain his attention. His head shot up and looked at me. We stared at each other for a few minutes.
"I come in peace," I tried to tease holding up my hands.
He smiled at my attempt, but it was weak and didn't reach his eyes.
"Did you need anything? Water?" he asked.
"No. I….I couldn't sleep," I said.
He stared for a minute, before patting the space next to him on the couch. I took the invitation quickly, sitting in his lap. He froze for a minute and I wondered if I was too forward. But then he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my chest, listening to my heart. I relaxed and laid my forehead on top of his head, wrapping my hands around his neck.
We stayed like that for a minute, just holding each other, not wanting to let go.
"I'm sorry," we mumbled at the same time.
We both laughed at the same time and looked at each other. I traced my fingers lightly over his lips. He breathed out and his cold breath hit my fingertips, much like the first time we visited the meadow almost two years ago.
"Bella, I didn't mean it when I-" I cut him off.
"I know. I forgave you a long time ago."
"You shouldn't have. I don't deserve your forgiveness."
I pulled his chin up to look in my eyes.
"Yes, you do. You beat yourself up too much. I know you were angry at yourself. It's my fault really. I shouldn't have pushed you to have sex with me," I said.
"No, it is not your fault Isabella Cullen. It was me who kept fighting against your advances," he said.
I smiled weakly.
"How about we agree it's no ones fault?"
He laughed and nodded. It was quiet again but I broke it.
"I shouldn't have pushed you. I just….I just don't want to go back to the previous relationship we had before we got married. Don't get me wrong, it was beautiful and blissful. It's just-" he cut me off.
"It's just that now that you've experienced a whole other side to our relationship, you found you like that a little more," he finished.
"I thought you couldn't read my mind," I said, glad that he understood.
"I can't. It's how I feel also. Bella, it's not that I didn't want to have sex with you. I did. I still do. I just don't want to hurt you. Your life is worth more to me than anything else. If I were to risk it, just so I could get the pleasure I want, I would hate myself forever. I would be a monster if I killed you just to enjoy the feeling that comes along with sex," he said.
"You got pleasure from our wedding night?" I asked, blushing a little. We never really did talk about our wedding night.
He smiled at me.
"Of course I did, silly girl. It was my favorite night out of my hundred years. Bella, even tonight when I was inside you for a few seconds was enough to pleasure me," he said unashamedly.
I blushed and felt him trace my cheek.
"It was my best night, too," I mumbled.
He smiled, which made me smile back, then frown.
"Tell me what you're thinking," he said softly.
"You won't hurt me. Edward, that was our first try. Honestly, it was even better than I was expecting. Just because I got bruises last time, doesn't mean I'll get them a second or third time. Or even the hundredth time. We'll know what to expect the next time. We went into this not knowing anything. That's what couples do. They experience these uncharted territories together. Edward, when you pushed in me tonight, you held both my hands in yours. And look," I held up both my hands, "neither of them broken or bruised. If I remember correctly, the first night when you pushed in, you had to hold onto the headboard and it broke under your hands. But tonight, you held my hands and not once did I feel any pain," I said blushing.
He just stared at me, his mouth open. I hope he's finally realized what I was trying to tell him.
"Bella Cullen, you continue to amaze me every day," he said.
"I'm serious, Edward," I said.
"I know. I am, too. Bella, I love you with all of my heart. That's why I married you. You're everything I could ever want in a woman and so much more. And giving yourself to me will be something I cherish forever. It's just that I'm scared I'll hurt you again. I can't trust myself."
"Edward," I said grabbing his face, "I trust you. All we need is each other's love and trust. Please, let's try this again. I promise, if you hurt me in the slightest, I'll let you know," I said, hoping he would agree.
He looked into my eyes for a minute, searching for something. I guess he found it, because he nodded. I smiled and stood up reaching my hand out for him. He took it cautiously and let me lead him to the bedroom. I closed the door behind us and stood with him in the middle of the room.
He looked so vulnerable and lost. I knew I had to step up and lead him through this. I had to show him he could trust himself.
Slowly, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me, breathing in my scent. I unhooked my arms from around his neck and slid down to the hem of his shirt. I tugged it gently and he let go of my waist to let me lift it over his head. When his head was through he looked at me with so much love in his eyes, I couldn't help but kiss him.
He led us to the bed until I felt the back of my thighs hit it. We fell back and slid to the middle of the bed. He hovered over me, kissing every inch of skin from my neck to my lips.
His hands went to the shirt I had on and unbuttoned it slowly. I sat up and he let it slide off my shoulders, kissing down from my neck to my shoulder. I brought his face back up to me and kissed him again.
I began working on his jeans, unbuttoning them and sliding them down with his help. We were left in nothing but his boxers and my underwear.
A few minutes passed until we were both completely naked to each other. He paused the kissing and pulled back to look in my eyes.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
I smiled at him and nodded. I took his hands in mine and stretched them above us. He made a move to move them to the headboard, but I kept my tight grip on them. He gave my a doubtful look.
"Trust yourself," I said.
He nodded and let his head fall between my shoulder and neck. Slowly, I felt him slide in. We both moaned.
Slowly, he made love to me and the whole time he held my hands. Our breaths got mixed together and with each thrust, I told him I loved him. Finally, when we climaxed, we screamed each other's names.
As we came back down to Earth, we looked at each other. I smiled at him and tried not to say I told you so.
"How are you feeling? Are you hurt?" he asked.
"No, I'm perfectly fine. Actually, I'm better than fine," I said.
He blew out a breath of relief.
"I shouldn't say this, but, I told you so," I said.
He laughed and kissed my nose.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you, too," I said.
"I shouldn't have doubted you," he said.
"Does that mean we get to do this again?" I asked, letting my hope leak through my voice.
"No, this means we get to do this forever plus one," he said.
I rolled my eyes at him.
We laughed and just held each other. When we sobered up, I broke the silence.
"Ready for round two?"
"More than ready, Mrs. Cullen," he said against my lips.
"You better be ready, Mr. Cullen," I mumbled back.