Theme #16 Birthday
Everyone has a birthday, including the Akatsuki. Their ten birthdays were separated all over the year, the earliest being February 20th and the latest being December 24th. The problem is they never celebrate them. Itachi was thinking about this one day as well.
"Kisame? Why don't we celebrate everyone's birthdays here in the Akatsuki? Mine was yesterday on June 9th, but I didn't get a single 'Happy Birthday' from anyone," Itachi drawled out. Kisame stared over at his partner before picking up the unsuspecting weasel and placing him in his lap.
"Happy belated Birthday, Itachi-koi," Kisame whispered into his ear. Itachi leaned his head back on the taller man's chest.
"I just wish we could celebrate them like a big happy family," Itachi whispered to himself before a marvelous idea sprung in his head. "Kisame, when's your birthday?"
"March 3rd, why do you ask?" Kisame answered but he already found that the weasel was gone. Itachi had gone around the whole base asking everyone for their birthday. He calculated what the average day of all their birthdays it should be held on and came up with June 12th.
Itachi: June 9th
Kisame: March 3rd
Kakuzu: August 15th
Hidan: April 2nd
Pein: September 19th
Konan: February 20th
Tobi: December 24th
Zetsu: March 18th
Deidara: May 5th
Sasori: November 8th
"Leader-sama, can everyone have the day off on June 12th for a birthday party?" Itachi asked as he entered the leader's office.
"It better not be your birthday, weasel," Pein said venomously. Everyone but Konan had always forgotten his birthday. Itachi shook his head.
"It's for everyone's birthday, Pein-sama! We have two days to get presents for each other and plus my birthday was yesterday," Itachi answered strangely giddy. Pein eyed him suspiciously but nodded his consent. Itachi practically skipped out of the room.
Itachi stopped at his room, grabbed Kisame and dragged him out the door. Hidan and Deidara stared after the overly-excited weasel. They shrugged to each other as Pein walked into the room and posted something on the Akatsuki's bulletin board. The two troublemakers exchanged a glance and sprang up to read what was posted.
"A birthday party for everyone? I'm guessing this is what Itachi is so excited about, un," Deidara said.
"Well, I can't fucking wait to get gifts from all the shit heads in this organization," Hidan proclaimed.
"You know, it says if you want a gift from someone, you have to give them one as well, un. I think that is so Pein will get something, yeah," Deidara answered. Hidan grunted, and went to his room.
"Kuzu?" he whined to the older man. Said man looked over at him with a "What the hell do you want idiot," look. "Can we go and get presents for the other members? I won't get any if I don't get anyone something."
"What is this for? You know I don't like wasting money," Kakuzu asked as he looked up from his checkbook.
"Itachi and Pein are throwing a birthday party for everyone in two days and to get presents you have to give presents," Hidan said. Kakuzu had a money jar that for every swear word he said, he had to give a dollar.
"Fine, but the presents will be cheap," Kakuzu said. "What do you plan on giving everyone?" Hidan smirked evilly.
"Oh, I have something in mind," Hidan laughed evilly. You don't want to know what was going through his head at that moment. However, these two weren't the only ones fighting.
Sitting in Pein's office, Konan and the leader were arguing over the birthday party. Pein sat idly at his desk with a happy look on his face, well as happy as Pein can look.
"Pein, you know this is all going to come back to haunt you eventually," Konan yelled at her partner. He looked over and smirked.
"What if I told you that you get to open your presents first?" Pein asked getting up and pulling the blue haired woman into a hug. She started to jump up and down in his arms, successfully losing the meaning of said hug.
"Thank you Pein!" she shouted before running out of the room to get her shopping done. Pein reluctantly followed the happy kunoichi.
Soon the day arrived for the party and everyone was assembled in the Akatsuki's main base living room. Pein sat in an arm chair and Konan sat in his lap. Hidan and Kakuzu took one side of the couch and Kisame took the other where an unusually happy weasel sat in his lap. Deidara was sprawled out on the ground and Sasori sat in the last remaining chair. Zetsu was leaning against the wall nearby, but where was Tobi?
Suddenly the happy-go-lucky man burst into the room yelling, "Tobi is a good boy! Tobi got everyone lollipops for there birthday!"
"Ok, now that everyone is here, we'll go in order by birth date to open presents which means Konan will be first," Pein announced. Konan squealed and got up to sit on the floor. Everyone handed colorful wrapped gifts, though some were poorly wrapped. She got blue eye shadow from Itachi who said it was to compliment her orange eyes. She received a package of paper from Kakuzu where she mumbled cheapskate. She got an empty book from Sasori.
"You can use it however you want," he replied. Deidara gave her a bomb that she can use to explode anyone or anything. Zetsu gave her a bouquet of roses from his garden. Hidan gave her a necklace making kit that overemphasized the Jashin symbol. Kisame gave her a coupon to a parlor to get either a free tattoo or piercing. Pein gave her a heart shaped gold locket, such a sap.
Kisame came next. He got sword polish from Sasori, a bomb like Konan's from Deidara, he gave that to everyone, and a Jashin charm from Hidan. Kakuzu gave him more wrappings for Samahada, Zetsu gave him a flower that contained more chakra than normal, Pein gave him a week off, Konan gave him a new training shirt since he'd ripped the last one, and Itachi gave him a kiss and a new fish tank with a piranha in it.
Zetsu came next who got mostly gardening supplies from everyone but a week off from Pein and three humans from Hidan who said they were in the basement. Hidan got a week off from Pein, scythe cleaner from Sasori, some random Jashin crap from everyone, and a scolding from Konan, even though it wasn't part of the gift. However Kakuzu got him more of his expensive hair gel surprisingly enough.
Deidara got a week off from Pein, so Pein gave everyone that except Konan. He got a Sasori plush toy from Itachi, more clay from Zetsu, Kisame and Kakuzu, and Hidan gave him something that nobody knows what it was, but they were both looking pretty evil when it was given. Konan gave him a new eye scope and Sasori gave him a picture of him blowing up his own puppets.
Itachi got nail polish from nearly everyone, but Pein, Deidara, Konan and Kisame. Pein and Deidara gave the usual. Konan gave him a picture of Sasuke beating up Orochimaru. Nobody knows how she got that, not even Pein. Kisame gave him a weasel plush toy with a heartfelt letter along with a surprise present that was going to be given at the end.
Kakuzu got money from everyone, except Pein who stuck with the usual week off. Pein got a coupon for a free piercing from Kisame, a picture from Konan, a bomb from Deidara, thirty yen from Kakuzu, red nail polish from Itachi who shrugged in return, a voodoo doll of Konan from Sasori (which made him get beat up by said woman), flowers from Zetsu to put on his desk and a mug from Hidan that said "I AM GOD" on it.
Sasori got the week off, parts for his puppets, a flamethrower from Konan who was grinning evilly and a tiger lily from Zetsu. No one knows why. Finally it was Tobi's turn to receive presents where he was noticeably jumping with excitement. He got the normal week off, a pass for an all you can eat and grab candy store from Kisame (A/N: Where is he getting all of these coupons?), candy flowers from Zetsu, new gloves from Deidara, a toy from Sasori, a new mask that looked exactly like his old one from Itachi, and a Jashin necklace from Hidan. Kakuzu gave him a bag of candy and Konan gave him a scary-looking sword and all the while she had an evil glint in her eyes.
Now, finally it was time for the second part of Itachi's present. The doorbell rang and Kisame motioned for Itachi to open in. The weasel hesitantly walked to the door wondering two things, One: why did they have a door? And Two: who was it? He opened the door and found Sasuke on the other side.
"Nii-san? Is that you?" Sasuke asked. Itachi nodded wondering why his raven-haired brother wasn't attacking him. Sasuke rushed in and hugged the poor unsuspecting weasel. "I'm so sorry nii-san! I didn't know! I'm sorry!" He kept repeating it over again before Itachi hugged back.
"Don't worry, it's ok Sasuke," Itachi shushed him. They walked back in and Itachi proceeded to give Kisame a hug.
"Kisame told me everything," Sasuke answered. He heard Itachi mutter, "Best Boyfriend Ever," during his embrace. "Are those two dating?" Pein nodded which made Sasuke look slightly grossed out.
"Get used to it, everyone but Zetsu and Tobi are in a relationship with there partners. Pein and I are the only straight ones here," Konan explained still in Pein's lap. Sasuke nodded and took a seat on the floor. "Nice of you to kill the snake pedophile for us too. That was a big help."
"So you killed Orochimaru? How would you like to become a member?" Pein asked from the arm chair.
"Can I reek havoc on Konoha?" Sasuke asked. Pein nodded. "Alright then, but I want my own bedroom." He laid back on the floor.
"I wouldn't have thought about placing you with anyone else. All the couples share rooms, Zetsu I don't trust with a roommate considering he's a cannibal, and Tobi would keep you up all night with his talking," Pein answered.
The rest of the party went on smoothly. Cake was handed out, some games were played, Itachi and Sasuke got caught up on their lives, and no one killed each other. Hidan ended up paying thirty yen into the swear jar but earned ten back for Kakuzu swearing. Sasori and Deidara got into a fight about art but it ended in them making out and leaving the party early. I'm not going to explain what they were doing.
Although, Sasuke was probably scarred for life after this party. He saw a drunk Hidan streaking, a drunk Kakuzu without his mask or cloak singing, and Kisame talk to the piranha like it could talk back.
"You'll get used to it," Itachi said behind him. "Next year, we'll celebrate your birthday too."
"I don't think I can get used to this and I don't think I'll live till next year," Sasuke said hiding under the snack table. Poor Sasuke!
This one is written for my friend Carla. She was born on June 12 which was they day they threw the party so I hope she likes it.