The Dating Experience

By: ZekuRoku

Author Note: I love Romano and America together... So A plot bunny began to breed in my fangirl mind. Would Spain approve of America? Though they may seem on good terms with one another, but what happens when you throw in the fact he is having his baby Lovino taken away? Not to mention his dual personality thing... O.o

When America began to court Southern Italy, it threw many nations in for a loop. Who would have thought America would be into someone so hot headed and temperamental that wasn't England? Then again, why would Romano tolerate a loud mouthed, energetic optimist with a terrible taste of fashion and food? Slowly the other countries began to accept their relationship, and acted as if it was natural, though Spain... He wasn't so willing to cooperate.

"That American bastard. Wait until I get my hands around his neck..."

"Whoa, Toni, You okay? You're doing that creepy mumbling under your breath thing, again. It's terrifying..."

"No, Gilbert... You do not understand. That obese, selfish, arrogant, prick- stole my Lovi and for that he will pay dearly."

"Okay, put the ax down..."

"All we need is love! Listen to Gilbert and put the weapon now, my friend."

Unfortunately, not even France could calm the Spaniard down. It was quite obvious the man had always been emotionally fond of Lovino, despite his dedicated adoration for North Italy. He raised Romano, and despite his attitude problem, he was really such a sweet, sweet boy. The half nation was way too innocent to be corrupted by such a filthy, power hungry, egotistical country. Just thinking about how he lost his Romano to America pissed him off so hardcore, the ax in his hands then snapped in half from his tense hold.

France and Prussia slowly backed away, knowing full well the other member of their trio had quite the history of being slaughter happy. Though, quite the opposite happened, Spain had tossed the pieces of the weapon aside and fell in a dramatic manner to the floor and began to sob. "Why Lovi? WHY! Why did you leave me? I raised you! Was I not good enough? I can give you everything you need... Come back!"

France quickly went over to comfort Spain, taking the sobbing nation into his arms.

Gilbert awkwardly patted his back. "Hey, it's not that bad Toni. America can be a cool dude if you hang with him enough," Despite being flashed a warning look from Francis he continued to ramble on, "Think, even if he deflowers your Italian beauty, at least he will not have to worry about child support being an issue. Seeing as he is filthy rich and a world power and all..."

The murderous gleam was back in Spain's eyes. France attempted to neutralize the situation, failing in the process.

While the Bad Touch Trio was facing their own issues, the subjects of their current fiasco were enjoying themselves on a lovely afternoon date in Italy.

"I think Spain has been ignoring me..." The grumpy Italian scowled, shoving a spoon full of ice cream into his lover's face, aggressively, completely missing the American's mouth. "Attractive." He dead panned.

"Hey! You are the one who missed..." A small smirk began to form on the Blonde, "If you think I'm so attractive, why don'cha lick it off for me..."A huge blush adorned the auburn man's cheeks as he quickly looked away. America chuckled and used a napkins to rid his face of the sugary substance. "You are so cute!"

"S-Shut up, hamburger bastard!"

Holding a spoon in front of his Italian lover, America winked, "So... Why do you feel Spain is ignoring you? He adores you. Why would he avoid you?"

Romano rolled his eyes, taking a bite of the ice cream held in front of his face, "He has not messaged me in almost 2 months. Usually, he calls me 2 times a day all like 'Loviiii I miss you!' Or 'Lovi! I needed to hear your adorable angry voice!' Feh- bastard..."

"That is odd."

"And it's not even just that he's been acting weird for the past 6 or so months. Being all odd, creepy, and murderous as of late. I went and visited him 3 months ago and he was mumbling about pools of blood, and something about no regret."

Blue eyes widened in concern, "Whoa, that's pretty intense. Even my heroic radar senses trouble brewing! Maybe you should speak with him. You know a half year and it seems he's still angry about whatever is bothering him. Especially, if he's ignoring you."

This was what Romano adored in the American, the way he could be a total moron and look like a slob to everyone else, but when they were together he spoke smoothly (logically), and was incredibly handsome without even trying to be. "Yeah. Maybe I should talk to him. It's just... Awkward, sometimes. That asshole is always hanging around that potato bastard's brother and that perverted France."

"Ya know..." Alfred drawled out, "We started dating about half a year ago... You'd think he has an issue with me or something stupid like that." Of course he was joking, but Romano, who was taking a sip of his drink, immediately spit it out all over the America. "Hey, not cool dude!"

"It all makes sense!" Romano soon began to cackle evilly.

"Wait- what?" Giving an unsure look, "Lovi, are... you okay?"

"I feel Fan-Fucking-Tastic, Alfred!" He stood up and quickly pecked the American on the lips, a huge smirk plastering his face "We can resolve tomato bastards bullshit."

"O-Okay..." He had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

America could just die. This has to be ranked with one of the most awkward situations he's ever been forced into. He and Romano were placed on the couch, opposite of the Spaniard who just stared at them with an obviously sweet and fake smile upon his face, his fists were clenched resting upon his lap. Oh God! This silence was killing Alfred... What is a good conversation starter, he wondered. Before he could stop himself he blurted out the words:

"...Nice weather you're having."

Romano had to hold back the urge to smack the American across the face. "I'm going to go make some coffee..." He grumbled, getting up and hissing in the blonde's ear, "Be civil..."

"Hey, Roma-!" The Italian had already fled to the kitchen, leaving his lover to panic under an incredibly awkward atmosphere and a scary, possessive stare.

Of course Spain was still smiling ear to ear, staring, "Sooooo~" He finally drawled out with a sing song tone that sent chills down the other's spine. "You watching your back lately? I mean you never can be too careful these days."


"Oh, how silly of me. You have nothing to fret over. I mean, someone as powerful as you wouldn't have to worry about someone sneaking into your luxurious home and slitting your throat at the dead of night though, right? It's not like anyone hates you or anything."


"You are not really causing the rest of the world trouble, being a selfish, arrogant, super power and all."


"Especially, the fact you are dating South Italy. No one in the world is bothered by that. It's not like you had to ask permission to do such a thing either."

America was absolutely speechless. It then clicked, the realization of Spain's sudden dislike for him was now clear as day. Wow, he really was dense sometimes. "You totally don't want me dating Romano..." In a blink of an eye, an ax had been buried into the coffee table in front of the two, the sharp edge of the blade was an inch away from the American's crotch. "HOLY SHIT!"

Romano choose the wrong time to return with a few coffee cups in his hands, obviously they are now lacking a table. "I told you to be civil!" Sending a chilling glare to his lover.

"Oh no, no, no! He started it, man! He's freaking psycho and thinks I'm like forcing you against your will or something!"

"You're suppose to suck it up and just take the insults thrown your way like a man! You call yourself a hero..."

"He just threw a freaking ax at my crotch!"

"Did it "freaking" hit you? I do not see what the problem is then." Spain shouted in his defense.

"You are being ridiculous! Actually the both you retards are!" Romano screeched sending a glare toward the Spaniard as well.

"Romano, how could be angry at me? He's the one that started this!" Spain argued.

"Bullshit!" America immaturely cussed back.

The Italian was fed up with all of it, "STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!" The room went silent, "You two are going to solve your differences right here. Spain, you talk with America, fix your problems, stop ignoring me and being creepy. You," Sending a glare to the blonde, "Need to cooperate."

It was quiet and America glared over at Spain, who was returning the favor. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as if contemplating on something. "Look... I know we got along before all this, and to be honest, man, you really freak me out when you go all crazy psycho on my ass. I will admit it was... rude of me to assume everyone would be okay with me dating Lovino." He swallowed the non-existent lump in his throat. "Everyone else has been assuming it's a joke, but I can guarantee you it is not. I love this man and everything about him," Dramatically he pointed over to Romano.

Spain just gawked, while Romano blushed a shade of bright red, that's all the encouragement America needed to continue. "We should be cooperating. You and I are acting pretty immature over this whole fiasco, let's call a truce on this?" He help out a hand, a nervous smile on his face.

Staring at the American, Antonio's expression softened, "What if I were to continue to disprove of you dating Lovino?"

"I'm sorry, but even without your approval, I will continue to date South Italy."

The intensity flowing off the Alfred's words was none-the-less, epic. Slowly, a smile crept onto the Spaniard's face as he took the others hand, "It's nice to know my boy is in good hands and your feelings are sincere." They grinned at one another not breaking the handshake quite yet.

"Finally! God dammit, okay, break it up! I am tired of all this mushy shit!" Romano pushed the two apart. "And we'll be leaving now! You can hang out with your eavesdropping loser friends now," he kicked the couch over to reveal the other two members of the Bad Touch Trio crouching down and looking rather ridiculous.

"Dammit! I told you they'd find out, Franny Pants!"

"You, Gilbert, were not being all the sneaky. Your loud whispering and gruff voice obviously gave us away."

"Ugh, bunch of bastards..."

"What wrong South Italy? You having a problem comprehending my awesome existence?" The Prussian snaked around Alfred's shoulder. "America! You are a man of almost as equal awesome as I! Way to proclaim your love in such a romantically awesome manner!"

Romano rolled his eyes before grabbing his goofy moronic lover by the sleeve, "We are leaving..." Grumbling in annoyance, pushing the oaf out the door, he turned back toward Spain, a huge grin on his face, "Thanks... For everything..."

As soon as the door was closed, Antonio broke down into a fit of tears on France's shoulder, sobbing about how his little boy had grown up so fast and how America was perfect for him and he never should have had any doubt to begin with.

"Ah, the approval of the father figure... Always apart of the dating experience."

Gilbert went silent, while the blonde flashed his a questioning look. "So...Would now be a bad time to say I am dating Matthew and have for a few months?"

France's glare was so intense the Gilbert began to cower away. "WHAT?"

All hell broke loose once more.

Author Note: I thought of making another chapter... Featuring Prussia and Canada. Feedback would be lovely! :D