Saturday arrived; Berwald had told Tino the day before that he would go out drinking with Mathias. And to no surprise he had been positive about the meeting. He was glad that his boyfriend could hang out with Mathias, since he sometimes thought that Berwald didn't socialize enough with people.
Berwald was in the middle of picking out clothes, he had no idea what to wear. He didn't want to make the expression that he had been looking forward to this. But also he didn't want Mathias to think that he didn't care at all. Formal… or more casual? Well, they were going to a bar so something in between should be good. He picked out a white shirt, a black tie and black pants. He knew that Mathias liked Berwald in white shirts, not that it mattered. He just wanted to avoid any rude remarks on how he was dressed. Really, nothing more.
He finally got ready, Tino was downstairs making something extra special for him and Sealand since Berwald would be out "I'm going now…" Berwald mumbled. Tino headed out to him in the hall and reached up to give him a sweet kiss "Have fun now, don't drink too much" he warned him. Berwald nodded and kissed Tino once more before he left.
He walked over to Berwald and Mathis favorite bar. They had the best drinks and atmosphere where both of them could enjoy themselves. Berwald ordered two beers and then got seated in one of the booths while waiting for the dane, who as usual was late. He took a zip of his beer.
After about half an hour Mathias stormed in into the bar "Bartender! Give me the usual!" he said loud with a wide grin on his face. Berwald waved to him "Mathias…" even thought he didn't shout Mathias was able to spot him and in an instant he had hurried over to the Swedish man. He took of his coat and revealed his dress code of the day. Berwald was relieved that they had gone for kind of the same theme, except that Mathias shirt was red, not white. But honestly Berwald thought that Mathias looked much better in red.
"Sorry I'm late" Mathias explained. He didn't tell him the reason thought. It would be kinda embarrassing and obvious to tell Berwald that Mathias spend all this time deciding what kind of clothes he should wear "I hope I didn't keep you waiting all to long" he smiled warm towards Berwald.
Berwald just shook his head "No worries, I kind of knew you would be late, I bought you one bear" he nodded towards it. The dane gladly accepted and took a good swing of it "Mhm, perfect! Just what I needed"
Berwald looked around, there wasn't that many there yet. That was good. He couldn't handle crowded bars unless he was affected by the alcohol. He drank of his own beer, it tasted great. Mathias also seemed pleased and Berwald had to admit that he was happy that he went.
They drank beer after beer, hours went by and they talked about life, about the past and present. Not so much about them and when they had been together, even if Mathias wanted to but didn't dare to in case Berwald would get angry.
It was finally and to Denmarks surprise Sweden who brought up the sensitive stuff "Mathias… be honest, why… why did you kiss me?" he slurred. He wanted to know. But at the same time he didn't dare to.
Mathias first blinked surprised. Had Berwald really asked him that? Was he still angry "Why...? Because I love you, I love you of course" he stated and moved closer to him. It didn't seem like Berwald was angry with him. So he gained some courage from that "Isn't it obvious that I do?"
Berwald looked away "Mathias, it… it was so many years ago" he couldn't believe that he still felt that way "I was horrible towards you back then. I'm cruel now, how can you still say that?" he just sighed and emptied another beer. He needed it now. This wasn't good. If only Mathias had said that he did it to piss Berwald of, now he had to do everything in his power not to let his well hidden feelings to bubble up.
Mathias caressed the glass of beer "Because…. It has to be you. Believe me, I… I have tried to forget you. But you are the only one I need" he mumbled and drank some more "I won't… do it again!" he reassured "I didn't mean to kiss you but…" Mathias fumbled with words and his hands. This felt so lame. Why did Berwald have to bring that up? Mathias just wanted to have fun… As friends. Now it kind of was ruined.
Berwald took a hold of his hand "Idiot… don't give me that face… I'll get a headache" he muttered and looked at him with tired eyes "I have a wife and a child…" he stated.
At this, Mathias got furious, he pulled his hand away "I know! Shut up, I don't want to hear anymore!" he drank up his last beer and stood up on wobbly legs "You… I don't want to hear anything more from you… You don't understand anything!"
Berwalds eyes widened in shock. What had made him lose his temper? "Mathias, calm down!" he got a hold of Mathias arm. But Mathias wasn't going to have any of that "I already told you I was sorry you asshole! What do you want from me!" there's was no one stopping Mathias when he got this drunk and angry. Berwald hadn't realized that he was in this state.
Panic started to reach the Swedish man. How was he supposed to calm him down? It had been so long since he last saw this side of him. Not since the union. In this pressed situation he needed to figure something out, before the bartender called the cops. He finally realized what always had worked. It really was a bad idea, considered what they recently had talked about. Berwald was sure he would feel like a hypocrite.
But there wasn't any more time now "Mathias…" he gently said and caressed his cheek while he leaned forward and kissed him gently "Look only at me…" he whispered. Oh, such memories that flooded thru Berwald right now. It was nostalgic, how Mathias looked at him now. Shocked, but also proud, like he was eyeing a precious treasure.
Mathias placed his hand over Berwalds "Berwald…" he whispered back and placed his forhead so it was touching Berwald "I…" he was interrupted as Berwald kissed him again "We'll talk on the way to your place…" he took both jackets and dragged the dane outside. It was too dangerous, kissing in the open like that.
Mathias hanged onto Berwald as they walked along the street "You kissed me… twice… twice" he stated with a happy smile. Berwald just sighed "It was the only way to calm you down" he stated "And I was going to tell you before… you had your outburst, that I still like you" it was hard to admit. But he felt like he owed Mathias as much "But… I just can't leave them like that. That's why I'm cold towards you"
Mathias listened. He was surprised that Berwald was so talk active. It had to be because he was trying to explain it so well. Then he realized that Berwald had told him that he still loved him "… But you left" he whispered.
Berwald sighed "Let's discuss this later you drunkard…" he didn't want to talk about that of all things right now. It was unnecessary, he was sure that Mathias would turn all mad again.
Mathias just focused on walking straight. Maybe all this hadn't been such a bad idea. He still was confused but Berwald had told him that he didn't hate him. And now they was walking towards his own home as friends "Okey…" he agreed as they turned left onto the street Mathias was living on.