Title: A Big Gay Line
Warning: Puck drops a few mental F bombs.
Disclaimer: Glee is not mine.
Summary: Puck crosses a line and learns that Kurt is not a girl, Mr Hummel is one scary dude and when apologising you should quit while you're ahead.
A/N: Set during Kurt's stint on the football. This is the 1st in a series of three oneshots - A Big Gay Line (1), Crossing The Big Gay Line (2) and A Thousand Miles Past The Line (3) - If you'd like to read the others check them out via my profile.
Reviews would be lovely :)
Puck was sure that he saw a glimpse of something on the front of Kurt's hip as he pulled on his skinny jeans. Not that he was looking.
"I wasn't looking. I'm not even looking in your direction" Kurt snapped still facing his locker with his head practically shoved inside, probably in an attempt to avoid any comments about him sneaking a peek. Not that there were many people there to check out, the rest of the guys had left before Puck had even entered the locker room. Well except for Finn who was still in the shower if his muffled singing was any indication.
"Whatever dude. What's that?"
Kurt sighed "What's what Puck?"
"Is that a tattoo?" he asked. "There's no way you've got a tattoo."
"If you say so" Kurt replied body tense, hurrying to get the rest of his clothes on.
"What?" Kurt spun around to face Puck who quickly closed the distance between them. "You have got to be kidding me."
"Come on don't be a baby." Puck put his hands at the top of Kurt's jeans and gave a sharp tug. Damn those jeans were tight. He gave another tug and was glad that Kurt hadn't buttoned them yet because undoing another dude's jeans was crossing a line. A big gay line. This was definitely crossing some kind of line but it wasn't as gay and what could he say he was curious.
"Puck? Puck! What the hell are you doing? Get your hands off me you Neanderthal!" Kurt was getting redder and redder with each tug but Puck didn't stop until the jeans were below Kurt's hips. He tucked a finger into the top of Kurt's boxer briefs and pulled them down an inch.
"Dude, seriously a rose?"
Kurt moaned slightly as Puck trailed a finger along his hip to see more of the tattoo, their eyes met, Kurt's in horror and Puck's in amusement.
"What the hell?" Finn paused in the entrance of the shower room looking completely freaked out.
"Dude, Hummel has a tattoo!"
"Oh Okay. So err why do you have your hand near his junk?"
Puck quickly pulled his hand away not sure why his fingers had lingered on the smooth skin of Kurt's hip for as long as they had. Kurt pushed him away and yank his jeans back up, buttoning them as fast as he could then he threw his kit into his locker and grabbed his bag.
Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it, Puck turned to face him again. "But seriously dude a rose?" he repeated. "Could you be anymore gay?"
Kurt rolled his eyes and started to walk to the door but Puck blocked his exit, pushing him back towards the lockers. "Fine. If I tell you will you let me go?"
Kurt muttered his reason for having that particular tattoo but all Puck heard was "My mother's name." So not only was Kurt as gay as Elton he was a mommy's boy. Sweet! He had the perfect ammo for that.
"That's taking being a mama's boy to new levels Hummel. God you're so gay!" Puck smirked relishing Kurt's glare. "You know what? I fucked her. I cleaned your pool and I fucked your mom in your bed." Hummel wore expensive looking shit, he probably had a pool.
Kurt continued to glare at him but as soon as Puck mentioned his mom his eyes filled with tears. Puck ignored the slight twinge in his chest as they stared at each other, it wasn't like he cared or anything.
Kurt's icy cool facade suddenly dropped into place, his expression became instantaneously composed and mocking. If not for the slight redness around his eyes Puck would have thought that he had imagined the tears. "I seriously doubt that."
"Oh why's that?" Puck sneered.
"I don't have a pool" Kurt barged passed him and out of the locker room. He had all that money and he didn't even have a pool? That sucked.
Puck spun around forgetting that Finn had been standing there the whole time "What?"
"His mom's dead." Fuck! Puck glanced towards the door that Kurt had just walked through.
"She died when he was a little kid." Double fuck!
Feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet he moved towards his locker to finished changing "Shit."
Puck sat in his truck outside Kurt's house for half an hour before getting out. He walked up the garden path three times, each time changing his mind and turning back. Then he stood on the doorstep for ten minutes mustering up the courage to knock while muttering the apology speech he had rehearsed. As he raised his hand to knock the door was flung open and Kurt stood there glaring at him.
"I can't take it anymore. What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Puck winced "You saw me?"
"I've been watching you on the security cameras for the last twenty five minutes" Kurt replied crossing his arms.
"You have security cameras?" This wasn't a bad neighbourhood, why did they have cameras?
He glared again "Yes my dad had them installed after someone nailed our lawn furniture to the roof."
"Oh" Puck shifted uncomfortably. "Look I'm sorry for that and today you know for being such a..."
"Moronic, violent Neanderthal? Kurt finished for him.
"Well I was going to go with asshat but yeah that too."
"Kurt?" A man called from inside the house "Is everything okay?"
The dude, presumably Kurt's dad, suddenly appeared at the door with a beer in one hand and a remote control in the other. Not that he had given it much thought but Mr Hummel was nothing like what Puck would have imagined him to be like. He seemed like a real dudes-dude for a start, he worn flannel and the assessing look he gave Puck kind of made him look like an angry grizzly.
"Yes dad everything's fine" Kurt said nervously.
"Who are you?" he glowered at Puck. "Are you harassing my son in his own home?"
"N-No Sir" Puck stuttered. Damn that dude was terrifying.
"Relax dad. This is Puck, he's a fr..." Kurt paused obviously not able to bring himself to call Puck a friend "Err he's on the football team." If possible Mr Hummel's glare intensified. "And in Glee club!" Kurt added quickly which seemed to pacify his dad slightly.
"Okay. Well if you're sure you're okay I'll be watching Deadliest Catch." With one last mess with my son and I'll kill you look he left.
"Shit" Puck exclaimed. "If that's how your dad reacts to straight guys, how does he act when your dates pick you up?"
Kurt crossed his arms again and scowled "I wouldn't know I haven't exactly got potential dates lining up around the corner and if I did why do you assume they would pick me up? I'm not a girl."
He had a point there, when Puck had pulled his jeans down Kurt had definitely looked all male. Okay that sounded wrong even in his own head.
Kurt sighed "Are we done now?"
"I'm sorry about your mom" Puck blurted, his speech completely forgotten.
"What?" Kurt whispered looking shocked.
"Finn told me." Kurt nodded slowly. "I didn't know" Puck added.
"I feel like shit coz I kinda know how you feel." Kurt raised an eyebrow but stayed silent. "Yeah my dad left us. You're lucky she's dead." Kurt's horrified expression made him realise he had put his foot in it. "No No!" he shouted. "I mean coz it means she still loved you, she didn't wanna leave but didn't have a choice. My dad just didn't love us enough."
Puck thought for a moment "Unless she topped herself." His eyes widened when he realised he had said that bit out loud. "Oh my God why can't I just stop talking!"
Kurt let out a small laugh at Puck's distress. "It's fine. It wasn't suicide."
Oh thank God Puck thought but he only nodded in reply. "It's a very umm pretty tattoo."
Kurt suddenly stepped closer pulling the door slightly closed "Shh! Do you want my dad to hear?"
"Oh sorry. He doesn't know?" Puck was pretty sure he had never apologised to anyone this much in his life.
"No I went with my aunt, she lied about my age."
"Yeah she'd have to, you look like..."
"... an eleven year old milkmaid" Kurt finished. "I'm aware thanks."
"So anyway it's totally badass having a tat and you know nice too" Puck said trying really hard to be nice after being such a douche about Kurt's dead mom.
"Thanks." Kurt let out a big sigh "Fine apology accepted. But only for this one incident."
"So we good then?"
"No" Kurt replied and Puck felt his face drop in disappointment. "But one day maybe we will be" he smiled waiting for Puck's expression to lighten and for him to turn to leave before adding "Oh and Noah?" Puck turned back raising an eyebrow at the use of his name. "Next time you think about manhandling me in a locker room... don't start what you can't finish."
Puck was too stunned to register the door slamming in his face.