Ok ok I know what you all be thinking, "Why the hell would this person write a new story again when all of her others are not even done yet?" Well to answer that: This is a crack idea that I thought would be hilarious to write and also I don't know why. So to get this out of my system I decided to write it.

Just a few things: This is after the whole incident with Victoria so that is over with. Edward and Bella are still engaged. There is more insanity than one person can handle.

Summary: After leaving the Cullen children home alone, Esme and Carlisle come home to find the house in shambles. Deciding that enough is enough they have to get a babysitter. But who can they get to babysit a house filled with teenage vampires?

My Fiancée is my Babysitter?

It was supposed to a nice and quiet weekend. Esme and Carlisle had entrusted the Cullen siblings with taking care of the house while they spent the weekend together. All Edward wanted to do is spend it with Bella, but she was not around. She said that she had too much work to get done that it would not even be worth his time coming over. So respecting her wishes, he would leave her alone for the weekend. But now the house was in shambles and chaos consumed. There was nothing he could do to stop it.

"ALICE GET BACK HERE!" Rose yelled while chasing Alice around the house.

"NO! BESIDES YOU GAVE ME THIS DRESS!" Alice yelled back dodging Rose's lunges toward her sister.

"NO! I LENT YOU THE DRESS AND YOU REDESIGNED TO FIT YOUR NEEDS!" Rose once again lunged at her sister.

That was chaos in and of itself, but things only got worse from there, "EMMETT I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY THAT IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO THAT BOOK I'LL-"

"NO JASPER YOU CHEATED THEREFORE…" Emmett took the Civil War book and threw it in the toilet and tried to flush it and water started to gush out.

"NO! THAT TEARS IT!" Jasper ran to the Wii with a sludge hammer in hand.

"NO!" Emmett watched as the game system was destroyed.

Edward sighed, but now things (if possible), "GIVE ME BACK MY DRESS OR I'LL…KILL EDWARD'S PINAO!"

"WHAT?" Edward yelled now running to the sight of the piano in question.

There he found Rose with a chain saw in hand and Alice standing there looking smug. There were crashes and bangs in the other room.

"Please what does Edward's piano have to do with…" Alice's eyes glazed over and she gasped and turned back to Edward, "You wouldn't."

He knew what he would do if Rose destroyed his piano, "Give her the damn dress." He all but snarled.

Alice looked at him then back at Rose, "You both are bluffing." For once she was betting against herself.

"Give me the damn dress now." Rose said.

"Give it to her Alice." Edward warned.

"Over my dead body." She said. The chain saw was started and Edward's piano became woodchips.

"NO!" Edward yelled than ran upstairs and started to destroy Alice's wardrobe. He threw her close out the window before Alice could do anything and then he ran to get the gasoline then back into her and Jasper's room.

"Wait Edward don't!" She yelled. Emmett and Jasper ran into the room just as Edward said, "Too late." He dumped the gas and then lit a match.

"NOOOOOO!" Alice yelled that Jasper had to hold her back so she didn't jump out the window as the clothes ignited.

"Dude." Emmett whispered.

"That was harsh Edward." Rose said as they watched Alice sob.

"And destroying my piano wasn't?" He threw back venomously.

There was a big argument and Alice pounced on Edward causing him to fly through the front door and they started rolling on the ground. Emmett, Jasper, and Rose were thrown into the mix trying to pry Alice off of Edward. More destruction occurred that no one noticed Esme and Carlisle coming up the driveway.

When Esme saw the house she flipped, "MY HOUSE! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

Everyone froze as Carlisle and Esme glared at the 'children'. They through each other glances as Esme continued to yell, "YOU GUYS ARE SO DEAD! THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW FOR ALL OF YOU! I AM SO SICK OF COMING HOME TO FIND THE HOUSE HALF DEMOLISHED! THIS ENDS NOW! OBVIOUSLY YOU SPOILED ROTTEN BRATS CANNOT BE TRUSTED TO BE BY YOURSELVES!"

Once she was done no one moved until Emmett said, "Well look at the time. It's time to hunt. I am starved. Who wants to come?"

There was murmurs and before Carlisle could stop them they ran like the cowards they were.

Esme and Carlisle sighed and turned back to the pitiful looking house. Esme started to sob and Carlisle comforted her, "It's ok."

"No it's not. If they are not going to act their proper ages then I suggest we treat them like the 'kids' they are." Esme said, "I mean I would trust Edward but it seems like he is just as irresponsible as the rest of them."

"I know. I saw the tapes." Carlisle sighed.

They started to clean and being vampires in a matter of two hours the house was done and back to normal. Sitting in front of the computer they started to look at some babysitter sights trying to find a babysitter for their 'babies'. Of course they had to focus their minds just in case Edward was in mind reading distance and Alice was looking into the future.

"You know I just thought of something." Carlisle said as Esme clicked on a new sight.

"What?" Esme asked.

"We can't get a babysitter."

"Why?"

Carlisle sighed, "Because I am sure that the Volturi do not want another human knowing that we are vampires and I am sure that the poor human that we hire is going to have nightmares because of Emmett or Alice."

She thought for a moment, "Yea so true." Carlisle got up and started to walk out when, something caught her eye, "Hey Carlisle?"

"Yes." He asked turning back around.

"Is this for real?" she asked.

He looked over her shoulder. The website was for the top rated babysitters across the country. And in the high top five babysitters was, "Well I'll be god damned." He said reading the name.

Getting up they made their way to a certain someone's house.