Hisao Nakai sat in his basement playing the vidya early one morning. And by early one morning, I mean noon. Yes I just broke the 4th wall. Deal with it.
"Hey man, why don't you let me play a round? All I have at home is a PS3." Kenji Seto whined, his glasses shining in the damp drearly basement of Hisao's mom's house where Hisao lived because he was forever alone.
"You should have thought about that before you bought it. You still don't have any games for it do you?" Hisao gave Kenji the ol chocolate-eating grin, knowing full well the PS3 doesn't have any games.
"Hey man screw you, just let me play. You remember that time I saved you from that girl? I know she wanted to eat your brain man. That's how they learn about us." Kenji waved his arm around in the air, magically drawing a picture of one of some big pink thing from that one movie with the alien bugs in it.
"FUCK BATTERIES!" Hisao raged as the batteries in his wireless controller dropped faster than Osama Bin Laden being shot in the eye with a magic bullet.
"Now we have to go to the junkyard and get more!" Hisao hacky sacked the controller and the batteries came flying out, which he tornado kicked into the trash can across the room.
"Dude, why are we going to the junkyard for batteries? They're cheap as hell at Wal-mart." Kenji whined.
"SHUT YOUR PUNK ASS UP! The batteries at the junkyard are cheaper. I can buy them from Rin for 3 bucks, for like 100 batteries."
Arriving at the junkyard, which was a glorious untapped wasteland of nostalgia, usless crap, and real bargains if you have the stomach to go diving in it. Sitting atop this golden, stank filled temple was a girl.
"Sup Rin." Hisao brofisted Rin, but since Rin didn't have any arms, he was brofisting her foot.
"Hisao, Kenji." Rin nodded to them and took a lick of the lolipop she had deftly clutched between her toes. The trucker hat she wore was slightly worn down, most likely taken from the junk piles beside her.
"WE REQUIRE BATTERIES SO THAT WE MAY CONTINUE OUR QUEST TO SAVE NEW YORK FROM THE ARMY OF SPACE BANDITOS!" Hisao took a heroic pose and pointed towards the sky with his index finger. A beam of light shot from his finger straight up into the sky and turned the sun into a giant disco ball.
"They're over there" Rin pointed with her foot towards a large mountain of trash that resembled Kilamanjaro which coincidentally was the High Score Hisao had just gotten playing "Attack of the Mutant Space Banditos 4"
"FUCK YES WE'RE IN THAT SHIT!" Hisao swan dived into the junk and started looking around and testing the batteries by licking them. "TASTES LIKE CHERRY GOD DAMN!" He relished. Little did he know that was the taste of the flesh of his tongue being burnt off.
"Dude, there's something pink sticking out of this pile." Kenji pointed to what looked like a large hand.
"Kenji you can't see shit, for all I know it could be black." Hisao said after stuffing a battery into his Johnny Quest lunch box that he pulled out of space and time.
"No seriously man, come check this shit out." Kenji stomped his foot like a little girl who told her father she didn't want to be teen pregnant anymore.
"Alright fine." Hisao pulled doll of some ugly yellow fucker off his head that told him to eat his shorts.
Hisao saw some ugly fat thing sticking out of the junk pile that was indeed pink. "COME MY BROTHER, WE MUST INVESTIGATE THIS IN THE NAME OF DISCOVERY!" Hisao started thrusting his pelvis at the pile of junk like a raging horny God. The trash just exploded and ran away revealing a large, fat looking pink robot.
"MOTHER OF GOD!" Hisao snapped his fingers and a pair of sunglasses magically appeared in his hand along with a Highway Trooper hat, both of which he put on his head.
"Whoa just wait a minute here." Kenji said in disbelief. "Did we just find a giant fucking robot?"
"YOU BET YOUR WHISKEY LOVING ASS WE DID SON!" Hisao and Kenji bumped their fists together, projecting a single large fist that rocketed into the sky and exploded, raining a thousand tiny brofists down on everyone.