Title: Love the Way You Lie
Author: Forsaken2003
Pairing: S/X
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!
Summary: Spike and Xander don't live happily ever after.
Warnings/Spoilers: Character's Deaths.
Song: Love the Way You Lie by Eminem featuring Rihanna

Note: I apparently lied when I said I would always have happy endings for the boys. Hopefully this is the only story like this.
Beta'd by: Whichclothes

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Xander remembered at one time in his life that he had been happy. Happy with Spike. It had been great. Spike was the one who stood up for him, protected him. That was before the chip malfunctioned. Now all he had was the memories.

Xander was on the floor, a hand to his cheek from where Spike struck him. It hadn't been the first time and he knew it wouldn't be the last. But it was his fault. Xander was too weak to really try and leave. He loved Spike too much. Xander knew he would die if he tried to leave, he'd also die if he stayed. There was no winning for him.

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off of love, drunk from my hate,
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me and I love it.
Wait! Where you going?
"I'm leaving you"
No you ain't. Come back we're running right back.
Here we go again
It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped
Who's that dude? I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

"Don't do that, Xander!" Spike screamed down at Xander. Tears streamed down his face. "Why do you do that?" he whispered. "You said you'd never leave me!"

"I'm sorry, Spike," Xander said his eyes cast down. "It's just you scared me….again."

Spike sighed, and knelt down and grasped Xander's chin harshly. "You know I don't mean to. It's your fault. You had been flirting with that bastard all night!"

"I-I wasn't, though! I didn't know he was interested in me," Xander said and he cringed away when Spike brought his hand up to his wipe tears off of Xander's cheek.

"That's why you need me," Spike said and he kissed Xander. Their teeth clinked against each other.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Like every other night Xander was curled up on their bed. Arms covered his head as he waited for another blow. He tried leaving…again. It was no use but his gut told him to run. But then Spike followed him and told him he was sorry. He always was, wasn't he? And Xander as stupid as he was would smile and kiss Spike and follow him back into their home. Then the beatings started again.

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you're with 'em
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah, them chills you used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, hit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em
So lost in the moments when you're in them
It's the rage that took over it controls you both
So they say you're best to go your separate ways
Guess if they don't know you 'cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her
Next time you show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Spike sniffled. He knew he was killing Xander. Spike was so much stronger than him. His blows much too hard. Spike looked over at Xander who had his head covered, afraid of more blows. Xander was already black and blue. Why did Xander have to piss him off so badly?

"You know this is your fault," Spike said and he looked at Xander's shaking form. "How many times do I have to tell you, you can't leave me?"

"I know. Please Spike. I can't take anymore," Xander whimpered. "You're killing me."

Spike wrapped his arms around Xander. "You're killing me right back, luv."

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Xander had tried killing himself. He had the razor in his hand but he was too chicken to do it. The thought of leaving Spike made his stomach turn. How sick was it for him to love the monster that made him this way? No, Xander couldn't kill himself, but he could still make himself hurt. He pressed the sharp edge down onto his forearm.

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby, please come back
It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time. There won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I'm just gonna

Spike couldn't take it anymore. Xander and he would no longer happy together no matter how much they loved each other and they did, they both knew that. The words were no longer said, though. They hadn't been said in months.

He looked over at Xander who was chained down on their bed. Spike remembered when they were used for sex, to spice things up. That was so long ago, though. The air smelt of gasoline. He climbed onto the bed and he stared down at Xander. "Tell me we were happy once."

"We were happy once, Spike," Xander whispered. He was no longer afraid to die. There was nothing left to live for.

"Tell me you love me," Spike ordered; his hand gripped his lighter.

Xander gave him a watery smile. "I love you. Always have, always will. You're all I have."

"I love you too, pet," Spike said and he leaned down to kiss Xander one last time. He flicked his Zippo on and dropped it.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

The End