Sometime during season 4 sans the demon blood and ruby ;) Sammy POV, disclaimer: I don't own
You see Hell's fire in his greengreen eyes, and all you want is for him to need you like this forever.
Because you don't think you'll manage without his all-consuming kisses. You won't survive without his ever-burning love. You'll die without him in your arms
But he's strong. He's so strong, and that's his only weakness. He's too strong to let you inside, to let you help. All you want is to be let in.
To his body, his mind.
To his heart, his soul.
All you want is to claim that space inside of him as yours. You know – that little corner between his heart and his soul. You want to curl up as small as you can go, and ease yourself in – gently, gently – and just nestle there.
Because, see, when you look into his veridianjade eyes, you see Hellfire, and you see Black. Just empty space. A hole where part of his Humanity used to be. And if you crawl inside of him, if you contort your body so that it fits, then you'll be filling that hole, won't you?
Then he won't be empty any more, he'll be full. Full of life, of joy, of love. But … then he won't need you any more. He'll be able to manage without your all-consuming kisses, to survive without your ever-burning love, to live without you in his arms. And you can't deal with that, you just can't.
So as much as you want to fill that hole inside of him – to fill it with love and joy and life – you don't. It's selfish, really, but you can't help it. You just watch him suffer, watch him need you. And then you go to him. And he's grateful, so grateful. You're the only thing that keeps him anchored to reality after all the pain-blood-torture, after all the sickening-twisting-snapping-crushing-agony, after all the scalding-heat-sizzling-bubbling-flesh.
And sometimes you wander what it'd be like, in that corner between his heart and his soul. What it'd be like trying to fill that empty void which is so full of Fire and Black that you can't think of a Hell worse than it.
And you shudder.
So you stop wandering, and you hold him instead. You hold him so tightly, so close against your body, almost as if you're trying to take him inside of you. Almost as if, if he's inside of you, you can shield him from the flames inside of him. But, he doesn't fit inside of you, how can he? Because you're already full. Of love, of joy, of life.
Well, hypothetically, anyway.
:O that was so cynical! I apologise for the cynicism of that last bit … it seems exams put me in a cynical mood … thoughts?