Summary: "You caused this, you killed yourself before you were meant to die, you caused the rip and you have to be sent back to fix it"
The pensive effect-First year again
The grounds were a flurry of smoking bodies in piles and flames that licked at them before consuming its meal. The dead weren't just dead, they were soulless and empty, yet they held the faces of everyone Harry ever knew and cared for since the beginning of his time in the Wizarding World and now they were gone. He stood on the hill that held the people he considered family and simply watched them burn, Harry felt utterly numb as he saw their skin melt off their bones then become ash, it was sickening in smell and sight, but he couldn't look away. This was their burial, the eternal way of living, and their ashes will scatter in the winds to forever roam the earth.
He had their names marked in stone, every single person he knew and found the names of, all either good, bad, or neutral, all of them were added to a stone. He laid their names next to memorial to his headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, and added his name to the list. There was no way he was staying this land while everyone was gone, there was no one left, even the magical creatures were gone, most left the land while others left the dimension, he was the last one and no one cared if he was gone or not.
"Mum, Dad, Siri, Remus...I'm coming to join you" he said as he held a knife in his hand. Harry could of easily A. himself, but he wanted to feel the pain, he wanted to feel the pain in his heart bleed out of him and he wanted to make himself pay for letting the others die. He put the knife to his throat and moved it to one side quickly and deeply then did it to the other side. Harry choked as blood filled his mouth then flooded down his chin and his throat. His body fell as he continued to try and breathe from the lack of oxygen and the overflowing blood, but he knew it wouldn't last long. Sure enough, Harry stopped trying to breathe as his body shut down and his heart came to a painful stop which then made Harry Potter dead to the world.
He floated in and out of consciousness. He couldn't tell what was up and what was down, his couldn't open his eyes even though he wanted to, he wanted to see the spirits of his family and friends, he wanted to see the people he loved in front of him, he wanted to be free.
"Harry" a soft, feminine voice came into his ear, "It's time to wake up" the voice said softly. As if a heavy burden had been lifted from his eyelids, they open and he saw a soft violet tinge to the sky. Was he dead? He let his eyes roam the area; the tinge was everywhere, even below him. He didn't see anyone or anything that could give him a clue as to where he was.
'Where am I?' he thought to himself then jumped as he finally caught onto the fact that someone was running their hand through his hair. When he turned to see who had touched him, he got a shock of a woman that looked like his mother, only slightly different.
The woman had dark red hair, so dark it was on a turning point to be brown; her eyes were a hard forest green color that had a flood of fire that reminded Harry of something being born and bringing life into the world. She was on her knees, but Harry could tell that she had an hourglass figure and a generous bust size that was hidden by a deep dark violet robe and cloak that brought out her hair and made her flawless, fair skin shine.
"Who-who are you?" Harry spoke, feeling that his throat was on fire and not wanting to work. He brought his hand up to his throat and felt a large and thick scar run across his throat; it was then that he remembered him killing himself with a slice to the throat.
"I see you remember your suicide" the woman spoke in an angered tone, "As for your question, I'm called many things. Death, Shinigami-sama, the Grim Reaper, but you can call me Thana*. I am the master of death and creator of the Deathly Hallows" the woman said, her voice unchanging in its tone. Harry felt his breath catch in his throat as he looked at the woman, Thana, he could feel the anger rising off her form and watched as she stood up to her full height, he blames the Dursely family for his short stature, but really? Thana was taller than him and she wasn't even that tall, if his calculations were correct she was around 5'5" and he was around 5'1 ½" at best. A look must have passed across his face as he saw Thana have a small sly smirk cross her face.
"Bitter about you short stature, sweetie?" she said in amusement, the anger was still there as it was written in her form, but she was amused at his bitterness and anger.
"Oh, you don't know the half of it" Harry growled out, despite his voice hurting. Thana had a look of something that was worse than anger, but not quiet rage cross her face as she leaned forward to Harry.
"Try me, Boy Wonder" Thana all, but hissed, "I know your story, born to two wonderful parents who were murdered, left on your relatives doorstep, abused-"
"I wasn't abused" Harry said defensively. He hated that word, that word made him feel like he wasn't even worth the love he received from his friends and his godfather when he was alive. His logic geared towards the fact that if the Durselys didn't have some little ounce of love, like, contentment, or whatever it was they felt towards him other then jealousy, bitterness, and dislike, wouldn't he had been killed on sight or dumped elsewhere? Thana blinked at Harry, her face blank and showing something that said 'yeah right'.
"Then what do you call it? Because from what I saw, you living in a cupboard, getting little food, smacked around or beaten, doing every little thing to their expectations and it never being good enough, distasteful words being said towards you, it was abuse" Thana hissed, her eyes raging with the fire in her eyes.
"I say mistreatment and they didn't call me much, boy, freak and sometimes Harry, that part you were wrong about" Harry said to her, that part seem to irk Thana more.
"You say that and don't deny the other things, brushing it off as "mistreatment", but you were abused. As I was saying before I was interrupted, abused by your relatives until school letters came for you to start at Hogwarts. Hunted every year by Voldemort, exempting third year, harmed each year by a professor one way or another, one being an accident and another being endangerment by your headmaster. You were tortured, nearly killed each year, killed for ten minutes at the final battle, then abandoned as everyone was dead, you had to deal with burying said people then suicide. Now you say I don't know? I think I know very well, Harry, I know as I was there when Fate had for told your birth and told me that you were my child" Thana said, the last part making her a little sad. Harry looked at her with a weird look.
"What do you mean 'your child'? Lily was my mother not you!" Harry said. Thana had the sad look turn to anguish when Harry said that.
"You are my child. A child born to take control of the Deathly Hallows and one day take over my domain, you were chosen to be my successor, sweetie, you are my child in all the ways possible and more, you are of my flesh, of my blood, and of my soul. Lily was a container to bring you into the world and was your mortal mother who gave her life for you, but you are mine above all else" Thana said softly and sadly as she got closer to Harry. Harry blinked at what she said and didn't move as she got closer, or when she wrapped her arms around him, one around his back while the other held his head beneath her chin. He didn't know what to feel, this woman told him the he belonged to her and was her child, how was he supposed to act?
"If I am your child then why keep me in the living world?" Harry asked. Thana held him tightly as that question hit her.
"I wanted more than anything to have you right here, but it is against the rules to bring one to this world before their time as it causes the timeline to collapse and an apocalypse happens" Thana explained, "While you lived, I watched over you and did anything I could to make sure you continued to be safe and live to your destined death date, but you killed yourself before your time and caused a rip to happen" Thana told him which then caused him to become confused.
"Rip? What rip?" he wondered what it meant.
"A rip in the timeline. With you dead before your time, that rip is leaking out memories and inner nightmares, making the world turn upside down and causing so many mess ups that has to be fixed in order to see that you come to where you are supposed to be" Thana seemed to be hating this part as she was shaking as she held Harry.
"Why can't you let me stay dead? Why not let me stay here?" Harry asked desperately, not liking where this conversation had headed.
"Because it is against the rules of the universe to do so, when something is set by Fate and/or Destiny, it is set in stone, people can change it to their benefit, but what they become and what happens later to them is already determined" Thana told him, feeling Harry back away from her as she said this.
"Why not break those rules? You said you helped me isn't that against the rules?" he asked.
"I only helped in the ways I could such as making your touch burn that mad man of a professor in your first year and had given Albus a boost in sending Fawkes to your aide in second year, I didn't directly change things, I only added a few details that Fate allowed" Thana sighed and waved her hand to the side which became a mirror or portal, he didn't know which one it was.
"I can't let you stay because this happened when that rip was created by you" Thana said and let Harry look at what he thought looked like Hell on Earth, only much, much, much worse. Everything was dead, all life that he knew was gone, spiraling vortexes of fire shot in the air, and magma ate away at anything, even itself. Demon like creatures flew in the air, attacking one another than the victor eating the loser while on looking demons dived for what little scraps fell from the victors feast. Screams of what Harry thought were Muggles and whatever magical creatures that stayed on Earth rang out in defining ranges of pitch, it was horrifying as everything seemed to be pointing at him and confirming his horrors before the planet seemed to just die and crumble before imploding on itself. Thana closed the portal and let the image set in Harry's mind, hating that this was the only way to fix it.
"Why?" Harry found himself asking.
"It's because you died" Thana said, "You caused this, you killed yourself before you were meant to die, you caused the rip and you have to be sent back to fix it" she said the last part in the sadness that she tried to force away. Harry looked at Thana; his eyes held the haunting look from what he saw.
"How far back? How do I fix this and how long will it take?" Harry asked. Thana looked at him before summoning a couple of chairs.
"You will be sent back to the beginning, to where your torment started, when you were ten years old" Thana started her explain, "You fix this by living what you did over again, but instead of going through it the same, you change key events and some small events that held a hand in what brought you to your suicide and as for how long...that isn't to be spoken about, for it is unclear about when you are supposed to die now that you have to fix the rip. Fate doesn't know as you broke her chain she set for you, she can't make a new one, she can only redo the chain with one event at a time as you go along until you meet back to that point you died" Thana finished and put a hand on one of Harry's.
"Look, I can't be right there next to you, but I can be there to give advice along the way and help keep you going. Since you came here, I have a contact with you and it's through you self-made scar" Thana said. She watched Harry touch his throat and look at her with one last question written in his eyes.
"No, you won't be alone if you don't make yourself closed off. You are in charge of what happens now; your previous life, that history that was written, has vanished and now you start clean. You can make new bonds with old enemies and renew those with your old friends, it's up to you and no one else" Thana had a smile as she said the last part, knowing that her son would try to change everything he did wrong, but she knew that certain things couldn't be changed, but they could be prolonged for however long Harry keeps living and changing his life. Thana leaned forward and kissed Harry's forehead. Once she did this, Harry's eyes grew heavy and began to close.
"Sleep, Harry, when you wake, you life begins once more, my son" Thana's voice echoed in his ears as he slipped into unconsciousness.
Me: Heh, yeah I had this idea bug me for a while, I'm slowly getting back into an updating routine and it started with my Lion King story, I'll keep updating when I can, I'm pushing myself to keep going, but I need your help as well, I need encouragement to do so, and no it's not the usual 'UPDATE SOON!' things 'cause then it is just makes me go 'bleh no update power'. So yeah, help me to get the stories out again, get my creativity out there again plz.
* Thana is Greek for Death and is the feminine form of Thanatos.