This fic takes up where Plan B leaves off. Kensi and Deeks are the last members of the team to say good night after a long day, but the fireworks are not over…..yet.
A huge shout out goes to Dave Kalstein and Joe Wilson, the original screenwriters of Plan B. It was my favorite episode of season two and in homage…. I just had to keep it going.
You guys rock.
"No thing….There is no thing!" Deeks responds and smiles to no one in particular.
Kensi stops short and twirls around quickly.
"Really, Deeks? Because if I hear you say that one more time, I'm going to scream. And for the record, I don't believe you anymore either." Kensi stands defiantly in front of her partner.
The detective couldn't have been more surprise if she had knocked him over with a feather.
"Wha…what….?" Deeks stammers.
Damn, it's been a tough day and apparently it wasn't over.
"So what will it take for us to have a thing, Deeks?" Hands on her hips, Kensi moves in closer. "Just when are you going to have the courage to admit you have feelings for me?"
The Mission is strangely quiet. The entire staff seemed to have cleared out all of a sudden. Even Hetty's desk is vacant.
Deeks turns away in a huff. He's pissed off now. "Great! You're the second woman to rip me a new one today."
He points a finger at Hetty's desk. "Three, if you count Hetty who reminded me that I need to get a life. So if you don't mind, you'll just have to get in line." Deeks throws his backpack down on his desk.
"I get it Deeks, we're partners and maybe you just want to keep this strictly platonic," said Kensi. "But we both know that phase ended a long time ago. There's is a lot more going on here than you want to admit."
Deeks walks away and leans up against one of the stone columns. He weighs his words carefully.
"Look I can be dense sometimes Kensi. But I know a lot of those questions you were asking today weren't about me and Nicole. They were about us." He pauses to lower his voice. "And yes, you deserve to know the truth too."
"Who's truth?" she demands. "Marty Deeks' or Max Gentry's?"
"Does it matter?' Deeks asks. "Because Nicole didn't want to hear the truth today and you may not either."
Deeks takes the long walk back to stand stoically in front of the women he has come to care for. Kensi is staring down at her hands now. She thought she was brave enough to hear what he has to say but she's not sure anymore. This is beginning to hurt.
"Kensi look at me. Please," Deeks pleads. Kensi raises her head slowly and looks directly into Deeks eyes.
"This whole case with Ray and Nicole has messed with my head, big time. When I saw Nicole I realized the feelings I had for her were still raw and something I didn't know how to deal with." Deeks stopped to read Kensi's face.
"Callen was right. The only thing that wasn't real in the boathouse today was my alias but the feelings were real, and they're eating me alive right now."
"So what are you saying Deeks?" Kensi asks. "Do you still want to be with Nicole?"
Deeks stares at the floor. "When I told her I was a cop, she wanted to know what part of our life together was real. I told her I didn't know." He pauses.
"She called me a coward."
"Yeah, well she's got that right." Kensi crosses her arms over her chest.
"Damn it, Kensi!" Deeks raises his voice. "Haven't you ever been so confused you don't know what's wrong or what's right anymore? If you weren't a big part of my life right now, maybe it would be a lot easier to take this further with Nicole…. you know, if things were different….I could….maybe. Hell, I don't know!" Deeks throws his hands up in the air.
"If it wasn't a game…. then what's stopping you?" Kensi's voice waivered.
"You got to understand she took care of Max and needed Max. But I fantasized that the two of us could have a life together too. I was actually jealous of the love Nicole had for Max, and I desperately wanted what he had. Is it any wonder why I would go so willingly under cover?"
"Is this the part I don't want to hear Deeks?" Kensi argues. "Because as long as Max Gentry is the lead character in this play, it isn't real!"
"Don't you think I know that?" he cries. "Nicole is part of Max Gentry's life - not mine." Deeks continues. "But every time I left Max behind, I had to bury him as deep as I could so I didn't have to deal with my feelings for Nicole anymore. And it worked until I saw her again today."
Kensi is not sure she can hear the rest.
"That's why I didn't want you to know about Max or any part of that alias. I had to keep both worlds separate. You don't belong in his world any more than Nicole belongs in my world." Deeks pauses. "Funny…. Despite it all, I have no regrets. All I ever wanted my whole life was someone to care for me. And I got to feel that for a short time even if it was only through Max."
Kensi turns away with a groan. But she can't stop now. She's got to take a chance.
"Well guess what… I care for you Deeks, and I don't give a shit about Max Gentry." Kensi pounds her fist into Deeks' chest. "I'm real Deeks. We're real."
I know," whispers Deeks. "I know."
Deeks covers his hand over Kensi's clenched fist. "I think I've known since the day I got shot how you really feel about me. "
"Look we don't have to jump into this head first….we can take it slow and see what happens," she suggested.
Deeks shakes his head.
"It's a lot easier being Max than being Marty Deeks right now…. I wish I was ready to make that commitment Kensi but I still got to figure out what happen here today. I know there is something going on between us but I'm just not ready to go there yet."
Kensi lets out a long sigh and takes a step away from Deeks. "Ok. Fair enough. I can wait Deeks." She turns away and waves her hand. "Go figure out who and what you need. I'm not going anywhere."
"I hope not…..because I really want to make that call one day to Ray and tell him all about my thing with Wikipedia." He gives her that Marty Deeks smile that always melts her heart.
"Oh what the hell," Kensi says as she crosses over to him in one step.
Deeks meets her kiss, eyes wide open.
She wraps his fingers in her left hand and pulls him closer to her with her right. There is no denying they are starved for each other. Thankfully some of the loneliness falls down around them as they melt into each other's arms.
Kensi pulls back after too short a time. Did she give in too quickly? No. She knows she's going to have to choose her battles wisely if she is going to win the war. Her heart is lighter but she is still emotionally sore and banged up. She wishes she could tell the jerk that she loves him. But that will have to wait for another time when he is ready to hear it.
"Good night, Deeks." Kensi turns and walks out. The door closes quietly behind her.
The Mission is quite again.
Deeks smiles once again…. to no one in particular.
Thanks go to Maxie Kay for some great advice, Schwarze_ratte for the avatar, and all the terrific comments from you, the reader who have motivated me to keep writing more stories around these great characters.