As her eyes flitted closed, the tears pooling in Castle's eyes tracked down his face. Help was already swarming, and he knew he should get out of the way. It was a police captain's funeral, after all, and there were all sorts of emergency personnel there for it. But he couldn't move. Everything swirled around him while medics jumped in front of him, nudging him out of the way. He couldn't hear anything. He saw in slow motion radios being yelled into and Jim Beckett running towards them. He could see the words, "Katie, no!" form on the man's lips and at the same time plenty of men running toward the source of the shot, guns drawn. He could see their mouths forming shouts, too, but all he could hear was the dull roar of his own blood rushing through his head. He managed to stand when the ambulance arrived, and he was only slightly aware that Martha and Alexis were holding his hands and hugging his arms.
The motion swirling around him was a blur, but he saw a medic he'd gotten to know shouting at him as they hefted the gurney into the bus shouting what looked like very familiar words, "Castle, you coming?" Castle focused on the man and clear sounds suddenly blasted his ears. Yelling, crying, sirens, and the medic's voice shouting, "Ride up front!" as he slammed the back doors shut. Castle jumped so he didn't miss the chance to ride and it was only after the ambulance started screaming down the road that it occurred to him that maybe he should have let Jim ride instead. Everything seemed to change from slow motion to hyper speed, and they flew to the hospital. He found himself praying for the second time in his life, begging God to save her, and thanking Him for the openings in traffic. His mind flipped to the first time he'd prayed, when Alexis was missing in a department store when she was four, and his mind kept going to terrors like what had happened to Adam Walsh when Rick was just a boy. He could imagine how Jim Beckett was feeling right now, and hoped the man was just behind the ambulance in a car.
They burst through the doors into the hospital where there was already staff waiting to take over, and he jogged along trying to understand everything the medics were telling the doctors. Then he felt a hand pushing him back, and a nurse was telling him he had to wait there. His eyes pleaded, his voice begged, "I'm her partner." The nurse hurriedly said she'd bring news as soon as there was any. He thought he was about to collapse, or throw up, or both. He didn't know how long he stood there staring at the Authorized Personnel Only sign when there were hands on his again, and he saw people who loved him at his sides. He tried to hide the terror in his expression, but when it came to his feelings for Kate, he always had a tell. "Daddy, she'll be okay. She's fierce." His daughter's sweet voice quivered, and he scooped her up into a hug. Martha wrapped her arms around both of them shushing them and trying to calm them.
The room quickly filled, everyone waited impatiently, and finally the door opened. Rage filled him as the last person in the world that Castle wanted to see walked in and went straight to Jim Beckett. As far as he knew, Kate and Josh were still together, but he couldn't be sure. He didn't tell her when he broke it off with Gina, she just seemed to know. Kate had certainly been more open to Castle lately, so he'd assumed - or at least hoped - Doctor Motorcycle Boy was out of the picture. But there he was, giving Jim the news of how she was doing. He was close enough to hear, and he didn't step any closer for fear of decking the doctor for not being at the funeral in the first place. Beyond jealousy, he hated the man for never being there for her.