It's All Connected
Summary: **Part of the 'Not Your Typical Wins' series** Anya has a brainstorm about how to defeat Glory.
Challenge: hadn't dealt with Glory yet, so Musie used her crackfic powers to come up with this gem.
Timeline: season 5 'Listening to Fear'.
A/N: Slight canon changes; the monk told Buffy what Glory was and that she had a human 'side'. Other change mentioned right away.
Warning: if you like Ben, this may upset you.
Thanks to my betas: none, though maybe there should have been.
Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
Listening to the others talk about how to find out who Glory's human vessel was, Anya was struck by one of those ideas that – if she had been in a cartoon – would cause a light bulb to appear over her head. They didn't need to find Glory's human vessel.
She raced down the basement to look in the vault where they kept all the dangerous items. Anya quickly opened it and pulled out the Toth weapon. This was exactly the kind of situation they had decided to keep the weapon for! When there was a demon that was too strong to defeat, they would split it in the hopes of killing the weak side.
Only problem Anya could think of was their reluctance to kill humans. Didn't they know that a soul didn't make one creature inherently better than another? All they had to do was look at the newspaper to realize that humans could be just as evil as demons. And even if this particular human happened to be good, the death of one could save the world. She thought that was a pretty fair trade-off.
Giles might be pragmatic enough to agree with her, but Xander and the girls would be horrified. She could ask Riley for help, but the ex-Initiative soldier gave her the heebie-jeebies. Of course, she could always ask Spike to assist her. Sometimes she thought he missed killing humans, and giving him the chance to help kill one in order to save the world? Anya would have to kill Ben herself because of the chip, but at least Spike could draw Glory out so she could be hit with the staff weapon.
With her decision made, Anya slipped out of the shop to track Spike down, stopping to get some blood and cigarettes from Willy's to serve as a bribe.
Out near Miller's Woods
Spike was beaten pretty badly in his attempt to goad the hell-goddess, but Anya managed to fire the weapon before he was turned to dust. Part of her was shocked to see the orderly from the hospital lying on the ground next to Glory, but she recovered quickly, putting the Toth's weapon down carefully and grabbing her gun.
Before he could stand up and be shot, however, Glory screamed in rage and stuck her hands inside the nearest meat-bag – which happened to be her human counterpart – to stave off the madness the split caused. Then to make things worse for the human male, a meteorite – which had struck the earth mere moments before – broke open and released the Queller demon he had summoned. Being the closest crazy person, Ben was its first meal.
Anya didn't understand where the giant slug thing came from, but watching it kill the human half of Glory for them – which also killed the hell-goddess…thankfully – made Anya smile. Now she and Spike could honestly say that they didn't harm a human.
But she would have to tell Buffy to kill the slug demon before it hurt anyone else.
A/N: I have no clue if the Toth weapon would work like that, but let's say that it would for the sake of crackfic. You gotta love the irony of Glory and Ben being partially responsible for their own deaths.