Tula woke up naked and hung over. She was disoriented and had a splitting headache, yet she was smiling. She lied dreamily on her side, basking in her gloriously satisfying memories of the night before...that is, what few there were.
Somewhere vaguely in the distance, Ioz groaned, "Scutt pango, how much did I drink last night?"
"Shut up, Ioz," Tula mumbled. "I had the best sex of my life last night, and you're ruining my morning after."
"Oh really?" Ioz nearly chuckled. "Doesn't seem like he stuck around."
"He probably knew we were setting sail early this morning," Tula rationalized.
"You remember telling him this?"
"...no," Tula admitted. "All I remember is drinking, arguing with you, drinking some more, and then when I could stand no more of your kreld, I secuded the first man I saw and brought him back here with me."
"Then you don't remember seeing me flirting with a beautiful woman?" Ioz goaded.
"No," Tula snorted.
"That's right, ecomancer, you aren't the only one Kunda smiled on last night," he said. He sounded disgustingly smug. "She couldn't keep her hands off of me. I brought her back here because I knew the rest of our crew would be at the tavern. I guess we were both too drunk to realize one of my shipmates was already here."
Tula retched at the thought of her and Ioz fornicating in the same place at the same time. "It doesn't seem like she stuck around, either."
"Of course not," Ioz said matter-of-factly. "I never allow my women to spend the night."
"Charming," Tula said sarcastically. Suddenly, her alcohol-damped mind began to dry, and her hang over-induced haze lifted. She noted where Ioz's voice and the sound of his breathing were coming from, and felt warm, bare skin against her back. Oh, Kunda, please don't let it be...she silently begged.
Slowly, she rolled over on to her other side, and she felt whoever was lying next to her do the same. When she and Ioz faced each other, they both screamed. After they had exhausted their vocabulary of swear words (including, but not limited to, Chongo-longo, noi-jitat, and by the two moons, which immediately made Tula blush furiously after she exclaimed it), they avoided each other's gaze, and there was an awkward silence.
At length, Tula tentatively said, "...Ioz?"
"What?" he growled.
"We can not tell Ren."
"For once, woman, we agree."
Just when they began to grow thankful that the situation could be no worse, they heard footsteps on the stairs and Ren's voice calling, "I heard screaming! Is everyting all right?"
Tula's entire body flushed with embarassment, and Ioz grunted and pretended to fall back to sleep.
A/N: First fanfic I've written in a long time. I didn't mean for Tula rolling over and seeing Ioz to be a big reveal. I was pretty sure you would know what was going on from the first few sentences, but the anticipation would come from wondering how funny it would be when Tula figured it out. Oh, yeah, by the way, these characters are property of Hannah-Barbera. But you probably knew that.