I sighed hating my guts, my kind and good heart and the fact that I couldn't say no to helping somebody.
My lucky white v-neck was covered in vomit, my hair had baby food in it, I smelled like poop and I hadn't slept properly in the last two nights –three if you counted tonight-; now I was on my TV room´s floor, with my legs crossed, on top of them a pillow and on the pillow…a giggling baby. I raised my eyebrow at the little monster, thanks to him I was in there instead of a plane to LA looking for the owner of those emerald eyes that crept in my every thought. I sighed again remembering how I got in this mess.
Logan and I were planning how to go to LA and talk to Kendall…I was a nervous to say the least, I mean it wasn't easy to go and spill your heart out to someone that had broken it so many times, but I had to do it.
"And then there´s Carlos" murmured my friend, I raised my eyebrows at him "You´re not on his best terms sense he saw the video, he thinks it was a low punch"
"Well it was…and not my idea, but I kind of agreed to it so I guess it´s as much my fault" I passed a hand through my face "What did you do when you watched it?"
"We were together, the four of us –Katie was there too- and they started showing it and I lost it" he chuckled "I punched Kendall" I frowned at this, Logan was so not a violent person, for him to hit someone –specially one of his best friends- was beyond weird.
"Wow…that…" I was interrupted by a knock in the door, I sighed walking there only to be greeted by a very desperate looking Faith –David´s wife-, she was holding a stroller and a big bag.
"James, please I need your help" she practically squeaked, concerned I let her in.
"What is it?" I saw the trails of tears on her cheeks "Are you ok? Where´s David?"
"He´s waiting at the car, we had to come back because my mother´s at the hospital…please James, could you take care of Owen for today? Maybe the night too? I know it´s too much to ask but we don't have any siblings and you´re like family…and the other guys are still back in Dallas…and…"
"I´ll do it, relax" I said putting my hands on her shoulders "It´s ok, don't worry" she sighed letting her head fall in my chest.
"Thank you" she whispered, I gave her a small hug before pushing her though the door.
"Go, be with your mom, we´ll be fine"
"Ok, his teeth are growing so he might be a little grumpy, the meds and instructions are on his bag…thank you James" and she was out. I turned to the stroller and smiled, Owen was asleep, taking care of him wasn't that hard, and if I waited six years to get Kendall, a couple of more days wouldn't hurt.
Of course Logan had stick around the first day and honestly it hadn't been that bad, the baby had been asleep most of the time but then the night came in…and baby Owen morphed into the little screaming monster. Of course that day and maybe the night had turned into three days and three nights, my dear best friend had gone to his girlfriend and now I was stuck with a baby that wouldn't sleep, that cried for hours and that made a mess out of myself.
"Seriously you are making me think of never taking care of children again in my life" I spoke to him, he giggled making me smile and roll my eyes, it was fun whining to him because if I did in the correct voice he would be calm and I could get out all my frustrations "First of all I´m here taking care of you instead of having awesome make out sex with Kendall; second, little dude you just ruined my lucky v-neck, my favorite shirt in the world because you didn't like your food…couldn't you just turn your head and do it somewhere else? Look even if I tried to clean it, the stain won´t go away, and nope I´m not changing shirts so you can ruin another one" I passed my hand though my hair…three sleepless nights, I could live with that but taking care of him was exhausting, I could really use a nice nap at that moment…except that Owen was more than awake and I had to give him his medicine in about an hour "What are you laughing about?" I grinned when he began playing with my fingers "Huh?" I started tickling his stomach getting a nice chuckle from him… cute little monster "Now tell me, which one is better, the red teletubie or the blue one? I think the blue one, it´s taller and has a deeper voice…manlier, right?" ok now I was delusional, but I had to keep talking in order to keep myself awake "Have you heard Kendall sing? I don't think so, your dad probably has you under some Ozzy Osborn regiment…well I have all Kendall´s songs, but I love No Matter What…he wrote that for me you know, I will put if for you when I want you to fall asleep, right now you have forty five more minutes of fun cause if I let you sleep now you´ll just wake up in a couple of hours crying like someone was killing you or something…dude you have some lungs" I ducked my head to rest my forehead on his smiling as the baby started touching my face completely interested…and yeah he was letting a wet trail of saliva on me but I didn't care…what was another body fluid on me after all? I was about to speak a little more when I heard a knock on the door, I frowned not having any idea of who could it be, I pulled Owen to my chest and walked to the door.
"Who is it?" I asked hating that I didn't have a peek hole in the door…mental note, get one.
"It´s me…Kendall" I froze…he was at my doorstep…oh shit. I moved fast to open the door.
He opened the door looking shocked of seeing me there…well I was a little surprised too, this wasn't even planed, just out of nowhere I had get myself tired of waiting and I had packed my clothes, found a flight and get Logan to tell me James´ address. Now what I didn't expect to see in my life was James in this state…I could not bite back a smile, he was a mess and he had a baby on his chest…ok that was so not the James I knew.
"Now you come…NOW of all moments!" he said stepping back leaving the door open, I guessed that I could go in, I did and shut the door after me.
"Want me to come back when you´re not covered in…? What is that on your shirt?" I frowned…it couldn't be…
"Baby puke" he furrowed his nose looking at the baby "Owen here graciously showed me that he doesn't like apples"
"And you don't care that he ruined your favorite v-neck?" that was incredible.
"I´m more amazed that you can know that this is my lucky v-neck" he smiled at me and my heart gave a leap, he hadn't smiled like that to me in ages. He walked to the next room where a huge TV rested showing some little kids cartoons and plopped himself on the carpeted floor putting the baby on its chair "Come on, we don't bite" he murmured not looking at me, Logan hadn't told me anything about how would James react if I came to visit, but this was something I had never expected. I saw him yawn, then he passed a hand through his hair "I´m sorry" he whispered making things a lot weirder, he wasn't the one supposed to apologize.
"Why are you sorry? I was the one that did that to you six years ago, the one with a girlfriend that screwed things up both of the times…I´m…" he sighed exaggeratedly loud before he got up grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and kissed me slowly, I responded immediately keeping his body close to mine moaning when he bit my lower lip and just when things started getting interesting, the baby started crying.
"We need to wait to get him his medicine in thirty minutes and get him to sleep, then we´ll talk" he said resting his forehead on mine looking really tired and frustrated.
"Ok" he grinned going back to the floor and lying next to the baby chair speaking softly calming him. I smiled sitting leaving the baby between us, I saw James move to get more comfortable keeping his eyes on the TV…this was so weird, I could feel the tension but also a unexpected familiarity on the whole thing, I decided that if I had to wait for the baby to fall asleep I might as well be comfortable too, so I leaned back on the couch at my back and tried to found any interest on the cartoon…how could kids watch this crap? I zoomed out until I felt a tiny tug on my shirt, I looked at my side smiling at the baby, he was cute, big blue eyes and back hair, I caressed his cheek before I moved my eyes to James…who was asleep. I raised my eyebrow, really? My eyes went back to the baby.
"I guess I have to take care of you" I sighed, I was not fit to babysit, I knew that much, but James looked so tired and peaceful… I could not wake him. I looked at my watch, it was time for the baby´s medicine but where was it? Biting my lip I stood up and looked around until I spotted the stroller and the baby´s bag, I walked there keeping a watch in…Owen, yeah James had called him that; I opened the bag and started searching inside, I found a note with the instructions and the medicine, I went to sit in front of him and gave him the dose, then I picked him up and put him on my chest in the same way I had seen James do it and began humming lightly while I carefully palmed his back in an attempt to make him sleep…this was so not how I pictured this moment.
I blinked when I felt someone move at my side, fuck I had fallen asleep. I sat a little too fast groaning when everything started turning.
"You ok?" I closed my eyes when I heard Kendall´s voice at my side…he was really there.
"Where´s Owen?" I looked around.
"Sleeping in your bed" he murmured showing me the baby radio-thingy.
"How long did I sleep?" I passed a hand through my face.
"About two hours"
"Sorry, that crazy baby kept me awake for the last three nights…now I have a lot more respect for moms" I move to look at him "Did Logan tell you to come here?"
"No, this time it was my idea…I am the one with the plans after all" he gave me sad attempt of a smug smile "Even if sometimes my plans make things worse"
"Remember that time we soaked the girls hockey team?" he nodded "If it wasn't for that plan we wouldn't be here now, my dream wouldn't have come truth, I guess that was a nice result"
"Are you trying to be nice to me?" he raised his eyebrow not losing his saddened expression.
"You wrote me a beautiful song, you called your girlfriend a bitch for me and you´re here…I guess is fair that I do it"
"You seem awfully ok with me being here…one could think that after all I did to you, you would be a lot less forgiven…did Logan put you up to this?"
"Yes and no" I shrugged "He came and told me I was an idiot for not noticing how you felt about me sooner…he´s right, now that I think about it you were painfully obvious" I chuckled.
"Yeah you were pretty clueless" I raised my eyebrow not happy about his comment "Hey being nice doesn't mean not cracking a joke every now and then" a smile threatened to appear on his lips, but he kept it hidden.
"I could say that it was your fault for being so perfect but…"
"Perfect? Perfect! James I´m not perfect! I´m the furthest thing from it!" he looked at me like I was delusional.
"Dude! You beat Logan in school! Once but you did it…you are awesome in hockey, you are the best son, friend and person someone could ask for…even now that you have Hollywood all over you…you sing, I-I love your voice, it´s like unnatural how you could sing like that without any kind of training…you are hot, sexy and…" I was rambling I knew that but I could not stop myself, which it was somewhat embarrassing "I know I gave you hell about your eyebrows and in any other person they would look horrible but in you they fit, they frame your emerald eyes, they…" he shut me up with his lips, thank God. It was a chaste kiss, simple and cute but for me it felt like the greatest thing "I´m tired of trying to hate you" I whispered shrugging, he frowned "Yeah I was trying…I could never really hate you…I love you too much to do it" in my mind I had played this a lot different, I was supposed to ask for an explanation, to demand him to answer all of my questions and then I might tell him how I felt, but I could not hold things much longer, it was my fault that we had lost so much time…now he was looking at me like I was from another planet, didn't he expect this at all?
"You don't love me" he spoke in a steady voice "All your songs…the only thing they say is how much you hate me" I rolled my eyes before I got up and walked out to get my notebook, when I came back he was in the same spot looking thoughtful.
"Read this" I was a little uneasy about letting him read all that I had written in there but I was sure that if I didn't explain everything he made me feel, he would not believe my feelings…Logan was right, being me I had shoved him away every time he tried to get close to me…God I was such an idiot for not noticing before… all the sheepish looks, the way he looked right at me when he earned something, he wasn't trying to show how awesome he was, he was trying to be awesome for me and I had thought that all he wanted was to praise his accomplishments…those three days had served me well to understand a lot of things, including the way I desperately loved him, I didn't care about anything else, I just wanted to be with him and do things right for the first time.
"When did you write this?" he whispered looking at one in particular, I grimaced when I read it was from one of those dark times when I started working with Hector, it was safe to say I was completely miserable when I wrote it.
"Around a year after I left, yeah not my best moment" I sighed resting my head on his shoulder, he tensed "Why did you really do it?"
"Because I´m an ass. A dude told me that if I would never get anything from you I might as well take it…it was just the kiss then…"
"Yeah huge kiss"
"Is that sarcasm?" he looked at me like I was crazy.
"Hey you almost gave me a heart attack and you settle for a three second kiss, not even tongue! Dude of course I had to teach you how you kiss somebody" I turned my body looking at him, it was so easy to talk to him now that I had made up my mind "I´m sorry, for throwing all the blame in you when I was there too…why did you leave me there? Why?" I tried not to yell but that was the question that I needed him to answer the most.
"You don't remember anything after, do you?" he rested his elbows on his knees.
"After as in…"
"Right after sex"
"No I…I don't, the only thing I remember is the morning after" I frowned not getting his question, he sighed before he moved to face me and cupped my face with his hand.
"You fell asleep and then you started crying"
"I don't cry" yeah way to not sound like a little kid James.
"But you did…and I had no idea what to think of it, it could be because you regretted us…that you slept with me just because you were sad for your mom…how could you sleep with me when you could hardly stand me?"
"Did I do something that made you think I didn't want it as much as you? I don't know why I cried, probably because honestly you kind of made me feel like scum, like a whore" he made a pained expression.
"I wanted to make you feel like that" he lowered his hand to his lap, his eyes were clouded "I wanted to treat you like the whore you were for accepting me so easily just to get rid of your sorrow…thinking like that I dressed myself and went to pick up Jo, she was the girlfriend I should have, the girl that was supposed to make me forget you…every day for the next years I closed my mind to all the memories knowing that I had made a mistake…when I saw you again and you ran from me I couldn't stop anymore, I started hating the life I had created…"
"I did notice, poor paparazzis" he chuckled nodding.
"Then when I thought that it had been the last time I could ever see you, you pop on the TV practically telling me to fuck off with one song"
"I have a love-hate relationship with that video" I murmured "I hated to open myself to everyone like that…I don't like to throw dirt at people and the whole world finding out either…but at the same time I loved giving you hell, taking a little of all that you had taken from me" I kept my gaze on his not baking up from my words "And then the auction happened, and the club and the baby…and yeah we´ve been through some shit"
I looked at him, it was almost painful having him there looking at me with those big hazel eyes and not touch him.
"I need a shower" he said looking at his shirt in disgust then he took it off and I had to swallow at the sight of his sculpted sexy chest, sadly I turned my eyes away a little too late, he saw me practically drooling over him, he leaned closer to me and whispered to my ear "Wanna join me?" my breaths hitched before I took his neck making his lips crash into mine, I took him hungrily, our tongues battling for dominance as his hands found their way to my sides making me lay down, he moved to nibble my neck, sucking on my pulse point making me gasp.
"James" I moaned when he started palming me, what was it about him that made me lose it like this? I swallowed trying to compose myself before I pushed him to his back changing out positions, this time I took charge of the kiss occupying my hands on his nipples, he moaned digging his hands on my hair pulling it slightly. I began to kiss his chest giving enough tongue attention to his pink lumps.
"Kendall" he gasped and like every sound he made the chills went straight to my cock. I loved having him there just waiting for me to do something, to touch him; last time he hadn't even let me near him, but I was not having that now. I continued kissing lower, getting my tongue on his belly bottom smiling at the breathless chuckle he gave me, I might use that tickling spot later.
I let my lips kiss the skin right above the hem of his pants, sucking and biting until I left a nice mark, he moaned bucking his hips rubbing his clothed erection on my chest.
"Do you want something James?" I let my face fall on his crotch and gave him small bites.
"Oh God" he grasped the carpet sending his head back.
"What do you want James?" I opened his pants and took them away before I decided to tease him, I moved my head to rest in my hand and my other hand to trace small patterns on his clothed erection.
"Kendall…" I raised my eyebrow at him, he was looking right inside my eyes, his hazel ones dark and needing "Suck me" well I could not make him ask twice. I lowered his boxers freeing his dick, I had to lick my lips at the sight of it, it looked painfully aroused and the tip was licking precum. I took it between my hands and not losing the eye contact I passed my tongue through his vein, then his tip in a rolling motion; he was breathing hard with his eyes closed as I continued teasing his member, when I got tired of doing it I swallowed before I started to take him in my mouth.
"Shit" he hissed putting his hand on my head as I began pumping it. I hollowed my cheeks adding more pressure and he grasped my hair strongly, I moved my hand to caress his balls picking up the speed "I´m going to…Kendall!" I swallowed all his seed and moved away moving him with my hand to get all the cum before I looked at him, he was breathing evenly and had his eyes closed. I got up and crawled to be at his face level, cupping his face leaving small kisses on his jaw and lips. This little fluff was what we had missed the other times, and I was not letting it happen again.
"I love you" he said freezing my movements "I´m sorry for everything I did to you…I can´t believe that after I made your life a mess you´re still here…I love you so much Kendall" he pulled me to look right into his eyes before claiming my lips in a sweet kiss, I ended it letting my head in his neck and hugging him…it was safe to say I was speechless, I had waited a lifetime to hear him say those words to me "I´m ok if you can´t speak" he said amused "Just don't cry" I chuckled pocking his side, that was not nice.
"I love you too, that´s the only thing you need to know" I moved to kiss him again feeling his hands undressing me, yeah I also had a little problem that needed to be solved "This is so sexy" I said letting my fingers follow the trail of the snake in his arm.
"I know" I rolled my eyes, yeah some things in life didn't change, like James Diamond´s love for himself. I pushed me to my back and I knew I was not going to top this time, or the near future…it was strange how little I minded that.
"Ready?" he asked giving me stroke, I moaned nodding when his other hand caressed my hole before one of his fingers slid in.
I got in as soon as he was ready, I moved slowly thinking we had all the time of the world, I kissed him letting my tongue memorize every bit of his mouth.
"Faster" he breathed hugging my hips with his legs. I continued that same phase knowing I was driving him crazy "James I fucking blew you, now fuck me good!" he hissed making me look at him.
"So eager" I hugged him changing our positions "If you want it so bad, ride me" I whispered at his ear, he didn't need me to tell him twice, he began moving fucking himself with my dick hard. I rested my hands on his hips pushing mine up to meet his thrusts. He practically yelled when I hit that bundle of nerves and I tried to hit there in every move. His moans and gasped became louder in every move signaling me that he was about to hit top.
"James!" he shouted filling both of our chests with his cum, his orgasm triggered mine and I kept rocking into him until he collapsed on top of me panting. We didn't move for God knows how long, just enjoying each other in a way we could not do before. I kissed his temple when I started feeling a little too gross.
"I was serious about that shower" I said he groaned moving to rest at my side before he sat and grabbed his pants, not without wincing a little "What are you doing?" I asked him when he took a look at his phone.
"Smile" I was temporally blinded by the phone´s flash.
"Hey!" I blinked fast looking at him typing on the phone fast, I frowned sitting next to him finding out that he was twitting a picture of me…the same he had just taken "Dude you can´t put that on the internet! That's porn!"
"Relax, it´s only your face" he showed it to me, I was just looking at him, my eyes showing all the adoration of the world…ok it wasn't an awful picture "Read" he gave me the phone and I smiled reading his words; we still had tons of shit to deal with, but truly we were finally on the right track to be happy and get over those six painful years.
KKnight. Kendall Knight
The owner of my heart, body and soul…oh and btw I´m Gay.
53 seconds ago.
Ooookay I´m undercover here! (don't tell my mother!) I just had to end this…tell me people, did you hated it? Loved it? What about the whole story? Review xD
Lots and lots of love and thanks to all of you! See ya in three weeks!