The Adventures of Bro's and Company on DOFUS
Once upon a time there was a girl in a guy's cover-up (named Soarin) who was very bored. After much time thinking, well, random thoughts, she decided to sit down on a cliff and talk to people who happened to pass by.
During her impulsive chats with no one in particular, she met a young kitten named Mittens (who had a bad potty-mouth that went against #5). She tried to make friends with Mittens but to no avail. Mittens ended up hating her guts because….well because.
After some time spent on trying to tame ferocious Mittens; Soarin's good friend, Nav, made her appearance claiming she knew the kitty. After just a few seconds Mittens started cursing like no tomorrow, which Nav and Soarin promptly ignored.
The two good friends chatted and decided to play a game of "Truth or Dare" for good old times sake (and for the sake of staying entertained).
During the game of Truth or Dare Soarin was dared to find a boyfriend…or girlfriend….or….forget it. Anyways, she decided (she's still in guys form here) to take up the difficult challenge of trying to make Mittens her boyfriend for five seconds. In the time limit of five minutes, she tried many different approaches but did not succeed. One of them was even a blackmail saying that she would give him a worse name than Mittens. Mittens sheer stupidity did not collapse and Soarin faltered. Whoever thought battles could be won by stupidity Mittens is going to kill me if he reads this.
So in the end, Soarin kept her (Note: Everyone, excluding Nav, thinks she's a guy….this includes mittens) word and gave Mittens the new name "Snookiepoo". This resulted in an eruption of words going against code five from the white kitten.
However, soon two brothers arrived enforcing the mighty code and putting a stop to all the chaos (even if it was only for two minutes, it was a miracle for Snookiepoo's case). They also agreed to join in the game of "Truth or Dare".
Soon Soarin revealed the shocking truth that "he" was actually a "she". Everyone doubted her at first, but eventually came to believe in the strange girl.
In those two minutes they enjoyed their game but then Mittens Snookiepoo started acting up again. All of them were forced to flee.
Mittens Snookiepoo chased them far and long (okay okay, one scene change in Dofus) but eventually gave in and left. Finding a secluded area surrounded by high cliffs with an ancient tree giving shade, and a small bridge connecting it; the friends made themselves comfortable.
The brothers became known as Sigmah and Acero.
Their game continued. Sigmah was given the horrifying dare of dissing Mittens Snookiepoo which he bravely carried out, and impressively won. Soarin was shocked to find him back in one piece and humored that he won the diss fight.
In the time Sigmah was gone Acero questioned Soarin's declaration of being a girl. Soarin quickly reassured him that she was in fact a girl. Unfortunately, he was still wary. Keeping his distance, he struck up small chat with Soarin, still thinking it was odd for her to be in a guy's character.
Once everyone was gathered again the dares went on (you know, no one ever picked truth). The circle got to Acero, who was dared to kiss Soarin. Soarin just shook with laughter feeling bad for him (with all his attempt to stay away from her and all…).
After much silence, Acero agreed under the condition that Soarin bring out her main, girl archer to kiss instead. Soarin abided to his terms and retrieved her main character, Amayu.
The kiss happened, people gasped, and the game started once again. By the end of the game, the brother Acero was a couple with Amayu (because of Nav's dare) and the other bro, Sigmah was a couple with Nav (Amayu's dare to get back at Nav). Both couples also had to act lovey-dovey throughout that time to fulfill their dares.
They did many romantic things, such as: Eating bread (romactic huh?), hugging, calling each weird and overly cheesy names, etc. Nav gave in first, unable to stand all the intense powers of love and snookems. Sigmah was again dared by her to tell his brother "I LOVE YOU" which he did with no delay.
Sigmah was quickly overcoming Amayu's place as the "#1 Dare Person".
So now it was a love triangle. Greeeaaat.
Some more fun moments passed by before Nav had to leave. Hugs were given, pet larva's cried. She left.
"Now what?" Amayu asked, no longer on her character Soarin.
"I'm going to sleep in the tree." Acero said, and went to do so.
Minutes passed. Within those minutes many incredible things happened! I just….don't remember them.
Sigmah spent some time at one of his favorite spots, the edge of the cliff, where he could watch other people going about their daily lives in Astrub. He ended up spotting one of our good friends Billy Bob Joanna….or just John. We all rushed to the cliffs edge in order to try and get our friends attention.
Acero even woke up from his nap and tried to reach John on his cell phone….Alas….no reception.
John finally noticed them and attempted to climb the cliffs to come up and greet them. All of a sudden a banana peel appeared! Before Amayu yelled a warning, John slipped on the banana peel and fell to a dramatic and unseemly death.
"…..Is that his brain….?" Amayu tried to look away but found she couldn't.
"….How does his leg bend like that?" Acero asked, also unable to turn his head.
"Just stop looking at him!" Sigmah was turned away, positively disgusted.
The young adventurers spent the next ten minutes trying to decide who would call John's (who was now undistinguishable) parents.
Somehow it got to Amayu who suffered a life altering experience of incorrect spelling (which she still suffers from time to time till this very day). Due to this sudden disability it became Acero's duty to call the parents.
He put it in such a blunt and insensitive manner that it shocked everyone. Here is Acero quoted directly:
"YOUR SON DIED SO GO FIND ANOTHER KID!"
No words came to Sigmah's mouth except one, "…..Wow."
Amayu managed three, "…..That was harsh."
Following the brutal phone call was a mourning session lasting a total of eight seconds. Amayu wailed in grief in those fleeting moments, asking John to come back to them.
Well that was a stupid idea Amayu…Now she is haunted by the Ghost of John who cannot rest in peace because of her anti-normalness (AKA – randomisity).
To atone for her sins, Amayu attempted to save people from the wrath of sheep (Gobballs). One of the victims succumbed to his stupidity and took on a particularly large sheepy….he was known as…..the sheep chief. The foolish victim did not bother to ask for help until the very last second. The heroic archer, Amayu, jumped into the fray of the battle just in the nick of time (Fine….I'm over exaggerating….).
Nevertheless, her effort was futile. An unseen evil force made her freeze…..next, her vision went black (my computer froze and I logged out).
When Amayu awoke, she found herself at her last save spot (it's like Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts….you never really die. The bosses must get tired of the same character coming at them again and again. I kind of feel bad for them. It's like: Look! ONE MILLION SORA'S! No wonder you beat the game. You're invincible with one million of you. ANYWAYS….).
"Huh? Where am I?" She questioned herself, "Oh right…save spot. Thank god for that….to think….I could be stuck in Astrub. No matter how I look at it, it sounds like…well I can't say it 'cause bad words don't really suit my tongue."
After talking to herself like a lunatic for a few minutes, she proceeded to return to "The Usual Spot".
She arrived just as Sigmah and Acero were getting into a conversation about where she could have disappeared to.
Acero: So, where did Amayu go?
Sigmah: I don't know. She "poofed" on us (He didn't actually say this. But conversations should always have a variety of vocabulary….even if the word doesn't happen to be in the dictionary.)
Acero: Up in the tree…his favorite napping spot Well….at least I can get some sleep now.
Right then, Amayu cut in, giving a sarcastic, "Thanks a lot Acero…."
Still not completely recuperated, Amayu began to munch on some bread in order to heal herself.
"Careful on that bread," Acero observed.
"But I need it…" Amayu complained. "Besides, brad is my passion!" She shouted like a moronic imbecile (misspelling bread…I told you she still suffers from horrific bad-spelling).
Recovering fast, for she hates to be caught misspelling, she hastily ran to the cliff and exclaimed, "Speak of the devil! Look, there's Brad!"
The brothers joined her and started calling out to brad. Amayu remained silent…
"Uh….you guys?" She spoke quietly and sounded very uncertain, "Has he found out about…..you know."
Of course she was implying the whole John case….for you see, Brad was a very very very very very very very (Ok, we get the point!) …..…very good friend of Johns.
"No." Acero replied brusquely.
The trio peered over the cliff and there they witnessed Brad. He was standing over John's…..blob…..sharpening a butcher knife.
"…..We forgot to clean up." Amayu stated shortly…the others just remained still, unable to speak.
Brad was glaring up to the top of the cliffs, where the three stood (standing there like frightened deer in the presence of a car light).
They all sensed that Brad would have cheerfully killed them were he close enough. For now….they had the protection of the intimidating 500000000000 foot cliff in between them and their new "friend" (AKA – I think predator suits his part more befittingly).
Brad started to ascend the steep cliff, and killing intent could be felt pouring off of him in waves.
Acero was the first to summon the courage to speak, saying he would protect Amayu. Amayu was about to thank him, but her short attention span quickly turned to Nav, who had arrived once again.
"Nav!" Amayu squealed like an excited little kid and gave her a big hug.
Everyone else ran to where Nav was, excluding Acero (who was still keeping a look out for the deadly Brad), and eagerly greeted her (again…XD).
"Hey Acero, Brad isn't here yet is he?" Amayu inquired.
"Nope not yet," He confirmed.
"…..Who's Brad?" Nav was confused since she had missed quite a bit in her absence.
"It's a long story….." Amayu explained, "….involving a banana peal, a 500000000000000000 foot drop then a butcher knife. Oh, and some bread."
"Nevermind….I don't even want to know." Nav quickly countered before Amayu could get into any details (for she knew Amayu well...once she starts on something it's a difficult thing to get her to stop).
All of a sudden, Acero's cry pierced the air!
"BRAD'S HERE!" He wailed and immediately went to take cover behind…...an elderly woman? Oh COME ON. Okay…..To make the story more exciting I'm going to say a "masculine old woman"! Like….I PRO WRETSLER WOMAN! YEAH!
Reacting with cat-like reflexes, Amayu dove to the safety of some bushes. With her headgear (The headgear looks like a mini-sheepy…no, seriously. It does.), she camouflaged in with the other sheeps (Yes, sheeps).
Acero took a peak around the masculine old woman and allowed himself a sigh of relief, "Phew…I think he's gone…..for now."
"That was some lovely protection Acero…" Amayu laughed (A protector hiding behind a granny…..now that's a first. Oh sorry….a MASCULINE old granny. Ahem). Well, so much for him protecting her from the wrath of Brad.
All the while Nav kept demanding, "WHO THE HELL IS BRAD?". Tomato (Rule #99….yes, tomato counts as a fruit! And I'm still bound to #99 even when writing this story).
The friends, now reunited with Nav back, reminisced about previous times. Nav remembered that they were still under the dare of being couples and called it off.
All dares were completed successfully. Now there are no longer any couples.
As Nav and Amayu were babbling about nothing in particular, Nav noticed how the brothers always kept their arms crossed.
"Don't your arms get tired of that…?" Amayu questioned curiously.
"Yeah, they do." Sigmah answered.
I wonder why they do that all the time. Really. Their arms are ALWAYS crossed. And when someone asks them to uncross them they downright refuse.
"I wonder if it's to make them look more macho?" Amayu snickered.
"Oh YEAH!" The two brothers responded simultaneously (Note: Once again…I don't remember exactly what they said…soooo….don't kill me? It would be rather inconvenient. Then you wouldn't be able to read my awesome stories anymore! Unless you gave me a phoenix down….or a watermelon potion. Oops…straying off topic. Topic…..oh story! Riiight.)
Nav kept going and coming many, many, many times (logging off and on). At one point when she and Amayu were talking (once again), they noticed that the brothers were acting strangely.
They just stood there….facing each other and staring. Doing nothing and saying nothing. Just standing there with their arms crossed, resembling statues in every way.
Amayu: It looks like they're going to battle it out at any moment….o0
Nav: Are they going to kiss…..?
Amayu: Staring Contest?
Sigmah and Acero cut in abruptly saying it was "Telepathy #1".
Both started striking up small talk out of nowhere that made no sense whatsoever. Nav and Amayu felt totally left out….
The brothers chat continued until, without warning, they started shouting at each other. This took Nav and Amayu completely off guard. At first they just gawked at the Bro's, befuddled.
Not long after the yowling session, the brothers just walked away from each other and wouldn't speak, or even look at each other.
Their first big fight of these Chronicles had begun.
This was one of Amayu's quotes during the "Nothing Fight" (We never figured out what the whole thing was about….since they had it through telepathy. I wouldn't be surprised if it was about cheesecake….or perhaps pound cake. That's another fight we'll save for later though….).
Amayu: It's like a banana split without the banana….
This was indeed how it felt during the time the brothers remained separated.
Oh, and speaking of banana's. Amayu could no longer find her pet larva, Banana. She looked everywhere frantically, sincerely worried about her little mutant friend.
The facts of the matter are…..Banana had been missing ever since Amayu froze and appeared again at the save spot. Whether it be her stupidity or just her being overly-oblivious we still do not know. All we DO know is that Banana went to the dark side (Who can blame him….her….it? I mean…they had HOMEMADE chocolate-chip cookies! Who has the power to refuse THAT?)
So, consequently, Banana made a pact with Brad and assisted him in tracking down Amayu (sweet, sweet revenge for Banana…).
Amayu found him cooperating with the maddened Brad and shrieked "TRAITOR!"
Her heart-wrenching wail could be heard all throughout Incarnam (I'm just soaking this in drama….XD).
Nav and the brothers came together, comforting Amayu. She quickly cheered up and got a new pet larva named "Pineapple".
As soon as Amayu calmed down the brothers split up yet again.
Now this fight was just downright irritating.
Nav and Amayu intervened and tried numerous tactics to cheer the brothers up and get them back on good terms. All of them were unsuccessful. Amayu even threatened Acero and Sigmah, saying that they would be eaten by Pineapple and thrown into another dimension. It would be a land full of pink bunnies who make them wear dresses, and POLKA DANCE….even this did not waver the brothers' sheer will (I don't think that even the bravest of kitties would be able to stand up against that!).
With all the drama going on, Amayu was forced to remove her headgear in order to breathe. A headgear is pretty heavy…not to mention smelly. It's like having a goat…sheep…whatever, sitting on your head all day just laughing as you suffer under their weight!
With this done, she was allowed to think more efficiently.
A light bulb materialized over her head. The frightening thing was that…..it was ON.
With her "brilliant" plan etched in her brain, she began to carry it out.
"Acero could you come here for one second….?" She beseeched in an overly-sweet manner.
He took a few hesitant steps towards her.
Few more steps.
"A little bit closer…."
A little more steps than last time.
"Just a little more….."
Nav even wondered if she was going to kiss him (What's with Nav and ALWAYS thinking that people are going to kiss? Maybe I'm drawing him closer to stuff a grapefruit in his mouth!).
Luring him bit by bit, Amayu finally managed to get him next to her (with Sigmah right on her other side). With that accomplished, she scampered away leaving the brothers to their own devices (Which, now that I think about it…wasn't that great of an idea.).
"Good job," Nav commented, giving Amayu a good pat on the back, "Now lets give them some alone time."
Nav walked away to another area with Amayu following.
The brothers were alone….
The brothers just stared at each other (probably using telepathy #1 again).
On the other end of the line, the girls (Nav/Amayu) were talking about….well….girly stuff. In the midst of their conversation, Sigmah came running passed. Spotting the chickities (Can that be another word for girls? I don't know !) he took cover behind a rock to avoid being spotted.
Too late….Amayu had already seen him with her "eagles eye" vision.
Upon spotting him Amayu yelled, "DON'T YOU DARE RUN AWAY SIGMAH!"
"….You know I can see you…..right Sigmah?…," She quirked her eyebrow slightly.
Nav came up behind Amayu telling her that she would go deal with Acero, leaving Amayu to take care of Sigmah.
Amayu nodded agreement and Nav left to try and reason with the other impossible brother.
Turning her attention back to Sigmah, Amayu began to prod him about what had occurred between the brothers NOW.
He stayed as quiet as a….. (I can't say mouse cause they're actually pretty loud when they want to be….he was even quieter than that)…..mime? Yes, he was as quiet as a mime. Then again….mime's could be pretty loud if they suddenly messed up and tripped over an invisible duck. Anyhow….
Amayu decided to try out her randomness (which can be a pretty big shock to some people's systems.) on he reluctant brother.
"Come now Sig, please say something? Remember? Brotherly love can defeat even the biggest of dinosaurs! D". She even added the sign language (you know, just in case he was covering his ears.).
"Yay, Dots!" She cheered with glee (….at least it was something..).
Before Amayu could get started on rambling about how dots (the candy) didn't taste that good and that runts were definitely better, Sigmah declared that he would go and try to confront his brother again.
Amayu just beamed moronically, nodding vigorously in encouragement.
With quite a bit of goading from the girls, the brothers finally made up. Unluckily, Nav had to go (yet once AGAIN). This time, there were many Yo's from Acero (his way of saying goodbye); See ya later spacecowgirl's from Sigmah (Sig's way of saying bye); and regular goodbye's from Amayu (I'm just boring….). This went on for about twenty minutes (seriously, I'm not even exaggerating here! Well….not too much anyways) repeating the same things over and over AND OVER again (Like a broken record baby! Round round round round. Okay, "broken" isn't actually in the lyrics but I had to add it so it fit in with what I'm trying to say here….).
In the end….or…near the end, Amayu added one spontaneous "cereal". There! Not so boring now huh?
With one of the important main characters gone, everything went silent….
To keep from being squished like little cockroaches from the awkwardness, Acero and Sigmah began to do some kind of weird ritual dance which involved waving of fists and smashing things with gobball hammers (ok so, they're actually emoticons in the game…).
Amayu….being Amayu(Note: She…I will laugh at practically anything that's the least bit funny….except perverted stuff. YES I'm talking about you Death.), starts giggling. This quickly turns into roaring laughter…..…and then her death (lack of oxygen).
Amayu's last words: …..Why….is…..this…..so…..funny….?
She impressively managed to say this in between her "HAHAHAHAHAHA's".
So….your probably wondering what happened now with Amayu dead. If your thinking "no" I'll hunt you down and throw oranges at you!
The Brothers' Reaction :
Acero : "….OMG."
Sigmah : ….What are we suppose to do with her?
Pineapple was the one to take action first and proceeded to drag Amayu under the "Emo Tree" (named by Christinaa….you'll meet her later). There she was buried by her beloved larva.
"I claim Pineapple! I'll take care of him…..her….it… with Amayu gone." Acero announced.
And so, with the mutant thing under his care, Acero went to sleep.
Right about now Amayu was cursing him from below the dirt…..Don't forget the fruits! :D
However, Sig (being more observant at the time), went to go investigate the ground where Amayu was concealed. There he found a gravestone (who knows how it got there…?) that read:
R.I.P - Here lies Amayu - Her (Other) Last Words Were…
Hey guys! Sorry for being so random all the time….
P.S. – Fruits are Yummy.
Sigmah just stared at the gravestone a few more seconds before speaking.
"Wow….those were some pretty random last words."
Oh woe is….they. Their random groupie was deceased.
This is the part in the story where trees talk!
Just as I mentioned, the Emo Tree spoke in a deep tree-like voice (maybe like a…drier?). Apparently, it had been given the power to do so by Amayu's randomness. However, her almighty ability to speak of flying toothpicks and talking avocados was too great for the sad, sad tree.
The giant tree spoke hastily with the short time he had left before her insanity engulfed him (for I declare that this ancient broccoli is a "he"! What? Haven't you ever imagined your broccoli were trees when you were little? They would be all "Oh no's! Please oh great giant, don't eat us!" and you would be like "MWUAHAHAHA!" until the cat jumped on your food. Then you would look just like the Grinch…another face conquered by the broccoli.)
The he-tree begged continuously to the brothers, asking them to dig up the girl before he (yes the tree….now I sound like a Dr. Suess book) was taken over.
Sigmah complained, saying he was short of a shovel.
"Just hurry up and get her OUT!" The tree exploded with frustration, "I'll make her follow the person who digs her out like a zombie!"
Acero inched away, "I'm not doing it."
"No that's not what I meant…..what I meant was…AAAAAAH! THE AIMLESS HEAD OF THIS GIRL IS TOO INFURIATING!"
Finally the eldest of the brothers spoke up, "I guess I can do it….but it may take a while with my bare hands…"
The He-Tree thanked him numerous times.
However, witnessing the scene, Pineapple just squirmed his way up to the grave and uncovered Amayu in a matter of milliseconds (dang…he's fast).
END OF FIRST CHRONICLE - DUN DUN DUN! What will happen to Amayu now that she's a Zombie?
Authors Note: Alright my readers, this is the end of the first chronicle! What do you think so far? Super-sweet? Downright-Dumb? Let me know. :D
And to Ry, Christinaa, and Tatertot (and whoever else I missed...sowwies ;;;), I'm working on getting you in on the story right now so have a bit more patience with me ;;;;;. Thanks Everyone! :J
P.S - Random quote of the week (I seriously have a book of them) :" Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in."
Okay, I have to do one more (turns to random page) : "Life is far too important to ever talk seriously about."
There you have it! Keep watching for the continuation on where we left off ;P.