A/N: Once upon a time my friend ShearEnvy pinged me and said she thought someone should write a Twific that was sorta like the movie My Best Friends Wedding (with the same basic premise) but not really like it in the fact that she thinks the ending was very horribly wrong (I have to agree, WTF Michael?). I said that would be awesome and the subject was dropped. She did some *wink wink, nudge nudge* later. I didn't get the hint. Finally, she broke out the big guns and flat out triple dog dared me to write it for her. And well, I'm pretty sure there's a law or a commandment about that, thou shalt not turn down a triple dog dare. So here I am, writing a Twific with the same basic idea as MBFW, but at the same time it's not really the same story. It'll contain some elements/lines/ideas/scenes from the movie, but much more and (obviously) a different ending. That's necessary (again, WTF Michael?).

This story is absolutely nothing like anything else I've written before, so if you're looking for something similar to EP you might want to not proceed. There's minimal angst and the chapters will be on the short side for me. Updates are planned once a week on Fridays.


"Love makes you do crazy things, insane things, things in a million years you wouldn't see yourself doing, but there you are doing them." - Wicker Park


I couldn't see.

I didn't mean that in a metaphoric blind to reality sort of way, although I'm sure some would probably argue I was a bit delusional. I meant it literally - I couldn't fucking see.

I was positive I was awake. Or at least, pretty damn sure, anyway. It was pitch black and my eyes were burning, like someone had thrown acid in them and it was eating away at my flesh. Gross. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my vision, but it only made it worse. It was like pouring gasoline on a fire, exploding pain straight through to the back of my skull.

My head... fuck, it hurt. The pounding was steady, almost rhythmic. Thump-thump. Thump-thump. I wanted to rip it off, detach it from my neck just to make it stop. I groaned, but just doing that hurt, too. My mouth was dry and my throat was scratchy, making it hard to swallow. It felt raw, like I'd been screaming for hours.

Shit. Had I? I couldn't seem to remember.

I shifted position, the pain rippling from my head to my toes. It felt like it ran deep, way down to my bones. Every inch of me was sore. My first thought was that I'd been hit by a truck, or maybe beaten with a baseball bat. Muscles I didn't even know I had ached. I felt dead.

Fuck, was I dead?

No, even death couldn't feel this bad.

I was laying on something that felt suspiciously like a bed, but it was definitely not mine. It was hard and lumpy, with springs jutting into my back. I rolled over onto my side and it took some effort, but I managed to pull myself up to sit.

And that's when the stench hit me. God, it was awful. It smelled like pure ass. I grimaced and looked around in the darkness for the source, but after a moment it dawned on me... it was me.

Jesus, I stunk. What the hell?

I was sweaty, and the over-sized t-shirt I had on clung to my skin. It was unfamiliar, black with some sort of small yellow logo on the chest that I couldn't make out. It fell almost to my knees, leading straight into bare legs. I was half-naked. Where the fuck were my pants?

Confused, I scooted to the edge of the maybe-bed and stood up. My knees were weak and my legs shook, but I managed to stay on my feet. Queasiness churned in my stomach and I was light-headed, trying to ignore the stabbing pain. I felt around in the darkness, tripping over stuff that was scattered all over the floor and ran into something, nearly knocking it over. I found some sort of small lamp and flipped the switch to turn it on, cringing as light infiltrated the room around me. It was blinding and made the thumping in my head intensify, leaving me just as helpless as I had been in the dark.

After a moment my eyes started to adjust to the light. My vision was still hazy, everything a blur, but I could finally make out some of my surroundings. The room was small, the walls a pukey tan color. There was a mirror straight in front of me and I stared at my reflection when I spotted it, horrified. I looked like I'd been punched in both eyes and my hair was frizzy, standing straight up in some places. I tried to smooth it down, catching a glimpse of something on my wrists as I did. I quickly looked at my hands, seeing faint bruising and some scuffs on my palms. It looked almost like rope burn.

What the motherfuck?

I was rubbing one of my wrists, confused, when there were some subtle noises behind me in the room. I thought I'd imagined them at first until the bed squeaked, and I spun around, nearly falling over in my haste. Everything was still fuzzy, but I could faintly make out a body laying on the bed. They were wrapped in a hideous flowery comforter, with long hairy legs sticking out of the bottom of it and over the edge.

My heart started racing wildly as I panicked, my breathing shallow. I felt like I was about to pass out. There was a man. In bed. With me.

And I was wearing no pants.

Holy fuck, what did I do?

My mind was a flurry of questions as I tried to think back and make sense of it all. Slowly, as if to taunt me, the previous twenty-four hours started to become clearer. It was like a veil was being lifted, my sins on display for the world to see. I'd pulled some ridiculously petty schemes the past few weeks, creating chaos in the name of love, but none of it matched up to what I'd done the night before.

No, there was no going back from that.

I squeezed my eyes shut, this time welcoming the darkness. This time wishing I really were asleep. Because when it came to reality...I just couldn't see it anymore.

And that was when I felt it. When the twinge of remorse started bubbling up inside of me.

How the hell had I let it get that far?

From here, the story goes back to the beginning and leads up to this.
Catch ya next time :)