Jar of Hearts
…Twelfth in the Love Game series
A Grey's Anatomy fic by Gigi
Disclaimer: Don't sue.
A/N: So this is kind of an emotional fic. It's different than what I usually do for this series. Most of the stories I write are more of a creative outlet that serves for some sort of inspiration. This one was more of an emotional outlet. I wrote this primarily for me, so it may not be my best work, but I think it was good enough to post here. Hopefully, it can be an emotional outlet for you, too!
The rain beat against the glass of the floor-to-ceiling windows, which looked out onto the bleak landscape filled with tarmac, jetways and airplaines. Addison checked her watch with a sigh. Boarding for her flight to LA was about to begin, and her vacation would finally start.
And, boy, did she ever need the time off more than she did right then.
Unbidden, her thoughts strayed, once again, to the final catalyst behind her decision to take a leave of absence from Seattle Grace Hospital: Alex Karev. The flirty, sweet, surprisingly thoughtful man behind that arrogant jerk façade was all her mind seemed to be able to focus on at the moment, which was exactly the opposite of what she needed. She needed to forget about him, to hate him, to do anything other than hurt every time she thought about him.
Which was often.
Flashes of memory floated forward, forcing her to recall the way she pushed him into that on-call room, the tender way he touched her, the softness in his features as he locked eyes with her before gently laying her down on the bed. Then the way those features closed right up mere hours, when he unwittingly tore at her heart.
"You're not my girlfriend."
Four simple words, and yet they were enough to shatter all hope for any semblance of happiness in all the dreariness of Seattle.
The BlackBerry in Addison's hand lit up and vibrated, signaling she had a new text message. A few clicks had it open.
Callie Torres: Karev is asking everywhere for you. What happened between you two?
The knot that had formed in Addison's chest tightened painfully as she read the message. Why was he looking for her? He obviously cared nothing about her, what with the cold manner in which he rejected her. Quickly, she typed a response.
Addison Montgomery: It's a long story. Just don't tell anyone where I am, please.
Not even a minute later, she received another message.
Callie Torres: Addie, is everything okay? You're starting to worry me.
Addison Montgomery: I'll explain everything when I get back. I just need some time not thinking about it.
Callie Torres: …Okay. Have a safe flight. Call me when you land.
After reading the last message, Addison turned off her BlackBerry and stowed it away just in time for boarding for first class to begin. She boarded the plane and promptly set to staring out the small window next to her, allowing her mind to wander again.
This time, her mind went a little farther back, to a night in Joe's bar, when she finally succumbed to her urge to kiss her intern. Every time she thought of their first kiss, she felt torn between wishing she had been sober so she could fully remember what it felt like, and wishing she had been far too drunk to remember the kiss at all. It didn't help that he had been almost completely sober—and had kissed her back—making his subsequent rejection of her all the more confusing. And painful.
An angry tear silently made its way down the redhead's face. She was angry about so many things. She was angry about her beyond tattered pride, about the fact that it was a younger man making her feel this way. She was angry at Alex, for being flirty and distant at the same time, confusing her to the point where she didn't even know what to think. But, above all else, she was angry at herself. She knew exactly what type of guy Karev was—God only knew how many women he'd picked up since coming to Seattle Grace Hospital alone—and she let herself fall for him anyway, knowing full well he didn't do commitment. She set herself up for all the pain she was in at the moment, nobody else. It was all ultimately her own fault.
Another tear fell, and she took a deep, shuddering breath. No, she wasn't supposed to think about him, not on her vacation. In a few minutes, she would be leaving behind the rainy skies of Seattle for the sun of Santa Monica. The tears should follow suit. This week was to help her forget, to maybe even heal a little bit.
She just needed to stop thinking about him on her vacation.
Reaching for the Sky Magazine in the seat pocket in front of her, she absentmindedly flipped through the pages, sometimes looking at the articles in failed attempts at focusing on their contents. In less than ten minutes, she had made it to the cheesy horoscope page in the back. For some reason, the words on this page, the one that no one ever takes seriously, jumped out at her, and she found herself reading her horoscope.
Be prepared this week, as a fascinating stranger is about to enter your life, and as a result, your future may soon undergo a seismic change in the romance department."
As soon as she'd finished reading her forecast, the captain's voice sounded on the intercom, announcing that they were ready to take off and requesting that everyone make sure their baggage is properly stowed and their seatbelts buckled. Addison stared blankly at the flight attendants' safety demonstration, thinking only about that small paragraph she had just read. As a doctor, she recognized the overwhelmingly high probability that astrology was nothing but guesswork, but she couldn't help hoping to God that, just this once, her horoscope had gotten something right.
A/N: And that's the end of my super depressing stage. Once again, sorry if the writing isn't up to my usual standard. Like I said before, this was mostly for me to get out all my feelings on paper, and it really, really helped me. Yes, that horoscope was real. Anyway, I hope you appreciated this, and please follow me on twitter!